tag:carellaross.com,2005:/blogs/rantings-ravings?p=2
Rantings & Ravings
2023-10-16T07:55:23-07:00
Carella Ross
false
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063943
2018-02-15T16:00:00-08:00
2018-02-16T10:43:15-08:00
Vivre Sa Vie Scenario by Jean-Luc Godard (from the 1962 winter issue of Film Culture magazine)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ba65442be273bee647fa6951d023751358ad92a9/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-1-anna-farina.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="850" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e33076333bc3fd94a1ceaf468e5c8825b3140e5e/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b3cd43a328166de24bba6fde817df1720925b5b6/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f9a09b066cb1b4a646d237690081b7795951c1f7/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-4.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5bf4b2732855cae2b91d8b291ef07a09ebe863fe/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-5.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0f07897947ba199817101b429f3e3a46891cf4de/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-6.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1430dbe5414a38643951d5c8f8c70176c3f3a034/original/vivre-sa-vie-scenario-by-jean-luc-godard-7-anna-farina.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /> </a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063942
2017-10-30T17:00:00-07:00
2018-02-13T14:57:25-08:00
Metal Machine Music - Liner Notes
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/508a7e59607118874d73c15c379366245ea67352/original/lou-reed-metal-machine-liner-notes-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="600" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7166a0bac35e231f8b341e3a0ae207f360ab7d8b/original/lou-reed-metal-machine-liner-notes-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgyMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="821" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e20b6009e2c099031f9b74859aa6f77d148a5235/original/lou-reed-metal-machine-liner-notes-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="600" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063941
2017-09-10T17:00:00-07:00
2018-01-08T18:12:57-08:00
Martin Sheen: Heart of Darkness Heart of Gold
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/cf577f470369a9757b6824e37eca9d46572239fe/original/martin-sheen-new-york-city-rolling-stone-magazine-1979.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="350" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p><strong></strong></p>
<p><strong><strong>written by Jean Vallely for</strong> <em>Rolling Stone</em><em> </em>magazine (November 1st 1979)</strong></p>
<p>Shit," says Martin Sheen as the makeup man fusses over him, "I've got this deformed left arm, three inches shorter than the right, can't do a thing with it and, gee, I'm just this little guy, five feet eight, 151 pounds. How can that be a star?" He shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe if I looked like Ray," he cracks as a member of the crew walks by, "I'd be a star. You know, I have this reputation of being choosy about my roles when, in actual fact, I never got many offers." He shrugs those shoulders again. "I turned down Magic, but after <em style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Apocalypse Now</em> I just didn't want to do any violence." Another shrug. "And I turned down <em style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Prophecy</em>, but that was easy; had toilet written all over it. I never got offered the biggies. Guys like Tony Harvey, Spielberg, all those other assholes would never hire me. But I tell you, if just one of my pictures had made money, been a hit, I would have had a different career."</p>
<p>"Relax, Marty," says director Don Taylor. "You'll be a big star soon. Whether <em>Apocalypse Now</em> is good, bad or indifferent, it will make you a star."</p>
<p>We are in Norfolk, Virginia, aboard the USS Nimitz, where Sheen is making <em>Final</em><em>Countdown</em>. It's a story about a nuclear aircraft carrier that's caught in a time warp and winds up in Pearl Harbor the day before the attack, with the military capability to destroy the Japanese fleet and, in the process, rewrite history. As we walk down the long, narrow corridors of the <em>Nimitz</em>, Sheen has words for everyone. He talks nonstop — free associates, really — intense one minute, laughing and joking the next. He looks like someone who's spent the last few days on speed. He is more attractive than he appears on film, with wonderfully expressive blue eyes and a healthy head of hair flecked with gray.</p>
<p>"I am right about this," continues Taylor as we make our way through the bowels of the Nimitz. "<em>Apocalypse</em> will make Marty a star."</p>
<p>Sheen has finished shooting for the day and we are sitting in the dining room of the Lake Wright Motel in Norfolk. He's making fast work of an enormous bowl of vanilla ice cream and strawberries. It is two p.m. and besides breakfast Sheen has already consumed a bag of licorice, a melon, some cherry cobbler, a second bag of licorice, another melon and cookies. He eats like a pig and has the body of a panther: lean and hard. It helps that Sheen runs a minimum of six miles daily and does 500 sit-ups and 500 push-ups. Moderation seems to be an alien concept to Martin Sheen.</p>
<p>In between spoonfuls of ice cream, Sheen talks about <em>Apocalypse</em>. "I want to tell you," he laughs, "I was nobody's first choice." Indeed. The part of Willard was offered to Steve McQueen, Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan and Jack Nicholson. Finally Harvey Keitel was cast.</p>
<p>This was January 1976, when Sheen was in Rome making a picture called <em>The</em><em>Cassandra Crossing</em>. His agent called and said that Francis Coppola was interested in him for <em>Apocalypse</em>. But there was a schedule conflict. Several weeks later his agent called again and told him he must fly to L.A. and talk to someone very important.</p>
<p>"I left Rome on Good Friday," continues Sheen, "and flew to L.A." He was to meet the director in the VIP lounge, but by the time he got through customs, only fifteen minutes remained before Coppola's plane left for the Philippines. Coppola quickly ran down his story and told Sheen he was considering him — along with several other actors — for the role of Willard. "The next day," says Sheen, "Holy Saturday [he thinks of days in terms of religious feasts], I got a call from Coppola's associate saying that Francis wanted me." Sheen said yes (he had not read the script), got drunk with his brother Alphonso, picked up the script on Easter Sunday and flew back to Rome. He wrapped <em>The Cassandra Crossing</em> on Monday, and on Tuesday, his wife, Janet, and their four children flew home to L.A., while Sheen headed for Manila to begin a saga that may indeed make him a star, but very nearly cost him his life.</p>
<p>By this time everyone knows that <em>Apocalypse Now</em> is based loosely on Joseph Conrad's <em>Heart of Darkness</em>. Sheen portrays Willard, a soldier ordered "to terminate with extreme prejudice" a brilliant Green Beret colonel named Kurtz, who has flipped out and has set up his own renegade army in Cambodia. As Willard makes his journey up the river in search of Kurtz, he makes another journey inside himself. In many ways, Willard's personal odyssey resembles Sheen's own life. "Sheen is Willard," says a crew member simply. "I did identify pretty closely with the character," Sheen agrees. "Making that film was an ordeal, not just physically but emotionally. I was staying in this hotel, and right outside was all this poverty. Pigs running around, children without any teeth." He pauses. "God, the world we live in is <em>so</em> strange."</p>
<p>Sheen got sick, lost weight. He would be all jokes and laughs on the outside, but on the inside he was being eaten alive. "Francis had this way of directing," says one crew member. "He would tell Martin, 'You're evil. I want all the evil, the violence, the hatred in you to come out.' You tell that to a guilt-ridden Irish Catholic and he hasn't a chance. Martin is so pliable.</p>
<p>"Francis," the crew member continues, "did a dangerous and terrible thing. He assumed the role of a psychiatrist and did a kind of brainwashing on a man who was much too sensitive. He put Martin in a place and didn't bring him back."</p>
<p>As <em>Apocalypse Now</em> opens, Willard is naked and drunk in a Saigon hotel room, waiting for his mission. He moves around the room doing karate exercises, then stops in front of a mirror. The vision he sees so repels him that he chops out at the mirror, smashing it. His hand is bleeding and he smears the blood over his face and body.</p>
<p>Powerful stuff. "Francis," continues the crew member, "kept Martin drunk for two days before that scene, kept him locked up. Francis kept telling him terrible things like how evil we all are, that we are all killers. It was devastating." Coppola's wife, Eleanor, writes about this scene in <em>Notes</em> (her running account of the making of the film):</p>
<p>Yesterday Francis shot the scene in the hotel room. He let Marry get a little drunk, as the character is really supposed to be. He and Marty both knew they were taking a chance. The first layer of the character Marty played was the mystic, the saint, the Christlike version of Willard. Francis pushed him with a few words and he became the theatrical performer, Willard as Shakespearean actor. Francis prodded him again and he moved to a street tough, a feisty street fighter who has been at the bottom, but is smart, knows some judo, is used to a scrap. At this point, Francis asked him to go to the mirror and look at himself and admire his beautiful hair, his mouth. Marty begins this incredible scene. He hit the mirror with his fist. Maybe he didn't mean to. Perhaps he overshot a judo stance. His hand started to bleed. Francis said his impulse was to cut the scene and call the nurse, but Marty was doing the scene. He had gotten to the place where some part of him and Willard merged. Francis had a moment of not wanting to be a vampire, sucking Marty's blood for the camera, and not wanting to turn off the camera when Marty was Willard. He left it running. He talked Marty through the scene. Two cameras were going… finally… Francis and Marty were alone. Marty was lying on the bed really drunk, talking about love and God. He was singing an old hymn called "Amazing Grace" and trying to get Francis and me to sing with him, holding our hands and crying. He was strong and wiry like a boxer. Francis was trying to be with him and see that he didn't hurt himself. His cut finger had been bandaged. It started to bleed again because he was squeezing our hands, hard, and sometimes hitting the edge of the bed. The nurse came in… Marty asked the nurse to pray and sing and I could see she was praying dead seriously… Janet came with their oldest child and Gary [Morgan]. Marty wanted us to hold hands and pray and confess our fears. There was that stiffness that exists when someone is drunk or on dope and you're not. They're in a different space… . Marty was preaching and carrying on, singing. Everyone was trying to sort of ease him toward the car. The Filipine nurse was praying out loud and saying, 'Jesus loves you, Marty.' It took about two hours to get him in the car and back to the hotel in the rain.</p>
<p>As Sheen was beginning to fall apart, a typhoon came and wiped out all the sets, closing down production. Sheen and his family returned home to Malibu. Sheen did not want to go back to the Philippines. "I held out," says Sheen. "I fought for more money." He smiles. "Never got it, the bastard. Francis and I battled over that and had a very heavy falling-out. We reconciled and I went back."</p>
<p>Recalls his friend, actor Gary Morgan, "When Marty came home after the typhoon he was real scared. He said, 'I don't know if I am going to live through this. Those fuckers are crazy, all those helicopters and really blowing things up.' It was freaky; at the airport he kept saying goodbye to everyone."</p>
<p>Sheen's gruesome premonitions were not groundless. He returned to the Philippines and his heart collapsed. "I nearly died," he says quietly. "I was alone. Janet had gone to Manila for the weekend. I was under a lot of tension. I had terrible eating habits and I was smoking a lot. I had been up and down like a yo-yo all night. I was reading several books at the time: William Burroughs' <em>Naked</em><em>Lunch</em>, William Saroyan's <em>Sons Come and Go, Mothers Hang In Forever</em>, a book on the Fonda family and Tennessee Williams' biography. I kept getting up and picking up one book and then another, and I had this severe pain in my inner elbow. Then my chest started to hurt and I thought, 'I'd better quit smoking.' All the while the wind was howling. The pain grew more and more intense as the night went on.</p>
<p>"At dawn I got up and I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were down to here." He points to his cheeks. "I looked bad. Then I really began to feel strange and went into the toilet and started feeling faint. I dressed myself, lying on the floor, pulling on my clothes and my combat boots. I crawled to the side of the road and propped myself up and waited. A public bus stopped and loaded me in. I made myself stay awake because I was sure if I lost consciousness I wouldn't come back. Then the wardrobe van passed and I was loaded into it. We drove to the production office and Dean Tavoularis, the production designer, stuck his head in the van, looked at me and started to cry. A doctor came in and he looked real worried. I just said, 'Get me a priest.' And he came and gave me the last rites. Here I am confessing and he couldn't understand a word of English." Sheen looks away. He smiles. "Well, who cares. That's all right." He smiles again. "I am one of those cliffhanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother."</p>
<p>Sheen takes a deep breath. Talking about this period remains difficult. He continues, "I just wanted to get to Janet. I was lying there for hours. They were trying to decide if they should risk taking me up in a chopper. I said yes and we flew to Manila. An ambulance met us, and as we drove to the hospital I remember getting up and untying my shoes. The doctors were yelling, 'Lie down,' and I said, 'Don't say another word until I get my boots off.' I untied one boot and threw it to the floor and then the other. See," says Sheen, "when I first went to New York twenty years ago, I was on the Bowery one day and watched these morgue people cart away a dead man. This one guy took off the shoes of the dead man and I'll never forget that. And all the while I was lying there I kept thinking, 'Take those fuckers off yourself and you'll make it.' "</p>
<p>Sheen not only had a heart attack but a nervous breakdown as well. "I completely fell apart. My spirit was exposed. I cried and cried. I turned completely gray — my eyes, my beard — all gray. I was in intensive care. Janet slept on the floor beside me. She called a therapist in New York and I talked to her every day and those two ladies pulled me through. I knew I would never come back until I accepted full and total responsibility for what had happened to me. No one put a gun to my head and forced me to be there. I was there because I had a big ego and wanted to be in a Coppola film."</p>
<p>A radio that has been playing softly in the background is interrupted by a news report on Jimmy Carter. Suddenly, as if someone had thrown a switch. Sheen begins a harangue.</p>
<p>"I love this country a lot, but we have no leadership. That's the lesson of Vietnam. We have to examine it and understand it so it will not happen again. And you know the villain who got away? Henry Kissinger. He aided and abetted the recent administration in the bombing of Cambodia. He was getting off killing Asians, like most of this country was, and now that son of a bitch is aiding the shah. I may not be helping, but at least I'm not helping the shah. I like Carter. I think he is an honest man. But there is still killing going on in Vietnam and there are people responsible, goddamnit. It's no accident. We have to be reminded all the time, and that's what Apocalypse Now will do. It is the first film that has taken the war and shaken it in our face."</p>
<p>And, just as abruptly, click, Sheen is laughing and telling heart-attack stories. Coppola had sent over some films and a phone number to call when Sheen wanted them run. One night he and Janet called, saying they wanted a projectionist at eight that evening. The projectionist, a Filipino, arrived promptly at eight — the next night. Just as the film started to roll, the guy grabbed at his chest and fell to the floor. "I swear to God," laughs Sheen. "Right in front of us, in my room." Janet ran out to get a nurse and the man was carried away. About ten minutes later, he returned to Sheen's room. "He looked awful," recalls Sheen, "and I asked the nurse if he was okay. She said no, he had had a severe heart attack. I said, 'What the fuck is he doing here?' The nurse said that he had no money. Well, Janet went crazy. She grabbed her purse and pulled out all her money and shoved it at the nurse and screamed, 'Get this man to intensive care immediately!' " Sheen laughs. "He actually took my old room in intensive care.</p>
<p>"And then," Sheen's blue eyes light up, "three days later, around six in the morning, I awoke and the bed was shaking and I thought it was Janet fooling around, but it was an earthquake. I thought, 'Oh God, I have survived all this to die in an earthquake.' I had been reading this book on Howard Hughes and how he had been in Santo Domingo during an earthquake and how all his guys were sneaking him on a stretcher through the rubble to safety. Well, I ran to the door, naked as a jaybird, and all the nurses and doctors were abandoning their patients, and suddenly I imagined that I was going to be this big hero and lead all the people out of there, down the streets, just like they did with Howard Hughes, except that I needed my combat boots because I knew I couldn't walk over the rubble in my bare feet. I kept yelling, 'Janet, get my boots,' and she laughed and put me back in bed."</p>
<p>Sheen's heart attack jolted the production company to their senses, and filming in Manila wrapped eight weeks later. Sheen had spent nearly two years in the jungle, and it still wasn't over for him. His life had changed profoundly. He couldn't shake Willard. He slipped into a deep depression. He and Janet separated. (They've since gotten back together.) He started drinking heavily. "It all culminated in an arrest in San Francisco. I tried to beat up a couple of cops. I got rolled, lost all my money. Francis had to bail me out. It was terrible, horrible. I had to publicly confess my sins to the judge. It was the worst day of my whole life."</p>
<p>Sheen looks away. "It was a warning. I have taken a vow not to drink for a year and I am in better shape now than I've ever been. I have to avoid stress situations and I can't smoke. As soon as I got out of the hospital in the Philippines I was right back smoking because Willard was smoking. When I got home and was examined, the doctor told me I had to quit and I did — for nine days. Then, in September 1977, I went to Smokenders for five weeks and was off cigarettes for ten months. But then I had to go to San Francisco to shoot some inserts for <em>Apocalypse</em> and I had this cigarette in my mouth and I just took a little drag and smoked straight for the next six months, right through <em>Blind Ambition</em>. Then I went back to Smokenders this past January and quit smoking on February 22nd, and I haven't had a cigarette since," Sheen sighs. "And I miss it every day."</p>
<p>To even begin to understand Martin Sheen, it is necessary to go back thirty-nine years to Dayton, Ohio, where he was born Ramon Estevez. His father was from Spain, his mother from Ireland. Mrs. Estevez had twelve pregnancies: ten survived, nine boys and one girl. Martin is the seventh son. The Estevez children grew up in a three-bedroom house, sleeping two to a bed. Both parents were deeply religious Catholics and Mrs. Estevez would recite the Rosary to the family each night after dinner. She died when Martin was eleven. Says Alphonso, his older brother, "My father didn't know what to do. There was all this talk about foster homes and orphanages, and he would just go week to week, and at the end of each week he had somehow managed to keep the family together."</p>
<p>The Holy Trinity parish supplied the glue. Sheen would get up each morning at six to serve Mass and he can still recite the entire ceremony in flawless Latin. "We were really poor and belonged to a very poor parish and the Church was the most important part of our lives," says Sheen. "We were taught by the Sisters of Notre Dame, sweet people and I loved them. They were strict disciplinarians. Boy, they beat the hell out of you and then slipped you money under the table for something you really needed. They had charity and compassion. To this day, when I see nuns I respond to them with that same feeling."</p>
<p>There was little time for fun and games growing up. All the children had jobs. At the age of nine, each boy caddied. Sheen would caddy eighteen holes in the morning, eighteen holes in the afternoon and then shag balls until dark. He attacked his first job with a seriousness and determination that would remain with him long after he left Dayton. And just as these qualities surfaced early on, so did his sense of right and wrong, his empathy for the underdog and his religious convictions.</p>
<p>When Sheen was fifteen he led the caddies out on strike. There were two golf clubs in Dayton, and Sheen and his buddies were not being paid as much as the caddies at the other club. "The strike lasted one day," says Alphonso. "Sheen led us out on Tuesday, but, see, Wednesday was the day all the doctors and lawyers played, and the pro sweet-talked everyone back and then fired Sheen."</p>
<p>His older brother Michael remembers playing in a golf tournament and Martin, who was then fifteen, was his caddy. Michael was down three holes with three left. He won the sixteenth, the seventeenth and he was lining up a ten-foot putt on the eighteenth when he looked up and there holding a rosary was Martin. "I got so nervous," laughs Michael, "I could barely concentrate. I sank the putt and went on to win the match in extra holes. Martin told me later that he had promised God that if I won the match he would make a novena."</p>
<p>It was touch and go for a while whether Sheen would become an actor or a priest. When he finally settled on acting, says Sheen, "There was never any question in my mind that I wouldn't become an actor. I knew it." He smiles. "Serving Mass was really theatrical. We dressed up in costumes. It was a performance." And Sheen was always performing, doing plays without props, standing up on boxes reciting poems. All the kids would laugh at him, but he didn't even notice.</p>
<p>Sheen's freshman year in high school and the arrival of a young priest, Father Alfred Drapp, was a turning point. Holy Trinity was Father Drapp's first parish and Sheen served his first Mass there. "The students organized a teen club," recalls Father Drapp, "and Ramon [as he still calls Sheen] was the first president. He was so serious and yet at the same time had this very comedic streak. And from the beginning he had this sense of 'I'll show them. I'm different."'</p>
<p>"He became my dear friend and confessor," Sheen says. "He was most influential and instrumental in my becoming an actor." When Sheen was seventeen he won the year-end award on a local TV talent show called <em>The Rising Generation</em>, reading from the book of Genesis. First prize was a trip to New York, and Sheen returned to Dayton knowing it would not be for long. He had taken to the city like a cowboy to the range.</p>
<p>"My senior year was one of the best times of my life," says Sheen. "I knew I was going to New York and spent the entire year dreaming about it. I let my hair grow long, listened to a lot of music and was very aware of the times. There were two big influences on me, James Dean and Elvis Presley, and no one who had that kind of effect came along until Bob Dylan." He pauses. "Dylan is my patron saint. I went to one of his concerts last summer and was going to go backstage to meet him and then I got scared. I figured there wouldn't be enough time for him to get to know me and I was afraid he wouldn't like me." Sheen gets a faraway look on his face.</p>
<p>His acting ambitions were a great disappointment to his father, who had managed to stash away some money for Sheen to go to the University of Dayton. Sheen, incapable of hurting his father, deliberately flunked his entrance exam. But Father Drapp interceded. Not only did he talk to Sheen's father, but he loaned him enough money to get him started in New York.</p>
<p>"Those were rough years for Ramon," says Father Drapp. "For two summers I went to New York to see him with every intention of bringing him back, but when I got there I just couldn't. Nothing could deter him from becoming an actor."</p>
<p>Rough is a mild adjective to describe those early years in New York, but despite the lack of money Sheen threw himself into the life and rhythm of the city. "It was the start of my adult life," he says. "The day after I got to New York, Buddy Holly was killed. I remember reading the headlines." He drifts off. "But it was all so exciting. Everything seemed to be happening."</p>
<p>Sheen landed a night job as a stock boy at American Express at forty dollars a week and spent his days auditioning at every casting call he could. As Ramon Estevez, he felt he was being typecast, so he changed his name for the stage. He took Sheen from a man he greatly admired, Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, and Martin, well, it just seemed to go. He was too poor to take acting lessons but he and some friends formed a group called the Actor's Co-Op under the guidance of Vasek Simek, and performed showcases in a loft next to the old Madison Square Garden building.</p>
<p>"Barbra Streisand was in our group," recalls Sheen. "She was this sweet kid from Brooklyn, very shy, funny, and no one knew she could sing. And then, lo and behold, she was on Broadway as a star." He pauses. "I see her occasionally, but I never mention it. I wonder if she remembers."</p>
<p>An actor in the group landed a role on Broadway and asked Sheen if he wanted his night gig pulling the curtain and setting up props for a play in repertory at the Living Theatre called <em>Tonight We Improvise</em>. "Then began," says Sheen, "a relationship with two of the best people in the human race, two of the first real Christians I've ever met, Julian Beck and Judith Malina. I spent three years at the Living Theatre. That's where I met Al Pacino. We worked together, cleaning toilets, sweeping, painting. We moved props for Allen Ginsberg and John Cage, all those wonderful, crazy people. I met Larry Rivers. The first time I ever got paid for acting was there, in a play called <em>Purgatory</em>, by William Butler Yeats. Five dollars.</p>
<p>"Everything was so exciting. Kennedy was trying for the White House. Dylan was just being heard from, the music was changing and you just knew things were not going to stand still. Here I was from Ohio and meeting all these weird people. I didn't know what a vegetarian was. I didn't know anything. I thought junk was garbage. I met Dorothy Day, the saint of all time, and started hanging out at the Catholic Worker."</p>
<p>In 1961, Sheen replaced Gary Goodrow in the role of Ernie in <em>The Connection</em> and went to London with the play. In 1963 he landed his first television role as an alcoholic wife beater in a segment of <em>East Side, West Side</em>, scarring George C. Scott. Sheen made his Broadway debut the following year in <em>Never Live Over a Pretzel Factory</em> and later that same year broke through, starring with Jack Albertson in <em>The Subject Was Roses</em>. He was nominated for a Tony.</p>
<p>It was at this point that his career began its curious twists and turns. Sheen acted in lots of episodic television: <em>The Defenders, Route 66, Medical Center, The Mod Squad</em> and <em>The FBI</em>, as well as playing a running part in the soap opera <em>As the World Turns</em>. He hooked up with Joseph Papp, appearing in many of his productions, including <em>Hamlet</em> and <em>Romeo and Juliet</em>. And in 1967 he made his first feature film, <em>The Incident</em>, in which he and Tony Musante played two drunken hoods who terrorize subway passengers. He later appeared in the screen version of <em>The Subject Was Roses</em> and played the small role of Lieutenant Dobbs in <em>Catch-22</em>.</p>
<p>By this time he'd married Janet Templeton, an art student at die New School. "I just adored her," says Sheen, "but she was pretty shitty to me. I had this long hair, no clothes, no money. I wasn't thinking about getting married so much. Actually," Sheen fidgets, "I was thinking about getting laid. That was uppermost in my mind. It is true. I had never had that experience — Janet was my first." He rolls his eyes. "I don't think she'll mind my saying that, do you? I was really happy about that. We went together, lived together for a year and then got married." He pauses. "Now, I am embarrassed."</p>
<p>Sheen was in this new, strange, exciting world, but his roots ran very deep. He faithfully attended Mass and his sense of outrage at injustice remained. He was offered a part in Bertolt Brecht's <em>Drums in the Night</em>, but quit when the director was, he felt, unjustly fired. The civil-rights movement was growing while Sheen was on Broadway in <em>The Subject Was Roses</em>, and he was deeply affected by it. He went to the general manager of the theater and suggested that they do a benefit performance for the civil-rights movement. The manager said fine, but that they really wouldn't make much money. Sheen went across the street to where Sammy Davis Jr. was starring in <em>Golden Boy</em> and got him involved, and then went up the street to where Barbra Streisand was knocking them dead in <em>Funny Girl</em> and got her aboard. The rest of Broadway soon followed. The result was a huge success, and the night of the benefit, Martin Luther King Jr. came backstage. Sheen desperately wanted to meet him. "I was stuck between these two people and he walked right by me." Sheen looks off. "I never got to meet him."</p>
<p>In 1972 Sheen, who was by then living in Malibu, reluctantly auditioned for yet another low-budget, independent film, Terrence Malick's <em>Badlands</em>. The part called for a nineteen-year-old, and Sheen was thirty-one and already gray. But something in his reading caught Malick's eye.</p>
<p>Recalls Sheen, "I was driving to the studio the next morning to shoot an episode of <em>Mannix</em>. The sun was just coming up and it was beautiful and suddenly Bob Dylan was on the radio singing 'Desolation Row' and I started to weep, so much so that I had to pull the car over. Suddenly I realized what Terry was doing, and I knew, I knew that he was going to make a classic film and I told him so. I told everyone. Hearing that song, I knew that I was going to be tapped." Sheen becomes more animated. "God, Dylan is a genius. I saw <em>Renaldo and Clara</em> twice in the same day and then went to see it again. The movie was sometimes confusing, but never boring. The critics, those sons of bitches, really clobbered him."</p>
<p>Sheen finished shooting <em>Mannix</em>, rushed to San Francisco to film the ABC movie <em>That Certain Summer</em> with Hal Holbrook, then flew back to L.A. Janet and the kids met him up at the airport and they headed for Colorado and <em>Badlands</em>. "From every standpoint, but financially," says Sheen, "<em>Badlands</em> was perfect. I wouldn't have touched one frame. I was terribly proud and excited and I thought it was going to be hugely successful." It wasn't, and Sheen was discouraged. This film, he felt, was his shot at becoming a star. His friends and contemporaries were making it and he wasn't. Dustin Hoffman, who replaced him in <em>The Subject Was Roses</em>, had made <em>The Graduate</em>. Al Pacino, with whom he had swept floors, had made <em>The</em> <em>Godfather</em>. Sheen went back to television, making films like <em>Catholics, The Execution of Private Slovik</em> and <em>The Missiles of October</em>. Each garnered good reviews, each predicted Sheen would be a star.</p>
<p>It is late and Sheen, his brother Joe, several members of the crew and I make our way to a local steak joint for dinner. There is a kid playing guitar and singing in the background. Sheen, who has not stopped eating all day, attacks his dinner like a man coming off a four-month fast. He is wound up tight, joking and laughing. Martin Sheen is a complicated man, at once childlike, mature, naive, worldly. And obsessive.</p>
<p>He is obsessed with religion and his own loss of faith. "He's angry with the Church," says his younger brother, actor Joe Sheen. "It did so much good and it caused so much pain."</p>
<p>He is obsessed with his family. Says his brother Michael, "I think my father struggling so hard to keep us together had a lot to do with all of us being so close and feeling responsible for one another. I think it's why Martin is so devoted to his own family."</p>
<p>He is obsessed with the inequities of the world. Gary Morgan tells how one day Sheen was walking past the lunch wagon on location when he saw some peas left on a plate. He ate them. "Marty," Morgan said to him, "I'll get you some peas," and all he did was point to the plates and the garbage can, saying, "Do you believe all the waste?"</p>
<p>In the Philippines Sheen became friendly with a local priest and through him set up a fund in memory of his father. He donated a percentage of his salary and each month sends money to keep the fund going. The first purchase — 5000 toothbrushes for the children.</p>
<p>"Martin," says Joe Sheen, "can get heavy at the drop of a hat. He needs people around him who are up all the time because he is so serious. He'll read about Angola in the morning paper and begin to cry. We will be talking and he goes off into his own little place. I just let him go. I used to take it as an insult, but now I just leave it. He feels responsible for everyone. People are always coming to him with problems and he gives them his money, his car, his home. When he was making <em>Apocalypse</em>, he was carrying a lot of people. He rented a house for his driver." Joe pauses. "But then, <em>Apocalypse</em> was a crazy madness. Martin paid a lot of penance for that film. Willard is symbolic of his life. Martin is such a lonely man."</p>
<p>And he's obsessed with acting. He loves his work and certainly has had a successful career. During one year alone he was offered seventeen different television series to star in. He has been nominated for one Tony and four Emmys, all of which he pulled out of. And now there is talk of an Oscar. "I don't believe in them," he says. "They put actors in competition with each other. Leave that to athletes and politicians. I mean, how can a De Niro, who was perfectly brilliant in <em>The</em> <em>Deerhunter</em>, be a loser? How can Gary fucking Busey, in his magnificent performance in <em>The Buddy Holly Story</em>, be a loser? I won't join the Academy. Fuck that horseshit."</p>
<p>Sheen may eschew awards, but those close to him say he is frustrated and wants recognition — wants to be a star and is really banking on <em>Apocalypse Now</em> to do that. Maybe it will.</p>
<p>Like most of his performances, Sheen's work in <em>Apocalypse</em> <em>Now</em> is wonderfully considered, thoughtful, not in the least fly-by-night. But as gifted and talented as he is. Sheen hasn't blown us away — yet. It is curious. Like the faceless narrators that writers have to put in bad novels to keep them going, he's always there but you never really notice him. It is almost as if he doesn't expect people to remember him.</p>
<p>The singer in the background starts playing a Bob Dylan song. Sheen sings along and invites the kid to join us. He had been in a special-forces unit in Vietnam and has had a rough time since. Suddenly, click goes the switch and Sheen gets intense. "Where are Goldwater and the rest of those sons of bitches now? Why aren't Monsanto, Du Pont, Chrysler hiring the vet?" This goes on for about forty-five minutes, and then we all get up to leave. Sheen finishes the leftover desserts.</p>
<p>The next day we go to a cookout at Bob Huffman's house. Huffman is a navy pilot and he and Sheen have become friends. Sheen is excited and buys two water-melons and three bags of potato chips to take along. Earlier, Sheen had been uncomfortable at the admiral's party, but this will be fun.</p>
<p>The cookout is rolling along and Sheen is really up. He talks about Coppola. "I have a lot of mixed feelings about Francis. I am very fond of him personally. The thing I love about him most is that he never, like a good general, asked you to do anything he wouldn't do. He was right there with us, lived there in the shit and mud up to his ass, suffered the same diseases, ate the same food. I don't think he realizes how tough he is to work for. God, is he tough. But I will sail with that son of a bitch anytime. There is only one other director I would go that far with, and that's Terry Malick. You bet your ass. I won't get to work with a Malick or a Coppola too many times in my life and, my God, I consider it an honor. I took some bumps. I just wish I had been about ten years younger.</p>
<p>"Eventually everyone has to eat some shit, and Francis, if he's going to eat shit, at least it is going to be of his own making. He has such tenacity and I love that about the guy. I hope he breaks the bank on this one. Why the hell not? You'd rather give the money to some special-effects shark or some asshole swatting planes in the sky or some guy who flies? No. I'd rather deal with a moral question any day. This is the first war movie made that is a trip inside a man's head. We have such a short period of time here, and there are two things I have accomplished in my professional life: <em>Badlands</em> and <em>Apocalypse Now</em>. If my grandchildren get interested in what I did, I'll show them these."</p>
<p>The party is in full swing now and Sheen is way up, fooling around with the kids, posing for pictures with the neighbors. Suddenly he becomes quiet, almost sad, and the next minute he has disappeared. No one knows where he has gone and he doesn't come back.</p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063940
2017-08-05T17:00:00-07:00
2018-01-06T07:28:35-08:00
Boy Howdy: Mary Lucia's ode to Creem Magazine
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5dcc0cf6d39477d62445d78b39b8d097311c1043/original/creem-magazine-boy-howdy-logo.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEzMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="130" width="600" /></p>
<p>originally posted on <a href="https://www.thecurrent.org/feature/2016/07/19/boy-howdy-mary-lucia-ode-to-creem-magazine?WT.mc_id=fe06e91cf5f740d85555c9d93636e145" target="_blank" data-imported="1">The Current</a> July 19, 2016</p>
<p>I love books, but man, do I LOVE rock magazines. My mail carrier most likely hates my guts.</p>
<p>Growing up, copies of <em>Rolling Stone, Trouser Press, NY Rocker, Spin</em> and <em>Creem</em> magazines were littered across the family coffee table. I'd catch heat every time I tore out pages with photos of Bowie, Joe Perry, Debbie Harry or The Clash to adorn my bedroom walls. All the rest of the dirtbags in the family felt they should have the magazine intact to peruse before I got to my adolescent ripping and shrine-building.</p>
<p><em>Creem</em>, self anointed as "America's Only Rock N' Roll Magazine," was a snotty, Midwest answer to <em>Rolling Stone.</em> It was founded in Detroit in 1969 by Barry Kramer, who owned a record store called Full Circle. Kramer decided to publish his own paper when a local alt magazine refused to print a concert review he had written. Tony Reay, who had been a clerk at the record store, became the first editor; it was Reay who named the publication after his favorite band, Cream.</p>
<p>Distribution at first was modest, despite the fact that many copies of the magazine were ordered by porn shops who were confused by the fairly suggestive title, displaying it next to <em>Screw</em> magazine. Giving massive exposure to artists like Lou Reed, New York Dolls, David Bowie and Roxy Music years before mainstream press caught on, <em>Creem</em> was among the first national publications to cover Detroit-area artists such as Mitch Ryder, Alice Cooper, The MC5, The Stooges and Parliament Funkadelic.</p>
<p>Lester Bangs, who is often called "America's greatest rock critic," became editor of <em>Creem</em> in 1971 after having been fired from rival music magazine <em>Rolling Stone</em> by publisher Jann Wenner for "disrespecting musicians" after a particularly harsh review of the group Canned Heat. Honestly, how "disrespectful" can one be when reviewing a band in which the lead singer's voice sounds like a singing sock puppet?</p>
<p>Bangs began a love relationship with Detroit calling it "rock's only hope." The same year Bangs joined the <em>Creem</em> asylum, the term "punk rock" was coined by columnist Dave Marsh. I'm sure that's a debatable claim to fame, but I'd rather be the dude who takes credit for "punk rock" than whoever came up with the term "foodie."</p>
<p>The writers were never afraid to knock bands down a few pegs; in fact, many considered it their duty. Being huge fans of rock 'n' roll in its most primal form, the writers felt a genuine sense of offense when the phonies of the rock world started buying into their own hyped-up bullshit. Prog rock? You didn't stand a chance with these peeps.</p>
<p>Done with irreverent humor and a self-deprecating attitude, <em>Creem</em> clearly informed a lot of people's sensibilities. The magazine became famous for its comical photo captions, which poked fun at bloated rock stars, the industry and even the magazine itself.</p>
<p><img src="http://images.publicradio.org/content/2016/07/19/20160719_boy-howdy-simulated-lcd-screen_45.jpg" class="size_orig justify_right border_" alt="" />The "Boy Howdy" iconic design was drawn by cartoonist Robert Crumb who was reportedly paid 50 bucks for it. In every following issue after December 1971, musicians were photographed for the "Creem's Profiles" features holding cans of "Boy Howdy" beer.</p>
<p>In the 1980s, <em>Creem</em> led the pack on coverage of upcoming bands such as The B-52's, R.E.M., The Replacements, The Smiths and The Cure. It also brazenly sung the devil-horned praises of metal bands like Motörhead, Judas Priest, Van Halen and Kiss.</p>
<p>Changes in ownership of the magazine and a relocation to Los Angeles, as well as a few key players dying of drug overdoses, saw the publication eventually fold in 1989.</p>
<p>But now there is a <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1243182560/boy-howdy-the-story-of-creem-magazine" target="_blank" data-imported="1">Kickstarter campaign</a> to help fund a <em>Creem</em> Magazine film documentary that is in the works. For the love of all of the seriously cool uncool rock geeks sitting home on Saturday night listening to Houses of The Holy in their jammies, please consider throwing a few bucks at this.</p>
<p>I'm sure the staffers alive and dead would give you the middle finger of gratitude.</p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063939
2017-06-30T17:00:00-07:00
2017-11-27T08:40:44-08:00
The original photo used on Ministry's Land of Rape & Honey album cover (and the story behind it)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a27ea4c2f9268df2bfa6924391ee0652bd134061/original/original-photo-used-on-ministrys-land-of-rape-honey-album-cover.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p>The album cover is an electronically processed image of a burned corpse in the <strong>Leipzig-Thekla subcamp of Buchenwald</strong>. <sup id="cite_ref-7"></sup>Jourgensen took a picture of the holocaust from a documentary on television and distorted the image himself. It was originally rejected by the record label but they later changed their mind after Jourgensen presented a head of a roadkilled deer he had found on the road. He cut off the head, put it in his truck, drove from Austin to Los Angeles, went into the Sire Records building, threw the deer on the desk of the head of the art department and said, <em id="mwEg">"<strong>here's your new fucking [album] cover</strong>".</em><sup id="cite_ref-8"><a href="https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/The_Land_of_Rape_and_Honey.html#cite_note-8" data-imported="1"><br></a></sup></p>
<p><em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fac2d45b9916df8676d24dbff658e1022ca986a4/original/ministry-land-of-rape-honey-album-cover.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="505" width="600" /></em></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063938
2017-06-13T17:00:00-07:00
2017-11-08T06:51:29-08:00
Happiness Is A Warm Jet (NME Brian Eno article by Nick Kent)
<p class="bold" align="justify"><strong>New Musical Express</strong> <strong>OCTOBER 13, 1973 - by Nick Kent</strong></p>
<p class="bold" align="justify"><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/696281fd269d25492e6563b607e8ef7c4276a3a9/original/eno-here-come-the-warm-jets-back-cover.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUxNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="515" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p class="bold" align="justify">Being an account of the latest recorded work of <strong>Mr. Brian Eno</strong>, late of Roxy Music, and featuring <strong>Blank Frank</strong>, friend of the Massive Mario.</p>
<p align="justify">Clapham, that exotic part of town where folk of differing creed and colour mingle suitably inebriated with natural joie de vivre, will soon gain immortality not merely because yours sincerely has taken up residence within its sacred borders but also because it has set the scene for some of the more intriguing music-weaving to take place of late throughout the recording studios of London.</p>
<p align="justify">Down at Majestic Studios, just round the corner from the bingo hall, <strong>Brian Eno</strong>, that zany purveyor of wit and sparkle, has set about the completion of his awesome solo album project.</p>
<p align="justify">Up in Studio 2, surrounded by such diverse tacky objets d'art as a saw hung on the wall beside a speaker and a number of fake potted palm trees, <strong>Eno</strong> is leaping around like a dervish setting up the tracks for a song called either <span class="song">Blank Frank</span> or <span class="song">Friend Of The Massive Massimo</span> or <span class="song">Blank Frank, Friend Of The Massive Massimo</span>, aided and abetted by Simon King, drummer of Hawkwind, Bill MacCormick, bass player of Matching Mole, and two engineers.</p>
<p align="justify">A basic track has already been laid down using rhythm-box, primitive <strong>Enoid</strong> guitar thrashing and one of the most demented guitar solos ever to be conceived in a respectable recording studio.</p>
<p align="justify">The person responsible for the latter piece of wizardry is no less than <strong>Robert Fripp</strong>, whose studious fingers are performing arguably their most dynamic work to date on these sessions, away from the self-imposed restrictions of King Crimson.</p>
<p align="justify"><strong><span class="song">Blank Frank</span></strong> is in fact quite a masterpiece. Bo Diddley meets Ghengis Khan with backwards guitars, a Fellini-type fairground organ sound manically chiming in half-way through and changing the whole track completely, and ethnic Javanese clapping.</p>
<p align="justify">Above all this inspired mayhem our hero is heard to chant with machete-like precision ominous tidings about <strong>Blank Frank</strong> being the messenger of one's doom and destruction and how the aforementioned's skill is disposed in leaving bombs in people's driveways.</p>
<p align="justify">If you consider that to be "un peu bizarre" then get an earful of <strong><span class="song">Baby's On Fire</span></strong>, which sounds warped and extremely perverse, complete with more tortured Fripp guitar-picking and the quaint chorus about how baby's on fire and it's necessary to throw him in the water.</p>
<p align="justify">Or <strong><span class="song">Here Come The Warm Jets</span></strong>, a more conventional piece which sounds like a 1970s equivalent of <span class="song">Telstar</span>. "It's about pissing," stated Eno with no small measure of pride. Of interest to Eno afficionados, the maestro plays the guitar that he was photographed posing with on the cover of For Your Pleasure.</p>
<p align="justify">It was less than three days after I'd visited young Brian at the studio that I was informed he had collapsed from exhaustion and malnutrition, and been banished to hospital.</p>
<p align="justify">Publicist Simon Puxley muttered earnestly that his acolyte was suffering from numerous traumas based on his lack of rest. "He needs someone to take care of him," quoth the Pux.</p>
<p align="justify">A stout-hearted fellow like <strong>Brian Eno</strong> forced into a state of collapse through lack of care and attention? Preposterous, I though. And, jiggers, my contention was right, for not long afterwards I discovered <strong>Eno</strong> working away steadfastly at Advision studios with arch-looner Lloyd Watson.</p>
<p align="justify">"I thought it was very amusing when I read in big letters '<strong>Eno Collapse - Malnutrition</strong>.'"</p>
<p align="justify">So what actually happened?</p>
<p align="justify">"Well I was in the studio one night and I went to sit down on what I thought was a chair situated directly behind me, and then discovered that the chair in fact wasn't there."</p>
<p align="justify">Oh!</p>
<p align="justify"><strong>Eno</strong> was busy listening to Lloyd Watson's slide guitar embellishments on <strong><span class="song">Some Of Them Are Old</span></strong>, a slow number built around a tune not unlike that gracing Buddy Holly's <span class="song">Raining In My Heart</span> but made more stately by an intricate Andy MacKay saxophone arrangement.</p>
<p align="justify">"It's my least favourite track, at the moment," he muttered nonchalantly before animatedly reciting some of the already-recorded goodies.</p>
<p align="justify">Of particular merit is <strong><span class="song">Dead Finks Don't Talk</span></strong> on which he's backed by a couple of The Sharks and Paul Thompson on drums. The pianistics and bass-playing are quite superb, as are the lyrics - which are all about how being a zombie takes such dedication, and other pressing matters.</p>
<p align="justify"><strong><span class="song">Needles In The Camel's Eye</span></strong> features Velvet Underground guitar thrashing synthesized through a metal gauze of sound. Possibly the most commercial number of all those recorded so far and the probable choice for a single.</p>
<p align="justify"><strong><span class="song">On Some Faraway Beach</span></strong> is yer olde wistful ballad, with strange chords and even stranger lyrics.</p>
<p align="justify">By the time you read this, the album, the title of which is tentatively <strong>Here Come The Warm Jets</strong>, should have been completed. Eleven or twelve tracks are expected to be present, including <strong><span class="song">Driving Me Backwards</span></strong>, <span class="song">Trunk</span> and <strong><span class="song">The Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch</span></strong>.</p>
<p align="justify">If all goes as well as it should do, the finished product should not only vindicate <strong>Eno</strong> from being yoked under his current image - that of just another outrageous poseur possessing little talent - but also stand out as one of the very few truly creative projects in rock to appear in a long time.</p>
<p align="justify">As I left the studio, Eno was writing out makeshift lyrics for <strong>Needles In The Camel's Eye</strong> - "All the best lyrics are written in ten minutes. Ha, I'll show you, Roxy Music!"</p>
<p align="justify"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a679e6443685db08e03bb562a6a6baae5b97ab43/original/eno-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="600" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063937
2017-05-01T17:00:00-07:00
2017-11-08T06:35:18-08:00
Prince: Strange Tales from Andre’s Basement… and other fantasies come true
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/62db2045d2cd25bc3a092c111e6a615d7585de75/original/prince-strange-tales-from-andres-basement.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p><strong>Musician Magazine - September 1983</strong></p>
<p>Sure he’s a weird kid. For Prince Rogers Nelson, a man whom Henry Miller and Howard Hughes are undoubtedly behavioral models, the two S’s of sex and secrecy are paramount. His reluctance to talk to the press is well established and his role as a beacon of sexual controversy is past legendary. Jimi Hendrix may have helped open the floodgates when he asked an innocent generation, “Are you experienced?” But Prince didn’t have to ask. His sexual excesses in a dank, dark Minneapolis basement with his confident and companion Andre Cymone and a host of neighborhood girls shaped the values of his earliest songs and mirrored the experiences and insecurity of a liberated generation.</p>
<p>His first albums were full of funky innuendo. <em>For You</em> established him as a poetic prince of love, with a mission to spread a sexy message here on earth—a message reinforced by his “special thanks to God” credit on the LP’s jacket. Prince had heard the call, all right, but it wasn’t the Lord’s sermon that he was preaching, and with his next album, <em>Dirty Mind</em>, he catapulted out of the closet and into the public eye as a raunchy prophet of porn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That album established Prince in rock critical circles as a truly special case. He created his own musical world in which heavy-metal guitars crashed into synth-funk rhythms, where rockabilly bounced off rapid punk tempos, all of it riding under lyrical themes of incest, lost love, sexual discovery and oral gratification. It was then that I became interested in talking to this elusive boy genius.</p>
<p>His concerts that fall had been a hot, erotic blast of wind through the chilly Northeast, and I was primed to meet a proper, swaggering conqueror — “The leader of a pack in a brave new world without rules or categories or any limitations,” as Boston critic Ariel Swartley had extravagantly described him. What I found facing me that sleepy-eyed morning was shockingly different: A man-child in the promised land. Despite the studded trenchcoat, the leather jock bikini and the blatant bare chest, he was a shy and unsure creature, small, and just as elusive.</p>
<p></p>
<p>The interview became a lengthy excursion into Prince’s pained past and through songs that had a purpose beyond the titillating of fantasies, as I was soon to learn. Prince’s preoccupation, disclosed between the lines of the interview, was loneliness, which in the world had become painfully interwoven with sexuality. His own childhood was something else. Multiracial, one of nine children of a hard-working Italian mother and a half-black father—a struggling musician who was mostly absent during his youth—Prince was a veteran of foster homes and a chronic runaway.</p>
<p></p>
<p>At the time of our interview, he was proud and hurt, contemplating ending interviews altogether. He communicated with the gravity of a crestfallen child, speaking in short grudging bursts of words that nevertheless revealed a great deal more than he wanted anyone to know. At the end of our long visit, he gave an eloquent summation: “That was the longest I’ve ever talked,” he said with a child’s awe. He gave me an uncertain grin and, as he trudged off into the New York rain, wobbling a bit on his high-heeled cobra boots, I liked him immediately and had the feeling that Prince would survive his current bout with success.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, that was kind of a put-on. . . I wanted to put it out there that way and in time show people that’s <em>not</em> what sex was about. You can say a bad word over and over again and sooner or later it won’ t be bad anymore if everybody starts doing it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Are songs like “Head” and “Sister” serious or satiric?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>“Sister“ is serious. “Head” could be taken as satire. No one’s laughing when I’m saying it so I don’t know. If people get enjoyment out of it and laugh, that’s fine. All the stuff on the record is true experiences and things that have occurred around me and the way I feel about things. I wasn’t laughing when I did it so I don’t suppose it was intended that way.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That’s why I stopped doing interviews. I started and I stopped abruptly because of that. People weren’t taking me seriously and I was being misunderstood. Everything I said they didn’t believe anyway. They didn’t believe my name. They didn’t believe anything.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Your father’s stage name was Prince Rogers. Was that his real name?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>That wasn’t his real name. He made it up.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>And what’s your last name? Is it Nelson?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t know.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Your point about being misunderstood is kind of important. We should try and be as straight as possible with each other so I know that what you’re saying is being interpreted correctly.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Okay. I tell the truth about everything but my last name. I just hate it. I know how it’s just the name that he had to go through life with, and he hated it too. So that’s why he gave me this name and that’s why he changed his when he went onstage. I just don’t like it and I just really would rather not have it out. It’s just a stupid name that means nothing to my ancestry, my father and what he was about.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Was your father very much there when you were growing up?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, up until the time I was seven he was very much there. Then he was very much away. Then I went to live with him once. . . I ran away the first time when I was twelve. And then he worked two jobs. He worked a day job and then he worked downtown playing behind strippers. So he was away and I didn’t see him much then, only while he was shaving or something like that. We didn’t talk so much then.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did he have any feelings about you being a musician? Was he a supportive person?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t think so because he didn’t think I was very good. I didn’t really think so either. When I finally got a band together he used to come and watch us play every once in a while. But he finds it really hard to show emotion. I find that true of most men and it’s kind of a drag, but. . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Is your father a good musician? What does he play?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Piano. The reason he’s good is that he’s totally… he can’t stand any music other than his. He doesn’t listen to anybody. And he’s really strange. He told me one time that he has dreams where he’d see a keyboard in front of his eyes and he’d see his hands on the keyboard and he’d hear a melody. And he can get up and it can be like 4: 30 a.m. and he can walk right downstairs to his piano and play the melody. And to me that’s amazing because there’s no work involved really; he’s just given a gift in each song. He never comes out of the house unless it’s to get something to eat and he goes right back in and he plays all the time. His music. . .one day I hope you’ ll get to hear it. It’s just—it sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How did you get into music? Where were you? What were you doing?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I was at home living with my mother and my sister, and he had just gone and left his piano. He didn’t allow anybody to play it when he was there because we would just bang on it. So once he left then I started doing it because nobody else would. Every thing was cool I think, until my father left, and then it got kinda hairy. My step-dad came along when I was nine or ten, and I disliked him immediately, because he dealt with a lot of materialistic things. He would bring us a lot of presents all the time, rather than sit down and talk with us and give us companionship. I got real bitter because of that, and I would say all the things that I disliked about him, rather than tell him what I really needed. Which was a mistake, and it kind of hurt our relationship.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I don’ t think they wanted me to be a musician. But I think it was mainly because of my father, who disliked the idea that he was a musician, and it really broke up their life. I think that’s why he probably named me what he named me, it was like a blow to her—”He’s gonna grow up the same way, so don’t even worry about him.” And that’s exactly what I did. I was about thirteen when I moved away. I didn’t really realize other music until I had to. And that was when I got my own band and we had to play top forty songs. Anything that was a hit, didn’t matter who it was. We played every thing because they were mainly things that I wanted to go on, not things that were going on. Which is different from what I write about now.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Do you feel a strong identification with anything . . . anybody?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No. I think society says if you’ve got a little black in you that’s what you are. I don’t.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>When you moved away, did you move in with your father?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, that was when I went to live with my aunt, also in Minneapolis, because I couldn’t stay at my father’s. And my father wouldn’t get me a piano, it was too much or whatever, so . . . he got me a guitar. I didn’t learn to play the guitar <em>right</em> way, because I tuned it to a straight A chord so it was really strange. When I first started playing guitar, I just did chords and things like that, and I didn’t really get into soloing and all that until later, when I started making records. I can’t think of any foremost great guitarist that stuck in my mind. It was just solos on records, and it was just dumb stuff; I hated top forty. Everybody in the band hated it. It was what was holding us back. And we were trying to escape it. But we had to do it to make enough money to make demo tapes.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How’d you get to Andre Cymone’s cellar?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Andre Cymone’s house was the last stop after going from my dad’s to my aunt’s, to different homes and going through just a bunch of junk . And once I got there, I had realized that I was going to have to play according to the program, and do exactly what was expected of me. And I was sixteen at the time, getting ready to turn seventeen.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Were you still in high school?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mm-hm. And, that was another problem. I wasn’t doing well in school, and I was going to have to. Otherwise the people around me were going to get very upset. I could come in anytime I wanted, I could have girls spend the night, and it didn’t make a difference. I think it had a great deal to do with me coming out into my own, and discovering myself. I mean, the music was interesting at that time, once I got out of high school. And I got out of high school early, when I was like sixteen.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did you finish?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. Because I got all the required credits. And that’s relatively early. In about two and a half years, or something like that. It was pretty easy and stupid. To this day, I don’t use anything that they taught me. Get your jar, and dissect frogs and stuff like that.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How’d you support yourself?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, that was the problem. Once I got out of high school it was interesting for a while because I didn’t have any money, I didn’t have any school, and I didn’t have any dependents, I didn’t have any kids , or girlfriends, or any thing. I had cut myself off totally from everything. And that’s when I really started writing. I was writing like three or four songs a day. And, they were all really long. Which is interesting for me as a writer, because it’s hard to jus t take a thought, and continue it for a long period of time without losing it. And it’s harder for me now to write than it was back then, because there’s so many people around me now. I wrote a lot of sexual songs back then, but they were mainly things that I wanted to go on, not things that <em>were </em>going on. Which is different from what I write about now.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em><em>You mean, what you were writing about then was just a fantasy of women?<br></em><br></em><strong>PRINCE: </strong>All fantasies, yeah. Because I didn’t have anything around me. . . there were no people. No anything. When I started writing, I cut myself off from relationships with women.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em><em>Did you ever have a relationship?</em></em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Several solid relationships (laughs). When you’re broken, and poor and hungry, you usually try to find friends who are gonna help you out.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Who are rich and things?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. And successful. And have a lot of food in their fridge. I don’t know.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em><em>Did you ever do anything that you’re embarrassed about?</em></em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mmm. . . no. . . well. . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Were you doing drugs?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No. One thing that turned me off to that was seeing my brother get high. At first we all thought it was funny, but then I started asking him questions and he couldn’t answer ’em, you know. So I felt it was kinda stupid. And I didn’t want my mind all cloudy at any time, because I always felt. . . I don’t know, maybe it was a basic paranoia or something about me, but I didn’t want anybody sneaking up behind me, and doing me in, or taking my money, or tricking me in any way. So I never wanted to get high.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How does Andre Cymone fit into all of this? Was he there at the beginning, and then you went to New York and came back. and resumed the friendship?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well. what happened was. before I went to New York we lost our friendship, because he was in the band with me at the time, and I asked them all what they wanted to do, “Do you want to stay here, or do you want to go to New York?” And Andre didn’t speak up, but everyone else was against it. No one wanted to do it. They liked their lifestyle, I guess. I don’t think they really liked the idea of me trying to manipulate the band so much. I was always trying to get us to do something different, and I was always teamed up on for that. Like, in an argument or something like that, or a fight, or whatever. . . it was always me against them. That ’s when I wrote “Soft And Wet.” which was the first single I put out. I really liked the tune. but everyone thought it was filthy, and “you didn’t have no business doing stuff without us, anyway.” I just did what I wanted to. And that was it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>When did you realize that?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>When I was in Andre ’s basement. I found out a lot about myself then. The only reason I stayed was because of Andre ’s mother. She would let me do anything I wanted to, but she said all I care about is you finishing school. <em>Anything</em>.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How much can you do in a basement?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, it depends on how many people are there’ (laughs) You know, one time she came down and saw a lot of us down there, and we weren’t all dressed, and stuff like that. It kind of tripped her out. and we got into a semi-argument, and whatever, but it was. . . you know. . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Was the scene back then in the basement a heterosexual scene? Was it homosexual?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No, everything was heterosexual. I didn’t know any homosexuals, no. There was one guy who walked around in women’s clothes, but we didn’t know <em>why</em> he did it, we just thought it was funny, and that was that. Some things don’t dawn on you for a long time. And now I hear, like . . . Minneapolis is supposed to be like . . . the third largest gay city in the country, or whatever. Huge.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Were you ready for New York when you came?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. I was ready for anything . I felt disgusted with my life in Minneapolis.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>What’d you do when you got here? Did you know you were gonna live with your sister?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mm-hm. When I called her and told her what had happened, she said, well come here and I’ll help you. And I came. She had a great personality. You know , all my friends were girls , okay? I didn’t have any male friends, because they were just cheap, all of ’em were just cheap, so I knew then that if she used her personality and her sensitivity she could get us a deal. That didn’t mean going to bed with anybody, it just meant that. . . you know, use your charm rather than trying to go in there and be this man, because you’re<em> not</em>.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And then my sister was introduced to this one guy who had a band. And, I don’t know how she got this, but it was really cool. She ended up talking to this guy and found out everything he did, and found out that he had a demo and he was gonna take it to this woman named Danielle. And he was gonna try to get his band signed to her. So we all went together, and she said, “Can my little brother come in?” And she said sure. So we were all sitting there, and Danielle said, “Alright, put your tape on.” So he put on the tape of his band. That tape was pretty terrible, and Danielle said so, and the guy started making excuses, saying, “Well, that’s not the real guitar player, <em>or</em> the real singers, so don’t worry about it.” And she said, “Well, why did you bring a tape that doesn’t have the real musicians? “<br></p>
<p></p>
<p>Then my sister started telling Danielle about me and finally she asked me to sing. And I said no (laughs). And she said. “Why not?” And I said, “Because I’m scared. “ And she said. “You don’t have to be scared.” And they turned the lights down, and it was really strange.<br></p>
<p></p>
<p>That same day I had just written “Baby,” and I didn’t really have it all together, but I sang the melody and she really liked my voice. She said, “I don’t care what you do, just hum, because I just want to hear you sing.” So that’s what I did, just started singing and humming, and making up words and really stupid stuff.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Were you singing in your upper register then?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I only sang like that back then because, I don ’t know. . . it hurt. . . it hurt my voice to sing in the lower register. I couldn’t make it, I couldn’t peak songs the way I wanted to, and things like that, so I never used it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Oh! I would think it would hurt losing in a falsetto.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, not for me. I wish it was that way, but. . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did Danielle sign you to a contract?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, she wanted to start working with me immediately. Nevertheless, this guy was pretty upset that he didn’t get his band in there. He and my sister fell out right away, but she didn’t care. And that’s what I dug about her. So I talked with Danielle, and she told me to come over to her apartment. She was very beautiful, too, which made everything a lot easier, I remember that about her. And she made me bring all my songs, and we went through ’em all, and she didn’t like any of ’em.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>None of them? Not even “Soft And Wet”?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>None. Except for “ Baby.” She wanted me to do “Baby “ with a lot of orchestration, symphony, strings. and. . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How’d that sound to you?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I didn’t care. You know. I was cool with it. All I wanted to do was play a couple of instruments on it and let it say on the album that I played something. And she said no, unless I could play better than the session guy, which I didn’t think I could do if a guy was gonna sit there and read the chart, and I was going to get aced out right away. So that materialized. Anyway. . . after I finished that, that’s when me and my sister kinda had a dispute.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>About what?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mainly money. I had nothing; I was running up sort of a bill there, at her place, and she wanted me to sell my publishing for like $380 or something like that—which I thought was kinda foolish. And I kept telling her that I could get my own publishing company. I didn’t care about money. I just didn’t care about money. And, I don’t know, I never have, because. . . the one time I did have it was when my step-dad lived there, and I know I was extremely bitter then.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>And did you have to go back to Minneapolis?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I didn’t <em>have</em> to, which was nice. Danielle knew this was gonna happen sooner or later. It’s was all really interesting to me back then, and I kind of would have liked to have seen what would have happened if she had managed me.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>What</em> did <em>happen? Why didn’t she?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, when I got back to Minneapolis, that’s when I first met Owen Husney. I had been talking to him over the phone, and all he kept saying was that he thought I was really great, and that . . . .</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Was Owen big time then? Was he a big -time kind of promoter, or manager?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mmm. He had promoted some gigs, but he was working mainly in his ad company. And he wanted to manage an act. The main thing he said was that no one should produce a record of mine—<em>I</em> should do it. And, I still had a deal with Danielle if I wanted it, but something about him saying that to me made me think that was the way to go so I told her that I was going to college.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Was Danielle somebody that you had a relationship with?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Mm-mm. It was only. . . it was only mind games. I mean, we’d look at one another and. . . play games, but it wasn’t. . . we never said anything.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Um. . . when you came back and started working with Owen, what did he do? Did he get the contract for you with Warner Bros.?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Owen believed in me, he really did. First of all, nobody believed I could play all the instruments.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How many instruments did you play?<br></em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, on the demo tapes I didn’t play too many—I played drums, keyboards, bass and guitars, percussion and vocals; but when I did my album, I did tons of things. Some body counted and said I had played twenty-seven on the first album. Different ones, but I don’t know, I never count things (laughs). Because the quantity is. . . people put so much emphasis on that. It’s about the quality, and what it sounds like.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>It must have been a battle with the record company to produce and arrange.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, I got a couple offers and the only difference between Warner Bros. and the others was that they didn’t want to let me do production, they didn’t want to let me plan anything on the records. Warners had a lot of problems with it at first but Owen was fighting for control for me. They made me do a demo tape. So I did it, and they said that’ s pretty good. Do another one, and so I did another one. Then they said, “Okay, we can produce your album.” And they waited a week to call me back and they said I couldn’t. I had to go through that process a few more times. Then finally they said okay. It was kind of frustrating at first but I got used to it.</p>
<p></p>
<p>To some degree in the earlier days I was listening to Owen and the company. I didn’t want to create any waves because I was brand new, and stuff like that. But now I feel that I’m going to have to do exactly what’s on my mind and be exactly the way I am. Otherwise sooner or later down the road I’m going to be in a corner sucking my thumb or something. I don’t want to lose it. I just want to do what I’m really about.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did you know what you wanted to do when you started out? When you got that contract with Warner Bros., and they said to go into the studio and do it?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I had an idea, but it was really vague, and I think that had to do with, at least, having such a big budget. It was really big-over $100,000. You’re supposed to go in and do an album for $60,000. But I went in and kept going, and kept going and kept going. I got in a lot of trouble for it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How much time did you spend in the studio?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Hours. Hours. I was a physical wreck when I finished the record… it took me five months to do the first one. I’m proud of it, in the sense that it’s mistake-free, and it’s perfect. And it’s… that’s the problem with it, you know. But it wasn’t really me, it was like a machine. You know, I walked in, and I was sleepy all the time. I didn’t really feel like recording for eighty percent of the record. But I did it anyway, because, by the time I had gotten close to $100,000, it was like, you know, you were going to have to do something <em>great</em>. So, by that time, I didn’t want to make any mistakes. The relationship between me and the executive producer that they assigned with me was horrifying.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did Warner Bros. ever look as if they were just going to wash their hands of the whole thing, or were they committed?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No, I don’t think so, because I owed them too much money.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>They had to stick with you, so you could pay off.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. At least three albums. And I didn’t want to do anything like interviews or touring. I was being real stubborn and bull-headed, and Owen didn’t realize how to get it out of me, and make me stop. And, I don’t know, our friendship died slowly after that. It just got strange.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How did you get the whole act together? When did you get a band and decide to go on the road?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, the band came right before I did the second album (<em>For You</em>).</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>What happened when you went back to Minneapolis. . . first, after New York, and then, after you had actually recorded? Were you treated very differently? I mean, this was big time with Warner Bros., for sure.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. The same people who told me I wasn’t gonna be anything, treated me with a lot more respect now. And it made me a much better person. It took a lot of bitterness out of me. Because that’s all I really wanted; I didn’t want the respect so much as I wanted friends hip, real friendship. That’s all that counts to me. And I tell my band members the same thing now. I mean, you have to learn to deal with me on an up-front level, or else, you know, it’s dead. I don’t want people around me who don’t do that.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Has your music changed much since then?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I think I change constantly, because I can hear the music changing. The other day I put my first three albums on and listened to the difference. And I know why I don’t sound like that anymore. Because things that made sense to me and things that I liked then I don’t like anymore. The way I played music, just the way I was in love a lot back then when I used to make those records. And love meant more to me then-but now I realize that people don ’t always tell you the truth, you know? I was really gullible back then. I believed in everybody around me. I believed in Owen, I believed in Warner Bros., I believed in everybody. If someone said something good to me, I believed it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>And it was reflected in your music?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong><em>Yeah, I think so. It was….</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>More romantic?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. And I felt good when I was singing back then. The things I do now, I feel anger sometimes when I sing, and I can hear the difference. I’m screaming more now than I used to. And things like that. I think it’s just me. It also has to do with the instrumentation. It has nothing to do with trying to change styles or anything. Plus, I’m in a different environment; I see New York a little bit more. In my subconscious I’m influenced by the sinisterness of it, you know, the power. I hear sirens all the time, things like that. It’s not like that in Minneapolis. If you ever go there you’ll see it’s real laid back: real quiet, and you have to make your own action. I think a lot of warped people come out of there. My friends. I know a lot of warped girls, okay? Warped to me means they see things differently than I would, I suppose. They talk a lot. They talk a lot about nothing. But I mean heavy. They get into it like you wouldn’t believe. I mean, we could get into an hour-long conversation about my pants. You know, why they’re so tight, or something, do you know what I mean?</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Well, why are they tight?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t know (laughs). I don’t know. Because I want them to be. I just like the way they look.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did Warner Bros. flinch when you put “Head” on the third record?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>They flinched at just about everything (laughs ).</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>I wanted to ask you about the cover of </em>Dirty Mind<em>. How was that done?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>We were just fooling around, and we were jamming at the time. It was summertime, and we were having fun. And that’s what I had on. But my coat was closed, so the photographer didn’t know. I was with some friends and…</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Does everyone in Minneapolis just walk around with bikini underpants?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>(laughs ) No. But, see. . . l don’t know. I mean. . . once. . . I mean, if you’ve got a big coat on. I mean, who knows what he has on? I mean, it was hot out. Everybody was saying, why you got that hot coat on? I’d say, I’m really not that hot. (laughs) And they ’d say, you gotta be.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>l bet you flash.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No. Not in. . . it depends on who it is. But, we were just jamming and stuff like that, and he didn’t know that’s what I had on. And so, he was taking pictures and I happened to open my coat for one, just as a joke, you know? He said, wow. Like that. And, wel( see: I used to wear that onstage.)</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong>H<em>ow’d you pick that image of yourself? Where did it come from?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, I used to wear leotards and Danskins and stuff, because our stage show is really athletic and I wanted something comfortable. And my management said, “You have to at least start wearing underwear, because. . . . “</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>You weren’t wearing any </em>underwear<em>?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No. Kind of gross. So I said, okay, and started wearing underwear.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>What kind of friends were you hanging with?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Prostitutes. Pimps. Drug dealers. Really bad people and preachers ’ daughters, you know? Which is strange, because they were the total opposite of their fathers.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How did you meet them? At gigs?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. I talk to people. and if they’re real and sincere about what they’re doing, and they don’t really want anything out of me except to be my friends, then, you know, I go for that.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>The people who you were friendly with back then… that group… did they influence your style?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, I think to some degree. They’re really rebellious. They cut themselves off from the world, as I did. The band’s attitude is, they don’t listen to a lot of music and stuff like that. And the band is funny, the only time they ’ll go to see someone else is if they ’re going to talk about them or heckle. It’s really sick. They’re like critics.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Are they all close friends?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t know anymore. It’s hard to say. When we first started I think we were. That ’s how they got in the group. Some of them I didn’t find out if they could play until later.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Are they concerned, now, about not being on the road? Do they feel that they ’d like to be touring?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. We all do. Once I stop, then I start writing again, or whatever, or start playing… fooling around, then I don’t want to play out in public so much. I guess I write letters better than I talk, basically. I can write really good letters. And that’s where the records come from. I can sit down and say exactly what I want. I don’t have to worry about someone else next to me doing their job.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>It ’s funny, because you’re a very imaginative guy. I would think for someone who draws on fantasies and wrote about dreams, fantasy would be important.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, it is. But it’s not so much when you’re writing a letter. Do you know what I mean? If I were to write a letter to a friend, and tell them about an experience, I wouldn’t say how it made me feel; I would say exactly what I <em>did</em>, so that they could experience it, too, rather than the intellectual point of view. If you give them a situation, maybe that you’ve encountered, or whatever, give them the basis of it, let them take it to the next stage, they make the picture in their own mind. I know I am happiest making records like this, making records that tell the truth and don’t beat around the bush. Maybe I’m wrong for it, but I know the people at the concerts know exactly what the songs are about, sing right along, and are really into it. We have their attention. They understand, I think, and they ’re getting the message. I don’t know. It seems real to me because. . . well, it is, because I’m saying exactly what’s going around me. I say everything exactly the way it is.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Do you think people think that you’re gay?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, there’s something about me, I know, that makes people think that. It must stem from the fact that I spent a lot of time around women. Maybe they see things I don’t.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>People always speak about a feminine sensibility as if it ’s something negative in a man. But it’s usually very attractive for most women. Like a sensitiveness.<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t know. It’s attractive for me. I mean, I would like to be a more loving person, and be able to deal with other people ’s problems a little bit better. Men are really closed and cold together, I think. They don’t like to cry, in other words. And I think that’s wrong, because that ’s not true.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Is there anything that you want me to mention that we haven ’t talked about?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, I don’t know, it’s. . . I don’t want people to get the impression that sex is all I write about. Because it’s not, and the reason why it’s so abundant in my writing is mainly because of my age and the things that are around me. Until you can go to college or get a nine-to-five job, then there’s going to be a bunch of free time around you. And free time can only be spent in certain ways. But if people don’t dig my music, then stay away from it, that’s all. It’s not for everybody, I don’t believe. I do know that there are a lot of people wanting to be themselves out there.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Will you always try to be controversial?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>That’s really a strange question, because if I’m that way, then I will be forever writing that way. I don’t particularly think it’s so controversial. I mean, when a girl can get birth control pills at age twelve, then I know she knows just about as much as I do, or at least will be there in a short time. I think people are pretty blind to it. Pretty blind to life, and taking for granted what really goes on.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Do you think that older people don’t give the twelve- and thirteen-year-olds enough credit for knowing as much as they know?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I’m sure they don’t. I’m absolutely sure they don’t I mean, when my mom had stuff in her room that I could sneak in and get. Books, vibrators, all kinds of things. I did it. I’m sure everybody else does. And if I can go in there and do all that, I don’t see how she figures I won ’t know. And the way she figures I don’t know is, she doesn’t sit down and tell me exactly what’s going on. I never got a rap like that, and I don’t know how many kids do.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>I think that a lot of kids would like to feel that there ’s somebody who’s capturing that experience for them. And I don’t think anybody really has done it before.<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yeah. At the same time, you’re telling them about wanting to be loved or whatever… accepted. In time you can tell them about contraception and things like that, which need to be said. No one else is going to say it. I know I have def interview points on a lot of different things: The school system, the way the government’s run, and things like that. And I’ll say them, in time. And I think they ’ll be accepted for what they are.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>So is that really you up there onstage?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>What? The way I act? Oh, yeah, without a doubt.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>In other words, when you go back to Minneapolis, and you go to parties, is that you?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Oh, yeah. And when I’m with my friends, I’m more like that than anything. A lot of times, when I got out to clubs, if I go, I just go to observe, and I watch people. I like to watch people. They way they act and things like that.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>So what will be the first thing you do when you get back to Minneapolis?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Probably take a long bath. I haven ’t had one in a long time. I’m scared of hotel bathtubs.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>What do you fear?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>They just. . . a maid could walk in and see me.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>I liked your first two albums, but it seemed to me that the third record, Dirty Mind, was really a growth….</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yes. The second record (<em>For You</em>) was pretty contrived, After the first record, I put myself in a hole, because I’d spent a lot of money to make it. With the second record, I wanted to remedy all that, so I just made it a “hit” album. I usually write hits for other people, and those are the songs I throw away and don’t really care for. <em>Dirty Mind</em> started off as demo tapes: they were just like songs inside that I wanted to hear. So I took it to my manager and he said, “This is the best stuff I’ve heard in a long time. This should be your album.” The drag is that I don’t know how I could make another album like that. I usually change directions with each record, which is a problem in some respects, but rewarding and fulfilling for me. I have mixed emotions.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>The fourth record, </em>Controversy,<em> sounds more new wave.<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>It depends a lot on what instrument I write on. When I write on guitar, I come up with songs like “When You Are Mine” and “Ronnie Talks To Russia.·· When I start with drums. I get “Controversy.” <em>Controversy</em> is a little erratic. I’m really proud of this new album (<em>1999</em>).</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How did “Little Red Corvette” come about?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>That song was a real life incident. A girl in a little red Corvette….</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Did you resist the idea of </em>1999 <em>being a double album?<br></em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yes. I didn’t want to do a double record, but I just kept on writing. Of course, I’m not one for editing. I did try to shorten things.<br></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>How do you prepare to go into the studio? Do you have rough ideas… ?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>I don’t plan or anything like that. When I record, I find if I usually just sit down and do something, I’ll gradually come up with something. Sometimes it starts with a lyric.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Is It easier to work alone rather than with others?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Oh, much easier. I have a communication problem sometimes when I’m trying to describe music.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Were you always a musical loner?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>When I first started, I always had buddies around me. I never wanted to be a front man. It felt spooky to be at the mike alone. I had a bad habit of just thinking of myself—if I just moved constantly, then people would think I was comfortable. But that wasn’t right.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>When did you finally become comfortable performing?<br></em><strong><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong></strong>Last year, on the Controversy tour. There was something about coming down the pole and going out in front. I felt real comfortable.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN</strong>: <em>What was the incident at the Stones’ Coliseum show when you left the stage early?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>When we went onstage, there were a lot of people throwing things and making noises and stuff. At first I thought it was fun, okay, and then I thought, “Well, we just better play.” Dez, my guitar player, is just a rock ’n’ roller at heart and he said, “Show ’em we can play, and then it’ll simmer down.” But there was this one dude right in the front and I looked down at him—you could see the hatred all over his face. He wouldn’t stop throwing things. And the reason that I left was I didn’t want to play anymore. I just wanted to fight him. I got really angry. It’s like I’m feeling, “Look, I got twenty minutes. If you can’t deal with that, well, we’ll have to go outside and work it out.” You know? How dare you throw something at me?<br><strong><br><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong></strong><em>Many songwriters use the word “love” to mean other things such as ambition or goal or talent. Is the word “sex” almost interchangeable sometimes?<br></em><strong><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong></strong>Yes, I think everything basically is. Like in “Lady Cab Driver,” for example, “sex” is used in two different contexts. One is anger.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>Does that imply an S &M kind of thing? A lot of people might perceive that from the record.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Well, that’s up to them. I don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble, but the idea was that a lot of people make love out of loneliness sometimes.<br><strong><br><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong></strong><em>And they want to be touched in reassurance?<br></em><br><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yes, exactly. It just went from anger and you start saying, “Well, how long can this go on? This is a person here. I have to be human.” The right spot was hit so….<br><strong><br><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong></strong><em>Do you enjoy being in the studio?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Yes. There’s nothing like the feeling after you’ve done something and play it back and you know that you’ll never hear anything like it and that they’ll never figure it out-I’m sorry, I know what that sounds like. When I say “figure it out,” I mean something like I’ll try to go so high and so jagged with my voice that if everybody tries to do it their tonsils will tall out. I don’t try to trick people. Life is too confusing itself, and I wouldn’t put any more on anybody else. Now everybody’s worried about the fact that I can’t use engineers.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong><em>You can’t use engineers?</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>No, they drive me crazy. It’s because they’re so technical. Everything just got so esoteric, “We’ve got to do this a certain way,” when you’re ready to play.,he engineer I use and give credit to on the album, she sets everything up for me, most of the time before I come in. And then I Just do what I have to do and split. She puts things together afterward.<br><strong><br><strong>MUSICIAN: </strong></strong><em>I once heard you described as a child prodigy.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>PRINCE: </strong>Don’t. That’s all fabricated evidence that the management did to make it happen. I don’t want to say that I was anything less than what they thought, but I just did it as sort of a hobby, and then it turned into a job and just a way to eat, and now I do it as art.</p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063936
2017-04-14T17:00:00-07:00
2017-08-15T07:36:40-07:00
Lou Reed - Coney Island Baby (review by Peter Laughner)
<p class="style7"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/add3f591f82ac05db4e940a4f92457f33a4bad43/original/creem-magazine-march-1976.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ3OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="478" width="600" /></p>
<p class="style7"><strong>CREEM MAGAZINE - March 1976</strong></p>
<p class="style7">This album made me so morose and depressed when I got the advance copy that I stayed drunk for three days. I didn't go to work. I had a horrible physical fight with my wife over a stupid bottle of 10 mg. Valiums. (She threw an ashtray, a brick, and a five foot candelabra at me, but I got her down and sat on her chest and beat her head on the wooden floor.) </p>
<p class="style7">I called up the editor of this magazine (on my bill) and did virtually nothing but cough up phlegm in an alcoholic stupor for three hours, wishing somewhere in the back of my deadened brain that he could give me a clue as to why I should like this record. </p>
<p class="style7">I came on to my sister-in-law "C'mon over and gimme head while I'm passed out." I cadged drinks off anyone who would come near me or let me into their apartments. I ended up the whole debacle passing out stone cold after puking and pissing myself at a band rehearsal, had to be kicked awake by my lead singer, was driven home by my long-suffering best friend and force fed by his old lady who could still find it in the boundless reaches of her good heart to smile on my absolutely incorrigible state of dissolution...I willed her all of my wordly goods before dropping six Valiums (and three vitamin B complexes, so I must've figured to wake up, or at least at the autopsy they would say my liver was OK). Well, wake up I did, after sleeping sixteen hours, and guess what was running through my head, along with the visual images of flaming metropolises and sinking ocean liners foaming and exploding in vast whirling vortexes of salt water... </p>
<p class="style7"><em><strong>"Watch out for Charlie's girl...</strong></em><br><em><strong>She'll turn ya in...doncha know... </strong></em><br><em><strong>Ya gotta watch out for Charlie's girl..."</strong></em></p>
<p class="style7">Which is supposed to be the single off Coney Island Baby and therefore may be a big hit if promoted right, 'cause it's at least as catchy as "Saturday Night"...if they can just get four cute teens to impersonate Lou Reed. </p>
<p class="style7">Now, when I was younger, the Velvet Underground meant to me what the Stones, Dylan, etc. meant to thousands of other midwestern teen mutants. I was declared exempt from the literary curriculum of my upper class suburban high school simply because I showed the English department a list of books I'd glanced through while obsessively blasting White Light/White Heat on the headphones of my parents' stereo. All my papers were manic droolings about the parallels between Lou Reed's lyrics and whatever academia we were supposed to be analyzing in preparation for our passage into the halls of higher learning. "Sweet Jane" I compared with Alexander Pope, "Some Kinda Love" lined right up with T.S. Eliot's "Hollow Men"...plus I had a rock band and we played all these songs, fueled pharmaceutically by our bassist who worked as a delivery boy for a drugstore and ripped off an entire gallon jar full of Xmas trees and brown & clears. In this way I cleverly avoided all intellectual and creative responsibilities at the cleavage of the decades (I did read all the Delmore Schwartz I could steal from local libraries, because of that oblique reference on the 1st Velvets LP). After all, a person with an electric guitar and access to obscurities like "I saw my head laughing, rolling on the ground" had no need of creative credentials...there was the rail-thin, asthmatic editoress of our school poetry mag, there was the unhappily married English teacher who drove me home and elsewhere in her Corvette...there were others (the girl who began to get menstrual cramps in perfect time to the drums in "Sister Ray"). Who needed the promise of college and career? Lou Reed was my Woody Guthrie, and with enough amphetamine I would be the new Lou Reed! </p>
<p class="style7">I left home. I wandered to the wrong coast. (Can you imagine trying to get people in Berkeley, California to listen to Loaded in 1971? Although maybe they all grew up and joined Earthquake...) When Lou's first solo album came out, I drove hundreds of miles to play it for ex-friends sequestered at small exclusive midwest colleges listening to the Dead and Miles Davis. Everyone from my high school band had gone on to sterling careers as psych majors, botanical or law students, or selling and drinking for IBM (Oh yeah except the drummer became a junkie and had a stroke and now he listens to Santana). All the girls I used to wow into bed with drugs and song married guys who were just like their brothers and moved to</p>
<p class="style7">Florida or Chicago, leaving their copies of Blonde on Blonde and White Light in some closet along with the reams of amphetamine driven poetry I'd forced on them over the years. By the time Metal Machine Music came out, I'd lost all contact. The only thing that saved me from total dissolution over the summer of '75 was hearing Television three nights in a row and seeing The Passenger. </p>
<p class="style7">So all those people will probably never pay any attention to Coney Island Baby, and even if they did it wouldn't do much for what's left of their synapses. The damn thing starts out exactly like an Eagles record! And with the exception of "Charlie's Girl" which is mercifully short and to the point, it's a downhill slide. "My Best Friend" is a six year old Velvets outtake which used to sound fun when it was fast and Doug Yule sang lead. Here it dirges along at the same pace as "Lisa Says" but without the sexiness. You could sit and puzzle over the voiceovers on "Kicks" but you won't find much (isn't it cute, the sound of cocaine snorting, and is that an amyl popping in the left speaker?). Your headphones would be better utilized experiencing Patti Smith's brilliant triple-dubbed phantasmagoria on Horses. </p>
<p class="style7">Side two starts off with the WORST thing Reed has ever done, this limp drone self-scam where he goes on about being "a gift to the women of this world" (in fact this whole LP reminds me of the junk you hear on the jukeboxes at those two-dollar-a-beer stewardess pickup bars on 1st Ave. above 70th). There's one pick up point, "Oo-ee Baby" with the only good line on the record "your old man was the best B&E man down on the street," but then this Ric Von Schmidt rip-off which doesn't do anything at all. </p>
<p class="style7">Finally there's "Coney Island Baby." Just maudlin, dumb, self pity: "Can you believe I wann'd t'play football for th' coach"...Sure, Lou, when I was all uptight about being a fag in high school, I did too. Then it builds slightly, Danny Weiss tossing in a bunch of George Benson licks, into STILL MORE self pity about how it's tough in the city and the glory of Love will see you through. Maybe. Dragged out for six minutes. </p>
<p class="style7">Here I sit, sober and perhaps even lucid, on the sort of winter's day that makes you realize a New Year is just around the corner and you've got very little to show for it, but if you are going to get anything done on this planet, you better pick it up with both hands and DO IT YOURSELF. But I got the nerve to say to my old hero, hey Lou, if you really mean that last line of "Coney Island Baby": "You know I'd give the whole thing up for you," then maybe you ought to do just that. </p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063935
2017-03-11T16:00:00-08:00
2017-08-11T17:54:06-07:00
Stagger Lee Was A Woman by Lester Bangs
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/39eb14c5530fcfcc294c786a1c271bf9d4216d2a/original/lester-bangs-patti-smith-horses-review-stagger-lee-was-a-woman.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>(from </strong><strong><em style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Creem Magazine - </em></strong><strong>February 1976)</strong></p>
<p></p>
<p>Patti Smith will survive the media blitz and everybody’s hunger for another "superstar," because she’s an artist in a way that’s <em>right</em> old-fashioned; <em>Horses</em> lunges with raw urgency, but her approach is very methodical. She could have done this a long time ago, and has been building steadily, paying dues and learning music fit for the reaches of her poetry so as, when the song is finally delivered, to fulfill all her promises.</p>
<p>What must be recognized is that she transcends bohemian cultism to be both positive and mainstream, even though her songs go past a mere flirtation with death and pathology. She just saw that it was time for literature to shake it and music to carry both some literacy and some grease that ain’t jive. The combination makes her an all-American tough angel, street-bopping and snapping her fingers, yet moving with that hipshake which is so like every tease you slavered after in high school.</p>
<p>Her sound is as new-old as her look. You hear the Shangri-Las and other early Sixties girl groups, as well as Jim Morrison, Lotte Lenya, Anisette of Savage Rose, Velvet Underground, beatniks and Arabs. Meanwhile, the minimalism of the band forces her sound out front along with the poetry, and that sound stands. This is not a "spoken-word" album, it’s a rock’n’roll album, and even if you couldn’t understand a word of English you couldn’t miss the emotional force of Patti’s music. And you’ll love it when she makes mistakes (in this era of slick, pre-digested "rock" as muzak), when her voice goes ragged (but right), like the perfect act of leaping for something precious. Who needs the other kind of perfection?</p>
<p>Which brings up one of the truly ballsy things about this album: that she is meeting the <em>Mademoiselle</em> articles and Earl Wilson columns, not with some slicked up tech-mech superproduction (which John Cale is certainly capable of), but the finest garage band sound yet in the Seventies. The band cooks primarily because, with certain momentary exceptions (Richard Sohl’s beautiful piano intro to "Free Money," Allen Lanier’s ghostly guitar in "Elegie"), they’re all used either as percussion instruments or (as in the halcyon days of the Velvet Underground) for the sustenance of one fortifying drone. Lenny Kaye gets off some of the best one-note distorto guitar since the Stooges’ "1969," and the general primitivism makes you realize you’re a mammal again and glad for it, licking your chops.</p>
<p>Which is not to say that there’s not musical sophistication working here; it’s just that it’s <em>gut</em> sophistication, unfaltering instinct rather than the clammily cerebral approach of the old "poetry and jazz" albums. <em>Horses</em> is a commanding record, as opposed to demanding—you don’t have to work to "understand" or like it, but you can’t ignore it either; it refuses to be background music, stops the action in the room when it’s on, and leaves its effects when it’s over whether the listeners like it or not.</p>
<p>Each song builds with an inexorable seethe, a penchant for lust and risk that shakes you and never lets you forget you’re listening to real rock’n’roll again at last. Meanwhile, every song contains <em>moments</em> that go beyond raunch into emotional realms that can give you chills. In "Birdland" it’s the breathtaking "It was as if somebody had spread butter on all the fine points of the stars and they started to slip"; in "Break It Up," Patti’s truly cosmic sequence of "I cried ‘Help me <em>please</em>’/Ice it was shining," and suddenly through that line you can actually hear her hitting her chest metronomically with her fist, leading into "My heart it was melting..."</p>
<p>Throughout, she plays with roles and masks, combining sulky stalking cat and assertedly male aggressor in "Gloria," where she expands the Van Morrison original into a wild fantasy that’s a celebration of raw lust and personal primacy over any god or law. One of the amazing things is that even though she is still learning to sing her voice is all over the place, from the horny yelp of "Gloria’s" "sweet young <em>thuing</em>" to the demonic way her tongue whips the word "locker" first time she says it in "Land" to the brief unearthly but heart-grazing wordless upper register vocal flight in the middle of "Elegie."</p>
<p><em>Horses</em> really defines itself in "Kimberly," "Land" and "Elegie," the latter two fitting together in one shattering epic of violence, flight, death and mourning that is ultimately purgative. "Kimberly" is the most haunting song I’ve heard in a long time (enough so that by the time I’d had the record 48 hours it was pulsating straight through not only my days but my dreams at night), a sort of Ronettes bolero <em>cum</em> "Waiting For the Man" celebrating the act of giving birth as cataclysm (as it is) in stunning lyrics: "Oh baby I remember when you were born/It was dawn and the storm settled in my belly/And I rolled in the grass and I spit out the gas/And I lit a match and the void went flash/And the sky split/And the planets hit...And existence stopped/Little sister, the sky is falling/I don’t mind..."</p>
<p>"Land" establishes an eerily malevolent sexuality in the opening build leading to the rape scene, then the wild surge, each word an explosion, of "Suddenly/Johnny/gets a feeling/he’s being surrounded by/horses!/horses!/horses!/horses!" and then into a raw, tearing chorus of "Do you know how to pony" from the old Chris Kenner hit "Land of a Thousand Dances." After that the song takes off almost literally into space, Patti’s three vocal tracks weaving in and out of phase, merging splintered images as if by magic: "He picked up the blade and then he pressed it against his..smooth <em>throat</em>/and let it dip in/the veins/to the sea/of possibilities/it started hardening/to the sea/in my hand/and I felt the arrows of desire..." all rising in one raging floodgate of sound and image to explode in choking death chillingly envisaged, life ebbing with one decelerating drumbeat to "Elegie," a gust of pure melancholy stilled just short of whole anguish in Patti’s finest vocal and the loneliest piece of music since Nico’s "Elegy To Lenny Bruce."</p>
<p>Patti’s heroes may be gone, but she is both with us and for us, so strongly that her music is something, finally, to rally around. For one thing, she has certain qualities that can make her a hero to a whole generation of young girls, and may not be what you think. Suffice to say that Patti has done more here for woman as aggressor than all the Liberation tracts published, and has pushed to the front of the media eye that is just as much a process (ordeal) of learning to "become" a "woman" as it is for men wrestling with all this ballyhooed "manhood" business. It’s this tough chick who walks like Bo Diddley and yet is all woman that we’ve been waiting for for so long, a badass who pulls off the feat of being simultaneously idol of women and lust object of men (and women, no doubt).</p>
<p>And even more than that. Patti’s music in its ultimate moments touches deep wellsprings of emotion that extremely few artists in rock or anywhere else are capable of reaching. With her wealth of promise and the most incandescent flights and stillnesses of this album she joins the ranks of people like Miles Davis, Charles Mingus, or the Dylan of "Sad Eyed Lady" and Royal Albert Hall. It’s that deeply felt, and that moving: a new Romanticism built upon the universal language of rock’n’roll, an affirmation of life so total that, even in the graphic recognition of death, it sweeps your breath away. And only born gamblers take that chance. <br><br><strong>Copyright © Lester Bangs 1976</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a121af9ee157dbcefc1e5fdd40b926755e9f0004/original/lester-bangs-in-1976.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></strong></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063934
2017-02-02T16:00:00-08:00
2017-08-10T09:06:35-07:00
Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me You Damn Dirty Ape
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/59094fb3fac2f256aadb99c74ede9702b131c991/original/take-your-stinking-paws-off-me-you-damn-dirty-ape.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="781" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063933
2017-01-09T16:00:00-08:00
2017-08-10T08:49:49-07:00
Syd Barrett Rolling Stone interview by Mick Rock (1971)
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4dd18e6c58669e6a5612281ee3ec4d517ec04d6d/original/syd-barrett-rolling-stone-interview.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="338" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>LONDON </strong>— If you tend to believe what you hear, rather than what is, Syd Barrett is either dead, behind bars, or a vegetable. He is in fact alive and as confusing as ever, in the town where he was born, Cambridge.</p>
<p>In 1966–67, Barrett was playing lead guitar with Pink Floyd. He'd named the band and was writing most of their music, including the only two hit singles they ever had. His eerie electronic guitar style and gnome-like stage presence made him an authentic cult figure for the nascent London underground, then just beginning to gather at the UFO club and the Roundhouse. The Floyd were a house band and the music went on into the wee hours.</p>
<p>Cambridge is an hour's train ride from London. Syd doesn't see many people these days. Visiting him is like intruding into a very private world. "I'm disappearing," he says, "avoiding most things." He seems very tense, ill at ease. Hollow-cheeked and pale, his eyes reflect a permanent state of shock. He has a ghostly beauty which one normally associates with poets of old. His hair is short now, uncombed, the wavy locks gone. The velvet pants and new green snake skin boots show some attachment to the way it used to be. "I'm treading the backward path," he smiles. "Mostly, I just waste my time." He walks a lot. "Eight miles a day," he says. "It's bound to show. But I don't know how."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I can't speak very coherently," he says, "It's rather difficult to think of anybody being really interested in me. But you know, man, I am totally together. I even think I should be." Occasionally, Syd responds directly to a question. Mostly his answers are fragmented, a stream of consciousness (the words of James Joyce's poem "Golden Hair" are in one of his songs). "I'm full of dust and guitars," he says.</p>
<p>"The only work I've done the last two years is interviews. I'm very good at it." In fact, Syd has made three albums in that time, produced by the Floyd. <em>The Madcap Laughs</em>, his second, he says, was pretty good: "Like a painting as big as the cellar." Before the Floyd got off the ground, Barrett attended art school. He still paints. Sometimes crazy jungles of thick blobs. Sometimes simple linear pieces. His favourite is a white semi-circle on a white canvas.</p>
<p>In a cellar where he spends much of his time, he sits surrounded by paintings and records, his amps and guitars. He feels safe there, under the ground. Like a character out of one of his own songs. Syd says his favourite musician is Hendrix. "I toured with him you know, Lindsay (an old girlfriend) and I used to sit on the back of the bus, with him up front; he would film us. But we never spoke really. It was like this. Very polite. He was better than people really knew. But very self-conscious about his consciousness. He'd lock himself in the dressing room with a TV and wouldn't let anyone in."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Syd himself has been known to sit behind locked doors, refusing to see anyone for days at a time. Frequently in his last months with the Floyd, he'd go on stage and play no more than two notes in a whole set. "Hendrix was a perfect guitarist. And that's all I wanted to do as a kid. Play a guitar properly and jump around. But too many people got in the way. It's always been too slow for me. Playing. The pace of things. I mean, I'm a fast sprinter. The trouble was, after playing in the group for a few months, I couldn't reach that point."</p>
<p>"I may seem to get hung-up, that's because I am frustrated work-wise, terribly. The fact is I haven't done anything this year, I've probably been chattering, explaining that away like anything. But the other bit about not working is that you do get to think theoretically."</p>
<p>He'd like to get another band together. "But I can't find anybody. That's the problem. I don't know where they are. I mean, I've got an idea that there must be someone to play with. If I was going to play properly, I should need some really good people."</p>
<p>Syd leaves the cellar and goes up to a sedate little room full of pictures of himself with his family. He was a pretty child. English tea, cake and biscuits, arrives. Like many innovators, Barrett seems to have missed the recognition due to him, while others have cleaned up. "I'd like to be rich. I'd like a lot of money to put into my physicals and to buy food for all my friends.</p>
<p>"I'll show you a book of all my songs before you go. I think it's so exciting. I'm glad you're here." He produces a folder containing all his recorded songs to date, neatly typed, with no music. Most of them stand alone as written pieces. Sometimes simple, lyrical, though never without some touch of irony. Sometimes surreal, images weaving dreamily, echoes of a mindscape that defies traditional analysis. Syd's present favourite is "Wolfpack," a taut threatening, claustrophobic number. It finishes with:</p>
<p><strong><em>Mind the Reflecting electricity eyes</em></strong><br><strong><em>The Life that was ours grew sharper</em></strong><br><strong><em>and stronger away and beyond</em></strong><br><strong><em>short wheeling fresh spring</em></strong><br><strong><em>gripped with blanched bones moaned</em></strong><br><strong><em>Magnesium Proverbs and sobs</em></strong></p>
<p>Syd thinks people who sing their own songs are boring. He has never recorded anyone else's. He produces a guitar and begins to strum out a new version of "Love You," from <em>Madcap</em>. "I worked this out yesterday. I think it's much better. It's my new 12-string guitar. I'm just getting used to it. I polished it yesterday." It's a Yamaha. He stops and eases it into a regular tuning, shaking his head. "I never felt so close to a guitar as that silver one with mirrors that I used on stage all the time. I swapped it for the black one, but I've never played it."</p>
<p>Syd is 25 now, and worried about getting old. "I wasn't always this introverted," he says, "I think young people should have a lot of fun. But I never seem to have any." Suddenly he points out the window. "Have you seen the roses? There's a whole lot of colours." Syd says he doesn't take acid anymore, but he doesn't want to talk about it... "There's really nothing to say." He goes into the garden and stretches out on an old wooden seat. "Once you're into something..." he says, looking very puzzled. He stops. "I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway."</p>
<p><em><strong>This story is from the December 23rd, 1971 issue of Rolling Stone</strong>.</em></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063932
2016-11-16T16:00:00-08:00
2017-11-27T08:23:37-08:00
Livin' Out of a Suitcase and #Calexit
<p>livin' out of a suitcase is a concept shamefully foreign to most. it's more of a rounded concept than most caught in the simple mindset would wish to categorize it. i don't have the answers but have some insight. </p>
<p><strong>"ya ain't got a weak bone in your body ya ain't got the means to get ahead"</strong></p>
<p>those <strong>Middle Class Rut </strong>lyrics are so so so true.</p>
<p>don't get me wrong this has <strong>NOTHING</strong> to do with homelessness & the "security" purveyors can suck a "how do i justify being stuck" phallus. i'll even rent the tux. intelligent ones know you're free if you want it anyway so here's your ticket to the airport. take it or leave it.<br><br>did The Faint sing about Agenda Suicide or was it you? <strong>you can work for life. go ahead. our worthless pretty little homes make nothing more than drones that work hard before they die.............. </strong><br><br>unfortunately safety chokes some the people i love the most but that's usually for the best.</p>
<p>If anyone wants to "secede" you can leave the United States on your own. If you think you've got the courage, spine & stamina go ahead & give it a shot.</p>
<p><strong>I DARE</strong> <strong>YA</strong>.<br><br>It's <strong>VERY</strong> possible but there are so many things to it and I should know since I've been investigating it for the last couple years.<br><br>I honestly know I could handle it but VERY few of the <strong>bluffing pussies</strong> of this country could handle even half of the realities of it.<br><br>There are <strong>SO</strong> many things they're forgetting about. <br><br>Someone does not "know" a country because they stayed in a hotel there (and the same goes for Hollywood). And if they've never even lived out of a suitcase for at least a few months......<br><br>Seriously they need to go back to their safe routines & Netflix & shut the fuck up.<br><br>This is not "like" Brexit. That's an entire nation with everything still in its place leaving a larger union of nations not a state leaving a nation.<br><br>But hey they could have <strong>Arnold as their President</strong>.<br><br><strong>DECISIONS</strong><br><strong>DECISIONS</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p>oh & just a P.S. for all those whiny cunts babbling that tired predictable </p>
<p><strong>Hate, Misogyny, Racism, & Xenophobia</strong> script.....</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3d497d282abebc5a57bea839c4974dd16f8aa027/original/remember-kids-make-it-count.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="500" width="600" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063909
2016-08-15T17:00:00-07:00
2017-08-10T09:26:16-07:00
Bowie, Life on Mars, & the chicks in the white Firebird
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/v--IqqusnNQ" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>this song will always be the soundtrack to one of my favorite memories with random strangers. i'm standing at the corner of <strong>Fairfax & Melrose</strong> by Fairfax High in Hollywood....West Hollywood if you're gonna be a coose about it.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0d6b2d7861ac0e1a66cbf053caaa36c081ec8947/original/welcome-to-fairfax-high.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="360" width="600" /></p>
<p> two chicks pull up to the light in a <strong>beautiful white T-top Firebird</strong> complete with a perfect black logo with orange flames on the hood. </p>
<p>i hear <em><strong>but the film is a saddening bore.........</strong></em></p>
<p>i respond with <em><strong>for she's lived it ten times or more.........</strong></em></p>
<p>all 3 of us continue with<strong></strong><em><strong> she could spit in the eyes of fools........</strong></em></p>
<p>and at some point during<strong></strong><em><strong> as they ask her to focus on.......</strong></em><strong> </strong>the driver throws it into park, turns the stereo up to <strong>eleven</strong> and they both reach their arms to the sky and exit with <em><strong>SAI-LORS fighting in the dance hall </strong></em>and do a fairy dance around the car while belting out......</p>
<p>(in their best drunken bachelorette party voices)</p>
<p><em><strong>oh man!<br>look at those cavemen go<br>it's the freakiest show<br>take a look at the lawman<br>beating up the wrong guy<br>oh man! wonder if he'll ever know<br>he's in the best selling show</strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>is there life on Mars?</strong></em> </p>
<p>the light turned green somewhere around <em><strong>take a look at the</strong> <strong>lawman</strong></em>. cars honked. some road rage man yelled. neither one dared to care. and when it was over they jumped back in the car, waved goodbye, sped off down Melrose, & i've never seen either one of them again.</p>
<p>it has been accused of many things but <strong>THAT's</strong> Hollywood too. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063931
2016-06-16T17:00:00-07:00
2017-08-10T09:25:58-07:00
Eleven of the best Jim Carroll quotes
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f972bd568a976628f2a176123942c3dd48e8eed7/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8f9d7710e2bfdce2395ebcbe9aaad47b0d98e7e1/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="502" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/42e522c3613fe1a3ce92c7273b24274cf9a9bc4a/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="360" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fe8a3e1da548dd153ed5ba73f35f1965faef9aef/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-4.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ2NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="466" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c28ac89b289418e6c840bec661226d67d7e4ae7e/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-5.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="433" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c022901e5a5eec71d9ab24fc5e5eef34044e9619/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-6.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="398" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9f3aaeb3709107ab2f03d8be594fd1bc8f884585/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-7.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDU3OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="578" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b37172e6506267069cb6552201bfee671fff26e3/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-8.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="395" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e08e0257798b5806ea57a7e24ae9f8e251e15d61/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-9.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM4NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="384" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/832e8e18c83d68fbe53898228af9a8fd1119231a/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-10.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="402" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1303c52d263d0f64f728d5047611b982c1b13555/original/best-jim-carroll-quote-11.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="358" width="600" /><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063930
2016-02-19T16:00:00-08:00
2016-05-13T10:45:16-07:00
Pseudo-positivity & its "modern" purveyors
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/aab494e8a8416c9c6390aa806e029e8c5777e340/original/plan-c-pseudo-positivity-its-modern-purveyors-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI3OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="278" width="600" /></p>
<p>I'm <strong>REALLY</strong> sick of pseudo-positivity & its "modern" purveyors.</p>
<p>It's easy, cheap, predictable, tired, cliche, and a dozen other words.</p>
<p>Of course if you're one of those people who find this come-lately approach to groveling for attention on the internet appealing & profound you most likely think people like me are <strong>NEGATIVE & BITCHY </strong>right ???</p>
<p>Look at that picture above. Has it ever occurred to you to look past the obvious ??? Yes at 1st glance it <strong>APPEARS</strong> to be great advice. <em><strong>If at 1st you do not succeed try try again</strong></em>. We get it.</p>
<p>But now let's take it a few steps further:</p>
<p><strong>A:</strong> anyone & i do mean anyone can come up with simpleton drivel like that. there's no <strong>ART</strong> to it.</p>
<p><strong>B:</strong> the above message is <strong>SO</strong> rooted in a failure's mind & mentality.</p>
<p><strong>C:</strong> for all practical purposes it's just another empty platitude especially considering today's <strong>here-today-gone-tomorrow</strong> attention span. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b12de38b5c697e5cfef6479a45ccef61c8192b30/original/mrs-produkt-the-dogs-journal-by-carella-ross-38.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg1MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="852" width="600" /></p>
<p>So many of the average chumps on the street are <strong>REALLY</strong> great at resolutions & <strong>REALLY</strong> awful at follow through. They're actually very similar to a bunch of cokeheads babblin' about all the things they're gonna do when all their future really holds is the next line(s) & the next chapter(s) of babble. </p>
<p><strong>ALL TALK NO WALK = WE'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE</strong>.</p>
<p>Stop selling such a shitty low-grade product & maybe (just maybe) i'll start buyin'.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063929
2015-10-14T17:00:00-07:00
2015-10-15T10:42:39-07:00
"Homeland is racist". CNN's very own Spin Zone.
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c9f80b7afc31826943be55d789972f2553437c5f/original/homeland-is-racist-cnn-article-headline.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEzOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="138" width="600" /></p>
<p> the original article is ====> <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/15/middleeast/homeland-grafitti-racist/" target="blank" data-imported="1"><strong>HERE</strong></a>.</p>
<p></p>
<div>
I'm <strong>NEVER</strong> monitoring <strong>CNN</strong> for the "news". i'm always looking for what they are or might be spinning & i check it daily especially since they're the defacto <strong>FOX News</strong> equivalent for those <strong>P.C. "liberal" idiots</strong> still tossin' <strong>Obama's</strong> salad. <strong>Fox & CNN</strong> are both just the same self-serving preaching-to-their-choir shit on different sides of a fence.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div>but i think this particular article is interesting to say the least.</div>
<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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are they training people to believe that <strong>"subliminal"</strong> messages and weird things popping up in what they watch every day is <strong>"normal"</strong> now ??? ya know...maybe a little <em><strong>nothing to worry about here</strong></em>....<em><strong>carry on with whatever you were doing and make sure to evaluate EVERY other situation like this for the rest of your well-trained-dog days EXACTLY as you do here</strong></em>.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div>are we just supposed to file this and every future occurrence like it in the <strong>"</strong><strong>shit happens"</strong> folder now ????</div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div><strong>"Homeland is racist"</strong></div>
<div><strong>"Homeland is not a series"</strong></div>
<div><strong>"Freedom now in 3D"</strong></div>
<div><strong>"Homeland is a joke and it didn't make us laugh"</strong></div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div>even the <strong>#blacklivesmatter</strong> hashtag is in there from the <strong>Trayvon Martin</strong> case. </div>
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<div>
and why is this mainstream "news" <strong>NOW</strong> ???? today <strong>October 15th 2015</strong> out of nowhere ??? especially since there's no way <strong>Homeland</strong> producers did not know this all happened long ago....<strong>YEARS</strong> ago.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div>and even better that the headline blames it all on <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>ARTISTS</strong></span>.</div>
<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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is <strong>Marilyn Manson</strong> or how about an incredible painter who creates a piece that in some way criticizes the current administration now supposed to be included in the same mental subcategory as some <strong>"middle east terrorist"</strong> with a can of spray paint ???? Likewise am i now an <strong>"athlete"</strong> if i go to <strong>Target</strong>, buy a <strong>football</strong>, and throw a <strong>pass</strong> on camera ?? something tells me these <strong>same people</strong> would say <strong>THAT</strong> would be ridiculous.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
<div>just asking questions & trying to figure out the <strong>"</strong><strong>rules"</strong> here.</div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ae6f608eb26d4b4ba6f7665857bb301e358d564e/original/marilyn-manson.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="398" width="600" /></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063927
2015-10-12T17:00:00-07:00
2016-11-16T13:44:39-08:00
The United Snakes of America
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3f35baf3134aece297caee3d3c254fd4cd050af6/original/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-two-headed-beast-the-most-despised-presidential-candidates-in-history.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="398" width="600" /></p>
<p>i swore after 2004 when <strong>Bush</strong> won his 2nd term i would never again vote in this political cesspool....these <strong>United Snakes of America</strong> as Ms. Nina Simone referred to them before fleeing the country pretty much for good.</p>
<p>and i have stuck true to that personal pledge. you can shove that cliche <em><strong>democracy is not a spectator sport</strong></em> straight up your ass if you are so inclined to spew such empty drivel. i still reside =====> <strong>[THERE]</strong>. </p>
<p>But <strong>ANYONE</strong> (with bitchin' hair) who can irritate the shit out of those gullible idiots still clinging to <strong>Obama's</strong> fraud express or get under the skin of those equally worthless sleepwalking <strong>#ImWithHer</strong> imbeciles can't be <strong>ALL</strong> bad right ????</p>
<p>it's starting to make me (kinda) itch a little if ya catch my drift. </p>
<p>it's just an itch but it's still an itch.</p>
<p><strong>I'M CERTAIN ABOUT ONE THING THOUGH:</strong> let's just hope he's not a ringer.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5e35135fa1a93c66262fb0bdc2d27005b6878e4f/original/nina-simone-the-united-snakes-of-america.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063926
2015-09-25T17:00:00-07:00
2016-03-30T17:52:43-07:00
The Ameri-con Euphemism Chart For Idiots
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4144605428653bf97e2bcd1c357f05a18b23de36/original/the-ameri-con-euphemism-chart-for-idiots-agenda-2030-sustained-development-united-nations-global-goals-bullshit-lies.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="750" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a6ccb85d5b5d9472642c9fa1e3c40814de9486ae/original/the-ameri-con-euphemism-chart-for-idiots-agenda-2030-sustained-development-united-nations-global-goals-bullshit-lies-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="335" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e8a6c0cfc9c2a14c53bce7cbac786b5dc316cc49/original/the-ameri-con-euphemism-chart-for-idiots-agenda-2030-sustained-development-united-nations-global-goals-bullshit-lies-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="365" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1a6cf4b4379809fd8e22bb4674aab61f7cf2b24a/original/orwell-1984-quote-first-they-steal-the-words-then-they-steal-the-meaning.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDE5NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="196" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063925
2015-09-24T17:00:00-07:00
2022-09-12T09:44:50-07:00
The List of Celebrities in the United Nations Global Goals Propaganda Video
<p> </p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped" frameborder="0" height="400" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RpqVmvMCmp0" width="600"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><strong>2015 + "15 year plan" = Agenda 2030</strong>.</p>
<p>I'm sure i missed a few because i don't know who the hell they are but here are just the "celebrities" in this video from start to finish who are too ignorant to realize they're selling us all out. It's time to turn each and every one of their channels <strong>OFF</strong> until they see the error in & of their ways.</p>
<p><strong>Obviously this is the inevitable result of living life in a bubble like that:</strong></p>
<p>Chiwetel Ejiofor, Chris Martin, Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett, Daniel Craig, Kate Winslet, One Direction, (was that ??) Charlize Theron, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lawrence, Christina Hendricks, Ashton Kutcher, Matt Damon (this one shocks me the most), Bill Gates (but that vaccine scumbag is a given), Colin Firth, Pink, Robert Redford, Nicholas Hoult, Tom Meighan of Kasabian (very disappointed about this one), Stevie Wonder (the only one i'll consider giving a pass).</p>
<p>It's really not a long list because I'm sure most people would not want to touch this with a ten foot pole. As one comment noted <em><strong>Matt Damon looks like he has a gun to his head</strong></em>.</p>
<p><strong>IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS AGENDA LET THESE PEOPLE KNOW RIGHT NOW</strong>.</p>
<p>And always remember if you do not want to go along with this program</p>
<p><strong>"</strong><strong>you must want starving children to die</strong><strong>"</strong> right ????</p>
<p>Dare i say the comment section at this video gives me hope.</p>
<p>The people are waking up.</p>
<p><strong>I'm proud of you</strong>.</p>
<p>and in fact now that i think about it <strong>the 2015 military budgets</strong> for the "<strong>United Nations</strong>" of the United States, China, Saudi Arabia, Russia, UK, France, Japan, India, Germany, South Korea, Brazil, Italy, Israel, Australia, and Iraq alone can pay for all this and more right now so there's no need for any "<strong>15 year plan</strong>".</p>
<p><strong>PROBLEM SOLVED</strong>.</p>
<p>next ????</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5e04db6864d1c26dd97139b14b4a391e5326454d/original/say-no-to-the-new-world-order.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p><a data-imported="1" data-link-type="page" href="/rantings-ravings"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063924
2015-09-17T17:00:00-07:00
2015-09-18T08:11:10-07:00
Bitch I'm Not Madonna OR Barry (from texts to a friend)
<p>I love <strong>Live To Tell & Oh Father</strong>. Those are my 2 favorites. I never commented on it a few months ago when it happened but she's ruining her legacy with shit like that <em><strong>Bitch I'm Madonna</strong></em>.... At least until she's gone. That's <strong>SO</strong> bad it's shocking. She's in her <strong>fat Elvis</strong> stage.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4487a472df445183e33733a95b5f1d8af4e81342/original/bitch-im-madonna-is-horrible-worst-song-ever.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="397" width="600" /></p>
<p>seriously... I couldn't decide who has been worse for the last (almost) 30 years.... <strong>Prince</strong> or <strong>D</strong><strong>avid Bowie</strong> and then she swoops in and kicks both their asses with one truly atrocious track. Unbelievably awful. Someone should have kidnapped her... Duct taped her to a chair in a cabin in the woods.... Threw the master tape or computer it was recorded on in the fireplace... And given her a long <strong>"Jesus christ what the fuck has happened to you ???"</strong> motivational speech.</p>
<p>Oh and everyone who made a cameo in this video should be shot or at least beaten to a slight pulp.</p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7hPMmzKs62w" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></p>
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It would not be so bad if it was not in <strong>THIS</strong> world. She's chasing something that's shit anyway and she should know better than to be a reflection of <strong>"NOW"</strong>. it shows just how potent her <strong>'Merican</strong> disease is. you can have all the obvious symptoms staring back at you in the mirror and not even have a fuckin' clue you're sick.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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<div>A couple days ago <strong>Obama</strong> "tweeted" some science geek kid saying <strong>"he should bring his clock invention to the White House so more kids think science is cool"</strong>...and ALL these fuckin' <strong>sleepwalking imbeciles</strong> responded with <strong>"see what a great guy he is ??"</strong> because they're <strong>THAT</strong> dumb. It's like if I help rape your daughter's entire future but I compliment her <strong>Lego</strong> creation and a bunch of well-trained (and mindless)monkeys applaud and some figurative eyes get teary for their <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>CON</strong></span>quering hero. it's <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>PATHETIC</strong></span>.</div>
<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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<div>I mean who is <strong>slow</strong> enough to not be able to see through a mob boss handing out <strong>free turkeys on Thanksgiving</strong> ??? That requires a special kind of:</div>
<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/41baa463bc296980ab790ed1424b55295995dcd8/original/dumb-as-a-mother-fucker.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUzIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="53" width="600" /> </div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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No <strong>REAL</strong> artist with a <strong>functioning brain</strong> does not despise that mentality, those people, and he/she would certainly <strong>NEVER</strong> waste a millisecond of time seeking their approval. We'll be long gone (un)fortunately but time will prove we are witnessing the absolute shit of all human life right now....and I don't think it's bottomed out yet by any means....There's definitely more to go further down the rabbit hole but this <strong>"America"</strong> is as low as it will get. Never again with more advantages at their disposal will humans be <strong>SO</strong> worthless, ignorant, and truly mediocre while thinking they're entitled at the same time. And idiots like the <strong>Kardashians</strong>, each and every overpaid <strong>sports moron</strong> like <strong>Lebron James</strong>, and all the <strong>Taylor Swifts</strong> Madonna's trying to keep pace with are benchmarks for that shit tribe.
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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<div>Madonna (or more like this <strong>Madge</strong> character) is <strong>SUCH</strong> a joke the irony of <em><strong>Bitch I'm Madonna </strong></em>completely eludes her. That <strong>"bitch"</strong> should be kickin' it in <strong>Bermuda</strong> sippin' champagne and having her <strong>pussy</strong> eaten each and every hour, on the hour, while someone brushes her hair and makes her lunch.</div>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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<div>or go read some more books. that would work as well....<em><strong>the truth is never far behind you kept it hidden well hope i live to the tell.........</strong></em>
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<div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c2accacc9e9665c1c342beee9c86e9e7312adfa4/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></div>
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<div><strong>FER SURE.</strong></div>
<div><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></strong></div>
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<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IzAO9A9GjgI" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063923
2015-04-20T17:00:00-07:00
2015-10-13T00:44:27-07:00
My All-Time Top 7 Favorite Videos as a LITTLE KID
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<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/C-LrO1AfCDo" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AAZQaYKZMTI" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0u8teXR8VE4" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
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<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pHCdS7O248g" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/r3kQlzOi27M" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
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<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Zzew738f5TA" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
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<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/1JnQfKIFERU" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063922
2015-04-19T17:00:00-07:00
2015-04-20T10:16:33-07:00
BAND & MUSIC related biographies
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/eed146f948a631e93aceb613e6c7ee6e4a9c7d56/original/carella-ross-band-and-music-related-biographies-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="781" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e76e6820588e7482c027852a807b65ebc02d5990/original/carella-ross-band-and-music-related-biographies-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="801" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063921
2015-03-23T17:00:00-07:00
2015-03-24T12:13:02-07:00
SOME OF my favorite songs (1980-1992)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3edc35c37c806d0666fe67ba5e596919462b55e0/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1980-1992-part-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg3OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="878" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/138b7438e7855998a087a59a6de967bb1f4d73ff/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1980-1992-part-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="804" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/15dc098a03348588a1026d411f147a1854b25c37/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1980-1992-part-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg3NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="876" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063920
2015-03-23T17:00:00-07:00
2015-03-24T12:16:59-07:00
SOME OF my favorite songs (1970-1979)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c698cf6d0e7c4e3f4728a6307e1c23d15a34acab/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1970-1979-part-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg4NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="885" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/729b1a85238a258ee5637ff2b90c04c3a6cf3762/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1970-1979-part-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg3OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="879" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f02206a8b85eca2fa583309e86c7ed48dc859705/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1970-1979-part-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg3NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="874" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3c9156b66207a8dea65da8371d5af5f42bdc2ff0/original/carella-ross-some-of-my-favorite-songs-1970-1979-part-4.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDkwMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="901" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063919
2015-02-21T16:00:00-08:00
2015-02-22T01:40:03-08:00
New York Dolls Too Much Too Soon review
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7b1b721fe04ccac52f1e503390f5b70c6b889c1f/original/new-york-dolls-too-much-too-soon-review.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDkwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="900" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063918
2015-01-31T16:00:00-08:00
2015-02-01T16:13:16-08:00
random images from X - The Unheard Music documentary
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/915bdb2037ac815a8696f3dee3bc675e618b0b96/original/x-the-unheard-music-intro.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="337" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/bcdbc61c2475dc33e04e4289c8a3788e668bdf83/original/exene-soul-kitchen.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="317" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/211c5ac29a972e2fe9399322aac3581f04f60aa7/original/john-doe-interview.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="322" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b646cf7c923d33c72477974b36e5a011d02a1869/original/billy-zoom-playing-the-clarinet.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyNiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="326" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ead77c1215730c7b8e39ce70b4f5635d83e8173c/original/x-publicity-shot.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="317" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e0265daf83ab75addf96517c0e4aeddb1c8637d0/original/x-publicity-shot-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="319" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8198c374e4546bced8c1aaf38bf0096f5ef6ac50/original/john-doe-kroq-signing.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="325" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6d6032cdecf9c3d4013e7f9bff3c8a4d3caa18fd/original/exene-dj-bonebrake-kroq-x-signing.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="329" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5834fc979b7ce2c5708c0cb85b1a00a45693c0de/original/damage-magazine-la-hardcore.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="333" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/704f792c70ce22ac0579166920fab95c5a522382/original/exene.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="336" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/18d4e68d6490ca54c7699f27d5cf978475c4f683/original/no-mag-by-geza-x.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="332" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e7aa504260fdd33a792e36ae972e6cd9e4ffce9a/original/john-doe.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="334" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0bc95dcfa70e4ab6bd019ab4d2e2b47e4511fe67/original/whisky-flyer.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="333" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/190f8f895ddd556381fab032445b669d9624e392/original/to-escape-horror-bury-yourself-in-it-genet-quote.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="328" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5d3681538f324d835f7b14804f607161ef23efc6/original/exene-mural.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="336" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e703619e0043ef842290931955aa1cc598ade11e/original/the-pope-is-666.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM3MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="372" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f4631d1de9077ae3f75dee2b4ee6d57852d6cebc/original/stiv-bators.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="335" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7bbf859be86b9a455ebc9df073241a90d0e95636/original/throbbing-gristle-vox-pop-flyer.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="339" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2a03b1d9d22b23b5f3d65a472357da2e06c5db6b/original/brendan-mullen-owner-of-the-masque.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="287" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/556764ade6bfb2078433508dd2ddd5e55dea437a/original/brendan-mullen.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="437" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d19bf9c54882386b78896b847f0d34824ae4cfa8/original/666-slut.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="324" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8de9c4d013d6b2ed86863e765ad65009936eae90/original/christ-returns-newspaper-headline.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzNiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="336" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/40d13117c7d4ff3efe4b0df122fd47d4d29c09cc/original/darby-crash.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="319" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/30a2c58494e1a0be91e5a98bc7cc206cd9464eb5/original/elvis-crown-of-thorns.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="333" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/02805d77f1af0eb50a9ddd6c3d567395860b329c/original/rodney-bingenheimer-kroq.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="361" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063917
2014-11-16T16:00:00-08:00
2014-12-09T04:54:10-08:00
Lester Bangs reviews Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music
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<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/da7794b1b4a1f23bdac5dba0e6f968b6553cf9d7/original/lou-reed-metal-machine-music.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDU4NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="586" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p><strong>Creem Magazine (March 1976)</strong></p>
<p>It has been suggested that in my annual regress report to the stockholders, published here last month, I neglected in all five thousand words to ever once mention why Metal Machine Music is a good album. So here, especially in light of Coney Island Baby, are the reasons:</p>
<p>If you ever thought feedback was the best thing that ever happened to the guitar, well, Lou just got rid of the guitars.</p>
<p>I realize that any idiot with the equipment could have made this album, including me, you or Lou. That's one of the main reasons I like it so much. As with the Godz and Tangerine Dream, not only does it bring you closer to the artist, but someday, god willing, I may get to do my own Metal Machine Music. It's all folk music, anyway.</p>
<p>When you wake up in the morning with the worst hangover of your life, Metal Machine Music is the best medicine. Because when you first arise you're probably so fucked (i.e., still drunk) that it doesn't even really hurt yet (not like it's going to), so you should put this album on immediately, not only to clear all the crap out of your head, but to prepare you for what's in store the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Speaking of clearing out crap, I once had this friend who would say, "I take acid at least every two months & JUST BLOW ALL THE BAD SHIT OUTA MY BRAIN!" So I say the same thing about MMM. Except I take it about once a day, like vitamins.</p>
<p>In his excellent liner notes, Lou asserts that he and the other speedfreaks did not start World Wars I, II, "or the Bay of Pigs, for that matter." And he's right. If everybody took amphetamines, all the time, everybody would understand each other. Either that or never listen or bother with the other son of a bitch, because they'd all be too busy spending three days drawing psychedelic lines around a piece of steno paper until it's totally black, writing eighty-page letters about meaningless occurrences to their mothers, or creating MMM. There would be no more wars, and peace and harmony would reign. Just imagine Gerald Ford on speed- he might manifest some glimmer of personality. Or Ronald Reagan- a blood vessel in his snapping-turtle lips would immediately burst, perhaps ridding us of that cocksucker. As is well known by now, JFK enjoyed regular injections of Meth and vitamins from happy croakers. 'Nuff said. Hey may not have actually accomplished anything (except the Bay of Pigs- wait a minute, Lou hasn't been doing his homework), but he had style and a winning smile.</p>
<p>I have heard this record characterized as "anti-human" and "anti-emotional." That it is, in a sense, since it is music made more by tape recorders, amps, speakers, microphones and ring modulators than any set of human hands and emotions. But so what? Almost all music today is anti-emotional and made by machines too. >From Elton John to disco to Sally Can't Dance (which Lou doesn't realize is one of his best albums, precisely because it's so cold) it's computerized formula production line shit into which the human heart enters very rarely if at all. At least Lou is upfront about it, which makes him more human than the rest of those MOR dicknoses. Besides which, any record that sends listeners fleeing the room screaming for surcease of aural flagellation or, alternately, getting physical and disturbing your medications to the point of breaking the damn thing, can hardly be accused, at least in results if not original creative man-hours, of lacking emotional content. Why do people got to see movies like Jaws, The Exorcist, or Iisa, She Wolf of the SS? So they can get beat over the head with baseball bats, have their nerves wrenched while electrodes are being stapled to their spines, and generally brutalized at least every once ever fifteen minutes or so (the time between the face falling out of the bottom of the sunk boat and they guy's bit-off leg hitting the bottom of the ocean). This is what, today, is commonly understood as entertainment, as fun, as art even! So they've got a lot of nerve landing on Lou for MMM. At least here there's no fifteen minutes of bullshit padding between brutalizations. Anybody who got off on The Exorcist should like this record. It's certainly far more moral a product.</p>
<p>Charisma. Lou's been slipping of late, but for those who remember and understand the Myth, the Legend-i.e., he was an emblem of absolute negativism- MMM has more charisma than a cage full of porcupines has quills.</p>
<p>All landlords are mealymouthed bastards who would let the ruins of Pompeii fall on your four-poster before they'd lift a finger. They deserve whatever they get, and MMM is the all-time guaranteed lease breaker. Every tenant in America should own a copy of this album. Forearmed!</p>
<p>My pet land hermit crab, Spud, who sometimes goes for days at a time curled up inside his shell in a corner of the cage so you gotta check to see if he's dead, likes MMM a lot. Every time I put it on, he comes out of his shell and starts crawling happily around the sand and climbing the bars. It is, in fact, the only time I ever see him get any exercise. Either that or he's dancing. 10. I have been told that Lou's recordings, but most specifically this item, have become a kind of secret cult among teenage mental institution inmates all across the nation. I have been told further that those adolescents who have been subjected to electroshock therapy enjoy a particular affinity for MMM, that it reportedly "soothes their nerves," and is ultimately a kind of anthem. If anyone out there reading this knows any more about this phenomenon, please get in touch with me immediately.</p>
<p>I played it for President Idi "Big Daddy" Amin of Uganda when he flew me and Lisa Robinson over there to interview him for upcoming cover articles in Creem and Hit Parader, and he absolutely loved it. I gave him a copy, and now by special edict he has it piped through the Muzak vents of ever supermarket (all thirty-five of them) and doctor's waiting room (all eight) in his great nation, so that the citizens there may be inspired to ever fiercer heights of patriotism for his regime and all that it stands for. He wanted to declare it the Ugandan national anthem, but I told him that I would have to check with the American teenage shock vets first, and being a wise, fair, graciously diplomatic politician, he of course immediately assented, and then, genial host that he is, whisked us off to see a life multiple snuff film done sans cameras and celluloid. "We can't afford them," he explained. "And besides, the next time you have a dangling conversation with Paul Simon, you can inform him that the theatre is not really dead."</p>
<p>I think that, in this time of recession/depression and with the whole music business tightening its belt, it is truly thoughtful of Lou to cut recording costs as much as MMM must have, especially when you consider the stupefying self-indulgence of so many of today's rock "masterpieces" with their overproductions so baroquely lavish it all turns to tinsel. Only James Brown, I think, approaches Lou's achievement here in terms of sheer economy and minimal booking of expensive studio time. MMM is actually, far from some nihilist rampage, one giant WIN button. Or more precisely, two since it is a two record set.</p>
<p>And why this is, of all Lou Reed albums (and the man's songwriting prolifigacy is indeed astounding. "Just lock Lou in a room for an hour," Dennis Katz told me once, "and when you let him out he's got fifteen new songs!" The reason why he keeps on recording old Velvet Underground outtakes he wrote upwards of a decade ago is that he's saving all his best new stuff for 863 LPs to be released, one every two months, after he dies, assuming that he ever does. "I'm not gonna let those bloodsuckers rip me off and tarnish my memory like happened to poor Jimi," he confided to me once over two Schaefer's drafts at McSorley's. "My fans will never get less than A+ quality, as my friend Bob Christgau would put it, and besides it's quite likely that I will live forever, because me and some doctor friends I hang out with just discovered that there's a secret, heretofore unknown ingredient in methamphetamine which retards the aging process.</p>
<p>So theoretically if you can get and just keep shooting this stuff, you could live for the rest of human history, which is why we're doing some resynthesizing experiments to see if we can bring this certain ingredient a little more into the foreground of the compound. I think it's called atropine. It's been around for a long time, the Indians knew about it but recognized in the face of their dog race inferiority it would be more moral to forget about it and submit themselves to extermination by white Europeans, who were the only ones with the technological knowhow to extract the raw chemical and refine it into a form you can cook up and shoot. But anyway that's where you got that Ponce de Leon business, and his only problem was the fucker, being a dumb spic, naturally had no idea how to prepare it in any potent form. So everybody concluded it was a myth and forgot about it until I came along, and potency is my middle name. So now you can let your readers in on the little secret that not only am I the toughest, baddest, most well-hung stud in show business, which actually is only because in 1973 I went to Sweden and had a transplant so now instead of a cock I got a horse doctors syringe, not only that but there's a damn good chance I'm even gonna cut that punk Cagliostro at his own riffs and live forever.</p>
<p>Of course, you never can discount unforeseen circumstances, plane crashes and the like, which is why I got these eight hundred albums in the can just in case. There's all sorts of stuff, like one is I rewrote my own version of Rigoletto, you know that opera by Scriabin, except it's set in this Puerto Rican leather bar where all the customers are amputated at the thigh and rolling around on these little carts on wheels. They keep trying to have punchouts, except their carts keep bumping and they can't reach each other. So they got very frustrated. I sang all the parts myself, and I stole all the lyrics off old 'Lucas Tanner' dialogue, but nobody will notice the difference because I made the music salsa and it's so fucking loud you can't hear any of the words. But I'm not gonna put that out just yet. They'll have to wait a while for that. What my next album is gonna be is the follow-up to Metal Machine Music, which sounds exactly the same except it's gonna be a concept album about all this stuff I was telling you before about aging and a five-record set in a gold embossed box with a booklet inside featuring blown-up Polaroid SX-70s of me tying off, hitting up, sterilizing my works with alcohol and then going out Christmas shopping for Andy and all the kids at Bloomingdale's and the Pleasure Chest, where the last pic is me modeling a cock ring on my horse geezer.</p>
<p>I predict by that time the general public will have grown ears and gotten hip enough to appreciate Metal Machine Music, so this follow-up, which I'm gonna call Triumph of the Will, will be the best-selling LP of all time and those ratfucks in Chicago can suck my asshole along with that little blob Elton John who could use some speed almost as bad as Leslie West but can't have any of mine, because as I think it was Pat Ast said in that fabulous review of Coney Island Baby in the Soho Weekly News 'I have seen rock's future and its name is Lou Reed'"), a double album, you ask? Simple- the two discs are, according to Lou, symbolic of two tits ("There's never more than two," he explained), to signify that this is, albeit mechanized, a very sexy album designed to cut in heavily on the hot Barry White market.</p>
<p>Everybody knows that drugs come in sexes. Down are feminine, speed is masculine. Down make you all nice and sweet and pliant and tenderized with E-Z Bake, whereas speed makes you aggressive and visceral and forthright and a real take-charge kind of guy/gal. (Makes no difference because all humans are the same sex, except albinos. It is the drugs that, obviously, determine the gender of the being.) So which one you take when you get up in the morning just involves whether you wanna be Donna Mills or Joe Don Baker that day. It's totally your prerogative.</p>
<p>Similarly, Coney Island Baby, fine and indeed heartfelt as it is, is a downs LP. Not putdown involved- Lou's favorite old Velvet songs were always the ballads, and he's got a right to get sweet on himself. Love is silt. Anybody who has ever taken Quaaludes and wound up loving the rest of the human race so much they ended up in bed with a human turnip knows that. The lyrics are better than any Lou-nee Tunes in a while, but not that not since Transformer have so many of them been explicitly preoccupied with the, er, ah . . . "gay" scene. Which certainly can't be said of CIB's immediate predecessor. Me, I like sex with vegetables, but I nurse this lingering paranoia that someday, some drunken night, I may get a radish between the sheets and discover it's homosexual. Thus I feel threatened by Coney Island Baby, just as I feel threatened by Valiums, Tuinals, Seconals, Quaaludes, and Compoz. Metal Machine Music, on the contrary, reinforces my sense of myself as a man. Under my blacklight presidential campaign poster of Hunter Thompson, I bolt upright in repose, my rifle casually draped cross my lap, listening to MMM and dreaming of My Lai as starring Fritz the Cat. So fuck downs, avoid Coney Island Baby like guys who wear green on Thursdays, and keep it (your fist) up tight.</p>
<p>MMM is Lou's soul. If there is one thing he would like to see buried in a time capsule, this is it.</p>
<p>It sounds better on Romilar than any other record I have ever heard.</p>
<p>It is the greatest record ever made in the history of the human eardrum. </p>
<p>Number Two: Kiss Alive!</p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063916
2014-11-11T16:00:00-08:00
2016-11-26T06:53:02-08:00
i miss you Medusa's
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5c638a76b05ada7e91b0395d466ab7d2d0cd817f/original/medusas-chicago-sign.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="289" width="600" /></p>
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<strong>SO TRUE. SO SO TRUE</strong>. <strong>the rest of that article is <a href="http://www.gapersblock.com/transmission/2009/09/24/a_look_back_in_the_mirror_at_medusas/" target="blank" data-imported="1">here</a></strong>
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<p>i swear i get this weird indescribable wave of electric deja-vu every time i even hear that name <strong>Medusa's</strong>. so strange. enough time has gone by that i now know that i don't miss anything more than that place. there's no person place or thing that can replace it.</p>
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<p>i can push play on any of the 4 tracks above and i swear i can smell (and taste) the fog machine there. <strong>Ministry's You Know What You Are</strong> or the 1st 30 seconds of the last track <strong>Push by The Invincible Spirit</strong> would possess me like the Exorcist. i can't really explain it in words. The force of it in a proper club setting was just so dense & powerful it made me want to break shit. i wanted to run out the front door to one of the local houses in the neighborhood and piss on their front door. i wanted to be every mother's worst fucking nightmare.</p>
<p>But i digress because it really was about the quality & originality of the content i encountered in that place. it wasn't like i could hop on the internet and find it on random cyber corners with the click of a mouse. </p>
<p>It was truly obscure because simply put: <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">IT WAS THE FUTURE</span> </strong>and (most) everyone was definitely not invited OR welcomed.</p>
<p>people from the cock rock scene would ask me why i never ONCE came over to hang out with them and my only answer was: <em><strong>BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE WRONG PLACE WRONG SCENE WRONG SETTING WRONG MUSIC WRONG CLOTHES WRONG HAIR WRONG WOMEN WRONG ATTITUDE WRONG EVERYTHING</strong></em>.</p>
<p>and time has proven that to be correct. whereas that cock rock scene died a death the spawns born from and because of this scene like Trent Reznor & Marilyn Manson still exist to this day. but also remember when Brian Warner is interviewing <strong>My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult</strong> (from this same scene) before he ever formed and became Marilyn Manson that occurs <strong>AFTER</strong> all of this. none of us are like <em><strong>HIM</strong></em>. he's like <em><strong>US</strong></em> with no disrespect intended. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/cc501e0e645a7c0c155e12109d6c6332c17bbb8a/original/front-242-live-at-medusas-chicago-flyer.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI0MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="242" width="600" /></p>
<p>a variety of bands like D.A.F., Die Krupps, Skinny Puppy, Nitzer Ebb, Ministry, Front 242 & The Invincible Spirit (and others i won't try to present a complete list) were already fully established but everyone else was late to this particular party. all i know is there was a notable period for a year or two where i walked in and out of Medusa's each week and no one on the planet had ever uttered the words <strong>Nine Inch Nails</strong> including Trent Reznor himself.</p>
<p>to me & this is my opinion i know people who actually know their shit will start dropping names like Throbbing Gristle, Cabaret Voltaire, Clock DVA, Nocturnal Emissions, Whitehouse, Nurse With Wound, SPK, Leather Nun, Big Black and a bunch of others but whereas they had the concept and vibe down they didn't have the songs. Not one of those bands had any body of work no matter how rebellious, deliberately obnoxious, or unique they attempted to be that could stand up to the visceral intensity of <strong>The Land of Rape & Honey </strong>from start to finish. all those bands and anyone else can say anything they want about Al but he kicked all their asses by that point. </p>
<p>there were only two distinct groups in this corner of the musical world by/in 1987: <strong>AL and EVERYONE ELSE</strong>. </p>
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when i think<em><strong> why didn't i just move to Hollywood back then</strong></em> i remember <em><strong>oh yeah that's why</strong></em>. i would have been standing around some Hollywood club <strong><em>any</em></strong> Hollywood club wondering what was going on in this building. i would have missed sneaking in through the window at the top of the fire escape around back. i would have missed the endless <strong>Alice in Wonderland</strong> found up those stairs. i would have missed all those inimitable characters. i think it's a real estate office now....the fucking irony since 3257 N. Sheffield is hallowed ground.
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<div>it was <strong>WAY</strong> more than just a dance club. that was the 1st place i ever saw this video. <strong>MTV</strong> sure as hell was never going to play it. that opening bass line kicked in full volume and i was completely stoned & drunk on Mad Dog or Brass Monkey or whatever other swill was procured from <strong>1000 Liquors</strong> that night standing between the 2 giant video screens upstairs and i experienced <em><strong>what the fuck is this shit ??? that was the best thing i have EVER seen in my life</strong></em>. </div>
<p> </p>
<p>i invented <strong>OMG</strong> that night. didn't ya know ????</p>
<p><strong>i wanted to combust.</strong></p>
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<p>when Medusa's would close at 2AM we would move the party to the infamous <strong>Pink Palace Motel </strong>located on the not-so-glamorous South Side about 15-20 minutes outside of the "city" city. 10 or so of us would chip in $6-7 dollars and rent a room until checkout the next day at 11. we had to take what we could get but if it was available i always preferred the room with the space pod bed. The red velour room with the heart-shaped bed was always a reliable runner up.</p>
<p><strong>DISCLAIMER: </strong> it's not quite the same seeing it in this picture with the lights on. that's not the place i visited. besides who turns on the lights in a seedy sex motel except for the asshole who snapped this picture ??? not me said the proper degenerate so turn off the fucking lights, let's climb in the tub fully clothed, crack that bottle, put a shitty beer chaser in my other hand, and if you've got something else to ingest we can discuss that as well. <strong>THANKS</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a07797f8ec1b15b4b12351b26533d2c85c149369/original/pink-palace-space-pod.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQyMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="420" width="600" /> </p>
<p><strong>Medusa's</strong> left the world (and it seemed like such a sudden death at the time) RIGHT after that <strong>"Kurt Cobain"</strong> thing and it never slept with any of those whores known as <strong>MySpace</strong> or <strong>FagBook</strong> or <strong>Twitter</strong> or <strong>Instagram</strong> or <strong>cell phones. </strong>no lame cracker ever "checked in" for their social network and not one photo was ever tagged.</p>
<p>in fact now that i consider it i can not think of anything lamer than being some asshole walking around that place taking pictures with a bunch of other assholes mugging for the camera making peace and metal signs. the <strong>LAST</strong> thing on my mind would have been <em><strong>oh wait i need to go grab my camera </strong></em>before we jumped in the car & headed out. </p>
<p>that's the come-lately thinking of some social network wannabe who would have been too intimidated to enter at that time in <strong>REAL </strong>history if truth be told. besides who would i have needed to show what happened ?? everyone who needed to know would have been standing right there with me.</p>
<p>funny thing is there was never any real danger. once inside you would have encountered some of the kindest most intelligent individuals who operated like a true tribe for the one real agenda at hand which was having the <strong>BEST</strong> time but no one wanted the wrong people to <strong>KNOW</strong> that...and the shaved heads, combat boots, and not-so-smily faces never hindered the process either.</p>
<p> the social media <strong>LOOK AT ME ME ME</strong> roaches never got to ruin this place like they ruin every great secret now. it will always be pure and free of those come-lately <strong>STDs</strong> and <strong>politically correct worms</strong> and that pleases me.</p>
<p>at least for me <strong>Traxx</strong> at 63rd & Pulaski would replace Medusa's for a little while. it was great for what it was. along with a few familiar faces i met a whole new gang of characters (those people you <em><strong>knew</strong></em> but never <strong>EVER</strong> saw in the light of any day) but it was also in no-man's-land too far from the city to make a proper dent so it was never quite the same.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e83d6f796dffe294ab7af5ce96cb1c1774198a97/original/the-meatmen-redd-kross-medusas-chicago-flyer.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ3OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="479" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e3cd2443185541492f17fef6988e9eb73e73d50a/original/dri-kreator-holy-terror-medusas-flyer.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc4NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="787" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3fc4721ca07cc855903409d08bd4126787b1360b/original/traxx-chicago-63rd-and-pulaski.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUyNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="525" width="600" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063915
2014-08-18T17:00:00-07:00
2014-08-18T19:09:11-07:00
Greatest Country On Earth
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/396e627ee317b9e8b1985cd2774301c97c8a207f/original/greatest-country-on-earth.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTk4eDM1MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="351" width="598" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063914
2014-08-13T17:00:00-07:00
2014-08-14T09:01:19-07:00
Richard Wilbur quote
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/85b75d2f743c944a942b436128637371466b7741/original/the-power-of-the-genie-is-in-its-confinement.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYxMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="610" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063913
2014-07-08T17:00:00-07:00
2017-12-11T21:19:24-08:00
Painted on Ketamine
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rrdFI39RMG8" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>that's definitely an interesting drug.</p>
<p>in small doses it's just your friendly neighborhood <em><strong>dissociative</strong></em>. you can "block" the conscious part of your brain and the detachment from your physical body and external world is an incredible thing to experience.</p>
<p>if you have or are still wondering why anyone would ever dress up in a furry costume and go dancing your <em><strong>K cherry</strong></em> is obviously still fully unpopped.</p>
<p>but if you go too far with it it will take on a whole other set of <em><strong>psychonaut dimensions</strong></em>. that <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>K-hole</strong></span> (as people refer to it) is a completely unique hallucinogenic experience. you'll start seeing math equations floating through the air. that movie <em><strong>Tron</strong></em> has nothing on this shit. </p>
<p><strong>DISCLAIMER:</strong> tread with caution kids....</p>
<p>and do something but listen to house music when you're on it....not that there's anything wrong with being a <em><strong>moth drawn to that flame</strong></em>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/87c93a6367f4c5f748c02e2e688df47ac988826c/original/painted-on-ketamine-1-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDg1MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="851" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7862bf05c4e446e3ed9061854e514c2e2d20d2cb/original/painted-on-ketamine-2-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="803" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0d7002b3089617c0caac48a6097aff5dc5bce8a1/original/painted-on-ketamine-3-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDcxNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="717" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/56477fe002ca4c1e44270fd66a3967dcd79bcb73/original/painted-on-ketamine-4-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="775" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/63eb35c011f2f12fdc76360ebd208e35a9f08b08/original/painted-on-ketamine-5-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/26c245da958d7d324b2f7740dd30efabd2e185c7/original/painted-on-ketamine-6-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgxMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="811" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fcec29c805a0ff90d96ec9fa3cb3315f5025462f/original/painted-on-ketamine-7-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063912
2014-07-06T17:00:00-07:00
2014-07-08T18:15:22-07:00
SO WHAT !! (one of the best phrases of 1985)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3a58c3679ba73bee83f9682d1a38ca22d08761cf/original/andy-warhol-keith-haring-madonna-on-nude-pix-so-what.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="451" width="600" /></p>
<p>this is definitely one of the best ever examples of a celebrity diffusing a media created scandal. when the press found the nude photos she never attempted to hide they expected to extort some form of <em><strong>begging for forgiveness</strong></em> (like they'd been used to with most of the previous grovelers) and what did they receive instead ?? </p>
<p><strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">SO WHAT</span></strong>. </p>
<p>story over. </p>
<p>you can love her. you can hate her. you can anything and everything in between but that shit was fuckin' <strong>GLORIOUS</strong>.</p>
<p>oh you're "so offended" by something on <strong>Facebook</strong> ???</p>
<p><strong>SO WHAT</strong>.</p>
<p>take that shit back to the amateurs ===></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Iooe0QCxTUE" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/1zQ9bu0ASZI" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063911
2014-07-02T17:00:00-07:00
2014-07-03T01:40:30-07:00
Hillary Clinton stars as the Penguin in the new Batman movie...Katy Perry writes new theme song
<p><strong>The Penguin</strong> will have a new theme song for the new <em><strong>Batman</strong> </em>movie.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f70eef4182c55cddb0fb6e1db6581eff7152c764/original/hillary-clinton-is-the-penguin-from-batman.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQyNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="424" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/97c2fc6622cada3175bfc5011cf76662110951c1/original/katy-perry-and-hillary-clinton-i-just-kissed-a-hurl-and-i-hated-it.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAxeDcyMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="722" width="601" /></p>
<p>are we going to trade <strong>The Joker</strong> for <strong>The Penguin</strong> in this predictable <em><strong>Ameri-con</strong></em> franchise ??? let's see what/who the <em><strong>gullible sleepwalking </strong></em><em><strong>bootlickers</strong></em> cheer next.</p>
<p>hopefully they all won't be as clueless as <strong>Ms. Perry</strong>. i wonder what it's like to have a reported net worth of over <em><strong>100 million dollars</strong></em> and still not be able to buy a shred of political class in this particular case of shameless glad-handing ???</p>
<p>anyway i just kissed a hurl and i<strong> <em>HATED</em> </strong>it.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063910
2014-06-27T17:00:00-07:00
2016-07-20T19:13:17-07:00
Warner Bros and then I Was a Teenage Obama Bootlicker
<p>i'd like to add this chapter of my book for that dwindling minority who <em><strong>still</strong></em> do not understand my position when it comes to this man.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/bbb4f17a16a3bdb2e3fe245fa7763cb6ce453662/original/obama-the-fraud.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p>there's a reason i'm going to explain this at great length. maybe a few more people will <em><strong>GET IT</strong></em>. please bear with me if you give a shit and if not what difference does it make (?) so i'll carry on since it's <em><strong>MY</strong></em> story and i'm proud of it except some of the end that is.</p>
<p>i'll eventually get to how i ended up working for the <strong><em>Democratic National Committee</em></strong> and in effect both <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>Barack Obama AND Hillary Clinton</strong></span>.</p>
<p>around this time i lived in the middle of <strong>Hollywood</strong>. the corner of <strong>Hollywood and Vine</strong> was a couple blocks over here and <strong>L.A. film</strong> <strong>school, Ameoba Records, and the CNN building</strong> were a couple blocks over there. i lived one block south of <strong>Hollywood Blvd</strong> where the <strong>Walk of Fame</strong> (stars) has already started to flow. walk a few more blocks and i could people watch outside the <strong>Chinese Theatre</strong> with Marilyn's hand and heel prints right over ====> <strong>there</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3e6dca7280838ec1a2a49ad2886770176a98c5d8/original/chinese-theatre-hollywood.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="392" width="600" /> </p>
<p>from late <strong>2006 to the end of 2007</strong> i was acting full-time. i never worked as much as that year. it's <em><strong>crazy</strong></em> how many things i fit into that short period of time. most days i worked at <strong>Warner Bros.</strong><strong> Studios</strong> as well as a variety of other studios in a handful of <strong>movies</strong> and about <strong>20 TV shows</strong>.</p>
<p>if there was any break in that action i would go get paid to watch the Price Is Right, Deal or No Deal, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, American Gladiators, Don't Forget The Lyrics, any other game show, any and every talk show, and things like the <strong>MTV Awards</strong> and other awards shows like that and on and on and on.</p>
<p>i was even in the crowd for some of the basketball scenes in that Will Farrell movie <strong>Semi-Pro</strong> and went to the World Cyber (video) Game Championship 4-5 years ago. i did not give a shit what it was as long as it paid. </p>
<p>if there was a club scene in any <strong>TV show or pilot</strong> i would get booked every time. i did so much shit i honestly can not even remember all the names of everything. it's just one long extended blur at this point.</p>
<p>one of those club scenes was for a pilot listed as <em><strong>The Untitled Liz Meriwether Project</strong></em> on IMDb. i spent the bulk of the previous evening drinking sake at <strong>Toi on Sunset</strong> (where i used to work the door). after they closed at <strong>4AM</strong> i went home and decided to have a few more beers and go straight to set. </p>
<p>right before one of the shots i ran outside, barfed in between a couple white <strong>Escalades</strong> with atrocious gold rims, ran back inside, and shot the scene.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b0596ae89ffd428fac95215c90a280ed05fc4fd8/original/toi-on-sunset-hollywood.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p>as long as it was liquid = <em><strong>barfing was my business and business was good</strong></em>. </p>
<p>that pilot was <em><strong>HORRIBLE</strong></em> so i'm not surprised it went nowhere. but then i thought the same exact thing about the <em><strong>Chuck</strong></em> pilot and that went on for <strong>5</strong> seasons winning <strong>2</strong> <em><strong>Primetime Emmys</strong></em>. NEWS FLASH: it still <em><strong>SUCKED</strong></em>.</p>
<p>some of my journal entries from that time period are <a style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;" href="/warner-bros" target="blank" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page">here</a>. </p>
<p><strong>NOTE:</strong> i have never published an <strong>IMDb</strong> page because i was hired and paid with my birth name a name from a man i <strong>DESPISE</strong> and have since legally changed. </p>
<p>calling me that name is like calling my deceased grandmother a whore. </p>
<p>i don't recommend it. </p>
<p>so i'm certainly not going to have that name up on <strong>IMDb </strong>ya dig ??? </p>
<p>any time anyone wants to see my pay slips i'll be more than happy to show them to you. i have every single pay stub because that's my resume for agents and <em><strong>Central Casting</strong></em> can verify any and all of it since they're the ones who <em><strong>really</strong></em> hired me.</p>
<p>i have not worked for them for a while but they are still one of my de facto agents. i can go back to work <em><strong>any</strong></em> time i wish. if you can get your foot in the door and you can show up on time <em><strong>every</strong></em> time ready to go with <strong>ZERO</strong> excuses or <strong>Lohan</strong> stunts you will always be able to find work in that part of this town even if it's just small roles in the background. (sorry Lindsay) </p>
<p><em><strong>but right now ===> i'd rather be making music</strong></em>. </p>
<p>the main chunk of my work during this time period was episodes 12-22 on the show <em><strong><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0485842/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="blank" data-imported="1">Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip</a></strong></em> (click it for the IMDb page) on which i played a "writer" and part of the crew of the fictional staff working backstage and around the offices. i never spoke. i was just there and being "seen" was not on my agenda since the Ugg-booted wardrobe cunt would always dress me down so i would look more like the average fuck on the street. </p>
<p>to be honest i just wanted the paycheck. it was <em><strong>work </strong></em>if catered breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, candy, ice cream truck out back, reefer breaks, listening to my iPod, reading books, writing, sitting on my ass talking and laughing with most of the other featured background players, with brief flashes walking around on camera every-so-often can be called <em><strong>work</strong></em>...not to mention all the free <strong>DVDs</strong> and a virtual pass to explore every fucking inch of that lot.</p>
<p>ever walked through a dark deserted <em><strong>ER</strong></em> set ??? i have.</p>
<p>i was working on other things at the same time so it was not uncommon to find 3-4 checks in my mailbox on any given day. it was not making me <em><strong>rich</strong></em> by real $$ standards but it was way more money than i needed for a short while there. </p>
<p>(say this like that <em><strong>SNL</strong></em> Miley Cyrus skit) <em><strong>it was pretty cool</strong></em>.</p>
<p>i'm in one episode of <em><strong>Gilmore Girls</strong></em> carrying a sign in a hay maze at some town festival. they just needed a few extra hands last minute one day and i knew i would never be seen or would have never done it. i hate that show like the stink of fish. i even pissed in their restaurant and i don't mean the bathroom in the restaurant in mean the restaurant itself, the booths, the bar, and whatever else i/we hit that day. what can i say other than it was an <em><strong>Animal House</strong></em> moment ?? check that journal <a href="/warner-bros" target="blank" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page">here</a>. true story. </p>
<p>but one hour later there'd be another <strong>$</strong><strong>200</strong> check on the way. </p>
<p>if people liked you and/or someone would vouch for you there was always a new/next hustle to be found. </p>
<p>a few years before this a production assistant from <em><strong>Dancing With the Stars</strong></em> came around and literally <em><strong>begged</strong></em> to pay us to fill their audience the morning before their 1st shit episode. </p>
<p>we thought <em><strong>Dance Fever</strong></em> with washed up stars and sports people ?? </p>
<p>yeah good luck with that and we said <em><strong>no thanks</strong></em>. now one of those tickets is like a fucking <em><strong>free pass to heaven </strong></em>for that cracker demographic. who knew ??</p>
<p><em><strong>never underestimate the poor tastes of the 'Merican audience</strong></em>. </p>
<p>i don't miss the long days. <strong>7AM</strong> call times were completely standard and leaving sometime around <strong>9-10PM</strong> was usually the case. i would leave and go have dinner in <strong>Hollywood</strong> with my girlfriend at the time, go home, pop open some wine and a beer or 5, and be lucky to be sleeping at <strong>2-3</strong> in the morning before i had to be up at <strong>6</strong> and make my way back to <strong>Burbank</strong> on time.</p>
<p>i only worked <em><strong>Mon-Thurs</strong></em> but it still took some stamina and 3-4 <strong>Aleve</strong> and few bottles of water to get my head out of the clouds each morning. </p>
<p>the show's basic premise was a drama about the backstage of a show like <em><strong>Saturday Night Live</strong></em>. for the most part it wasn't a <em><strong>haha funny</strong></em> show it was a drama that i actually enjoyed as a viewer until they started coupling everyone up like a soap opera in a thinly veiled attempt to boost ratings.</p>
<p>i used to watch it during lunch on the big screen in our main sound stage. </p>
<p>that was the <em><strong>official</strong></em> lunch called after the catered lunch that had already arrived. it can get confusing.</p>
<p>my kitchen cabinets were full of <em><strong>every</strong></em> goddamn microwave this or instant that and the silverware and glasses were getting in the way of all the gum and candy and granola bars and cookies and Hostess and fruit roll-ups and those mini cereal boxes and chips and those <em><strong>damn hot fries</strong></em>. i was the king of those fuckin' hot fries. i ate so many of them i can't even look at the package anymore. i'm covering my eyes right now as i post this picture.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/54f30f4d498a7fbb39ea77b5205dea2a591fd673/original/andy-capps-hot-fries.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI2NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="267" width="600" /></p>
<p>it's no wonder we were so over-budget. </p>
<p>that's literally a different era of television. times have changed. now less than <em><strong>8 years later</strong></em> our <strong>22-24 million</strong> viewers each week (that the higher-ups were bitching about) would now easily make us the biggest episodic show on <strong>TV</strong> and would virtually double, triple, quadruple what <em><strong>any</strong></em> 2nd place show like <em><strong>The Good Wife</strong></em> or <em><strong>America's Got Talent</strong></em> could usually come up even if it's a finale. <em><strong>Heroes</strong></em> (i did 4 episodes of that) which followed us was kicking our <em><strong>ass</strong></em> with about <strong>35 million</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>bastards</strong>.</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p>i spent my days with most of that ensemble cast and crew (mostly from <em><strong>The West Wing</strong></em>) . <strong>Aaron Sorkin</strong> (now an Oscar winner for <em><strong>The Social Network</strong></em>...imagine a laid back John Hughes-type guy), <strong>Matt Perry</strong> (didn't care to know him at all...not my kind of guy. people said he was sober at the time i say he was snortin' rails in his trailer but that's just an honest guess), <strong>Amanda Peet</strong> (she was about 4 months pregnant when i started so i would only see her here and there), <strong>Brad Whitford</strong> (cool), <strong>S</strong><strong>teven Weber </strong>(cool), <strong>Tim Busfield</strong> (the coolest), <strong>D.L. Hughley</strong> (hysterical), <strong>Sarah Paulson</strong> (not my cup of tea at the time though i've grown to appreciate her work...it's kinda funny that she played the straight-laced Christian on the show when in real life she's a foul-mouthed, belching dyke and i mean that with love), <strong>Mark McKinney</strong> (from The Kids in the Hall), <strong>Simon Helberg</strong> (it's so cool that he went on to find great success with <em><strong>The Big Bang Theory</strong></em>. we 1st witnessed his stellar <strong>Nicholas Cage</strong> impersonation on our show), and the list goes on and on but i'll stop there.</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p>cameras are a big <em><strong>no-no</strong></em> on the lot so it's not like i took any pictures and posted them to <strong>MySpace</strong> or <strong>FagBook</strong> not that i would have even if i could. </p>
<p>that's <em><strong>no-no</strong></em> <em><strong>#2</strong></em> unless you're a tourist or shameless fan.</p>
<p>i was asked to be on this show by the wardrobe dept. (who i really liked except for the one who dressed us). they pulled me aside during a break outside when i was working on <em><strong>Ocean's 13</strong></em> in another sound stage nearby.</p>
<p>i was in the casino that day. it was the <em><strong>earthquake scene</strong></em>. that casino was incredible and that's coming from a 2-time Las Vegas resident. they spared no expense. there was water trickling through the glass floor beneath you. </p>
<p>it was <em><strong>insane</strong></em>. </p>
<p><strong>Al Pacino's</strong> bad cologne stink was still fresh in my nose that afternoon...and oh there's <strong>Brad Pitt</strong> and <strong>Matt Damon</strong> and <strong>George Clooney</strong> on the other sound stage before that and blah blah fucking blah.</p>
<p>this acting detour was just another part of this long strange trip. if you think this is "name-dropping" you don't live in Hollywood. maybe it's that in your world but to me it was another <strong>day at a <em>long & sometimes boring office</em></strong>. </p>
<p><strong>seriously</strong>.</p>
<p>i worked right here. <strong>19</strong> was our main stage although we had 2 others around the corner. across the "street" was <em><strong>Gilmore Girls</strong></em> and down the "street" was <em><strong>Two and a Half Men</strong></em>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e0c4f891bbd1a50634bf3e8f9b399a2e54361c8d/original/warner-brother-lot-soundstages.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="358" width="600" /> </p>
<p>i walked by <strong>Charlie Sheen's</strong> shiny burgundy Porsche almost every day i worked there. that notion that he was somehow unprofessional or whatever was and still is absolute bullshit. i would be on time and be arriving after he did. his executive producer was and still is a complete douche bag. </p>
<p><em><strong>yes</strong></em> he put on a show after the infamous blow-up we all remember but that's all that was <em><strong>really</strong></em> about. he said fuck you to them <em><strong>AND</strong></em> that part of <strong>'Merica</strong> that sucks tabloid cock because he could. it <em><strong>really</strong></em> was as simple as that.</p>
<p>the bewildered herd out on the street can mock people like him <em><strong>all they want</strong></em> but trust me he does not need to earn another cent for the rest of his life. </p>
<p>who's the joke now ??? oh yeah they're buying the <em><strong>People</strong></em> magazine standing with all the other <em><strong>worker bee drips</strong></em> in the grocery store as i type this....that is if they don't have to be tending the farm at their shit jobs instead.</p>
<p>yeah those people are the <em><strong>great big winners </strong></em>lemme tell ya.</p>
<p><strong>Charlie</strong> better go suck his thumb in the corner.</p>
<p>but i digress..................</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p><em><strong>S</strong></em><em><strong>tudio 60</strong></em> finished the season and was cancelled after that final episode. it had all come so easy that i honestly figured i would just find another show and push repeat.</p>
<p>in <strong>(fall) 2007</strong> there was a writer's strike which fucked everything up for a person like me who was just dabbling in that industry because i could. </p>
<p>almost every show except for late night TV, game shows, and a few other things came to a complete <strong>STOP </strong>for that entire season<strong>.</strong></p>
<p>what did they turn to to fill whatever slots they could fill ?? the answer is <em><strong>unscripted TV</strong></em> that did not require much writing and was cheap to produce. </p>
<p>of course they existed before but this (2008) is when the initial rumblings about <strong>Jersey Shore</strong> popped out of its womb and the siblings and cousins like the <strong>Housewives of (pick the town</strong>), and <strong>Keeping Up with the Kardasians</strong> (which actually predates the strike and Jersey Shore) and a hundred other illegitimate like-minded clones flooded that already over-populated <strong>"reality"</strong> scene.</p>
<p>that part of the industry needed a vasectomy. still does. instead it received an endless shot of <em><strong>trash-for-trash</strong></em> steroids (not that i do not enjoy some of it). </p>
<p>it dismantled the old guard like <strong>Nirvana</strong> in '91 but there was no <strong>Smells Like Teen Spirit</strong> to back it up.</p>
<p>see the timeline now ??? thank the writers. they perpetuated their own (partial) neutering right when <strong>YouTube</strong> is picking up speed and <strong>Netflix</strong> is introducing streaming on its customers' computers. </p>
<p><em><strong>smooth move</strong></em>. </p>
<p><strong>P.S.</strong> wanna know what the writer's were striking for ?? they thought their base salaries were <em><strong>too low</strong></em>. wanna know where that base began for the lowest men on that totem pole ??? <strong>$3500 a week</strong> and they even received this pay when they were not working in many cases. of course there was a bit more to it than that but.......</p>
<p><strong>YEAH</strong>.</p>
<p>greedy mother fuckers who for the most part wrote <em><strong>shit</strong></em> scripts for <em><strong>shit</strong></em> shows to amuse a <em><strong>shit</strong></em> audience. welcome to nirvana.</p>
<p>why shouldn't the audience watch <strong>Jersey Shore</strong> instead ??? </p>
<p>i figured <em><strong>FUCK IT</strong></em>. everything will be back to normal soon right ?? </p>
<p><strong>nope</strong>. </p>
<p>the actor's strike soon followed like clockwork right after the writer's strike and fucked up the whole <em><strong>next</strong></em> season. around this time i squeezed in a few episodes of <strong>The Sarah Connor Chronicles</strong> and a few more pilots but that was about it.</p>
<p>recently i've realized that this was <em><strong>exactly</strong></em> like the economy today in June 2014. the life just got sucked out of it and/or <em><strong>maybe it was time for it die</strong></em>. </p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p> </p>
<p>i was <strong>spent</strong> so i decided to take a crack at non-profit...specifically the <em><strong>Democratic National Commitee</strong></em>. i had worked for the <strong>DNC</strong> office by <strong>UCLA</strong> before so this was nothing new to me.</p>
<p>just like my boys' 15-16 state tennis title in Illinois, my politically conservative (and connected) family, and my time spent studying economics at one of the toughest schools in the nation <strong><em>before</em></strong> i left for art school i still had other viable options.</p>
<p>there's more to me than what i appear to be today. </p>
<p><em><strong>don't judge a book by its cover</strong></em> definitely applies here.</p>
<p>i didn't spend my formative years in the washroom with the rest of the burnouts so i picked up a guitar and recorded a bunch of songs because there was nothing else i could do with my life. </p>
<p>that was just the <em><strong>coolest</strong></em> option so i <em><strong>chose</strong></em> that.</p>
<p>as a kid i had watched my <strong>great grandfather</strong> who was the mayor of his small town for over 60 years. i had done mailings for years for my local state senator <strong>Dennis Hastert</strong> who would go on to lead the Senate majority and become one of Bush's fat cat cronies. i had done mailings for <strong>Mothers Against Drunk Driving </strong>and<strong> Daddy Bush</strong>. i had thrown <strong>Rock the Vote</strong> parties for <strong>MTV</strong> to bring out the younger voters and help get <strong>Clinton</strong> elected. my one key mentor was a political columnist. and i specifically remember sitting in a Denny's near Chicago listening to one of my best friends tell me why <strong>Al Gore</strong> should be president about 10+ years before he had it stolen from him and a few years before we would see him become the <strong>Vice President</strong>.</p>
<p>i had always been interested and involved in politics in one way or another and after 8 years of the <strong>Bush doctrine</strong> i figured jumping back in was the right thing to do.</p>
<p>i didn't want to canvass neighborhoods and randomly knock on doors because i think that's incredibly invasive so i did the next (worst) invasive thing i could do and worked the phones in the <strong>CNN</strong> building (the black building behind Amoeba Records) on Hollywood Blvd.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8833d08c4606207636ff02690a0d8c0198dda747/original/amoeba-records-hollywood.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="375" width="600" /></p>
<p>the pay was <em><strong>shit</strong> </em>compared to Warner Bros. which was inevitable and i had "quit" music for a while so i needed to do something else.</p>
<p>i absolutely <em><strong>hated</strong></em> the work. it truly was/is a thankless job and the word <em><strong>enough</strong> </em>as it relates to hours spent and $-amounts raised is not a part of those people's vocabulary. <em><strong>more more more</strong></em> is all they know and understand when we're discussing this particular subject which is <em><strong>prudent</strong></em> in its own sick way for the <em><strong>auction</strong></em> at hand. </p>
<p>there's no time to let the machine cool. it's just <em><strong>go go go go go </strong></em>and if you need to come out of the game they don't give a shit. they always have another body <em><strong>any</strong></em> body waiting on the sidelines to replace you. </p>
<p>i sat next to a former <strong>MTV VJ</strong> who i will refrain from naming for reasons i'll get to later. he made everything more fun and i'm glad he was there. </p>
<p>each day our time was divided between raising money for <strong>Hillary</strong> and the <strong>DNC</strong> itself which was supposed to mean the entire Democratic ticket from top to bottom but really meant <strong>Barry Obama</strong>.</p>
<p><em><strong>c'mon let's keep it real</strong></em>. there's no point in bullshitting at this point.</p>
<p>through that end of winter, spring, and early summer <strong>Hillary</strong> and <strong>Obama</strong> were virtually tied. that was an <em><strong>extremely</strong></em> close race. people often have revisionist memories with things like this. we were still a <em><strong>LONG</strong></em> way from <strong>Obama's</strong> nomination speech at the convention and even further from the weeping, duped idiots the night of the election.</p>
<p>it wasn't like the whole world screamed <em><strong>Obama's</strong> <strong>our man</strong></em> from the beginning. </p>
<p>all that <em><strong>rock star</strong></em> shit came later and ironically <strong>Hillary</strong> would end up being one of the key players in that spin zone. there was a great divide between what i <em><strong>knew</strong></em> about these people and who and what the public <em><strong>thought</strong></em> they were. </p>
<p>and that divide just kept getting larger and larger and larger as they sold the <em><strong>empty political artifice</strong></em> more and more and the morons lapped it up like <em><strong>pigs attacking a trough</strong></em>.</p>
<p>they were <em><strong>rabid and psycho</strong></em>. even the rest of the world fell victim to and was wrapped up in the nonsense because most of our generations had never seen anything like that before. </p>
<p>maybe no one had. i can only speak for me and mine. </p>
<p>i know i'd honestly never seen <strong>'Merica</strong> through that exact lens before. </p>
<p>i knew they were gullible idiots who would fall for just about anything because they live with this false (and blind) assumption that <em><strong>swears</strong></em> the U.S. is just <em><strong>good</strong></em> and <em><strong>honest</strong></em> no matter what but this was beyond that. they were like the most <em><strong>desperate, pathetic, needy whores</strong></em> i had ever seen who would fuck or suck any cock through the gloryhole as long as the person on the other side of the wall sang the <em><strong>right</strong></em> tune.</p>
<p><strong>Bush</strong> and <strong>9/11</strong> and the <strong>Iraq war </strong>and whatever else really did a number on them and they were willing to suspend reality for <em><strong>any</strong></em> fantasy that fit their individual desires. </p>
<p><strong>it changed me forever</strong>.</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p> </p>
<p>early on i already knew that <em><strong>3 of the 4</strong></em> men who had claimed to be <strong>Obama's</strong> gay lovers and coke-snortin' buddies had ended up dead within about a <em><strong>45 day period</strong></em>.</p>
<p> one died of <strong>AIDS</strong> but the other two were murdered execution-style.</p>
<p> that was around late <strong>2007</strong> a few months before i started working for the <strong>DNC</strong>. </p>
<p>i can now honestly say that i thought it was <em><strong>odd</strong></em> (definitely). all <strong>3</strong> men went to the same Chicago church. that church was Obama's church for <strong>20</strong> years or so...the church where <strong>Jeremy Wright</strong> was the pastor. </p>
<p>the one i remember the most was <em><strong>Donald Young</strong></em> the choir director who was cut down with an automatic weapon in complete mob-hit fashion but i did not give it much more thought than a <em style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><strong>Sopranos</strong></em> episode. i made bullshit excuses like typical Ameri-con trash and still went to work for that scumbag anyway. </p>
<p>i was wrong.</p>
<p><em><strong>DEAD WRONG</strong></em>.</p>
<p>it was not until a few years later that a journalist named <strong>Wayne Madsen</strong> opened a whole other can of worms during his investigation. the most complete post i have ever read about it that includes many things i/we did not know at the time can be found <a style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace;" href="http://patdollard.com/2011/11/mother-of-obamas-murdered-gay-lover-speaks-up/" target="_blank" data-imported="1">here</a>.</p>
<p>i still wonder if that was the real reason <strong>Jeremy Wright</strong> was demonized in the press and <strong>Obama</strong> denounced him. that in effect made everything about and surrounding that church <em><strong>CRAZY</strong></em> and America would dismiss it like they always do.</p>
<p>all their eyes will concentrate on the crazy pastor and no one will ever bother to mention the 3 dead guys. think about that for a second: that last bit would have made the church even crazier but they conveniently left it out.</p>
<p><em><strong>NOT A FUCKIN' PEEP</strong></em>. </p>
<p>and sliding any of this past the <strong>'Merican</strong> public is about as difficult as not getting caught flippin' off a blind man. they'll do <em><strong>zero</strong></em> research, make a flippant decision about something like this based on whatever emotion they wish to guide them, and they'll <em><strong>close the case forever</strong></em> without another worry in the world about it.</p>
<p>they're the <em><strong>ultimate damning news story garbage men</strong></em> for our politicians. </p>
<p></p><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_7piGy0u43c" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>it rarely takes more than one card (in this case Jeremy Wright) to fall to tumble the rest of the house of cards as far as Ameri-con perception goes. that's <em><strong>Ameri-con 101</strong></em>. and if you think about it almost every person with no idea what this is about will <em><strong>AUTOMATICALLY</strong></em> assume that this is all cleared up for no other reason than <em><strong>Obama looks and sounds convincing and that's all they need to close this case against him</strong></em>. </p>
<p>one would think they all have <em><strong>never</strong></em> seen a movie where one of the "good guy" characters ended up the real criminal or murderer at the end and they <em><strong>never saw it coming</strong></em>. </p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p>this is why i know the <em><strong>lost souls</strong></em> still making excuses for this lying piece of shit so well. for a brief window of time i was one of them and i had an inside seat that pretty much gave (and still gives) me a clearer view than <strong>95%</strong> of them as well unless of course sitting in the stands somehow trumps playing on the field.</p>
<p>i raised a <strong><em>shitload of money</em></strong> (in technical terms) for that man and <em><strong>still</strong></em> did not vote for him or anyone else for that matter partially based upon what i had witnessed with my own eyes and heard with my own ears. i sat in on weekly conference calls from <strong>Howard Dean's</strong> office listening to their bullshit strategies and manipulations but some loser from <strong><em>any town USA</em></strong> who's never even dipped his/her toe in the political ring is going to tell me <em><strong>how things were and still are </strong></em>???</p>
<p><strong>SURE</strong>. </p>
<p>typical</p>
<p>predictable</p>
<p>unoriginal </p>
<p><strong>Ameri-con</strong> ploy is all that is and will ever be. better stick to the break room at <strong>WalMart</strong> with that pathetic simpleton shit. </p>
<p>not that stating that will stop lowly <strong>Ameri-cons</strong> from trying to play that bullshit card. they're too used to being surrounded by morons who mirror them to have figured out how weak a play that is in any world of reality. </p>
<p><em><strong>sounds good</strong></em> is the cornerstone of their "research" in far too many cases.</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p>at the beginning of <strong>June 2008 </strong>Obama (still neck-and-neck with Hillary)was supposed to fly from Dulles airport in D.C. to Chicago. the <em><strong>entire</strong></em><strong> </strong>plane was full of domestic and international press. he disappeared from that flight and before they bothered to tell everyone on the plane (who were only there to fly with Obama) they locked the doors and flew those people into the sky not allowing them to get off the plane and of course follow <strong>Obama</strong> wherever he was headed.</p>
<p>this little blurb pretty much covers it. </p>
<p>the rest of this particular article is <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/06/09/532977/-Barack-Obama-and-Hillary-Clinton-attend-Bilderberg-meeting-in-Chantilly-VA-reporters-kidnapped#" target="blank" data-imported="1">HERE</a>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ac793e22462ab267a3b0e1c9f0ec4a26e3d7f4b3/original/obama-disappears-from-flight-to-chicago.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMyOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="329" width="600" /></p>
<p>i can no longer find the <strong>YouTube</strong> video of Obama's press secretary <strong>Robert Gibbs</strong> lying to the reporters after the plane had taken off. i would not be surprised if it was deliberately gonged because the press people's questions were <em><strong>so</strong></em> damning and he honestly did come across like a <em><strong>sleazy used car salesman </strong></em>complete with the snarky smile and evasive answers that answered nothing.</p>
<p>and of course the <em><strong>mainstream press</strong></em> barely mentioned it if even at all. the fact that most people on the street can not tell you/me/anyone anything about this speaks volumes especially since it was <em><strong>so bizarre</strong></em>. </p>
<p>within days <strong>Hillary </strong>was not only trumpeting <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em><strong>Obama's our man</strong></em></span> but she was out on the road serving her master(s) like the little fake-smiling campaigning whore she truly is, was, and will always be.</p>
<p>i quit that same week and became a director at <strong>Environment California </strong>which as it turned out was only interested in spinning every single cause into why someone should vote for <strong>Barack Obama</strong>. i quit them too after that summer and never returned to that type of non-profit work and never will again even if i'm starving.</p>
<p>just like a former drug addict who swears he/she will never touch drugs again i will <em><strong>never go near American politics as long as i live </strong></em>unless there's an opportunity after the dust of a full-scale revolution has cleared.</p>
<p>and all i have to do is pick a street <em><strong>any</strong></em> street and look at the <em><strong>fair-weathered bumbling fools</strong></em> that mostly surround me who would not risk their <em><strong>DVD collections</strong></em> let alone anything else if that was the cost for any real progressive change to know revolution is the <em><strong>worst</strong></em> bet offered on the table. it will never happen.</p>
<p>i may not participate anymore but i can offer strict warnings with more than enough street credibility to back it up.</p>
<p>that former <strong>MTV VJ</strong> (who i will not throw under the bus) and a variety of others who could at least make an informed guess as to what had just occurred quit with me.</p>
<p>it's <em><strong>why</strong></em> we quit. <em><strong>the jig was up</strong></em>. </p>
<p>this is what i thought and still think happened (and i'll keep it short) and i do not remember any one of those people disagreeing with me. we certainly were not the only ones who thought this was <em><strong>more</strong></em> than possible. reporter after reporter inquired about the disappearance and never received a lucid answer. </p>
<p>if it wasn't the <em><strong>Bilderberg Group</strong></em> as has been reported<em><strong> Obama and Hillary</strong></em> went to meet with some group that included people outside our government to not only discuss but to plot domestic policy which, if it's true, is straight-up treason and should be punishable by life in prison if not death by the strict rules these people expect all of <em><strong>us</strong></em> to obey.</p>
<p><strong>Obama</strong> was given 2008 and 2012.</p>
<p><strong>Hillary</strong> was given a cabinet position and 2016 and beyond so they could concentrate on the real enemy at hand =====> marginalizing <strong>The Republicans</strong> in the court of public opinion, selling their new <em><strong>savior</strong></em> just like they sell their wars, and making sure the clueless idiots of <strong>'Merica</strong> stick to their false <em><strong>we have a choice</strong></em> script just like the century-old, pocket fattening, well-trained monkey slaves without shackles they have been molded to be.</p>
<p>why do you think he was up against a corny old white man like <strong>John McCain</strong> ?? that was like <strong>LeBron James</strong> playin' one-on-one with a <strong>midget</strong>.</p>
<p>all the wizards behind the curtain needed was <strong>8 years of Bush</strong> to figure out that he was the <em><strong>PERFECT</strong></em> poster boy to demonize the <em><strong>right</strong></em> and if they could slide in some <em><strong>savior</strong></em> from the <em><strong>left</strong></em> who will continue as if it's all business as usual doing <em><strong>exactly</strong></em> the same things (or even worse) that same public would desperately try to give it all the benefit of the doubt for as long as (in)humanly possible because they could not <em><strong>possibly</strong></em> be one in the same.</p>
<p>it's just <em><strong>NOT POSSIBLE</strong></em> right ???</p>
<p>there's just <em><strong>no way</strong></em> there isn't really a left or a right when it comes to the <strong>Oval Office</strong> even though that office has been selling us out since before most of us were born regardless of which side of the political fence it swung on. </p>
<p>and it's all even better that it was an <em><strong>African American man</strong></em> because then the idiots will cry <strong><em>racism</em></strong> and now with Hillary we'll just trade that ploy's name and call it <em><strong>sexism</strong></em>.</p>
<p>they should make sure the next savior after Hillary is openly gay so we can move on to <em><strong>bigotry</strong></em> to shield the endless scam and a possible 24 year <em><strong>trifecta</strong></em> will be complete. </p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>2015 UPDATE:</strong> Here is Abby Martin saying the SAME exact thing about a year after i typed that last sentence.</p><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RCFo0t-ajeY" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<em> </em>
<p>i could go on and on but i'll just leave it at that. </p>
<p>it might sound like a trivial question to some but now do you understand why i might have asked...... </p>
<p>i gave up <strong>Hollywood</strong> for <em><strong>THIS</strong></em> shit ????</p>
<p>which one of those options is more <em><strong>fake and plastic</strong></em> ???? at least Hollywood admits to using a script and never tries to pretend it's <em><strong>real life</strong></em>.</p>
<p>i helped <strong>Obama</strong> so he could serve up 8 years of <em><strong>THIS</strong></em> shit ??? </p>
<p>i helped <strong>Hillary</strong> so she could not only help with the last 8 years but is ready to serve up 8 more ?? </p>
<p>for that i was a <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em><strong>complete fuckin' asshole</strong></em></span> for real. no class. </p>
<p>if i can admit that why can't anyone else still clinging to licking his boots ?? i guess their pride and running around their hamster wheels to nowhere trump what's best for <em><strong>everyone</strong></em> else including their families, friends, and anyone else they claim to love. </p>
<p>admitting you're wrong or have been wrong is the 1st step on the road to recovery mother fuckers. </p>
<p>stating the truth about <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>Obama AND Hillary</strong></span> and how rotten to the core this <strong>"nation"</strong> is now is not <em><strong>negative</strong>. </em></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>NOT TELLING THE TRUTH</strong></span> is<strong> </strong>what that game's <em><strong>really</strong></em> about now.</p>
<p></p>
<hr>
<p></p>
<p>the truly frightening part is there's nothing remotely original about Obama in the political sense. all his tactics are just this <em><strong>hodgepodge of stale cliches</strong></em> he's cherry picked along way. </p>
<p>but the one thing he has always had going for him is how few people can see all of this for what it truly is, was, and will continue to be because their eyes, ears and minds are always distracted by an endless array of fruitless prizes.</p>
<p><em><strong>they're as bankrupt as the economy</strong></em>. </p>
<p>anyone who can explain and easily source all of Obama's poor man's <strong>Saul Alinsky</strong> dance moves, <strong>Edward Bernays</strong> propaganda techniques, and all the rest of it knows he's......</p>
<p><strong>POLITICALLY CLUMSY</strong>.</p>
<p>now that the rubber has met (or is it not met) the road for long enough it's quite easy to see his <em><strong>expensive</strong></em> car driving around in circle after circle to nowhere.</p>
<p>of course some things have been accomplished. that's life in <em><strong>Washington</strong></em>. </p>
<p>they're always up to <strong>something</strong> to justify their existence. the underlings do most of the grunt work and men like <em><strong>Obama</strong></em> take all the credit for it.</p>
<p><em><strong>so what</strong></em>. </p>
<p>that petty verbal <em><strong>game of chicken</strong></em> he's been playing with <strong>Russia</strong> is just <em><strong>8th grade amateur shit</strong></em>.<em><strong> </strong></em>one should not expect more from a former community organizer from <strong>Shitcago</strong> if you know how things "work" there. </p>
<p>if <em><strong>underhanded</strong></em> was currency that would be the wealthiest city on the planet. there's a reason this <em><strong>snake</strong></em> not only slithered out alive but prospered after spending enough time in the boot camp of that corrupt club/army which has to arrange conjugal visits in a prison with <em><strong>how many past governors is it now</strong></em> ???? </p>
<p><strong>Russia</strong> must be laughing their asses off at this fool. since he's leading the charge of the ultimate deadbeat country on the entire planet the only viable leg he has to stand on is <em><strong>murder</strong></em> and he knows if he tried that with any <em><strong>real</strong></em> power out there the rest of the world including <strong>China</strong> would bitch-slap him as well as this country back into its rightful place.</p>
<p>the whole world is not going to go down the toilet for the <strong><em>United States of America</em></strong>. if another country was doing this to the world would you go down for them ?? would you live with less so they could have more ?? would you coddle and nurture a country that produces <em><strong>nothing</strong></em> the rest of the world needs to survive while wielding the biggest false-bravado mouths on the planet ???</p>
<p><em><strong>it's</strong></em> <em><strong>abso-fucking-lutely</strong></em> <em><strong>ridiculous there's even any 'Mericans who need this explained to them. this is like having to wipe ass in a kindergarten class and deal with a group of whiny 5-year-olds for no paycheck.</strong></em></p>
<p><strong>Obama and crew</strong> will probably just go pick on some small country instead if they want his minions to start beating their chests again with their lame <strong>U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A</strong> chants and that despicable way they cheer war and death like a tacky football crowd. </p>
<p>he'll sell his war on TVs with <em><strong>shiny placards</strong></em> filled with jet fighter specs and bomb graphics just like they <strong><em>sell toys to little children</em></strong> during Saturday morning cartoons.</p>
<p>or maybe he won't even sell it at all and make sure the mainstream press reports as little as possible. he's/they're good at that too these days. </p>
<p>and of course a bunch of innocent people who have <em><strong>nothing</strong></em> to do with any this will lose their lives to perpetuate yet another lie in his seemingly endless <em><strong>treasure chest of lies</strong></em> that matches or beats anything we've ever witnessed.</p>
<p>he might have fooled <strong>WAY</strong> too many people for a few more years than it should have been but we can see him now for what he is and the <em><strong>whole world</strong></em> knows it now as well. </p>
<p>they didn't even bother to include this country in economic agreements that have completely changed the rules and kicked that worthless <strong>U.S. dollar</strong> to the curb where it really belongs...and that was <em><strong>CHANGED</strong></em> as in past tense just in case any of those <em><strong>Ameri-cons</strong></em> missed it. </p>
<p>signed. </p>
<p>sealed. </p>
<p>delivered. </p>
<p><strong>DONE</strong>.</p>
<p>and most of our <em><strong>wonderful</strong></em> neighbors can not tell us shit about it but if you purposefully claim the wrong person was kicked off <strong>America's Got Talent</strong> last night they'll correct you quicker than <strong>Flash Gordon</strong> because they're <em><strong>geniuses</strong></em>.</p>
<p>do you think i get off on this shit ?? </p>
<p>do you think this makes me happy ?? </p>
<p>do you think there's some exciting prize to be won by being right about any or all of this nonsense <em><strong>none</strong></em> of us should have to monitor because we <em><strong>elected and pay representatives to take care of it</strong></em> ??? </p>
<p>the answers should be immediate to anyone with a soul: <em><strong>no, no, and no</strong></em>. </p>
<p><strong>Dear Typical America:</strong> </p>
<p>what's the hold up with that <strong>getting a clue</strong> program ??????</p>
<p>oh yeah ===> the problem is <em><strong>you</strong></em>.</p>
<p>Obama's not <strong>cool</strong> or <strong>slick</strong>. </p>
<p>he's not <strong>The Beatles or the Stones. </strong></p>
<p>he's<strong> Herman's Hermits.</strong></p>
<p>he's not <strong>Tupac</strong>.</p>
<p>he's <strong>MC Hammer</strong>. </p>
<p>he's an <strong>Urkel</strong>. but if we throw this guy in a school with too many geeks and nerds like that with only superficial <em><strong>greatest country on Earth</strong></em> like-groveling drama queens to somehow level the scale he probably <em><strong>should</strong></em> be the prom king.</p>
<p><strong>What/Who is he the king of anyway ???????</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1a20ff86239bdaac750b4807a7bb75c569787b10/original/barack-oabam-is-steve-urkel.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063908
2014-06-11T17:00:00-07:00
2016-11-16T14:21:12-08:00
Hotter Than Nun Pussy in a Sauna, oh & some Stevie too
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d7890ccdfa7ed13d443636566464390ac8b5b449/original/hollywood-sign.jpeg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p>once upon a time in a land before <strong>MySpace</strong> there was one crazy <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>FUCKED UP</strong></span> summer but this time it's real and not a John Cusack movie. </p>
<p>the old governor <strong>Gray</strong> (purr-fect name) <strong>Davis</strong> was recalled so <strong>Arnold Schwarzenegger</strong> and a cast of about 130+ other characters including Larry Flynt, Arianna Huffington, Gary Coleman, the comedian Gallagher, and even the infamous Angelyne were running for governor to replace him.</p>
<p>it was a fuckin' <strong>CIRCUS</strong>....entertaining but a circus nonetheless.</p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/mZ12brrtRb4" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>she received 2262 votes BTW but<strong> at the same time:</strong></p>
<p><strong>all public transportation was on strike</strong>. that might mean little to indigenous car-friendly suburbanites in their neat little boxes but that's a major ordeal in a sprawling metropolis. that entire summer you had a better chance winning a fortune playing poker with bums on skid row than setting foot on any train or bus. thank satan i was not one of those poor bastards who relied on it to get to and from work each day. </p>
<p><strong>every grocery store was on strike</strong>. i could not enter for some cheap wine and a box of ice pops without splitting picketers and hearing some <em><strong>you're taking food out of my kid's mouth</strong></em> speech....to which i responded more than a few times <em><strong>yeah well i'm a musician. have you ever stolen music on the internet ?? blow me.</strong></em></p>
<p>(read this like Andrew Dice Clay)<em><strong> you want speeches ?? i got fuckin' speeches...........</strong></em></p>
<p><strong>the Hollywood Hills were on FIRE</strong>....i'm talkin' on fire for months. <strong>10s of thousands</strong> of homes were burned to the ground or seriously damaged and we were honestly considering the possibility that it might spread down to <strong>Hollywood</strong> "proper" below.</p>
<p><strong>it was HOT</strong>....like <em><strong>Hotter Than Nun Pussy in a Sauna</strong> </em>hot. it was so fucking hot that i used to <strong>BBQ</strong> outside every day and i would light the coals with newspaper and sunlight reflecting through a full water bottle (full-on post-nuclear war survivor style). it would only take a few seconds to light.</p>
<p><strong>no matches</strong>. </p>
<p><strong>no shit</strong>. </p>
<p><strong>somewhere along the way there was a 72 hour blackout</strong>. it was a complete grid shutdown. my beloved best friend <strong>Mr. Air Conditioner</strong> fell into an induced coma and when he might open his eyes and breathe that next breath on his own was anyone's guess. after every cold shower or swim in the pool i sat by his bedside holding vigil each day in nothing but pink <strong>Miller Lite</strong> underwear from the <strong>99 Cents Only</strong> store hoping, praying, weeping, <strong>DEJECTED</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d92b4a475bcedb15f42ad18900006cecc82aa1f4/original/pink-miller-lite-underwear-from-the-99-cents-only-store.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="282" width="600" /></p>
<p>the only things that worked in my apt were my laptop with a battery that lasted maybe 2 hours which was considered good at the time and my landline phone for internet because my building was not yet equipped for <strong>DSL</strong>. </p>
<p><strong>OFFICE NOTE:</strong> i had signed an application assuring the phone co. i was indeed <strong>Mexican</strong> and spoke <strong>Spanish</strong> guaranteeing my phone bill would <strong>ALWAYS</strong> be $5-somethin' a month <strong>no matter what</strong>.</p>
<p>that's an old <strong>Hollyhood</strong> trick.</p>
<p><strong>GRACIAS</strong>.</p>
<p>that summer i submitted a feature to one prominent print zine and another online one about a new band <strong>Kasabian</strong>. they were not really <em><strong>new</strong></em> since they'd been around since '97 or so but they had not yet released their 1st official album. that was a little more than a year away but i had received multiple demos and studio recordings from a mutual friend. the <strong>"next Oasis"</strong> accolades and various other things compartmentalizing bastards do had already begun. </p>
<p>i definitely was not in love with it yet. it was still <strong>WAY</strong> too cracker for my tastes. they were not the band they are now but i specifically remember choosing to approach and absorb it more like the Syd Barrett solo years rather than another band of 4 boring white guys. </p>
<p>at least it wasn't Creed or Filter or the Goo Goo Dolls or something like that. from the mid-90s on those were some rough <strong>ROUGH</strong> years.</p>
<p>and since the worthless unoriginal drones were not yet repeatedly running into walls like broken robots with fatal glitches babbling <em><strong>hipster this and hipster</strong> <strong>that </strong></em>about everything it was still welcomed to know something everyone else for the most part did not....thus the point of <em><strong>SHARING </strong></em>(and not this come-lately version where one steals another's knowledge and ideas and expects full credit for the happy ending). </p>
<p>of course that did not stop the (shall remain nameless) print zine editor from rejecting it with this exact phrase <em><strong>britpop is dead</strong></em> whatever that meant and the other rejection had something to do with them being <em><strong>unknowns</strong></em>.</p>
<p><em><strong>mama always said cracker male editor is what cracker male editor does</strong></em>.............</p>
<p>[so much for vision]</p>
<p>well i'm pleased to report their new album released June 6th should be their <strong>4th #1</strong> album in the <strong>UK</strong> if those Coldplay bastards don't beat 'em to the punch. 11 years later and still going as strong as ever.</p>
<p>here's one of my favorite tracks <strong>Stevie</strong> from that new album <strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/48:13" target="blank" data-imported="1">48:13</a></strong>. </p>
<p>their website is <strong><a href="http://www.kasabian.co.uk/" target="blank" data-imported="1">HERE</a></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063907
2014-06-06T17:00:00-07:00
2015-07-15T04:24:51-07:00
The Great Ape House
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c55700f1572058d2f625e8bbcb298dbfba1e4dde/original/great-ape-house-national-zoo-washington-dc.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="405" width="600" /></p>
<p>i wish someone would have already expressed it this way during a <strong>fireside chat</strong> but if i/you/we think about it the <em><strong>truth justice and American way</strong></em> version of the story is that shitty, plodding, predictable show on <strong>CBS</strong> with bad actors, bad production & cliche storylines. the real version of the story is that phenomenal series on <strong>HBO</strong> or <strong>Showtime</strong>. it's <strong>WAY</strong> more interesting, twisted, and (for lack of a better word) entertaining.</p>
<p>and that's why the rest of the world will continue to spread that version of the story <strong>GUARANTEED</strong>. the misleading version really <em><strong>does</strong></em> suck. it's a terrible script written by amateurs for amateurs.</p>
<p>that's the biggest <strong>crack</strong> in the armour. </p>
<p>the <strong>weakest</strong> link. </p>
<p>the fault responsible for the <strong>earthquake</strong>.</p>
<p>the breeze that topples the <strong>house of cards</strong>.</p>
<p>the <strong>kryptonite</strong>.</p>
<p>i'm so (again for lack of a better word) pleased the rest of the world is now able to be fully aware of the truth about <strong>'Merica</strong> via the internet and modern communication technology. it's about time. those tired old propangandists never saw this one coming i assure you.</p>
<p>and the <strong>Ameri-cons</strong> (see the let's do the math section below) will spin that to some self-serving conclusion like "<strong>of course they're doing that....see how interesting we are ??"</strong> attempting to justify it because they're as deranged as the original story itself.</p>
<p>it's not because they're coming up with some remotely profound card to play it's just another episode in a <em><strong>seemingly</strong></em> endless game of........</p>
<p><strong>monkey see = monkey</strong> <strong>do</strong></p>
<p>consider it the inevitable by-product of spending too much time on tour with the Circus but it's still just a poorly planned & ineffective line of defense that changes nothing.</p>
<p>of course they'll kill the messenger rather than go after those who have pathologically lied to them time & time again while training them to be sleepwalking idiots.</p>
<p> it reminds me of that tacky bitch on the <strong>Springer</strong> stage who pulls the other woman's hair rather than kicking a field goal with the balls of the guy who never bothered to inform her he had a wife in the 1st place.</p>
<p>their <strong>U.S.A. chant</strong> sounds more like this:</p>
<p><em><strong>Jer-ry...Jer-ry....Jer-ry....Jer-ry....Jer-ry....Jer-ry....Jer-ry</strong></em> </p>
<p>now show us those floppy tits ya <strong>great</strong> <strong>big winner</strong> you.</p>
<p><strong>so let's do the math: </strong>in one corner we have<strong> </strong>a sizable but mostly painfully marginal chunk of 318 million people (not even 5% of the world population) who when the rubber really meets the road "stand" for about as much as the most fair-weathered sports fans, who "fight" with Facebook placards and <em><strong>i support our troops </strong></em>bumper stickers, who love to play the hero with <em><strong>thoughts & prayers</strong></em> because they require no real work or effort, who would not even risk their <strong>DVD collections</strong> let alone anything else if that was the cost for any truly progressive change, who like lost little children alone in the dark think <em><strong>i'm not really political</strong></em><strong> </strong>will serve as some magic sheet pulled over the head to protect them from the monster in the closet (as if their acknowledgement is some prerequisite for attack), who do not make or possess <strong>anything the world needs to survive</strong>, who in more cases than not can not even maintain their own waistlines or control their cyber-window-shopping mates & phone-stroking like-groveling celebrity-obsessed spawns, as they plot <em><strong>what's for dinner, what's on TV tonight, and what time does my alarm need to *beep* so i can get back to tending the farm</strong></em> as much as anything else, while being dumb enough to think they <em><strong>run this shit</strong></em> with all the other subpar, uneducated, chest-beating, debt-ridden, "we" won, metal sign with the tongue sticking out, loud mouthed, everything's a joke, thank god it's friday, acronym texting, totes adorbs, red Solo cup-wielding knuckleheads at a house/block party or some Buffalo Wild Wings bar.</p>
<p> in the other corner we have an <strong>exponentially larger</strong> chunk of 6.7+ <strong>Billion</strong> people around the globe who are not only completely sick of their shit but know <strong>ALL ABOUT</strong> their debtor nation and the endless boots it licks and lies it spews to pretend those crucial <strong>FACTS</strong> away. </p>
<p>now it's time to plug our ears as their screeching voices wail that weightless <strong>g</strong><em><strong>reatest country on earth </strong></em>tune which in & of itself is exclusionary to everyone on Earth & about as charming as some precious cunt who tells all her friends she's the prettiest one at the club. of course since the Ameri-con losers they mirror taught them they are entitled for no valid reason they're dumb as a rock when it comes to figuring out this very basic concept. and they're surrounded by such classless idiots they've never heard one of those so-called "friends" utter a peep about it either. </p>
<p>they were probably busy making stupid faces in a photo-tagged circle jerk & patting each other on the back for putting on such <strong>stellar performances</strong>. </p>
<p>oh & let's not forget they're bragging about a country that is the <strong>biggest threat to world peace on the entire</strong> <strong>planet</strong>, with a central bank that is robbing them every single second of every single day while propping up Wall Street at their expense, with an economy that would begin imploding the second Japan & China (alone) dropped all their U.S. bonds that allow this deadbeat nation to remain afloat, and these <strong>PATRIOTS</strong> these <strong>GENIUSES</strong> can not (for the most part) tell you/us a thing about it.</p>
<p>they're so <em><strong>smart</strong></em> and such <em><strong>good people</strong></em> they don't even know it's happening...or (like those people in that infamous Jimmy Kimmel Coachella video who claim how much they <strong>LOVE</strong> bands that don't even exist) they'll say they do until someone backs them in a corner asking for a lucid explanation and watches them wither in defeat, change the subject, or bust out some emotional manipulation, half-truths, or outright lies they're used to using with morons who can't check facts or follow a story like this from start to finish.</p>
<p>their record will start looping in an endless buck-toothed mouth-breathing Napoleon Dynamite <strong>but, uh, but, uh, uh, dude, but, uh</strong> skip or they'll back peddle while telling you how/why this action-packed, twisting & turning, facts are stranger than fiction, the villains are winning, truly bizarre screenplay from hell is somehow <strong>boring</strong>. </p>
<p>all talk no walk. </p>
<p>poetic. <strong>truly fucking poetic</strong>.</p>
<p>are you ready to pick your pony yet ?? tough choice isn't it ??? </p>
<p>if i had one of those people in one hand and my cat in another as they hang over a cliff and i needed to let one go to save the other who do you think is going to hit the rocks below ??? </p>
<p>it would not even be a close contest.</p>
<p>that's like asking if i want some red velvet cake or a slice of dog shit from the bottom of a shoe. decisions. decisions.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/561ad7a4ef3cb8f015741e4077cdb4e2c0fe6742/original/the-jig-is-up-definition.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzIzeDExNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="117" width="323" /></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>GAME OVER</strong></span><strong> =====> MOTHER FUCKERS</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-9YqL4mfCdM" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063906
2014-06-04T17:00:00-07:00
2014-06-05T10:30:52-07:00
Surrounded by IDIOTS = thanks Facebook
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fc453bb95fd7e0b78e0f547fd0a1bd527484db9e/original/janelle-ambrosia-is-racist-facebook-page.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM0OCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="348" width="600" /></p>
<p>it's pretty sad that unless there's some <strong>lead singer who was accused of fucking a 16-year-old girl</strong> or a sculpture of<strong> Michelle Obama with a dick</strong> i can post a link to a new page based on a phenomenal band or artist and most will <strong>COMPLETELY</strong> ig<span class="text_exposed_show">nore it. after the 1st week there will be the token 4-500 "likes" (if it's lucky) and this happens in less than 24 hours. </span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">at this pace she'll catch up to <strong>Flo the Progressive Girl, Walmart, Barack, and the latest Frito-Lay flavor</strong></span><span class="text_exposed_show"><strong> </strong></span><span class="text_exposed_show">(each of equally profound worth i assure you) in no time</span><span class="text_exposed_show">.</span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">hopefully it's just another 24-hour cyber flu or <strong>Alec Baldwin will save the day </strong>by calling someone else a fag so the flies won't know which bug lamp to hit 1st. </span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">at least it would be more entertaining.<br><br>we're surrounded by <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>IDIOTS</strong></span> people. </span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">Facebook has mastered the art (and profitability) of trash collection....</span></p>
<p><strong><span class="text_exposed_show">without a doubt.</span></strong></p>
<p><strong><span class="text_exposed_show"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></span></strong></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063905
2014-04-07T17:00:00-07:00
2015-06-29T11:53:51-07:00
A Century of the SAME OL' SHIT
<p>i wrote this last year but never posted it until now which is why it mentions 2013 as if it's the present. i used to claim <strong>i like politics in my music as much as i like piss in my lemonade</strong> but this is a blog. there's much more to life on this planet than music, leisure, impressing people online, or desperately saying the "right" things to get the proverbial bones from them.</p>
<p>i <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>HATE</strong></span> that i have to waste any time on this shit because we are lead (make that molded) by liars, cheats, and thieves. they bank on your/our laziness and ignorance. this post does not.</p>
<p>i posted this as 6 separate images snipped out of WordPad so if you want to save any of it right click on the blue <strong>CARELLAROSS.COM</strong> on each one and save them as you would an image. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b78e35e9a637f55f08af16a0e135302c60e46b82/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTg3eDU0MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="541" width="587" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/49169b9cdc9a0fb4accfd2e1dfc1f7aea64e7df3/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTk0eDU1NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="555" width="594" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5422f213a0a31e79776ebeff23cab2223ddae78f/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTg4eDU1OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="559" width="588" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/840ef1bc067816b03d0a8675510afb493932f11f/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-4.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTkyeDUyNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="524" width="592" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5199923c8c26bef2d1676f3af3b5cc6a7091db41/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-5.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTkzeDUxNiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="516" width="593" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/290ce7f2786d5613129dc25d0c8e2a79745de12d/original/a-century-of-the-same-ol-shit-6.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTkyeDM1NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="357" width="592" /></p>
<p>[some of the drivel that does not rectify their language can be found <a href="http://carellaross.com/rantings__ravings/the_new_see_n_say" data-imported="1">HERE</a>]</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9fbf2af6387fce3eb8ccf8c1a14dfd3d076125d1/original/when-you-are-dead-you-dont-know-know-that-you-are-dead.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="232" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/57be0ff7f2ae7807d7b05414c18b9c88203295b1/original/000.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="36" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063904
2014-04-07T17:00:00-07:00
2014-04-08T08:36:42-07:00
it's THEM Magazine to me
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c3b08f4edbe4ff4e259d1cc77a3472306d04a743/original/us-weekly-time-to-look-at-more-assholes.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDY2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="660" width="600" /></p>
<p><em><strong>Us Weekly</strong></em>. time to look at more assholes.</p>
<p>it's <em><strong>THEM</strong></em> magazine to me. </p>
<p>most of the people who buy these magazines are the clueless victims of the century-old herding techniques of men like:</p>
<p><strong>Edward</strong> "propaganda/P.R." <strong>Bernays</strong></p>
<p><strong>Walter</strong> "bewildered herd" <strong>Lippmann</strong></p>
<p><strong>George</strong> "one white hot mass/make the world safe for democracy (although he really meant hypocrisy)" <strong>Creel</strong></p>
<p><strong>[more about these men can be found <a href="http://carellaross.com/rantings__ravings/a_century_of_the_same_ol_shit/" data-imported="1">HERE</a>]</strong></p>
<p>if the target audience is this come-lately tribe of monochrome <strong>Ameri-cons</strong> we see almost everything catering to the <em><strong>irrational desires & exaggerations</strong></em> those men defined and promoted throughout their lifetimes rather than anything with any true grounded substance because they knew literal idiots would eat it up and are not capable of much more than that when operating as a collective. </p>
<p>they need to be trained and lead like lost little puppies who need to know where and when to shit and what reward(s) those <em><strong>good little doggies</strong></em> will receive when and if they obey properly.</p>
<p>emotional manipulation is <strong>=====></strong> <strong>KING.</strong></p>
<p><strong>their (paraphrased) words not mine</strong></p>
<p>assholes or not were they right ??</p>
<p><strong>HELL YES.</strong> </p>
<p>and it is of course absolutely perfect that <strong>95+%</strong> of those same <strong>Ameri-cons</strong> would flunk <em><strong>any</strong></em> basic pop quiz about those 3 men. they're <strong>SO</strong> convinced they can tell us <strong>all</strong> about the construction of the house without being able to name <strong>ANY</strong> of the true architects.</p>
<p>they sound like our <em><strong>dream tour guides</strong></em> do they not ?? </p>
<p>if that is not a <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>bewildered herd</strong></span> i don't know what is. fast forward to <strong>2014</strong> and that's a bewildered herd who also think counting like buttons about this subject has anything to do with calculating the literal validity of it. if they don't hit those "like" buttons it will magically disappear right ??? </p>
<p>kinda sounds like little kids pulling sheets over their heads because that's going to shield them from the monster in the closet.</p>
<p>and in the <strong>United States of Amnesia</strong> if more than a few minutes go by one has to remind them <strong>===></strong> didn't someone <em><strong>just</strong></em> mention <em><strong>irrational desires & exaggerations</strong></em> ??? YEP.</p>
<p>why would anyone with (even half) a brain wonder why they are entitled for so many invalid reasons while they promote that as some noble pursuit ??? </p>
<p>it's the <em><strong>greatest country on earth </strong></em>making the world <em><strong>safe</strong></em> for ploys like these. </p>
<p><strong>they've trained their dogs well.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9fbf2af6387fce3eb8ccf8c1a14dfd3d076125d1/original/when-you-are-dead-you-dont-know-know-that-you-are-dead.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="232" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/57be0ff7f2ae7807d7b05414c18b9c88203295b1/original/000.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="36" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063903
2014-04-02T17:00:00-07:00
2014-04-04T10:46:50-07:00
Everything Sucks Now
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b10efcc79deae1eb721ef88a7ce32ced9ffa980e/original/everything-sucks-now-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc2MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="762" width="600" /></p>
<p>honestly when my brother sent me this earlier this year i blew it off too quickly from the initial Rihanna-like ay-ay-ay-ay shit but i'm glad he persisted and sent it to me again especially since i didn't really care for their 1st album or the marginal white-bred Lollapalooza audience i believe(d) bands like this attract.</p>
<p>this is a cut <strong>===></strong> very much expresses the <strong>NOW </strong>(to me at least). <br><br> </p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/a0ul-BghOAs" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063902
2014-03-15T17:00:00-07:00
2014-03-15T18:40:43-07:00
Here are your BuzzFeed poll results
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fcb87c4e7af16aead793ed7980cf8250fa01cb1c/original/nina-hagen-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQyOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="429" width="600" /></p>
<p><strong>you're Nina Hagen. </strong></p>
<p>you're an <strong>"individual"</strong>. most people don't get you. you're quirky and unique so much so that people have been pinching your uber one-of-a-kind <strong>East Berlin</strong> flavor for almost 35 years even though you live the bulk of your <em><strong>creative</strong></em> life pretty much <strong>JUST</strong> like everyone else.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063901
2014-03-14T17:00:00-07:00
2014-07-14T21:29:37-07:00
Add this to your friends list
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0b8536a103773325a47f74900f2eefb15e4932d4/original/social-conformity-causes-the-brain-the-rewrite-reality.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="362" width="600" /></p>
<p><span data-reactid=".q.1:3:1:$comment670081146382318_92627228:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.0:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".q.1:3:1:$comment670081146382318_92627228:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.0:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">these note cards layer the walls of my recording studio to remind me of all the things i love and hate and whatever else in between.....</span></span></p>
<p>can't even remember why i wrote it down or from where but it's probably a hybrid of herding philosophies presented by men like <strong>Edward Bernays</strong>, <strong>Walter Lippmann</strong>, <strong>George Creel</strong> and all the rest of their minions who have been training the American mind for over a century.</p>
<p>the American consumer = thank these men. </p>
<p>the way they sell war = thank these men. </p>
<p>TV ads that play to irrational desires rather than the quality of the goods being sold = thank these men.</p>
<p>the reason they know what (<strong>P</strong>)ublic (<strong>R</strong>)elations are but have no idea about the where, when, or why it came from = thank these men.</p>
<p>what people mistakenly think they're voting for or how and why they're sure they have "democracy" all figured out = thank these men. </p>
<p>that libtard v/s teabagger war = thank these men. </p>
<p>the way Americans lose track of things through effective bombardment and are <em><strong>REALLY</strong></em> bad at staying on topic = thank these men. </p>
<p>the way they attack the messenger = thank these men.</p>
<p>that little <strong>*beep*</strong> on their phones and Facebook pages that makes them jump to attention like Pavlov's dog or lab rats waiting for another reward = thank these men.</p>
<p>and yet if you quizzed them about [just] those 3 men <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>95% or more would flunk with flying colors</strong></span>. they know absolutely nothing about the men who literally wrote the rule book.</p>
<p>(which leads to one i forgot) the way they play the role of experts before ever completing <em><strong>any</strong></em> valid research = thank these men.</p>
<p><strong>AND NOW LET'S READ THEIR POSTS & COMMENTARY.</strong> </p>
<p>it's no wonder the term <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>knuckleheads</strong></span> comes to mind.</p>
<p>it's the drivel of century old well-trained dogs who think a "<strong>pffft C'MON DUDE</strong>" is all it takes to win the "debate" no one with a brain is trying to "win" anyway......especially since that's just more well-trained dog territory. </p>
<p>it's too far gone now. </p>
<p>far too many of our neighbors are lost like pets in a tsunami at this point. </p>
<p>it's sad and pathetic.</p>
<p>they might as well get back to figuring out what's for dinner and what's on TV tonight a.k.a. <strong>WHERE THEIR SKILL SETS ACTUALLY RESIDE</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063900
2014-03-06T16:00:00-08:00
2014-07-14T21:30:17-07:00
You're in High School again
<p><strong>ON A POSITIVE NOTE:</strong> so many of our American neighbors are probably no more clueless, ignorant, and uneducated than they have always been. we just have the internet (and especially <strong>Facebook</strong>) to put it on full display all day every day now. it's not worse as some think it is. it's just the same bad it has always been.</p>
<p><strong>after all:</strong> those idiots from the 60s 70s 80s & 90s did not have broadband or "smart" phones and like-minded drones playing their versions of sitting at the same <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>high school lunchroom table</strong></span> each and every day with the same people spewing the same collection of patting-themselves-on-the-back nonsense.</p>
<p>we just call that a "<strong>friends list</strong>" or a "<strong>like</strong>" button now.</p>
<p>same difference.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/bb0a55a28e64a85fc8ed1a2c124bb0ea9982ead8/original/youre-in-high-school-again.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM4NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="384" width="600" /> </p>
<p>if you just look around the room you'll see all the familiar faces. </p>
<p>there's the <strong>people-pleasing white chick</strong> with a fake smile & "positive" spin for everything. she'll be there to point out the European dating system on your conspiracy theory proves it's impossible because it didn't even happen yet.</p>
<p>i'll tip my <strong>red plastic Solo cup</strong> to that.</p>
<p>there's the <strong>ex-jock moron</strong> who sat with her who she always dreamed would one day marry her and affirm her endless drivel while footing the bill. at least they'll slide in a few stories of past glory and a picture or twelve to prove they were not always fat, boring, unwanted, debt ridden, baby breeding worker bees.</p>
<p>(but) they should probably stick that flavorless chewed up <strong><em>greatest country on</em><em> earth</em></strong><em> </em>gum<em> </em>under the table where it belongs before they dig into their genetically modified vittles that have served their <strong>Buffalo Wild Wing</strong> waistlines so well<em>.</em></p>
<p>there's the <strong>ex-knucklehead leader of the burnouts</strong> and his/her minions of lost little puppies who play the obedient sidekicks in their endless versions of <strong>Kibbles 'n Bits</strong> commercials. their social and political soliloquies will forever retain the stink of the high school washroom. hopefully the rest of us can muster a figurative version of those pink urinal mints to mask the scent of their mental <strong>Metallica/Slayer</strong> jean jackets that bond with cigarette smoke (and mirrors) as a mother in the jungle would with her young. </p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/gvoBAeNhNZk" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>there's the <strong>funny guys and gals</strong>. just like their come-lately sister in arms Melissa McCarthy they still have a joke for everything. problem is after they come down from on top of the tables and their witty routines have ended they're still the same guys and gals who needed all that as a crutch to begin with. all these years later nothing has changed. besides there's nothing <strong><em>funny</em></strong> about U.S. history anyway right ??</p>
<p>there's the <strong>sluts</strong> with their new pictures every day. actually thank <strong>GAWD</strong> we have the sluts. if we're going to be <em><strong>this</strong></em> fucking stupid at least they keep it sexy !!!!! </p>
<p>and let's not forget who made up most of the rest of the lunchroom = all those (mostly) <strong>nameless and faceless chumps</strong> who blow "<strong>go with the flow</strong>" like good little hookers out on the track. they make sure all statistical "proof" of how the American public feels at any moment in time always gets a nice big shot of mediocre steroids.</p>
<p><strong>God Bless them all</strong>.</p>
<p>let's join hands around the <strong>Facebook campfire</strong> and send out some of those "<strong>prayers</strong>" (that require no real work) they all seem to love so much.</p>
<p><strong>i mean:</strong> where would we be without all these <strong>heroes</strong> ?????</p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9ca2cde745a4fa6ad0af8f0d362006411c6f347f/original/terrorists-hate-us-for-our-freedoms.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTk5eDI5MyJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="293" width="599" /> </p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Kn1hPobBFgw" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
<p></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063899
2014-02-26T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-27T07:30:12-08:00
The New See N Say
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7fe65ce91ba4b7cce4a9d6c6bc4201403cca1715/original/see-n-say.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /></p>
<p>they need to bring back one of these based on a certain set of tired <strong>American </strong>cliches. ya know...pull the string "<strong>and the American says....</strong>". they can fill it with things like "<strong>put on your tinfoil hat</strong>" and "<strong>democracy is not a spectator sport</strong>" and "d<strong>on't let the terrorists win</strong>" and "<strong>they hate us for our freedoms</strong>" and "<strong>the greatest country on earth</strong>" and "<strong>love it or leave it</strong>" and "<strong>without a vote i have no voice</strong>" and "<strong>we've made it through hard times before</strong>" and "<strong>but snopes says...</strong>" and of course don't forget the jaded but oh-so-effective.................</p>
<p><strong>"pffft c'mon DUDE !!" </strong>they offer when confronted with the truth.<br><br><strong>See N Say </strong>should pay homage to some of the other farm animals out there.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063898
2014-02-23T16:00:00-08:00
2016-11-30T06:42:17-08:00
Everyone Has an Internet Age
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4e9f4d158d2fd04235aec1502b93c341236743a5/original/everyone-has-an-internet-age.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="600" /></p>
<p>everyone has an internet age he/she can't hide. </p>
<p>it's stamped on that cyber forehead.</p>
<p>and if you think you're fooling anyone who matters go look at a 6th grade kid having a smoke and tell me if he "looks like an adult" or if (of course) he just looks like a 6th grade kid having a smoke.</p>
<p>if you joined <strong>MySpace</strong> or <strong>FaceBook</strong> in let's say 2007 and before that you were one of those people whereby someone would email you and you would finally see it 3 weeks later because that's how cyber-savvy you truly were at that point.....</p>
<p>you're ===> <strong>7 years old.</strong></p>
<p>no button on a phone in 2014 is somehow going to magically change that.</p>
<p>so when someone who is <strong>20</strong> sees you acting like a child, points out how you're acting like a child, and of course does not act like your version of that cyber child and you do not get that while whining about the realities of this completely natural evolutionary process like a child here's the reason why ====> <strong>YOU'RE A CHILD</strong>.</p>
<p>oh and even if you have been online for 20 years but you've never had your own place (a.k.a. <strong>www.your-name-here.com</strong> website) that you pay for with your own money...in internet terms...you still live at home with your parents or you're the 20-year-old-internet virgin. </p>
<p><strong>take your pick</strong>.</p>
<p>i don't speak much cracker but i believe they call this...........</p>
<p><strong>...FAILURE TO LAUNCH...</strong></p>
<p>unless you're SO fucking punk rock that you've never even been online before and in that case you are cooler than all of us. i'm sorry you'll never see this.</p>
<p>and hey just like any little kid you can rule the playground at your grade school all day every day but once you step into the <strong>big boy/girl ring</strong> it's going to be a different story.</p>
<p>there won't be a <strong>FaceBook mommie</strong> with an iPhone and a like button to wipe your ass for you anymore. she won't be there to lie to you and tell you <em><strong>you did GREAT</strong></em> even though she knows you completely sucked.</p>
<p>learn about <strong>fraternal order</strong>. look it up if you have to.</p>
<p>you've probably got a <em><strong>smart</strong></em> phone on you now.</p>
<p>why don't you use it for something other than <strong>LOLs</strong> and "just sayin" after lame 7-year-old attempts at humor and <strong>friggins</strong> and all those stupid fuckin' smiley faces we see <em><strong>them</strong></em> type and then maybe when you're a grown up as well you can join the rest of us aspiring to a much more fulfilled and rounded internet life than that.</p>
<p>getting real about what is going on in this country and what a scumbag the <strong>President of U.S. Inc.</strong> is required to be instead of worrying about all the moms and dads grounding your like button would be an excellent place to start. </p>
<p>just sayin'.....right ???</p>
<p>[insert heart thing here] and <strong>*KISSES*</strong> and a <strong>f*ck</strong> and a <strong>sh*t</strong> and how about a <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>YOUR STUPID</strong></span> just to send a shout-out to all the brain-dead retards out there who have not only polluted the online gene pool but have pissed on that once highly regarded craft known as <strong>SPELLING</strong> as well.</p>
<p><strong>B--R--A--K--E ??</strong> that's in your car dum-my.</p>
<p>if you didn't get that last joke read those 7-year-old parts again.....</p>
<p><strong>BETCH</strong> !!!</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/nb0s1AePP2g" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063897
2014-02-23T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-24T07:48:14-08:00
the 1st Annual Edgy Cracker Award
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/929f480bb93f69dd61b182bbdd0bdf8a6a08ad1f/original/the-1st-annual-edgy-cracker-awards.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="453" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063896
2014-02-14T16:00:00-08:00
2016-05-16T22:39:14-07:00
There are no rules of FaceBook
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2884766bdf7ac59c43f735a718825a8dfa138e66/original/facebook-rules-of-conduct.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDE2NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="165" width="600" /></p>
<p>here are the rules of FaceBook: <strong>THERE ARE NO RULES OF FACEBOOK</strong>. </p>
<p>only whiny needy little cunts who can't take the heat even hint at anything different than that. if they don't like what is on the computer screen turn the channel. i'm certainly not going to bow to a bunch of newbies who joined the internet party as late as 2005-2008 or whatever. they have <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>no cyber street credibility with anyone who has had a website since the mid-90s</strong></span> in this fraternal order. and just because most everyone else is a freshman just like they are or they have a FB button on that same phone every other late-to-the-party douche bag who surrounds them has it changes nothing.</p>
<p>they get their say = i get mine. it's really simple.</p>
<p>isn't it ironic that those <strong>BuzzFeed</strong> "<strong>10 people you need to unfriend on FaceBook</strong>" lists for painfully average people never include <strong>#11</strong> that friend who thinks their Ma & Pa rules apply to other people's lives or how about <strong>#12</strong> that friend who used to be fun who is now a boring parent who wants to end the wild crazy evening at 10PM and wonders why we never see each other anymore or how about <strong style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">#13</strong> that friend who used to be hot who now looks like a frumpy train wreck & resents pretty pictures & anyone not stuck in that same quicksand or how about <strong>#14</strong> that schoolmarm genius who thinks using the word fuck or not using the word fuck is an effective way to calculate intelligence (the same pussy who types words like friggin). <strong style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">FUCK</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/07a5ad76475fafe2d791e883b377ec4fdc43fbd1/original/fuck-it-fuck-off-fuck-you-fuck-her-fuck-him-fuck-this-fuck-that-fuck-all.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTk5eDIwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="599" /></p>
<p>it always makes me ask that rhetorical question:</p>
<p><strong>i "grew up" for THIS shit ??????</strong></p>
<p>for a bunch of amateurs and their petty self-serving "i'm so offended" ploys while they simultaneously play like-button footsies like a bunch of children in grade school ???</p>
<p>as long as their inadequacies mirror yours they'll get the "like" right ???</p>
<p><br><strong>YEAH</strong><strong>.</strong></p>
<p><br><strong>SURE</strong><strong>.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063895
2014-02-10T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-10T19:08:16-08:00
Jasmin Highheel's Cafe 17
<p>how <strong>INCREDIBLE</strong> is this place ??? her website is =====> <a href="http://www.cafe17.com.tr/" target="blank" data-imported="1">HERE</a> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e9ec39201b24df94b4a318b93cd294e6558dfe96/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0635193ce0410caac063184c22fa5471779ed6dc/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5e2306320497cf01e3e91b2114043a947fd2be38/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a74330e3da801f3e41f6d1562f360b5eeca343c2/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-4.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/223a2fa7ec909222777c02e1fa56d956dcb8cf62/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-5.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/39c13b7975de67200c78b521aa58c7a58f585f83/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-6.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a7bd69750d0c391dc3627acb90940593584b3f67/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-7.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7aa689c04692a1e7df53f634c4fe0394cff642e5/original/jasmin-higheels-cafe-17-8.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063894
2014-02-10T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-10T13:54:15-08:00
We need some mother fuckin' NIRVANA y'all
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d2472973897a6e8948f69a885b8df70a241c233c/original/the-death-of-the-fetish-model.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="333" width="600" /></p>
<p>at the end of 1991 we find Bryan Adams' <strong>"(Everything I Do) I Do It for You"</strong> in the #1 position followed by Color Me Badd's <strong>"I Wanna Sex You Up"</strong> and C+C Music Factory's <strong>"Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)"</strong>. Extreme's <strong>"More Than Words"</strong> is not far down that list. in other words it was a rough rough <strong>ROUGH</strong> year. basically things were played out & pretty bad. </p>
<p>MTV had been around long enough to experience its 1st real extended train wreck and the roaches used that to run shit into the ground like they do with every great idea. </p>
<p>shit happens (ya know ??)<br><br>well thanks to the social network and the lowest form of it to date (hello FaceBook & its accompanying amateurs) we're at that point with the <strong>FETISH MODEL</strong> and the <strong>PHOTO SHOOT</strong>. </p>
<p>we need some <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>MOTHER FUCKIN' NIRVANA Y'ALL</strong></span>.</p>
<p>It's time for Firehouse, Damn Yankees, Roxette, Jesus Jones, EMF, Wilson (hint hint to the one on the left up there) Phillips, Keith Sweat, Nelson, Gerardo, Gloria Estefan, P.M. Dawn, and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch to leave the fucking building ===> <strong>IMMEDIATELY</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063893
2014-02-09T16:00:00-08:00
2015-11-12T20:59:52-08:00
Sex & the Shitty
<p>according to these TV ads i'm witnessing right now <strong>American women</strong> are empty baby-breeding, makeup, perfume, and Valentine's Day consuming shitheads who need to eat Progressive soup to shrink that waistline for their bearded hot wing-eatin' sports cheerin' white-men-can't-jump butterball mates. </p>
<p><strong>Burger King</strong> agrees that <em><strong>size does matter</strong></em> and all their eye-rolling Reese's peanut butter cup & match.com lovin' friends (who only wear pants & need to study for a new career at Devry) moonlight as therapists. </p>
<p>ok i think i've got it now.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>Sex & the Shitty</strong></span></p>
<p>over & out.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><strong>below = not my handiwork.</strong> <strong>smells like 'Merican spirit to me.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fce4fb8d55fcff075c5aa0993f837ea181b751fa/original/sex-and-the-shitty.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063892
2014-02-05T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-05T19:00:27-08:00
Smithereens (1982) Full Movie
<p>i wish this copy was better quality but this is just SO hard to find now unless you want to order a digital version from Amazon. watch out for <strong>Chris Noth</strong> as a prostitute at the end. i think this was his 2nd movie. this is the 1st movie <strong>Susan Seidelman</strong> directed a few years before <em><strong>Desperately Seeking Susan</strong></em>. she directed Madonna's "Into the Groove" video as well.</p>
<p><strong>the IMDb page is =====> <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084698/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="blank" data-imported="1">HERE</a></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7c852549d71add2892dfb24a54b43d9723b2ccf3/original/susan-berman-in-smithereens-1982.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEwMjUiXQ%3D%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="1025" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/kJM3VnEzGf4" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063891
2014-02-02T16:00:00-08:00
2014-02-03T06:28:05-08:00
Phil the Groundhog: THE REAL STORY
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/51d7bdc02bac008720746cdb276cfc024f18c426/original/phil-the-groundhog.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="364" width="600" /></p>
<p>see: i heard he just smelled chemtrails & said <strong><em>FUCK THIS SHIT I'M NOT PLAYING ANYMORE</em>...</strong>and after (rhetorically) asking "<strong>who are these boring shitty white people ??</strong>" he turned around went inside and got back to snortin' blow off some delicious hooker's ass.</p>
<p>thus<strong> </strong>rendering that tired old <em><strong>did he see his shadow</strong></em> formula:</p>
<p>abso-fucking-lutely<strong> </strong>===> <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>MOOT</strong></span> <===</p>
<p>(but that's just me)</p>
<p>Thanks Phil. </p>
<p>That's a bitchin' name BTW.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063890
2014-01-25T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-26T04:23:01-08:00
If you're going to order a hooker.....
<p><strong>it's just proper hook shop etiquette</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d4fc9ac62f929e67bcdfc39a2bc9fd1e37228d45/original/if-youre-going-to-order-a-hooker.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="437" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063889
2014-01-23T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T06:20:08-08:00
Hunter S Thompson's daily routine
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c00b186abb22652a32e655229805a439cbcef4a9/original/hunter-s-thompsons-daily-routine.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="620" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f325268cff40ba51260ca54405f0494c54bfd230/original/hunter-s-thompson-at-his-typewriter.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="404" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0ce4cf46871a33ac43feba94af47d540588fc0b1/original/hunter-s-thompson-911-commentary.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIzMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="230" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063888
2014-01-21T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:29:22-08:00
BERTOLT BRECHT quote
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8549f7886b4a2daf2cd28bc59fcc3cc7426a79a4/original/art-is-not-a-mirror-bertolt-brecht-quote.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063887
2014-01-09T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:29:38-08:00
What does viral mean ??
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/cd9ac6b6e24b286639d741590dff3794d18ed3bc/original/what-does-viral-mean.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQyNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="425" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063886
2014-01-06T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:29:59-08:00
THANKS MOM
<p>this (the shirt not the lady) reminds me of going to malls with my little 71 year old Italian mother and taking a not-so-quick detour to try on those <strong>stupid jeans</strong> the guys wear so we can laugh our asses off.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1fa4361eca865bd5cb50b28f14dd635a2bb21379/original/death-to-hipsters-lady.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYwNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="605" width="600" /></p>
<p>it's always the same routine......</p>
<p><strong>1)</strong> i shut the dressing room door</p>
<p><strong>2)</strong> take 5 minutes to finally <strong>shove</strong> my feet through both holes in the legs</p>
<p><strong>3)</strong> as they rise my ankles & calves <strong>immediately</strong> start to choke for air</p>
<p><strong>4)</strong> there's <strong>NO WAY</strong> they'll ever stay up without a belt <strong>AND</strong> holding them up at the same time</p>
<p><strong>5)</strong> i immediately think of a <strong>hamster</strong> storing its food in its cheeks the way they do</p>
<p><strong>6)</strong> and even though i'll probably never be a parent i now know <strong>EXACTLY</strong> what walking around with a shitty diaper looks <strong>AND</strong> feels like</p>
<p><strong>7)</strong> unless of course they're the super-tight around the ass variety and then that ends up looking like a <strong>play-doh head</strong> that just got punched in the face a few times</p>
<p>great look lemme tell ya</p>
<p>but we've been doing it for years</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>THANKS MOM</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></strong></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063885
2014-01-02T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:30:17-08:00
I want the story to be told like this.....
<p>people search for "<strong>Carella Ross Wiki</strong>" on my web stats like clockwork.</p>
<p><strong>FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH:</strong> i don't have a <strong>Wikipedia</strong> or <strong>IMDb</strong> page for my own Syd Barrett reasons. i could have them tomorrow if i want to live life like that come-lately cyber "see what i've done look at me & how i match up to the Jonses" accountant.</p>
<p> i <strong>do not want</strong> that Cracker set to be a part of my life. there's <strong>MUCH</strong> cooler ways outside of that iPhone brigade. only one of those iPhone douches "checking in" everywhere most of us do not give a shit about has not figured that out yet. i do not want the story to be told by the ones who were <strong>NOT</strong> invited. the ones who <strong>REALLY</strong> knew me past the ways the <strong>MORONS</strong> project <strong>THEIR</strong> shit upon people like me are the <strong>ONLY</strong> ones who deserve that baton. <strong>PLEASE KILL ME</strong> is my favorite book. let <strong>THAT</strong> next book tell the story. i could not care less about the associated paycheck or ways i can buy my way into <strong>PROOF</strong>.</p>
<p>my "Wikipedia" is here. you're here right now. it's called a <strong>WEBSITE</strong>. the Ameri-cons with all their "i'm the star even though i'm not & can't seem to make a $20 a month website fee happen but let's ask the web about it" ploys can ignore it <strong>ALL THEY WANT</strong>. the rest of the <strong>ENTIRE</strong> globe knows what is perpetuating like a mold.</p>
<p> it's more than kind of ironic that my world is now <strong>SO</strong> being built upon degrading the "rule of mob law" mentality of 311 million (less than half of <strong>ONE PERCENT OF THE ENTIRE GLOBE</strong>) mostly <strong>PAINFULLY MEDIOCRE</strong> chest-beating <strong>U-S-A</strong> chanting asswipes thinking they "<strong>run this shit</strong>" while the other <strong>7 BILLION</strong> people clearly state: <strong>THIS IS NOT THE CASE</strong>. </p>
<p>if they were not so entitled for <strong>no valid reason</strong> maybe (just maybe) they would notice the brick that just hit their forehead.</p>
<p>(i'm not) sorry if that does not fit into your "<strong>keeping the playing field level</strong>" agenda.</p>
<p>you can go fuck yourself and and and and and and and and and.......</p>
<p>it <strong>STILL</strong> changes absolutely nothing.</p>
<p><strong>*KISSES*</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4068c43e19efdf1ee5dfc8f1bed94c4eed0d2f3f/original/may-my-enemies-live-long-so-they-can-see-me-progress.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM2OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="369" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Hyz-mbctnpw" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063884
2014-01-01T16:00:00-08:00
2018-02-06T00:29:58-08:00
THE "NEW" Conformist
<p><iframe frameborder="0" height="100" scrolling="auto" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=3031034317/size=venti/bgcol=000000/linkcol=ccffcc/" style="position: relative; width: 400px; display: block; height: 100px;" width="400"></iframe></p>
<p>just for the hell of it let's do a little social networking commentary regarding certain "lucky they have a hole" puke-a-little-in-my-cyber-mouth <strong>ABOUT ME</strong> sections of "fan pages" with "fan art" in 2014.</p>
<p><strong>THANKS OBAMA !!!!!!!!!!! ===> actually i meant FagBook</strong></p>
<p>here goes..........a little Spinal Tap <strong>math</strong> for this come-lately millenni-ummmmmmm you might be a following fuckin' idiot.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>THE FORMULA</strong></span> </p>
<p>tattoos everywhere (gotta have at least one star in there somewhere). the tramp stamp vicinity is old hat. try a rainbow of them on the stomach rising from the gloryhole below. neck = keep the colors pretty. collar bone = some phrase that lets us know your dropout G.E.D. ass beat the system.</p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> </p>
<p>parlay that shit into "published" fetish model in some rag with <strong>Ink</strong> in the name. you might make the <strong>Top Ten</strong> of some shitty irrelevant website and score dozens of hits and have some Chester The Molesters ask you for your autograph at some equally shitty trade show in [pick the city].</p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> </p>
<p>the oh-so-original holding my naked tits in my hands <strong>oopsie</strong> i'm almost pulling my panties off if this red polished dagger does not stab my sexy lip & <strong>Grrr</strong> teeth first photos (better have some of <strong>THOSE</strong> prints for sale since the "<strong>me pretending to do drugs</strong>" ones never move many units).</p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> </p>
<p>part-time "makeup artist", "stylist", "dancer", "video vixen", and/or "musician" of some sort. any of those <strong>Jack-of-all-Fakes</strong> tags will do. </p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong></p>
<p>Model Mayhem profile (an absolute <strong>MUST</strong>).</p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> </p>
<p>fire breather (ok i'm stretching shit here).</p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> </p>
<p>that colored contact lenses <strong>Hot Topic</strong> military hat knock-off boyfriend named after an animal of the forest, some character from ancient and/or religious texts, Egyptian folklore, or any astrological or other wonder found up in the sky like weather (<strong>rain</strong>) or space (<strong>star</strong>) who plays in a band named after some type of vapor, chemical, machinery, or violent verb ====> Kill [just about anything] most definitely applies here.</p>
<p>(<strong>HOLLYHOOD NOTE</strong>: a <strong>FIERCE</strong> Bar Sinister photo of you two would be a nice added touch especially if it serves as a vengeful replacement for the same one you took with the last guy) </p>
<p><strong>[PLUS]</strong> <strong> </strong></p>
<p>endless tagged photos with various other <strong>tongue-sticking-out-metal-sign-frankenfuck-moon-boots-wielding-note-takers</strong> following the same exact <em><strong>How To Be A Freak For Dummies</strong></em> rules & regulations outlined above.</p>
<p><strong>[EQUALS]</strong> </p>
<p>why don't you just type <strong>2004 MYSPACE CHICK</strong> and save yourself the time & effort of attempting to describe it any other way ??????</p>
<p>at least she was kind of original. sure the amateurs will not get it but all the ones with some shred of internet street credibility will. at times "<strong>retro</strong>" can go a long way with those people. they can be very forgiving if you're honest with them up front. </p>
<p>irony is your friend. if underneath the obvious costume you're completely boring and normal refer to yourself as "strange" and if "violence is not the answer" shaves your "i call the cops" pussy make sure "die" and "death" somehow work into your fake blood Zombie photo shoots. </p>
<p>you're such a badass.</p>
<p>we dig that shit.</p>
<p></p>
<p>anyway..................</p>
<p>let's meet up at your favorite vegan eatery soon and i'll bring you a copy of my horribly overwrought poetry book <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">THE NEW CONFORMIST</span></strong></p>
<p>but it would be best if you stink of Jack Daniels & cigarettes.</p>
<p><strong>mmmk</strong> ???</p>
<p>you'll <strong>LOVE</strong> it.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHEZZZZ !!!!!</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/50f3c6ddf31471c79f18ea840274d9c9703b3395/original/a-nice-cup-of-shut-the-fuck-up.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDY1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="650" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063883
2013-12-07T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:30:56-08:00
We should just call it Fat Girl
<p>i know i'm a complete asshole for even having one but <strong>I SWEAR </strong>one of the only real purposes of having "friends" i don't know on FagBook is to watch <strong>THEIR</strong> friends...ya know those people i literally NEVER associate with. it's like going to the zoo without the walking. it's amusing how desperate they are to say/type the right things.</p>
<p>you guys could probably post a picture of ketchup and one of them would type <strong>"OMG that ketchup is SOOOO good. nom nom nom. my all-time fav. totes adorbs."</strong> seriously the special olympics is not this good. i guess this is what happens when you can't get attention by simply doing something great. rather you're trained like a monkey to behave this way on FB.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b73b4c1eebe8d6c1bbfa5153f9d407b6f2c98d43/original/merry-christmas-ya-filthy-animal.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI2MyJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="263" width="600" /></p>
<p>oh and what language is <strong>nom nom nom</strong> and <strong>totes adorbs</strong> anyway ?? if <strong>American Retard</strong> is already taken we should just call it <strong>Fat Girl</strong>.</p>
<p> <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /><img src="" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" /><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
<p>c="http://carellaross.com/img/Heinz_ketchup.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="450" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063882
2013-11-29T16:00:00-08:00
2014-06-16T01:07:42-07:00
Brylcreem stinks
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/90db8bf7a0967171b224a320c5572c7d973eb3b7/original/20-white-house.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="350" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/581780003da51f667ab551d0f9556c7475511187/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="325" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/nWh-G3MFkSA" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>originally instead of the trailer above i had posted the full version of that documentary. due to a copyright claim it is no longer available. it discussed the Powell memo in detail and that's why this link is here.<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/581780003da51f667ab551d0f9556c7475511187/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /><a href="http://law.wlu.edu/deptimages/Powell%20Archives/PowellMemorandumTypescript.pdf" target="blank" data-imported="1"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3e369efc4eeb8c987debcde988e22b80bfc3a400/original/powell-memo-pdf-link.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="50" width="600" /></a> <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/581780003da51f667ab551d0f9556c7475511187/original/00-divider.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDYyIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="62" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2ed6736e82d49291d99863fa5be9bdc3d93e50e4/original/lewis-f-powell-jr-supreme-court-photo.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM0OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="349" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/63832967402da5b843c203ce7ec0c8fa1cf2b8e0/original/brylcreem-stinks.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<p>and now of course the depression-era children of those men <strong>(see the Koch brothers)</strong> and the corporate trash of our generations are following this same exact doctrine while pumping it full of steroids.</p>
<p></p>
<p>(interesting note) within this memo we also see the birth of the <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>401K</strong></span> which was deliberately established to favor corporate $$ interests while systematically cutting the average worker's retirement benefits in half with ease. and <strong>here's the true trump</strong> my friends: the ones setting up those accounts <em><strong>actually</strong></em> think they're "responsible intelligent citizens" for playing ball.</p>
<p></p>
<p>train them to regurgitate that old "look on the bright side" cliche <strong>something is better than nothing</strong> and the rest is child's play.</p>
<p></p>
<p>meet/smell the new face/stink of <strong>POSITIVE THINKING</strong>.</p>
<p></p>
<p>we swim in the irony that the <strong>ONLY</strong> real <strong>consistent & predictable </strong>bipartisanship (through every single President of the last 34 years = from Reagan to Daddy Bush to Clinton to Georgie Boy and of course Mr. Barack Obama) we can find time & time again in Washington is the step-by-step deliberate deregulation-based theft of the American public.</p>
<p></p>
<p>and we do not even have to wait for 2016 to know or perhaps truly <strong>understand</strong> that regardless of age, gender, race, background, party affiliation, or campaign promises the next President will continue that business as usual while those Ameri-con morons we call neighbors debate who is going to "fix" this mess. </p>
<p></p>
<p>this shit is evil <strong>GENIUS.</strong></p>
<p></p>
<p> it's been almost 43 years since the Powell memo was 1st published in 1971.</p>
<p></p>
<p>that's <strong>a lot</strong> of time.</p>
<p></p>
<p>that's <strong>a lot</strong> of damage. </p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b73b4c1eebe8d6c1bbfa5153f9d407b6f2c98d43/original/merry-christmas-ya-filthy-animal.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI2MyJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="263" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
<p></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063881
2013-11-28T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:31:35-08:00
and the world is your mother fuckin' Oz
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7370cfbbb26951d09376bd0c5f3fd72a5454990c/original/westworld-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="312" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8045a32850662fa1910c80f9d58a0281787d81af/original/and-the-world-is-your-mother-fuckin-oz.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ2MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="462" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/bd8e714f639d828322824927032a7d060d9a4365/original/westworld.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="312" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063879
2013-11-21T16:00:00-08:00
2016-11-26T06:47:51-08:00
the Ameri-con in a Nutsack
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/612d45e493dd6af2aeec49e8f5dbd71a89a8cac8/original/12-steps-and-a-winding-road.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI1NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="255" width="600" /></p>
<p>(not forgetting the need for a complete upheaval of Washington as we now know it) no one and i mean <strong>NO ONE</strong> is going to "lead" this nation before <strong>we</strong> make America go up to the podium <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>just like an AA meeting</strong></span> and admit what a joke they have become and how they have shit on their family, friends, and fellow workers.</p>
<p><em><strong>hi my name is so & so and i am a lazy apathetic passive observing piece of Ameri-con shit</strong></em> </p>
<p>and the other seated pieces of shit go </p>
<p><em><strong>hi piece of shit</strong></em>.</p>
<p>and we move forward.</p>
<p>without that full admission we have no truthful potent foundation to (re)build upon.</p>
<p><strong>THAT's</strong> positive. not saying it that way and instead trying to muster some light-hearted feel-good-hit-of-the-summer way to describe this social & mental ghetto that has festered from a 100 year old Federal Reserve cyst is what <strong>NEGATIVE</strong> is really about now.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ebfef88df5c616f90387b68eb2af8610b40575ff/original/americon-banner.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="50" width="600" /></p>
<p>all the <strong>flag-waving "we're a great nation" chest-beating bravado</strong> is not only completely false but it is exactly like handing out trophies and praise to the last place losers of a race. and the fact that there are any stragglers left who will bitch at anyone clearly stating that <strong>OBVIOUS</strong> reality stamps home how true that statement <strong>REALLY</strong> is at this point.</p>
<p>(just don't ask our fellow like-groveling idiots on FagBook)</p>
<p>and <strong>THAT's</strong> the Ameri-con in a nutsack.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f0b2528fd9f319a9a22212a66a16816d8761a9a0/original/marshall-mcluhan-quote-about-fish.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEyOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="128" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2c49bc10b7b187c73965d178e08369faeb62464b/original/the-ameri-con-in-a-nutsack.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063880
2013-11-19T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:32:13-08:00
Women With Big Butts Are Smarter and Healthier
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6e1aed0ee165b0c3a32690d0510e67932c36abba/original/women-with-big-butts-are-smarter-and-healthier.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="430" width="600" /></p>
<p>i'm not going to link to this for obvious reasons. 1st notice the size of the rest of her. something tells me that will leave the building quicker than Elvis once this is taken out of context by the <strong>YOU KNOW WHOs</strong>. 2nd does this apply to <span class="text_exposed_show">Kim Kardashian ?? 3rd you do understand how clicks affect the sale of internet advertising right ?? more often than not it doesn't really matter how they get you there as long as they get you there.<br><br>and for anyone out there who actually buys this shit just change <strong>big</strong> to <strong>tiny</strong> in that headline and i guarantee not only will it <strong>MAGICALLY</strong> morph into the most ridiculous nonsense most over a certain weight have seen on the internet today but Miley could twerk by those plumpers fuming their outrage and they wouldn't even notice.<br><br>they'd be busy telling us how <strong>smart</strong> they are for clicking on this dumb shit so they could be bought and sold like cattle. that wasn't really meant to be a pun but..........<strong>OUCH</strong> !!<br><br>you want "smart" and "healthy" ???<br><br><strong>put down the fork.</strong><br><br>your pal,<br><br><strong>Dr. Carella</strong> <br><br>(and that visit was free of charge)</span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ebfef88df5c616f90387b68eb2af8610b40575ff/original/americon-banner.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDUwIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="50" width="600" /></span></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063878
2013-11-18T16:00:00-08:00
2017-01-09T17:51:08-08:00
George Creel meet Bootlicker. Bootlicker meet George Creel.
<p>in order to sell World War I to the public Creel estimated 72 million copies of about 30 different booklets defining & preaching a "new American ideal" were sent across the United States as well as millions more throughout Europe.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/24b25d4646b40fbc01cb106d72ae5a2a81bc7fd1/original/meet-george-creel.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ0MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="440" width="600" /></p>
<p>the goal was to persuade the home population and those abroad to not interpret events from what Creel called a "class or sectional standpoint" but rather as a unified collective herded into what he referred to as "one white hot mass instinct" so the word <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>civilization</strong></span> would transmute into the word <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>democracy</strong></span><strong> </strong>without requiring any real and/or proper definition of democracy to back it up.<br></p>
<p>oh and they renamed <strong>Sauerkraut</strong> ===> <strong>Liberty Cabbage</strong> around the same time. </p>
<p>see: when you're dealing with a nation of sleepwalking morons who can tell us who was booted off of <em><strong>Dancing With the</strong> <strong>Stars</strong></em> last week quicker than anything about the history of their own country you can use that same <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em><strong>Freedom Fries</strong></em></span> trick almost 100 years later and so few will even know it happened. </p>
<p>so if and when anyone like me <em><strong>bothers</strong></em> you with the unfortunate truths about the United States of Amnesia & the painfully obvious characteristics it repeats like a broken record not only do you have <em><strong>I AM MOST DEFINITELY PART OF THE PROBLEM</strong></em> stamped on your clueless forehead but you are the <strong><em>exact</em></strong> dog George Creel trained you to be..................</p>
<p> <strong>100 FUCKING YEARS AGO</strong></p>
<p>each & every time you play that "one white hot mass instinct" card by taking it personally you truly are a societal nuisance and you are <strong>MOST CERTAINLY</strong> no "patriot" Orwell clearly defined so many years ago. you're a <em><strong>NATIONALIST</strong></em>. that's a chump raising the <strong>HEIL HITLER</strong> hand in an old photograph not a modern free thinker worthy of any real respect. there's a <strong>BIG</strong> difference. you would probably understand that if your TV ever bothered to mention that crucial technicality or you read a few books on the subject or online commentary written by someone other than typically uneducated marginal Ameri-con trash desperately trying to say the right thing so the <strong>others</strong> stroke their "like" buttons.</p>
<p>but hey <em><strong>if it</strong></em> <strong><em>ain't broke don't fix</em> <em>it</em></strong> =======> right ???</p>
<p>yeah.</p>
<p>so good luck with that <strong>killin' the messenger</strong> ploy with anyone who actually utilizes a functioning brain.</p>
<p>real profound work <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>Mr. or Ms. Bootlicker</strong></span>.</p>
<p><strong>*pets good lil puppy who shit in the right corner*</strong></p>
<p>[the original source of this and much more can be found <a href="http://carellaross.com/rantings__ravings/a_century_of_the_same_ol_shit/" data-imported="1">HERE</a>]</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6732aac074adc3b50d4f926e75cda2e9860198d5/original/a-good-lil-puppy-shitting-in-the-right-corner.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063877
2013-11-16T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:32:51-08:00
You're Going To Tour The World
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/814b8ad506563cf17b66b3fcc5cd6983a4172399/original/nellie-sepavich-1926-1926-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="432" width="600" /><iframe height="240" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=508279954/size=medium/bgcol=333333/linkcol=e32c14/t=1/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;" width="320"></iframe><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d294a1450c206a97f77521d1d1aba787acefd6e3/original/youre-going-to-tour-the-world-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="405" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/814b8ad506563cf17b66b3fcc5cd6983a4172399/original/nellie-sepavich-1926-1926-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="432" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063876
2013-11-09T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:42:11-08:00
The Moecherville Man
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="400" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/JqERJPBlDmE" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p>this is the infamous front lawn of a Vietnam Vet in the <strong>Moecherville</strong> (pronounced Mokerville) section of Aurora IL. it has evolved and expanded over the past 30 years or so (at least). although i did not live in Aurora this was most definitely my/our local <strong>Boo Radley</strong> as a kid. equal parts interesting, unique, and crazy. i'd love to produce a documentary about this man and the story behind his yard but he will not answer the door. does anyone out there know his name or anything else ???</p>
<p>oh and i think 1:51 - 1:57 is supposed to be <strong>Slave SHIP</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063875
2013-11-08T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:42:53-08:00
The problem with "don't sweat the small stuff"
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/16298eead0ad09a96e0ca5663dea371f92cb340f/original/your-next-misspelled-tattoo.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="600" /></p>
<p>how is it that <strong>EVERY SINGLE ONE</strong> of my foreign friends speaking and typing English as a 2nd (if not 3rd or 4th) language know how to spell <strong>YOU'RE</strong> properly but an insane amount of lazy uneducated <strong>Ameri-con</strong> idiots can not seem to figure it out ???</p>
<p>seriously even those weaned on Russian Cyrillic (American trash goes WHAAAT ???) get it no problem.</p>
<p>and to think so many of these <strong>FUCKING RETARDS</strong> actually have the audacity to think the planet should revolve around them. SURE. trophies for everyone i guess.</p>
<p>oh and <strong>THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ACTUALLY MORONS</strong> i'm just "angry" right ???</p>
<p>yeah.</p>
<p>thanks for the scoop <strong>Mr. or Ms. Mediocre</strong>. the reality of the street these days tells us all we need to know about that genius form of analysis and the profound laundry list of benefits it provides.</p>
<p>the problem with "don't sweat the small stuff" is that some worthless American piece of shit will <strong>WITHOUT A DOUBT</strong> figure out a way to make a bunch of those so-called molehills into a mountain of misguided realities.</p>
<p>SEE: cliches work both ways.</p>
<p><strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">AND NEVER FORGET:</span></strong></p>
<p><strong>when it comes to medocrity these air-wasters have a work ethic like no others.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/01e48b4fa288b77d78120a96c55bfc01ec488cb7/original/misspelled-your-dead-tattoo.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="352" width="600" /></p>
<p><strong></strong></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063874
2013-11-05T16:00:00-08:00
2016-02-19T22:08:18-08:00
Lucian Freud - Painted Life (full documentary)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f8b70e1f4bca16d2795e53fa2966df9b873d682c/original/lucian-freud-quote-on-becoming-an-artist.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI3NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="276" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f4e95a04c76d7132b9bb80d97daa6c1a1d3bfd30/original/lucian-freud-quote-from-painted-life.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEyOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="128" width="600" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9e17ab655ec601b212513129b00efad6c9c98a50/original/lucian-freud-photograhing-hitler.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI3NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="276" width="600" /></p>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="400" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VA6yGLydWtc" width="600" allowfullscreen="" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063873
2013-11-04T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T05:44:13-08:00
A Eulogy for Iggy Pop and David Bowie
<p>OK World Wide Web your assignment for the week is to begin writing your heartfelt eulogies for <strong>Iggy Pop</strong> and <strong>David Bowie</strong>.</p>
<p>don't worry if you do not actually own most (or any) of their albums. that's not the point here. this is about <strong><em>us</em></strong> not <em><strong>them</strong></em> anyway.</p>
<p>i figure if we get this rolling right now everyone will take full advantage of the web traffic benefits and we can strengthen that middle "like" button class.</p>
<p>let's get to it so everyone is a hero & everyone gets a trophy. </p>
<p>you all know the drill.</p>
<p>this is easy <strong>$$</strong> people.</p>
<p><strong>CHOP CHOP</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e92d95f774c18f41118e9113e4dd628f7ef9b4c4/original/iggy-pop-and-david-bowie.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="338" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063872
2013-10-21T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T05:44:33-08:00
ATTENTION TARGET SHOPPERS: Bang Bang You're Dead
<p><iframe height="240" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=508279954/size=medium/bgcol=333333/linkcol=e32c14/t=1/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;" width="320"></iframe></p>
<p><strong>WALKED INTO A TARGET FOR THE 1st TIME IN I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY YEARS AND THIS IS MY CONCLUSION:</strong> my age group really is the 1st official generation of what people now know as the "no-baby boom" and our numbers are massively rising as each year goes by. </p>
<p><br>don't get me wrong i generally dig kids i can give back...ya know...Uncle Carella sliggin' the candy and other edible bribes <strong>like a pimp lighting the crack pipe in front of my bitch's face</strong> before sending her back out on the track.</p>
<p>and this is not some personal attack on anyone's chosen lifestyle but those screaming brats spawned from nightmare sweatpant mommies who breed like rabbits need to go find some gas & matches ==> <strong>IMMEDIATELY</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ed74dc6396775074cd4cf5c42b9590f32c3f98aa/original/go-play-with-gas-and-matches.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p><br>even though the way those little butterballs stare at me <em><strong>IS</strong></em> mildly charming fuck those hotdog water stinkin' <strong>STDs</strong>. they all smell like rotten happy meals. they're like these processed genetically modified Monsanto piglets with longer legs.</p>
<p>oops. sorry. i meant to type: <em><strong>O M fucking G your kids are SO adorable just like their mom, this place is just FULL of really great bargains, and i know i know you are SO much classier and affluent than those rednecks at WalMart</strong></em>.</p>
<p><br>it does make me realize how much i love my life though. i'm so SO lucky.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/bad68915af27a0877db5fbbed8cc93fd86d06824/original/target-logo-bang-bang-youre-dead.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063871
2013-10-21T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T05:44:53-08:00
You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life (right ????)
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/05675519d99f7e84dd6b8b3d16791520b930c178/original/you-cannot-hang-out-with-negative-people-and-expect-to-live-a-positive-life.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDE5eDM1NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="355" width="419" /></p>
<p>case in point ===> any and <strong>EVERY</strong> Obama supporter as well as any and EVERY person who actually still believes another <strong>ELECTABLE</strong> (key word) Presidential name/face/Republican/Democrat will change anything but which artifice we slap on "business as usual" in the U.S. in 2013 and beyond. there's nothing remotely "positive" about that.</p>
<p>those truly are some of the most negative people we all know and whether you UNDERSTAND that or not changes absolutely nothing. it's not really negotiable or up for debate. that diplomatic and convenient <em><strong>get out of jail free</strong> <strong>card</strong></em> expired long ago.</p>
<p>and YES i expect for that to be a hard pill to swallow for those still trying to use the current <strong>Ameri-con</strong> bluff as mental and social commerce. you should read the "Buying into a shitty deal lock stock and barrel" chapter in your manuals before taxing anyone else about it a.k.a. start being <strong>TRULY POSITIVE</strong> again rather than yet another "well-meaning" societal weight on everyone else's shoulders.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/34a3b7d21489ca46eca18c0dd85c279854cac7a5/original/obama-lying-to-america.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI1NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="256" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063870
2013-10-03T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T05:58:51-08:00
A Bad Case of the Roaches
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7942874fbd8c0b2dadd213bc244ce00c1d11941e/original/just-say-no-to-crocs.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="600" /></p>
<p>i've been saying it for years: if the check-outs in Hollywood's grocery stores were STOCKED with rags like <em><strong>Average Fuck Weekly</strong></em>, <em><strong>Them Magazine</strong></em>, <em><strong>Non-Star</strong></em>, and they were filled with pictorials of how <strong>AWFUL</strong> most American men and women look and dress now</p>
<p><em><strong>oh look here's two skank soccer moms showing up to the school gala in the same Crocs or look at Neil and Bob sporting the same butterball around the waist this season notice the purr-fect hang over their belts</strong></em></p>
<p>gossiping about how they abuse their spouses with their star crushes on TV</p>
<p><em><strong>oh look Barb has left her 3-name hunk from One Tree Hill behind for some "dancing with the" star who looks like one of the Whos from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas</strong></em></p>
<p> and various other classless behaviors that have been psychotically beaten and shaped into "normalcy" now through nothing more than sheer broken-record-like repetition and of course being constantly surrounded by little to nothing better than that.</p>
<p>how about comparing their salaries at Walmart and beyond or better yet a column about who gets the most "bang" for their lunch breaks. i like the sound of that. that could be <strong>HOTT </strong>!!</p>
<p>how about a "anatomy of a fat ass" chart that points out all the areas where they need plastic surgery rather than where they had it including interviews with a trained anonymous "insider" who has performed the surgical removal of some sweatpants, a remote control, a Lazy Boy chair, and countless forks.</p>
<p>the general public would <strong>FUCKING FREAK OUT</strong>.</p>
<p>you wanna talk about rape culture ??? cool we should do that but we need to add <strong>rape by average fuck culture</strong> to the mix as well.</p>
<p>it's a bad case of the roaches.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/984b83068470904d759889a88615910de7716a75/original/a-bad-case-of-the-roaches.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="392" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063869
2013-08-29T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T05:59:16-08:00
and i'm not supposed to call these people TRASH ??
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">man they're getting good at this shit. they can't sway the public opinion of that mass of Americans with functioning brains who DO NOT WANT WAR WITH SYRIA so they have to resort to the rantings of a kid in a FAGBook post. that's where we're at now ??</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">frightening part is ploys like this usually work with those marginal chest-beating idiots we call neighbors...ya know those geniuses who will do NOTHING more tomorrow than punch their alarms and get back to tending the farm like the obedient worker bees they have become and everyone else will have to suffer the consequences.</div>
<p></p>
<div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><div class="video responsive"><div class="video-container"><iframe frameborder="0" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DZVCtZKVZGA" width="600" class="wrapped wrapped"></iframe></div></div></div></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">also while they're playing their emotional manipulation games they always conveniently forget that OTHER PEOPLE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO THEIR OPINION regarless of whether anyone is "offended" or not.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">"i'm offended" DOES NOT COUNT FOR SHIT !!</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">Americans are the whiniest little cunts on the block these days.....</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">but let's coddle and nurture that glaring inadequacy because a bunch of classless uneducated morons are going to get butt-hurt over the rantings of a FUCKING KID so years from now we can be tangled up in YET ANOTHER fruitless mess.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">makes complete sense.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">and i'm not supposed to call these people TRASH ??</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">you must be out of your fucking mind.</div>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e7b148ef82ba7cdb40e3e4da3850df6d5339da9a/original/bashar-al-assads-son-hafez-facebook-post.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDkxIl0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="91" width="600" /></p>
<p>man they're getting good at this shit. they can't sway the public opinion of that mass of Americans with functioning brains who <strong>DO NOT WANT WAR WITH SYRIA</strong> so they have to resort to the rantings of a kid in a FAGbook post ?? that's where we're at now ???</p>
<p>frightening part is ploys like this usually work with those marginal chest-beating idiots we call neighbors.....ya know those geniuses who will do NOTHING more tomorrow than punch their alarms and get back to tending the farm like the obedient worker bees they have become and everyone else will have to suffer the consequences.</p>
<p>also while they're playing their emotional manipulation games they always conveniently forget that <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">OTHER PEOPLE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO THEIR OPINIONS</span></strong> regardless of whether anyone is "offended" or not.</p>
<p>besides "i'm offended" <strong>DOES NOT COUNT FOR SHIT</strong> !! that ploy only works with those feeble-minded losers who can't facilitate an approach with a lot more lasting and meaningful effect.</p>
<p>those Americans truly are the whiniest little cunts on the block these days.....those lost little Cindy Bradys who think they're going to tattle their way to each and every victory because a few worthless cronies surrounding them operate the same way =====> AND fall for that shit.</p>
<p>but let's coddle and nurture that glaring inadequacy because a bunch of classless uneducated morons are going to get butt-hurt over the rantings of a <strong>FUCKING KID</strong> so years from now we can be tangled up in <strong>YET ANOTHER</strong> fruitless mess.</p>
<p>makes complete sense.</p>
<p>and i'm not supposed to call these people <strong>TRASH</strong> ??</p>
<p>you must be out of your fucking mind (or one of <em><strong>them</strong></em>).</p>
<p>The Screeching Kettle posted <em><strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">Six reasons the West wants Assad to GTFO</span></strong></em> ===> <a href="http://screechingkettle.blogspot.com/2013/01/six-reasons-west-wants-assad-to-gtfo.html" target="blank" data-imported="1">[HERE]</a> </p>
<p>that is one perspective. no one is claiming it to be the word of God but it's by far the best (concise) summary i have encountered so far.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0908e143db5fdb1dfa7ae0d1aafeb26c39755130/original/syrian-kid-with-a-gun.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM5OSJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="399" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063868
2013-08-06T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T06:22:06-08:00
We're off to see the wizard.....
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f344eb95b01d83da8169073acb8725158a513720/original/if-criminals-cant-print-money-why-can-banks.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="312" width="600" /></p>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">the answer is Commercial Bank money. when banks issue loans to the public they create new commercial bank money. when a customer repays a loan the commercial bank money is destroyed & the banks keep the interest as profit.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">in plain English: they're not loaning YOUR money which is EXACTLY why you think you are giving it to them. NOTE: isn't it BIZARRE that most people would not give their money to a friend to hold yet they've been trained that it is completely normal to do the same with complete strangers who are deliberately deceiving them ??</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">most people think of banks in terms of that piggy bank scenario bank they held as children. you put money in and it holds it but to think the same of a commercial bank is truly "childish".</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">anyone who does business with commercial banks for ANY reason (including a simple savings account) is part of the problem.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">when you ask "why am i making less ?? why does everything cost more & more ??"</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">sure part of the answer is commercial banks BUT the rest of the answer is mostly likely staring back at you in your mirror.</div>
<p><strong>IN THE INTEREST OF SHARING INFORMATION </strong>the answer is Commercial Bank money. when banks issue loans to the public they create new commercial bank money. when a customer repays a loan the commercial bank money is destroyed & the banks keep the interest as profit.</p>
<p>in plain English: they're not loaning YOUR money which is EXACTLY why you think you are giving it to them. plus there are no laws regulating how much they can do that now.</p>
<p>NOTE: isn't it <strong>BIZARRE</strong> that most people would not give their money to a friend to hold yet they've been trained that it is completely normal to do the same with complete strangers who are deliberately deceiving them ??</p>
<p>most people think of banks in terms of that piggy bank scenario they held as children. you put money in and it holds it but to think the same of a commercial bank is truly childish.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/398b0234eb4d9946d8e950e46c3b72ccc499aea1/original/accounting-trick-of-banks.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEwMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="103" width="600" /></p>
<p>this also means that as a general rule ===> <strong><span style="font-weight:bold; text-decoration:underline">money is debt & debt is money</span>. </strong><strong> </strong><strong>"the only way the government can create additional purchasing power is by getting itself and us into more debt".</strong></p>
<p>and hey that <em>might</em> be fine if there were widespread benefits for the entire population as a whole but what is it when it is <em><strong>completely</strong></em> fucking most people straight up the ass without vaseline ???</p>
<p>so anyone who does business with commercial banks for ANY reason (including a simple savings account) is part of the problem and i'm certainly not suggesting for a second that that is not completely <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">FUCKED</span></strong> up.</p>
<p>but don't do that and <em>then</em> ask "why am i making less ?? why does everything cost more & more ??"</p>
<p>sure <strong><em>part</em></strong> of the answer is commercial banks creating money out of nothing BUT the rest of the answer is most likely staring back at you in your mirror.</p>
<p>plus now that you've read this: if you <em>knowingly </em>jump into a locked cage don't ask why you are trapped. and anyone who now spews one of those weightless <em><strong>well then how do i buy a car without dealing with a bank ?</strong></em> questions is like an idiot asking how to change the channel without the remote.</p>
<p>educate yourself & live more creatively & you will easily figure it out. </p>
<p>the system is the system. if we eliminated it today the world's economy would collapse. we're in too deep. we can not change that but we CAN change the process by which our money is allocated or spent & of course monitor how much we borrow.</p>
<p>how dependent are you on all of this (??) is a crucial question to ask because the more dependent you are the worse you are making it, not only for yourself, but for <em><strong>everyone</strong></em> else as well.</p>
<p>without a truly democratic process we have no democracy and as of this very moment we have no democracy especially when a mere handful of banks hold about 85% of all deposits now. does that sound like democracy to you ??? call it something else. the charade just makes it worse because it implies "business as usual" is just fine. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/991478120531fdf2371fc5df1577e7a3c9859b4a/original/ben-bernanke-is-an-absolute-piece-of-shit.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="309" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063867
2013-08-01T17:00:00-07:00
2014-07-14T21:35:54-07:00
This Week on DAYS OF OUR FEIGNED OUTRAGE starring Justin Beaver
<p> </p>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">actually this will probably go down like everything else ==> some "public" who has never supported him anyway will feign outrage about it...quickly and easily forget about it as soon as the next "drama" rears its ugly head....and he will "go" nowhere except for exactly where he is.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;"></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">fuck...he's just building that predictable "comeback kid" card. "oh i was young and dumb THEN but i repent my sins blah blah blah".</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;"></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">i can hear it now.</div>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/dfbc8253199569cc8a5f562c77e3dc0b6e18c34d/original/justin-bieber-spitting-on-his-fans.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjE1eDQwOSJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="409" width="615" /></p>
<p>actually this will probably go down like everything else ==></p>
<p><strong>1)</strong> some "public" who has never supported him anyway and could not stop him to begin with will feign outrage and quickly and easily forget about it as soon as the next "drama" rears its ugly head.</p>
<p><strong>2)</strong> he plays that predictable "comeback kid" card. <em><strong>oh i was young and dumb THEN but i repent my sins will you (pretty) please take me back blah blah blah</strong></em>.</p>
<p>i can hear and see it now. in a society of fair-weathered whores this is an <strong>EASY </strong>one. plus it's ripe material for a key chapter in his autobiography. it will sell more books.</p>
<p>as a general rule the American public really only cares about being "right". that was "right" not right. there is a glaring difference. as long as you assure them they're "right" you can go ahead with the original plan and get away with just about anything (insert the word democracy here). they'll point their fingers, make sure you know they "told you so", and they'll be back to their meaningless routines quicker than Rain Man. it's a simple little game called ==> <strong>LOSER PLAYS THE BOSS</strong>. considering they're only using you to fill the empty cracks of their boring lives before punching alarms and dinner bells and returning to tending the farm like obedient worker bees it's not too difficult to pull off anyway.</p>
<p><strong>3)</strong> he will "go" nowhere except for some perceived different locale other than where he already is.</p>
<p>his estimated net worth is now well over $100 million dollars so it's a little late for those petty <em>nah nah nah nah nah nah </em>games. besides if this version of "tattling" is fail safe these days do you think Kim Kardashian would still be around ??</p>
<p>Beaver could retire tomorrow. "destroying" his career accomplishes little more than guaranteeing he'll never have to work another day in his life. this is also where those SHITTY JOB people drowning in debt mock "one hit wonders" and play "where are they now?" games in between slaving to their grinds. it's all very very <strong>PRECIOUS</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>c'mon people !! whip up a more potent batch of bile.</strong></p>
<p>this shit is weak.</p>
<p>UPDATE: about a month after this was posted the infamous <em><strong>Miley twerking bomb</strong></em> dropped and everyone forgot all about it. they had a new <em><strong>i'm so offended</strong></em> fish to fry. yep.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5847bcf7c5a5a2a5061f54d5bd7672027d77c076/original/rain-man-im-an-excellent-driver.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI3NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="277" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
<p> </p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063866
2013-07-23T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T06:39:29-08:00
You & your Normalcy Bias
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e79f5bcedc2561b11aaed07f8038937bb1e4743b/original/dollar.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI1NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="256" width="600" /></p>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">(sorry if this is news to you but you're definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed either). the American economy could have easily crashed as earlier as 2008. Our Fed and the powers that be pulled a smoke & mirrors scam and shifted as much of the burden on Europe as they could get away with. Greece imploded instead of L.A. or New York or Chicago or Detroit or Philadelphia, or [insert any U.S. city]. it's as simple as that. now those cities *just* exist in "insolvent" states that are literally bankrupt. unemployment alone is crushing them all. oh and that was NOT a dig at anyone on unemployment. anyone dumb enough to play that simpleton feeble minded card ==> since we're ALL on this ship you're a loser too. sorry if that lil News Flash ruined your predictable ploy.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;"></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">so here's THE train wreck states ==> California, Michigan, NY, Penn, Ohio, Illinois. there's your top (bottom) 6. to perpetuate the lie your Federal Reserve is printing/borrowing over 3 million dollars per minute IT DOES NOT HAVE....that's over 188 million an hour and over 4.5 billion PER DAY. and every second that goes by it increases. most of it is not even ending up tangible money we can track down on the street so we can swim in the quicksand of endless "digital" money that is impossible to keep track of.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;"></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">they can only continue that as long as the U.S. has the rest of the world to "back" that loan. once (as in WHEN not if) they gong the dollar as the world's reserve currency that printing stops. STOPS. did you read "STOPS. do you need to look up "STOPS" ?? the giant mooching "we're the best" welfare ends. what happens then ?? </div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;"></div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">as i've suggested to a few people this week ===> look up "normalcy bias" and read it TWICE. it's about when "that could not possibly happen because it has never happened before" meets reality. ask a Jew in Nazi Germany about it if you're "confused" how it just *might" POSSIBLY get a lil "negative" when it's misused.</div>
<p><strong><em>sorry if this is news to you but you're definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed either so....</em></strong></p>
<p>the American economy easily could have collapsed as early as 2008. Our Fed Reserve and the powers that be pulled a smoke & mirrors scam and shifted as much of the burden on Europe as they could get away with. Greece imploded instead of L.A. or New York or Chicago or Detroit or Philadelphia or [insert any U.S. city]. it's as simple as that. now those cities *just* exist in "insolvent" a.k.a. bankrupt states. unemployment alone is crushing them all while your government continues to lie about the true numbers.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/cb6288069cb955f4c4dbcc22219183b448ea0881/original/forbes-quote-about-the-way-the-government-deliberately-lies-about-unemplyment.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMxNyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="317" width="600" /></p>
<p>(oh and that was <span style="text-decoration:underline">NOT</span> an indirect passive aggressive pussy dig at anyone on unemployment. here's a tip for anyone dumb enough to play that simpleton feeble-minded card ==> since we're ALL on this ship you're a loser too. sorry if that lil News Flash ruined your predictable <strong>monkey-see-money-hear-monkey-do </strong>ploy....but then again if you actually <em>fall </em>for this come-lately version of the Ameri-con your "dumb fuck" is never too far behind right ?? so what more should i/we expect anyway)</p>
<p>so here's THE train wreck states ==> California, Michigan, NY, Penn, Ohio, Illinois. there's your top (bottom) 6 of the at least 32 who are now completely broke. to perpetuate the lie your Federal Reserve is printing/borrowing over 3 million dollars per minute IT DOES NOT HAVE....that's over 180 million per hour and over 4.3 <strong>billion</strong> PER DAY. and every second that goes by it increases. most of it is not even tangible physical money we can track down on the street so we can swim in the quicksand of endless "digital" money that is impossible to keep track of.</p>
<p>the Fed can only continue that as long as the U.S. has the rest of the world to "back" that loan. once (as in WHEN not if) they gong the dollar as the world's reserve currency that printing stops. <strong>STOPS</strong>. did you read "STOPS". do you need to look up "STOPS" ??</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/eea54ee2887abf2a025a2f0fa5c882cbd8ca4f00/original/to-stop-definition.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDEzMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="131" width="600" /></p>
<p>because it means the giant mooching "we're the best" welfare ends. what happens then ?? </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/efc8ba8e7cef850d3de180195f75cf365974e225/original/the-imf-is-calling-for-a-new-global-currency.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDIwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="600" /></p>
<p>add a "President" who will never <strong>ONCE in 8 years explain any of this to an uneducated ignorant public</strong> while he plays the swell guy "hero" feigning drama about each and every Trayvon story that keeps all eyes off this much more important tragedy & we have <em>the</em> ultimate recipe for disaster that we will <em>ever</em> witness.</p>
<p>in the world of real life collateral damage & destruction 9/11 is <strong>CHILD'S PLAY </strong>compared to this. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2b956a9c533b38124dd0efc888901804470fcec4/original/forrest-gump-stupid-is-as-stupid-does.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="275" width="600" /></p>
<p>as i've suggested to a few people this week ===> look up "normalcy bias" <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normalcy_bias" target="_blank" data-imported="1">[HERE]</a> and read it TWICE. it's when "that could not possibly happen because it has never happened before" meets reality. ask a Jew who survived Nazi Germany about it if you're "confused" how it just might POSSIBLY get a lil <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">negative</span></strong> when it's misused....especially when the warning signs are all out in the open and for many years as well.</p>
<p>this isn't about being "right". it's about <strong>WATCH YOUR ASS</strong>.....especially if you have kids or elderly parents who need you to be as intelligent & aware as possible right now.</p>
<p>oh & if any of those "tin foil hat" wielding chumps we call neighbors these days wants to talk any shit about this just guide him/her back to this <strong>"don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash"</strong> graph like you would a toddler to a toilet. if he/she is going to act like a child he/she should be treated like one. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/686f6879a3c6db3e619693aa3cc1b483e013544c/original/total-u-s-household-debt.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTgxeDM4MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="380" width="581" /></p>
<p>wanna know how broke that is ?? if you started on Day 1 of YEAR ZERO continuing each of the 365 days of the next 2013 years you would have to spend almost $17.7 million you do not have <strong>EVERY DAY</strong>. 365 X 2013 = 734,745 days. 13,000,000,000,000 / 734,745 = $17,693,213 (& a LOT of change).</p>
<p>and we managed to rack up that ENTIRE bill in about 100 years.</p>
<p>but don't worry all you genius debunkers out there: this all makes complete sense. this mess isn't "unfixable". America is not the gold medal <strong>DEADbeat Nation of the Planet</strong> champion. anyone who claims that would be <span style="font-weight:bold; text-decoration:underline">CRAZY</span>. in fact if he/she hates America that much he/she should probably move to Cuba or some other land-of-the-bad guy right ??? sure.</p>
<p>if you actually spew that weightless indoctrinated drivel like a good lil obedient worker bee do our society a favor and go play with these.........<strong><strong>QUICKLY</strong>. <span style="text-decoration:underline">do something useful for a change</span>.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ed74dc6396775074cd4cf5c42b9590f32c3f98aa/original/go-play-with-gas-and-matches.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063865
2013-06-25T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T06:40:14-08:00
Homosexuals Are Gay
<p><strong>[posted from Facebook]</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/56890c0f989b347f9fa98815857ebbded1e00364/original/homosexuals-are-gay.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDQ1MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="452" width="500" /></p>
<p><span style="color:#c0c0c0"><span style="line-height:18px">"change starts at home" so <strong>AS IT RELATES TO CHICAGO</strong>: don't get me wrong it's cool that so many of you "support" today's (you know what) news but if you want to support the gay community go to Spin or Roscoe's or Little Jim's or Hydrate or S</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display:inline; line-height:18px">idetrack. find a seat. own up to it. check in on Four Square or Hopscotch or whatever that stupid 8th grade shit is so many post on here. hang for the night & tip your bartender and/or cocktail WAITER well. shit...go a step further & tag it in your lame bar photo along with those chachi knuckleheads that surround you because you're a safe bet. or tell that midwestern loser with the fag joke at your next Cubs game to shut the fuck up making sure all the other painfully marginal patron saints of those perennial "lovable" losers hear you. deal with the rolling eyes and the rest of the shit sandwich served up by their pig mates & then you'll be getting somewhere.<br><br>try the same at a white trash Rush St. bar. the costumes & artifice will be different but the shit still smells the same.<br><br>in other words there's SO many ways........<br><br>also "say the right thing" placards & grandstanding pontifications are about as worthful as Christians' prayers after a natural disaster. i FULLY realize this. it's the main reason why so many of you are going to read this and skip the "like". you still read it right ?? that WAS the whole point and hey at least my material is original. <br><br>going to a parade on Sunday because it's an open invitation to be a complete loudmouth badly dressed drunken idiot (more than anything else) means little to nothing as well. remove that part of the predictable formula and we'll soon see where a sizeable chunk of that "support" ends up.<br><br><strong>===> light flips on <===</strong><br><br><strong>==> roaches scatter <==</strong><br><br>it's about as appealing as church to me.<br><br>NEVER FORGET that Boystown did not originally come to be because Chicago is SO progressive. in fact it's the exact opposite. Boystown was and still is a safe haven. it's a death star force field for the [insert lifestyle slur here]. Chicago historically has EASILY been one of the most segregated and bigoted big cities in the U.S. and any so-called Chi-town whiner getting butt-hurt (pun?) over that is not very "Chi" at all. you obviously don't know your own city. then again ==> MAYBE YOU DO.<br><br>just something to think about that's not PLAYIN' THE MIDDLE as so many of you are SO good at. diplomats til the end as long as it gets you the attention you so rightfully deserve right ?? <br><br>as Tina once sang "we don't need another hero or was it poseur ???" (bitchezzz)</span></span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display:inline; color:#37404e; line-height:18px"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display:inline; color:#37404e; line-height:18px"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/afb0cbc5eb91745b64cdeade7105c6fdfa4d9079/original/tina-turner-thunderdome.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="304" width="600" /></span></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063864
2013-04-11T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T06:40:39-08:00
L-O-S-E-R spells winner ?? NOPE
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2dc4c4c773b479b8dae72a95f654d24eddda4d2f/original/loser-light.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MjU5eDE5NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="194" width="259" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/2dc4c4c773b479b8dae72a95f654d24eddda4d2f/original/loser-light.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MjU5eDE5NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="194" width="259" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>as it relates to the outside world i always tread cautiously this time of year. it's 4 months into that inevitable and predictable post-Xmas lull as we move into that equally predictable flip-flop nightmare known as summer when anything easily slides by the worker bees.</p>
<p>tis the season for (quiet mostly unnoticed) political & economic murder.</p>
<p>i recently heard some right-wing pundit (speaking about Obama) say "but i find it very hard to swallow that a President is re-elected who has a failed record in most areas of policy and is re-elected"</p>
<p>welcome to America 2004 the sequel mother fucker.</p>
<p>to which i'll add............</p>
<p><em>anyone</em> who supported either side in the last Presidential election is an absolute loser (as in the definition "one who loses" NOT that meaningless insult wrapped in hyberpole so many use today). it's dumbfounding that so many with so-called functioning brains could witness these men publicly skip over the truth about how the federal reserve really works, while spewing "solutions" literally crippled by the central bank and its practices, and keep listening like obedient walking dead shaking their heads <strong>yes</strong> as if anything remotely profound just happened. those are not "good" leaders OR "good" citizens. either pick up the pace or pick other words to describe them....OR expect this Ameri-con to continue.</p>
<p>[insert wondering why things are still so bad with that irony cherry on top]<br></p>
<p><br>don't agree ?? you're <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>GULLIBLE / NAIVE / DUMB / ALL OF THE ABOVE</strong></span>. it's only my problem because you are a problem. you are a societal nuisance enabling the worst we have to offer. figure it out.<br></p>
<p><br>in conclusion here's a quote (true or not it's still good copy):</p>
<p><em>As democracy is perfected, the office of the president represents, more and more closely the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.</em></p>
<p><strong>H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /><br></strong></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063863
2013-01-16T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T06:41:02-08:00
Arthur Silber quote on gun control in the U.S.
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/beddf27ff8888d63d099aef931b276903476d920/original/arthur-silber-quote-on-gun-control-in-the-u-s.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDEyeDI3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="275" width="412" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063862
2012-12-05T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T06:41:23-08:00
A Free Thinker Is Satan's Slave
<p><strong>Remember that...........</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/93fdd3017d78357f032b6515cad6fa805c02ecda/original/a-free-thinker-is-satans-slave.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="350" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063861
2012-11-15T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T08:37:35-08:00
Ameri-can't Ameri-won't
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/621d23430043119bcea4e39db0d5344ce6295bce/original/ameri-cant-ameri-wont.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDIyeDMzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="332" width="422" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span class="userContent">$1 in 1913 required $21.60 in 2007 to match it....a 96% devaluation meaning it WAS worth 4 cents. $15/hour meant you literally made 60 cents 5 years ago. now it's.....<br> </span></p>
<p><span class="userContent">inside this reality tent that 2007 American "millionaire" WAS worth 40</span> grand.</p>
<div class="text_exposed_show">where do you think it is after 4 years of Obama ?? or ANY President for that matter...pick your pony. </div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show">where do you think it will be after 4 more ??????</div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"> </div>
<div class="text_exposed_show">
sure you can still trade it with your fellow sleepwalkers & economic losers but the rest of the world is waving bye-bye to it and when (not if) they fully do so WE fully do so as well. <br><br> think about that green piece of paper. regardless of what number is stamped upon it you can't eat it can't grow food with it can't put it in your gas tank can't even make more than a 10 second fire with it to heat your pad. it's worthless. <br><br> it's the ultimate symbol of Ameri-can't Ameri-won't Ameri-talk all that broken record this-will-blow-over shit you want.....worthless. <br><br> that tired <strong>U-S-A</strong> chant will be equally worthless. <br><br> U.S. "money" is (literal) debt and debt is (funny) money. "every single dollar in your wallet or purse is owed by somebody to somebody". it's too bad most give up the bulk of their "awake" time for the pursuit of it. <br><br> THAT's a crime if i ever heard one. it's an economic form of societal murder and "they" STILL don't think our government is a bunch of criminals ??
</div>
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<div class="text_exposed_show"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0491e5b0823e731c788a4f1cf4d3e6d271dc71fe/original/ameri-cant-ameri-wont-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzA4eDI3OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="279" width="308" /></div>
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<div class="text_exposed_show">Andrew Jackson was the last President to cancel out all our debt by eliminating the central bank.</div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"> </div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show">That was 1835.<br>
</div>
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<br>too many people have their eyes on the wrong prize(s) and not fully understanding that is worth less than that "buck".</div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"> </div>
<div class="text_exposed_show"></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show">i've been <strong>COMPLETELY</strong> re-thinking my "business of life" motto for years now. you should too.<br>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063860
2012-11-08T16:00:00-08:00
2014-01-24T08:36:52-08:00
Sorry My Cheerleader Uniform Must Be at the Cleaners
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/c82eab61170c41ec738e17b03c54e19bc7c67c51/original/2012-election-no-confidence.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDQ2MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="461" width="500" /></p>
<p>"don't care, no vote, and no confidence" beat each candidate by almost 2 to 1. When the indoctrinated fools are done spinning their broken <strong><em>they did not vote because they're lazy</em></strong> records perhaps they can move on to a thesaurus and look up the word <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>MINORITY</strong></span> because that is <em>exactly</em> what they are. supporters of both candidates should join them as well if only for a bit of perspective. if you think silence is not a vote try that one with a friend who can not get his/her Ex to call him/her back and see how neatly that little bow ties it up. it's trite simpleton fodder. sorry i must have left my cheerleader uniform at the cleaners.</p>
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<p>"The Great Orator" (i'll give him that) Barack Obama mentioned something about "the majority of Americans have spoken...." in his speech the other day but the "majority" of Americans did not say a <span style="text-decoration:underline">fucking word</span>. a "majority" of Americans did not vote for him or any other candidate <strong><em>last time</em></strong> time either.</p>
<p><br>perhaps Tuesday night we should have witnessed a <strong>No Confidence</strong> victory rally with an empty podium fully equipped with a waving mechanical arm as <em><strong>We Are The Champions</strong></em> blasts over a crowd of idiots who won't stop cheering but that would have been <em>really</em> stupid right ???????</p>
<p>just something to think about.</p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063812
2012-10-31T17:00:00-07:00
2015-11-11T23:12:50-08:00
Don't Vote Imcumbent. Take Back America.
<p><span class="userContent"><strong>FAIL</strong>. emails like the one pictured below are so rampant now. if any of what i'm about to type is news to you you are <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>WAY</strong></span> behind. trust me.<br> <br> in plain English the bail-outs (which started with 700 Billion under George Bush and <strong>THEN</strong> continued with Obama), Freddie</span> Mac, Fannie Mae, any entitlement program you can name including social security, medicare, pensions, you name it as it is being used in 2012 we're not talking about 1972 anymore.....it's all a financial <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em><strong>coup de tat</strong></em></span> that was used (as in past tense) to <strong>STEAL</strong> every last available dollar out of this country, place it securely in any other pocket but your own, turn it into currency like gold that will actually continue to work and will not have an expiration date, and replace it with worthless printed green paper that an idiot thinks is still worth "something" because they can trade it with another loser to get stuff. fuck the "technical" terms that's it in plain English.</p>
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<br> Romney people with the "socialist" and "taking back" talk are absolute fools walking the <strong>EXACT</strong> line these people want(ed) them to. they can <strong>ALWAYS</strong> bank on the widespread ignorance of the American public who are <strong>SO </strong>clueless it is literally a bad comedy at this point....they're actually accomplices to the crime without even knowing it. and if you think that was a vote for Obama-land a.k.a. the <strong>SAME FUCKING THING</strong> sign up for your idiot badge as well. jesus fuck this uneducated minion is <strong>LOST</strong> at figurative sea like helpless pets after a hurricane.<br><br> it's getting difficult for me to rationalize anything but they <strong>DESERVE</strong> to be robbed. economists know that all financial "bubbles" will burst. they needed about 100 global bubbles to "fix" the last one. what is it going to take to "fix" <strong>THAT</strong> especially when these bubbles are barely lasting a year or two at this point ?? watch in 2016 regardless of who wins the election things will be worse because they <strong>CAN'T</strong> get better. this system has no way to make it all magically disappear. it's mathematically <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>IMPOSSIBLE</strong></span>. <br><br> you're not "political" ?? no problem. according to this system you already are. you live in a small town ?? no problem your paycheck is just as good as anyone's to steal from and they started doing it before you lived there. you're a parent and "just don't have the time" ?? beyond this is called being a responsible parent or son or daughter or friend or neighbor as well it's another no problem across the board. this system does not need your time or attention either. you "vote" ??? no problem. your vote has little if anything to do with any of this. you don't want to give this your "like" ?? no problem. it's not like the option was even offered here. you're not on <strong>FagBook</strong> anymore at this domain.<br><br> that is not pessimism. that is rational mature adult with a brain reality.
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063809
2012-09-09T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T08:40:33-08:00
9/11: 11 Years Later
<p><strong>you can fast forward through the commercial and fund-raising breaks....in fact when you reach the 1st break you can skip it & continue at 30:06.</strong> <strong>at 56:30 you can continue after the 2nd break.</strong><br> </p>
<p><object width="600" height="350" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" bgcolor="#000000"><param name="flashvars" value="width=600&height=350&video=http://video.cpt12.org/videoPlayerInfo/2270078138&player=viral&end=0">
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<p style="font-size: 11px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: #808080; margin-top: 5px; background: transparent; text-align: center; width: 600px;">Watch <a style="text-decoration: none !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: 13px; color: #4eb2fe !important;" href="http://video.cpt12.org/video/2270078138" target="_blank" data-imported="1">9/11: Explosive Evidence - Experts Speak Out</a> on PBS. See more from <a style="text-decoration: none !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: 13px; color: #4eb2fe !important;" href="http://video.cpt12.org" target="_blank" data-imported="1">KBDI.</a></p>
<p style="font-size: 11px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: #808080; margin-top: 5px; background: transparent; text-align: center; width: 600px;"> </p>
<p>this is not conjecture by "normal" everyday citizens. it is only structural engineers, architects, and others in related scientific fields...but it also covers the psychology with doctors who explain why it is so common for some to still deny something that is as obvious as the noses on their faces.</p>
<p>if you want to share something with your friends today honoring the anniversary i would share this especially since some people still think this was just some random horrible event. encourage people to take the time to give this proper respect. <strong>YES</strong> planes flew into those buildings but that has nothing to do with the explosives that would have taken weeks installed by experts to purposefully demolish those three buildings. don't forget WTC 7 which fell the same day and was also reported by the BBC <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>ON CAMERA</strong></span> while their news reporter was standing in front of the building <em>before</em> it had fallen because she did not know any better. where did that "news" come from ???</p>
<p>the owner of WTC 7 also stated <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>ON CAMERA</strong></span> "we had to pull it". you can't just do that the day of with some 40+ story high rise. i personally witnessed a crew working on a casino in Vegas that was less than 10 stories and they took 2 weeks to set up all the explosives before they blew it up live with us watching and for everyone watching on our local news. it was kind of like our version of 4th of July when they would do that there.</p>
<p>anyone who watches this video and does not know <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>FOR A FACT</strong></span> that they have been lied to about this needs to cease all rational thought because they obviously have zero respect for the process.</p>
<p> why keep chopping away at this mighty tree ??? if people know the truth about this and follow where the evidence so obviously leads it will help them accept the truth about our government, our federal reserve and their tax scam, and every other crafted lie out there.</p>
<p>and i'll go so far as to say that anyone who resists this truth after seeing this and many other testimonies now 11 years later is a terrorist as well because by definition that is EXACTLY what they are...a social terrorist playing "friend familiar" to the terror. that's not "name-calling" that's plain English my friends.</p>
<p>"well-meaning citizen" or not we can apply "the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions" ====> <strong>HERE</strong>. if you want to "honor" your country and people who died that day it is time for you/us/everyone to wake up the sleepwalkers who continue to reside around us.</p>
<p><strong>WE CAN NOT LET IT GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</strong><br></p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0763b69b8af9562776fdb08247efc00de5b6e9ea/original/u-s-flag.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MjUweDE3MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="172" width="250" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063808
2012-09-08T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T08:41:23-08:00
Americans & America are NOT synonymous in this case
<p><span class="userContent">the PEOPLE of America may in fact be generalized as "noble" but America is certainly not. American and America are NOT synonymous in this case and "Americans" need to stop taking it so personally whenever anyone expresses the obvious realities about "America". in other words it's time for all the whiny emotional cripples to.......</span></p>
<p><br><strong>GROW UP</strong></p>
<p>it's time to stop pledging allegiance to some inanimate symbol and start pledging allegiance to<strong> REALITY.<br></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/0763b69b8af9562776fdb08247efc00de5b6e9ea/original/u-s-flag.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MjUweDE3MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="172" width="250" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063857
2012-07-29T17:00:00-07:00
2015-02-03T12:00:38-08:00
AN OPEN LETTER to all those people bitching about welfare
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><strong>THIS IS ONLY FOR THOSE FEW WHO SEEM TO HAVE THIS PERMANENT BITCHING ABOUT WELFARE SKIP IN THEIR RECORD:</strong> think that placard below is spot on ?? <strong>WRONG.</strong> it's more like most are absolutely willing to line up for work every day of the week and have a monstrous chunk of "income tax" stolen from <strong>EVERY SINGLE</strong> check and have who knows how much of that sum total presented to the pockets of private bankers to pay back the "interest" on the loan from the Federal Reserve to print our money...money as a sovereign nation we can print on our own and forego the whole <strong>VIG</strong> in that mob scene from a badly produced movie....none of us including said "freeloaders" gets one thing from one penny of that entire total and <strong>THEN</strong> a group of you are actually going to whine about those "freeloaders" instead of <strong>THAT</strong>. or how about those million dollar tabs Michelle and the kids rack up to attend the fucking Kids' Choice Awards a.k.a. the <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>ULTIMATE WELFAR</strong>E</span> the well trained monkeys and blind cheerleaders quickly seem to sweep under the carpet while debating back and forth which crook is better equipped to grease the steal. </span></h6>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">it's just a bad <span class="text_exposed_show">comedy not to mention <strong>MORONIC</strong>. </span></span></h6>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show">does the bulk of the population question why if we all paid a 100% tax we'd still be fucked because of Washington's spending habits ??? nope. instead we settle for the dollar being printed into worthless paper just so long as they manipulate the interest rates properly to make it all seem what ?? so go ahead and show what ignorant fools you are. you're not fooling anyone who really matters and just because that's a <strong>VERY</strong> small percentage of people it changes nothing. there is no left or right with this one either. oh and if you owe even <strong>ONE CENT</strong> to a creditor <strong>FOR ANY REASON</strong> you should probably keep your mouth shut about this subject anyway until your own <strong>DEADBEAT</strong> freeloading is all cleared up. don't like that ?? <strong>BLOW ME</strong>. it's funny when you're not stuck in the quicksand most <strong>AMERICANS</strong> call their "lives" you can see things for what they really are and state the <strong>TRUTH</strong>...popular or not. besides what's a "like" worth from a bunch of losers who would whimper about any of that anyway ???</span></span></h6>
<p><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></span></p>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show">well i'll tell ya = <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN</strong><strong>G</strong></span>.</span></span></h6>
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<p><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show"><strong>besides the cream of the crap rising to the top is the inevitable result of any monetary based system. it just shows how lost we are as a people that everyone can not be taken care of.</strong></span></span></p>
<p><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show"><strong>so let's get this straight: our government robs us blind for nearly a century and we need to go after that lady with 5 kids by 3 different men right ?? that's a one-legged patriot if i ever heard one. sounds like one of those dumb cunts on Springer who goes after the other woman her man cheated with instead of the person who perpetuated the cheating in the 1st place.<br></strong></span></span></p>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show">oops did i just bring some substance to this social and mental ghetto and not lick the boots of the crumbs in the process ?? <strong>SO SORRY</strong>. my bad. where did my tact go ???</span></span></h6>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show">it must be on its <strong>LUNCH BREAK</strong> with the rest of the brain dead worker bees who think they're such geniuses when it comes to this subject.<br></span></span></h6>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1a61fd384d1fe2631349ae5429c5373a85f46359/original/bitching-about-welfare.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDgweDM4NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="384" width="480" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063853
2012-06-15T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T08:42:54-08:00
Vagina ?? go ahead and keep it. i've always preferred CUNT anyway
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3da036134590078a3267265a1c739895fc0a7360/original/vagina-keep-it-ive-always-preferred-cunt-anyway.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDgweDMyMyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="323" width="480" /></p>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><strong>*** originally posted to Facebook thus the references</strong></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">you want placards ??? i got fuckin' placards. the true irony is if the majority of Facebookers were not such gutless P.C. pussies who literally stand for little to nothing so they can lap up their "likes" and also because they don't want their family, friends, neighbors, and bosses to think they're "weird" so many of these things would not be happening in our government, in other governments, a<span class="text_exposed_show">nd in our world. that same behavior would not be translating that same way in our schools, our homes, our offices, our entertainment. fuck it's in our commercials now. it's EVERYWHERE. it's a social pandemic. <br> <br> this circle of insidiousness is going to have ramifications that are beyond the scope of most people's mental capabilities i guarantee it. if you are an absolute moron you most likely have no idea how much the way you play in this (mental toddler) sandbox is GOING to cost us for years and years and years to come. you have already cost us societal & generational fortunes already. oh and this where that typical Facebooker needs to be reminded that what's been done is done. it's not going to be corrected on June 16th 2012 by some "owning me" cracker commenters who just so happen to only be free to do so because it's Saturday and they're not stuck at some shitty job....commenters BTW that are not even invited to be on my friends list to boot.<br> <br> you have told them for YEARS now that you do not care because you BEHAVE like you do not care. they give you the bones. you wag your tails. and the ones handing out the bones are like a store that never knows there was a complaint until every costumer starts complaining and when that didn't work they started throwing bricks through the windows wrapped in paper that stated very simply: it's 3 choices LISTEN, GET OUT, OR YOU WILL BURN. perhaps you THINK you have complained but what have you done when they did not listen ?????<br> <br> it's also ironic that so many love to make their meaningless soapbox stands AFTER the fact because and ONLY because they think they're some swell fuckin' hero for doing so. Vagina placards on Facebook are not "complaining". they're just the same system that did not work before WAY WAY WAY more often than ever did. it's lazy. it's complacent. it's actually kind of obedient in a sick twisted way. it's like a rat gnawing on one of those metal bars. have you ever seen one break free ???? how far are we past the time when it would have already been completely appropriate to suggest IT'S TIME TO TRY A NEW APPROACH ???<br> <br> Bueller........<br> <br> Bueller...........</span></span></h6>
<p><span class="messageBody"><span class="text_exposed_show"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a3158adfbe60d4594da2fdb0d05341f643f1cb40/original/chicago-journals-40.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="775" width="600" /></span></span></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063852
2012-06-05T17:00:00-07:00
2012-06-20T14:38:30-07:00
whine is fine but frisky's quicker
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><strong><span class="messageBody">COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT NOTICE: </span></strong></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">Carella Ross has filed a grievance for your use of "whine is fine but frisky's quicker" and playing it off as your own material on FagBook, YouTube, and various other social networking sites. please cease and desist immediately. posted Wednesday June 6th 2012. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. oh and [gay ass smiley face] has been filed as well. the paperwork will be available shortly.</span></h6>
<p><span class="messageBody">(that's a lyrics from my song Threat No. 5 from Beyond the Reach of the Whip Vol. 2 so it's mine)<br></span></p>
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<p><span class="messageBody"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/fff4a6cb9550179cba8f42cb9d71bd0e95af984c/original/copyright-infringement-notice.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDA1eDMwNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="304" width="405" /><br></span></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063851
2012-06-03T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-24T08:39:48-08:00
Like is the new gimme gimme gimme
<p><strong>want attention ??</strong></p>
<p><br>women: try taking a little extra time in the morning when you're getting ready. how about skipping the tennis shoes, sportswear, and scrunchie for something a little more...ummm.....less....ummm...ugly. </p>
<p>women: try not <strong>AUTOMATICALLY</strong> looking like shit on Saturday</p>
<p>women: try putting on some makeup and a skirt and some heels instead of dressing like a man and then (ironically) wondering why you are treated like one.</p>
<p>women: try actually MAKING AN EFFORT by treating every day like it's your 1st date.<br></p>
<p>men: try losing the butterball that is constantly swallowing your belt</p>
<p>men: try actually having something to say about <em>anything</em> important rather than going with the flow like the gutless turds so many of you are.</p>
<p>men: try not looking like shit all the time <em>just like her</em>.</p>
<p>men: try actually MAKING AN EFFORT by treating every day like it's your 1st date.<br></p>
<p> </p>
<p>attention comes pretty cheap these days. it does not seem to take much. all you seem to need is a laptop, an internet connection, and an audience of hungry less thans desperately searching for validation for that and there you go.</p>
<p><strong>is this where i'm supposed to apologize for wanting more than that ????????</strong></p>
<p>oh and here is where we skip all that "what's on the inside" nonsense especially if you use it as some type of crutch for what is NOT on the outside. ever notice how people rarely bother to point out how "down to earth" most people who like shit are ??? it's almost assumed is it not (?) as if they are not just as capable of being as fake, plastic, and manipulative as the ones not caught in that dreadful self-imposed quicksand.</p>
<p>"comfortable" is most definitely the new lazy as well.</p>
<p>do the research.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1be155e7a6dc3bfe844c956f1a2e5a3cc41576e9/original/like-is-the-new-gimme-gimme-gimme.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDI4NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="286" width="500" /></strong></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
<p></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063847
2012-05-14T17:00:00-07:00
2012-05-15T02:52:42-07:00
No One Becomes The Fly For Hitting It With The Swatter
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3068534982fcafc1a2c9f03e23a45d40e4b10d84/original/no-one-becomes-the-fly-for-hitting-it-with-the-swatter.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDgweDM2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="360" width="480" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063832
2012-04-19T17:00:00-07:00
2014-06-16T00:45:02-07:00
70s Bush
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b3a7f69ef18ae1d0d6c0c2e80ea74cacd2da16c6/original/the-70s-was-a-blast.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDkzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="932" width="600" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1be0dd46525f83b2847f4605b160353913b9b75d/original/cherie-currie-the-runaways-centerfold-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDM2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="360" width="500" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063831
2012-03-15T17:00:00-07:00
2012-03-16T01:49:57-07:00
A star is shorn
<p>some see popular music as trivial. i do not. popular culture is one of the most direct and immediate reflections of the society we live in and we've reached a point where we have a generation whose bands are the ugliest jokes we've ever seen and heard to date....and the very FEW bands that are not as ugly like Black Veil Brides are still pathetically marginal bands. it's just not even close. Poison is actually a really great band next to these bands. that's the territory that we are treading here. it's more than frightening. this isn't i got older and i'm just doing this to the generation after me which fails miserably because they're not the generation after me anyway. my parents fucked better than they do. i'm different than most anyway so those easy rules do not apply to me. so-called hot little stripper chicks half my age still follow me around so i get an up-close-and-personal view and these retards are not even as cool as i was when i was 14 living with my mommie. i have to teach them things no one had to teach me because i did the research along the way and with no internet to boot. it was <strong><em>FUN</em></strong>. i <em>thought </em>that was the whole point. at that point i also knew that <em>vast</em> terrain between me and the people on the stage and what needed to be accomplished to erase that line. <br></p>
<p>since the advent of rock n roll one can easily cite each decade's contributions and we've reached the slimmest pickens imaginable known to this version of modern man. i mean the music industry can not even sustain a sellable product with this loser generation. they're such social roaches they've even invented the saying "why would i pay for music". that picture below is the answer why a.k.a YOU GET WHAT YOU DO NOT PAY FOR. and this is not just a convenient one-time example...it's literally every picture now. a star is a star not some average fucking nobody with a day job and a collection of likes on FagBook. i should be able to put the two pictures side by side and easily pick out which one is which and now that line is so blurred that we hear "hipster" every other hour and even though that concept/plight has <em>always</em> existed it has shot to the #1 position (with a bullet) in the lexicon charts because there are THAT many fakes when it comes to being a true academic.</p>
<p>with rare exception when it is applied in a unique way the only time irony should come up in this medium is when it is used to point out the obvious inadequacies of it and yet <em>they</em> use it like it's some sort of great original accomplishment when it of course is nothing more than a mask that can easily be removed by one sentence such as this.<br></p>
<p><strong>the only time guys like this are supposed to be on stage is when they're carrying the amps.</strong></p>
<p>in fact let me re-type that sentence so this moronic generation can understand it.<strong> </strong><strong>the only time guys like this are sposed to be on stage is when there carrying the amps.</strong> better ??<br></p>
<p>when i was many years younger than these guys i would not have fucked you <em>because</em> you actually stooped so low as to fuck any guys like them. it's (still) called standards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/4215fb29ac11e7a0432f2e814d83c4e7662b7921/original/the-computers.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDM3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="375" width="500" /><br></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063830
2012-03-06T16:00:00-08:00
2012-11-19T15:57:33-08:00
Hell With Windows
<p>it's been so odd growing up and then living in a so-called "manly" culture of men who primarily have zero access to the most beautiful women in the world, zero access to most of the money in the world, and zero access to any of the real fantasies anyone wants to fuck YET those men think they're anything but the true faggots of the world ??? it doesn't make any logical sense.....and it's certainly not wrong because no one ever says it out loud. that silence and/or getting butt-hurt from the truth is just more of that same faggotry.</p>
<p>certainly we can <em><strong>never </strong></em>forget all those Visa/Mastercard cocks in their mouths either.</p>
<p>the only bigger jerk in that circle (jerk) is them because they're the ones who decided to bend over, grab their ankles, spread their cheeks, and take it up the ass like proper little bitch slaves.</p>
<p>just because they go outside and jump in a car does not mean they're hitting any open road....especially if that destination has something to do with those god-awful worker bee matters.<br></p>
<p>that's just hell with windows.</p>
<p>and those poor <strong>POOR</strong> women stuck spreading <em>their</em> legs for them.</p>
<p>there's better paychecks than that dear(s) that do not require embarrassing yourselves like that....</p>
<p>or getting so filthy...........</p>
<p>don't live like a dog.</p>
<p><strong>BE THE PET.</strong></p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6ab543579e42cdd04eaa590d58455b57ca8e3c1d/original/candy-darling-naked.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDgwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="800" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063829
2012-02-27T16:00:00-08:00
2017-10-14T05:58:58-07:00
What sucks about social networks now
<p>i guess i could go back to before MySpace but i'll just start there because it's all the same dialogue anyway. also remember that i'm not promoting style over substance here or knocking intelligent insightful content but i can find that on the best of Craigslist if i want. i'm talking about the basic social network game here...the roots from where these current trees have grown if you will. i think the resulting branches are pretty evident.</p>
<p>i didn't really think about it until recently but i've been online for about 17-18 years. don't get me wrong i really love how fast my DSL is so i can enjoy YouTube, & Hulu, & all the other sites like that that were only viable once high-speed internet came into play BUT here's what they brought with them. i call them the cyber termites because they gnaw at the baseboards of everything cool and unique so that those concepts are rendered as useless as the wood termites leave behind.</p>
<p>in 2003 MySpace was a really cool new terrain. every single follower was not online so it was built upon independent thinkers, artists, musicians, and shit talkers before that concept was run into the ground by pretenders to the throne who soiled those concepts with their inarticulate banter & subpar musings. Those people did not have constant access with phones either. the only way to an interesting page on MySpace was through the art of HTML. i'm sure this goes for many but during that time period i actually learned more about computers & coding than any other. unless i wanted to continually have to ask/pay some geek squad to do everything for me i had to learn it all myself. it literally made me a more rounded individual by default because it forced me to educate myself ALL THE TIME in a completely new (to me) field of study thus the "rounded" part. it's the (initial) main reason why i can make this website happen with ease now.<br></p>
<p>Facebook eliminated that. not only was it where all the moms & dads & dorks who could not handle true cyber competition ran to the hills & could pretend anyone gives a fuck about their pathetically marginal (and anonymous everywhere but Facebook) lives but it also brought everything down to a retard level so said RETARDS could participate. it polluted the gene pool & pissed in the Cheerios. a monkey can navigate setting up a Facebook page. it deliberately leveled the playing field so "they" would not have to make so many extra efforts to play along or more like keep pace. if you really analyze it Facebook's "features" are ALL set up to appease the uneducated, uncreative, unpopular user 1st. then it's up to the ones not stuck in that quicksand to polish their skeletal turd and make something shine out of it.</p>
<p>Since that is so true i always found it so ironic how the less remarkable portion of that public sold Facebook to themselves & those around them. remember the campaign that flooded the public airwaves back when ???? the quick simplified version went something like this: MySpace is for "kids" or they loved to use "immature" as well and Facebook was for "adults". they actually had the audacity to suggest that adults playing "like" button footsies along with a cyber version of hide & seek is somehow HIGHer brow. even if i stated that that was true which one do you think should be listed 1st in the book o' fun ?? and which is the embarrassing runner-up dancing badly and looking like a dated fool ???</p>
<p>what they should have said is MySpace is for those million hot chicks and guys with their stunning pictures and massive friends lists and Facebook is for the people that did not have a hope in hell of ever competing with that. THAT was the real problem. don't think so ?? look at the two figureheads. they sum it up SO well. here's their pictures side-by-side. both personify their respective sites and are pretty spot on right ???? sure Tom looked a bit more "normal" than i would have wanted him to for this point but he is/was still a decent looking guy. he's that guy that the Zuckerberg girl would be in love with but never actually date. and Mark well we ALL know what a troll Mark is. that's who the Zuckerberg girl actually lives life with so it's no wonder she also needed to tie a Facebook noose around her man's window-shopping on MySpace as well. Facebook the ultimate social/cyber threat eliminator.<br></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1b494b3a1ab6b10a62df794ee35a2b1abb806307/original/mark-zuckerberg-time-magazine-cover.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="300" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6cd16273bc0f98bb12d5db293814ac73564ed37a/original/myspace-tom.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="300" /></p>
<p>what's Mark's motive throughout that whole Social Network movie ??? chi-ching. except the Winklevoss twins are not the REAL ones on the other side. this isn't about his face but more about what that face is the face of....that no-longer-new dawn that will now never fade. sometimes the most obvious things are pointed out the least because i guarantee you've never read that anywhere else even though it's clearer than any day you've ever witnessed...besides the fact that any FACT that fucks with too large of a group will ALWAYS be squashed. that 99% shit worked for other things before Occupy. i don't expect for most people outside of the small percentage i cherish, appreciate, applaud, & place upon a DESERVED pedestal to LIKE that (not that i offered the button).<br></p>
<p>of COURSE Mr. Zuckerberg won that battle. he had selling the coddling & nurturing of cyber inadequacy on his side. as is said (& probably true more often than not) the numbers do not lie.</p>
<p>my phrase <span style="font-weight:bold; text-decoration:underline">ONLY THE WRONG ONES BREED LIKE RABBITS</span> definitely applies here.</p>
<p>here's the part that really REALLY sucks though:</p>
<p>we'll NEVER get that golden age back because all the people that flooded the party over the last 5-6 years or so are here to stay FOR GOOD so it does not matter what new site pops up. now they will be there to ruin the party just like they do with everything else. all those idiots will be texting back & forth and within hours/days that proverbial lawn will be mowed down to the dirt before it ever gets a chance to truly grow. there will be no more NATURAL cyber segregation unless...........<br></p>
<p>i think the internet's greatest weakness at this point is the FREE price tag. i don't know about anyone else but i'd be more than willing to pay for an invite-only soiree because it would never eliminate all of <em>them</em> but it would most certainly get rid of a good chunk. call it iEugenics.</p>
<p>it's time for internets within the internet.</p>
<p><strong>The Great Firewall of Fuck You Go Away.</strong><br></p>
<p>just think about it. a wonderland where the owner does not suck every advertising cock under the sun and sell you out to boot because some loser majority who should not even be around might drop their collective pennies in a till and have it add up to WAY more than it should.<br></p>
<p>bombs...sorry food ======> for thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>UPDATE Halloween 2012: i did not think of this when i originally wrote this but here's how we can easily separate any one of you into two groups with ease. did you read "style over substance" as STYLE over substance or BEAUTY over substance ??? because it's not like style can not be ugly AND without substance. many people conveniently forget that now. Hmmmm.....wonder why ????? what a MYSTERY. English so often fails for communication now because so many deliberately misuse it on a regular basis. it can be very frustrating needing to complete so many preemptive ass-wipings these days while trying to get across what once was a very clear and direct point.<br></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1bb921eff49ea3a606174aec6b867508897b710e/original/fuck-you.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDAweDQwNSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="405" width="400" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063828
2012-02-25T16:00:00-08:00
2014-11-28T17:05:00-08:00
When did this become hotter than this ??
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/aa3fd0196d1e996aab5face2dca1c8f0ee78485c/original/when-did-this-become-hotter-than-this.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDQ2NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="467" width="500" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>today i saw this on <strong>FagBook</strong> for the 10th time or so. obviously the latest people who posted it were on my friends list but i want to assure you that this is directed at none of them but at the public at <strong>LARGE</strong> (key word). i would just like to cover a few things about the attempted point. i get it. it's obvious. it's actually pretty lame BECAUSE it's so obvious. i'd also like for someone to read something besides the same shit everyone posts under this picture. <strong>THE GUYS</strong>: "it never did" which is true but....<strong>THE WOMEN</strong> "insert something about them having curves too".</p>
<p>besides if it's OK to rip on the chicks in the top row the rest of the inference here should be fair game right ?? c'mon don't be a little pussy <strong>NOW</strong>. you've traveled outside the <strong>Fagbook</strong> border here so that desperately try to say the right thing to get the "like" rule-of-law does not apply.<br></p>
<p><br>1) comparing the top row to the bottom is an apples to oranges scenario at best. you've got a reality idiot and others compared to some top-of-the-bill icons. it's too easy. this is where these placards fail so miserably even when they're supposed to coddle and nurture.</p>
<p><br>2) sure marilyn and the rest had "curves" but let's not blow that out of proportion for some self-serving convenient point. all anyone needs to do is go to the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd and see how absolutely <strong>TINY</strong> her hand (& shoe) prints are. if she's supposed to be some benchmark for the super-sized "modern" woman who outweighs her by 30-40 lbs (or more) she is the wrong one for that job.</p>
<p><br>3) stop comparing dress sizes from <strong>50+ years ago</strong> to the ones of today. if you think a size 12 from 1958 is the same one you're going to find at Target you are most definitely searching for a ghost. i'm literally the same exact size and in my adult lifetime i have gone from wearing a large shirt to barely fitting a small in men's sizes which is one of the further-down-the-list-because-they-look-like-shit reasons why i do not wear or shop for men's clothing anymore. <br></p>
<p><br>4) the word "curves" does not mean fat and as the guys stated above <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>IT NEVER DID</strong></span>. so stop taking a 120 lbs woman who wore a size 7 shoe and comparing it to some sloppy make-up less sweatpants & scrunchie-laden pig grimace woman of today who has big ugly guy feet & has not donned a pair of sexy heels and a skirt since probably never and has to lie about her weight to even report it at 150.</p>
<p><br>5) do you think there were no <strong>skinny bitches</strong> in the past ??? there was actually <strong>WAY</strong> more of them and they didn't have a bunch of fat chicks calling them anorexic and posing in a frumpy bulls-in-a-china-shop herd on a Dove billboard and calling it a <em><strong>campaign for "real" beauty</strong></em>. was there something unreal about the original beauty ??? i'm confused which of course is just smartass semantics for those people are <strong>FULL OF SHIT</strong> (and they know it). but if any of those lies work on you i've got some shit to sell you as well.</p>
<p><br>6) inadequacy is a mindset. it is <strong>NOT</strong> society or its "messages" that are the problem. in fact it's probably your fat ass or that butterball under your shirt that need(s) the bitch slap.<br></p>
<p><br><strong>yep</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063827
2012-02-01T16:00:00-08:00
2012-02-02T05:04:14-08:00
CBGB's & the Fire Sale
<p><strong>bring back CBGB's ??????</strong></p>
<p>yeah right. that's just what the world needs now...more fat ballerinas to piss in the lemonade.</p>
<p>this would be like anything else. if the bulk of the participants are actually living it walking the walk for real minus the typical trappings of the weekend warriors it could be great but there's always the BUT and the biggest thing that will shit upon it is social media that has taken every single thing that's good that's one of those cherished secrets and dropped it down a hole with a sign above it that reads <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>HERE LIES THE NAME-DROPPING</strong></span> "i was there see me in my cell phone pic" social termites who gnawed their way through the baseboards and left nothing but a bunch of fucked up useless wood that may not be able to serve any purpose but fuel a fire (sale).</p>
<p><br>the bulk of the world needs a master's course on the concept of commitment for something like CBGB's to ever work again. what so many people DO NOT UNDERSTAND now is that you do not get it both ways. you do not get to change yourself for church for what the safe deem "appropriate" by day & then get to magically appear different by night. there is no Clark Kent. he does not exist & if he does it's only because he's a pussy.</p>
<p><br>can you imagine ANYTHING more retarded than Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, & Tommy with a FagBook street team page playing "like" button footsies with a bunch of try-hard idiots tellin' all their friends they "know" them instead of living like proper RESPECTABLE degenerates ???? can you <em>smell</em> the crowd of walking living breathing fakes that will pollute that show ??? i'm sure it was hard enough in the 70's when the cell phone losers were but a not-yet memory. it almost makes me want to delete my account if not for the social (as in VERBAL Mr. C.I.A.) humanitarian terrorism aspect.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f8617b3e5bccf86110345c6dd38db405ef502442/original/cbgb.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="452" width="600" /><br></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063826
2012-01-31T16:00:00-08:00
2012-02-01T05:26:41-08:00
Something else that's born to die
<p><span class="messageBody"> </span></p>
<div class="text_exposed text_exposed_root" id="id_4f2996dcd401c4d88127793">let's not kid ourselves....more than ever in music people only want to support what they see in the mirror. it's still a fairly new phenomenon even though it picked up full steam in the years following Kurt Cobain's demise. his "sexy is bad" politic was the PURR-fect excuse for the scrunchie to have a heyday. but the internet has come along to flash the KMart blue light special upon it just in case anyone did not notice. the thing that stamps home the truth of that more than anything else is that you NEVER hear about it. it could not be more obvious yet no one dares to mention it because the bulk of paying customers are drowning in that quicksand & bringing it up will wrap their panties in a bunch quicker than a YouTube video of someone kicking baby seals. NO ONE writes about it while waistlines conveniently keep expanding & the "like" button was created to make the worthless nobody feel special for something they usually deserve no praise for a.k.a. NOT A COINCIDENCE a.k.a. AGENDA IN PLAY....and if the music "journalists" are going to deliberately sidestep the negative effect that's having on music then i'll run with the baton. so......i have not seen the average milieu freak out (as in want to quickly reduce like a little girl having a tantrum while plugging her ears & squealing "mary had a little lamb" to drown out reality) with I AM THREATENED stamped on their foreheads like they're doing with Lana Del Rey since <em>Like A Virgin</em>-era Madonna. it's been a LONG time. it's great. FINALLY the embodiment of an actual star not a person deliberately chosen because underneath the artifice they KNOW that person is JUST like them. they can't do that with this chick. this is that much-needed moment where the audience that matters (a.k.a. the ones that spit on rather than praise the fat ballerinas because segregation is the purest form of holy in this form) will have just a short golden flash that does not happen very often before it is ruined by the termites gnawing their way through the baseboards.</div>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063825
2012-01-17T16:00:00-08:00
2013-11-20T05:29:59-08:00
S.O.P.A. as it relates to the Music Industry
<p>Go back 40 years & do the research. 1972 = Led Zeppelin IV. name one track this year that is going to surpass Stairway To Heaven. The Stones release Exile on Main St. Bowie with Ziggy Stardust.. Alice Cooper School’s Out which could be in an Old Navy commercial tomorrow & EVERY MOTHER FUCKER ON THE PLANET would say "hey i know that song !!". those same people could do the same with Mott The Hoople’s All The Young Dudes. yep same year. Pink Floyd is recording Dark Side of the Moon. you’ve got seminal albums by Black Sabbath, Lou Reed, T Rex, Roxy Music, John Lennon, Elton John, Slade, The Kinks, Neil Young, Rod Stewart, Deep Purple (yeah the one with Smoke On The Water), & on & on & on & on. you want black music ?? cool: Al Green releases Let’s Stay Together. name one "soul" or R&B track of 2011 that is going to outlive that. you have seminal albums from Stevie Wonder, Curtis Mayfield’s Superfly. how about War’s The World Is A Ghetto ?? or how about Parliament-Funkadelic’s politically charged double album America Eats Its Young ?? that one carries special weight for today. i didn’t even cover what the crackers were throwing their $$ at: platinum (or multi-platinum) albums from Neil Diamond, Paul Simon, John Denver, The Eagles, & America.</p>
<p>the 1st GIGANTIC solo female singer/songwriter star Carole King had just conquered 1971 with her album Tapestry & her next album Music would kick 1972 off at #1 landing there on New Year’s Day & would vacation at that spot for most of January.</p>
<p>that’s all in one year = 365 days and represents about 5% (or less) of the major releases from that year.</p>
<p>every record, tape, & later CD being walked out of every single store on the entire planet was just another piece of piracy waiting to set sail.</p>
<p>as far as music goes….that industry is in the toilet because it’s doing a shitty job & its artists for the most part completely suck because they do not have any true concept of A&R or development anymore….and more relevant than that is the fact that the consumers they ripped off for years figured that out about them a long LONG time ago.</p>
<p>oh & don’t forget the Telecommunications Act of 1996 that completely dismantled radio as we knew it so we could go from all corporations combined owning 63 stations in the entire U.S. to one company Clear Channel owning 1200+ & dominating 99.9% of the 250 major markets in the entire U.S. so we either get to hear Pearl Jam's Jeremy for the rest of our fucking lives or go to YouTube for an ALTERNATIVE (great word).</p>
<p>simply put the U.S. government can BLOW ME with any of its thinly veiled bullshit about piracy. spare me. any one at any time could have copied any one of the albums above and did….MILLIONS more times than ever purchasing them and no one GAVE A FUCK. why now ???</p>
<p><strong>figure it out.</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /><br></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b3484234394e7f6b564128665e966cf2c0fa9164/original/fuck-sopa.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063823
2011-12-27T16:00:00-08:00
2011-12-28T10:48:29-08:00
Jeff Spicoli says NOT EVEN CLOSE BUD
<p>(not going for a complete list here by any means of course but...) If you think L.A. bands are all plastic what about Tool ??? Rage Against The Machine ?? Queens of the Stone Age ?? in the 80's it was nothing but cock rock right ??? Slayer. Megadeth. Chili Peppers. Jane's Addiction. along with Guns N Roses Metallica was from there before they left. those are the 2 biggest bands on the planet since Zeppelin (whose 2nd home just happened to be...YEP) & don't forget those other plastic bands like The Beach Boys, The Doors, The Byrds, Buffalo Springfield, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Zappa, The Runaways, X, Black Flag & the whole hardcore scene, Captain Beefheart, Sparks, a little band called Van Halen, Michael Jackson sold a few records too (OK maybe he WAS a little plastic) & on & on the list goes. there's actually a LOT of longevity in there as well. WAY too much chatter about "hollywood" or "L.A." whatever the fuck that means (still) from any other "scenes" besides NYC & London who have their own jocks to carry. Detroit gets an honorary mention & Seattle too because there's some great history there from before we entered Nirvanaland. the rest ?? don't kid yourselves. as Spicoli said NOT EVEN CLOSE BUD.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/db6d69d7f2e472ec493369b41854507da413a6ff/original/fuck-l-a.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ1NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="454" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063811
2011-12-18T16:00:00-08:00
2012-02-23T07:39:08-08:00
I Need That Record
<p>in 1996 Clinton signed the Telecommunication Act which completely eliminated the rules of how many channels or stations one entity could own. before 1996 large corporations controlled less than 65 radio stations....& now we have one company like Clear Channel who owns about 1200 of them which in more real world terms translates to 99.9% of the top 250 markets in the U.S. it's no wonder everything completely sucks now. now we get our "rock n roll" (only) from marginal American men in suits who have to buy their pussy & don't forget how much ugly loser guys like that just LOVE to have the Bowies of the world around. Thanks Bill ya fuckin' splotchy red bulbous-nosed douche.</p>
<p>now when you walk down the street you'll hear someone say "MTV sucks now" before you'll hear one word about what you read above. noone ever says that MTV really had no choice. they went from a commercial in the mid 80's that boasted "we play a wider variety of videos & more of them in a row than ever before...doodle doodle dee....wubba wubba wubbba" to having little to work with a little over a decade later because the corporations who came in & took over basically fucked their mission straight up the ass without vasoline. yeah maybe they DO suck but don't blame them. in other words if someone stabs you you don't get pissed at the nurse who stings the wound with the medicine you go after the fucker with the knife.</p>
<p>LOWRY MAYS Clear Channel CEO (1999) quote: "if anyone said we were in the radio business it wouldn't be someone from our company. we're not in the business of providing news & information. we're not in the business of providing well-researched music. we're simply in the business of selling our customer's products."</p>
<p>and this my friends is why you turn on any Clear Channel radio station & hear the same songs about 75% of the time.</p>
<p>now an early 80's D.I.Y. guy like Ian MacKaye looks like a prophet. His independent label Dischord Records has moved over 700,000 copies of Minor Threat alone. He never used radio & beyond that he has a loyal fanbase who does not buy into any of the corporate bullshit so it doesn't matter how the landscape changed. It never existed to him. Its movements are not much different than clouds passing by in the sky. It is of little to no consequence to a guy like MacKaye. Not to mention he has new people converted to his church every time another year goes by not to mention as things get worse & worse he looks more & more like SAINT. Plus in "business" speak he never had to change his prices ONCE because "inflation" can't touch a bubble like that.</p>
<p>we can sum this all up by just going through the most telling music & recording industry figures that were happening at the <em>same</em> time "mp3" overtook "sex" as the most widely searched term, sites like Napster are in full swing, & the R.I.A.A. starts suing thousands of people for file sharing. they hung themselves & cost a lot of people a lot of hopes, dreams, money, & the most important one of all: <strong>FUN </strong>& its long-lost companion <strong>COMMUNITY</strong>.</p>
<p>~ 2001 is the 1st year since 1966 that at least one major label release does not sell 5 million copies.</p>
<p>~ from 1999-2001 they released 25% less new music so people naturally started trolling the internet for music from the past.</p>
<p>~ at the same time CD prices rose another 10% reaching an all-time high.</p>
<p>~ they reduced the manufacturing of CD singles for those people who didn't want to buy their full (shitty) albums by 75%</p>
<p>~ AND they continued to treat the fans, the people who kept them in business, like garbage & assassinated thousands of those great little independent record stores we used to love like a favorite aunt or long lost friend.</p>
<p>all this while their livelihood is literally under attack & people can access millions of tracks online at any given time.</p>
<p>know what this all adds up to ???</p>
<p><strong>MORONS</strong></p>
<p><strong>Occupy THAT bitches.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/67eb9ee2163d869b97450ae1e49614d73e599d00/original/i-need-that-record.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDQzeDY0NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="645" width="443" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063810
2011-12-17T16:00:00-08:00
2017-01-30T09:01:24-08:00
I went to school with Todd Beamer
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">actually i didn't but i just Googled that & absolutely nothing came up.</span></h6>
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<span class="messageBody">i</span> was thinking about this while asking myself that oft-repeated question these days: <strong>WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM DETECTING THOSE OBVIOUS CLUES RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES</strong> ???
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Google Todd Beamer's images. it's the <strong>SAME</strong> 4-5 photos over & over. not <strong style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: small;">ONE</strong> person ever posted a blog on some site with his yearbook photo saying "i went to school with Todd Beamer" & yeah i'm not surprised he was a hero because he was a great guy etc etc ? after 10 annual memorials not one Blogger or Word Press or MySpace post ?? not one out of how many hundreds of millions of Facebookers who share everything short of the videos of their colon cleansings ?? not <strong>ONE</strong> ??????
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">google that phrase <strong>"i went to school with Todd Beamer"</strong>. </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><br><br>this will be the 1st public post to do so.</span></h6>
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<span class="messageBody">i</span>'m not claiming to know the real answer to any of this but i AM saying:
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"> "Let's roll" to ===> [FLAG]</span></h6>
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<span class="messageBody">i checked out of the "real" world a long LONG time ago so much so that you can find literal zeros across my social security statement on more than a few years listed. but i'm still a U.S. citizen, have a life, a story, & a website so my photos are going to come up sooner or later whether i like it or not. if someone googles my images they might not know the EVIDENCE that comes up but it's still there. </span><br><br>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">Google Carella Ross images. </span></h6>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">there's paintings. there's CD covers...one painted by a friend from Napa another photographed by a friend from Chicago. there's pictures of me at Studio 11 in Chicago & a couple other studios.....in a million dollar house in Hollywood......in various apartments in both of those cities (at separate times/years).......the photo from Strap-On Sweetie press releases.....a photo from when i worked the door at Toi on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood....at Warner Brothers with Matt Perry on the TV show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, at the infamous Ebb Tide motel in Ocean Beach San Diego, journal entries with my handwriting that can be easily matched, my old Strap-On Sweetie partner Alex comes up....Fred from the liner notes of the Ruthie Roadwhore promo EP is in there from a party i did not even attend......there's pictures of me in Denver....San Francisco....Miami......Las Vegas....New York.....in my mother's back yard of a home she does not even own anymore etc etc etc....in other words there's a SETTING & TIMELINE that can be corroborated by a long list of people (with the same).</span></h6>
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<p><strong><span class="messageBody">NOTE: this was written years ago so i'm sure some of those photos have disappeared from initial searches (and i'm sure some of the sites that hosted them are gone as well)</span></strong></p>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody">if i was an actual real-life participant in the 9/11 story & President Bush publicly praised me over & over & over & everyone "let's roll"ed on my behalf & my girlfriend at the time went on a 200-date book tour & told you about our dogs (i don't have kids like the Beamer's story claims) & my mom preached to the choir at assembly after assembly & my brother too & my teachers & my guitar students at Naperville Music (along with the 2 original owners of that store who can vouch for me) & my old music manager & other bosses & the pastors i would debate with at church in junior high and and and and......my "google" would be OFF THE FUCKING CHART. sure "Todd Beamer" is/was supposed to be a regular guy a.k.a. WAY more boring than that but........ </span></h6>
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<p><strong>and </strong><strong>there's more: he was only a few years older than i am. initially "his" story entered my radar closer to home than the general public's because of where he was supposedly from. the official story states that Todd Beamer went to Wheaton Academy AND Wheaton College. </strong><strong>coincidentally my mother's office was in downtown Wheaton (IL) for over a decade</strong>. <strong>i had a long-term girlfriend from Wheaton. i knew that SMALL SUBURBAN community well.....still do. in fact how much they were always up each other's asses always irritated me. regardless i've been asking them for over a decade if any of them know who the hell Todd Beamer is. i'll let you know when i run into even ONE of them who does. John Belushi was from Wheaton. they all know who he is. what's the problem here ??? oh right..right...Todd Beamer is/was not "famous" or is he ?? i guess something as simple as "i did not know him personally but yes i remember that guy" is just too much of a stretch.</strong></p>
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<p><strong>a</strong><strong>re you getting my drift yet ?????????? because i still left a HUNDRED things out. or maybe we should just be good lil patriots (or is it nationalized idiots ??) and put blind faith in a story like this with so many obvious and telling GAPS.</strong></p>
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<p><strong>i guess i/we should just accept that "Todd Beamer" is some great BIG hero we just will not be able to google it. he just doesn't have any worthwhile public cyber proof of it i guess. </strong></p>
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<p><strong>while never forgetting ===> "Todd Beamer High School" ain't Todd Beamer folks.</strong></p>
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><strong>Added by Moderator: This article is credited to Oxford82 at CBS 21.</strong></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage"><span class="messageBody"><br><a href="http://community.whptv.com/forums/post/2782314.aspx" target="_blank" data-imported="1">http://community.whptv.com/forums/post/2782314.aspx</a> (this link does not exist anymore...hmmm...wonder why ???? anyway everything copied and pasted below was from there the day i initially posted this in Dec. 2011)<br><br>According to the official story of the 9/11/2001 terrorist attacks, Todd Beamer and Mark Bingham fought terrorists on United Airlines Flight 93 and forced that plane to crash in Pennsylvania.<br><br>However, I have discovered that United 93 is not the only connection between Beamer and Bingham.<br><br>-<br><br>First of all, Beamer and Bingham went to high school together. Specifically, they attended Los Gatos High School in Los Gatos, a town in northern California.<br><br>Mark Bingham attended Los Gatos High School for 4 years, from 1984 to 1988.<br><br>Todd Beamer attended Los Gatos High School during the 1986-1987 school year, which was his senior year.<br><br>So, for 1 year, Beamer and Bingham went to high school together.<br><br>-<br><br>Todd Beamer and Mark Bingham are also connected via the business world.<br>Specifically, they are both connected to a man named Eric Benhamou.<br><br>Mark Bingham graduated from college in 1993, and his own company opened for business in 1999. For some period of time between the 1993 graduation and the 1999 opening, Bingham worked for 3Com Corporation. </span></h6>
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<br>The CEO of 3Com from September 1990 to December 31, 2000, was Eric Benhamou.
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<br>Thus, Benhamou was the CEO during Mark Bingham's employment at 3Com.<br><br>Now, did Benhamou and Bingham know each other personally? Well, if you look at the news database Factiva (available at public libraries), you will find two 3Com press releases, one from September 2, 1999, and the other from October 11, 1999. These press releases appeared in the publication known as Business Wire. If you look at the bottom of each press release, you will see Mark Bingham's name and phone number listed in the "contact" section. So, Bingham was a press secretary for 3Com, just as Tony Snow was the press secretary of the White House. So, just as we are sure that Tony Snow personally knew the people in charge of the White House (Bush, Cheney, etc.), we can be sure that Bingham personally knew Benhamou. <br><br>In addition to working for 3Com, Mr. Benhamou was a member of the Board of Directors of the company known as Legato Systems. <br><br>Benhamou was appointed to Legato's Board of Directors in 1993.
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<br>Benhamou was on Legato's Board as late as September 2001.
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<br>David Beamer, Todd Beamer's father, was appointed Legato Systems's executive vice president of worldwide sales in January 2001.
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<br>David Beamer was appointed chief operating officer (COO) of Legato Systems in February 2002.
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<br>Thus, David Beamer and Eric Benhamou worked at Legato at the same time for at least 9 months (from January 2001 to September 2001).<br><br>Furthermore, during those 9 months, Benhamou had the high rank of member of the Board of Directors, and David Beamer had the high rank of executive vice president of worldwide sales. Thus, it is very probable that Eric Benhamou and David Beamer knew each other personally.<br><br>So, Eric Benhamou worked with Mark Bingham and with David Beamer, Todd's father.<br><br>-<br><br>Also, Mr. Benhamou has many ties to Israel.<br>-<br><br>There is another passenger from United Airlines Flight 93 that should be noted, and that is Nicole Miller. At the time of 9/11, Nicole was a student at West Valley College in northern California. Alice Hoglan, Mark Bingham's mother, was also a student at West Valley College at the time of 9/11.<br><br>-<br>So, Todd Beamer has ties to Mark Bingham, and Mark Bingham has ties to Nicole Miller.<br><br><br>WHY WAS NONE OF THIS MENTIONED ?? YA KNOW....2 OLD BUDDIES MAKE GOOD...BATMAN & ROBIN.....THE DYNAMIC DUO...THAT KINDA SHIT......yet only Todd's name was singled out by the press and "official story".<br><br>
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<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063807
2011-12-09T16:00:00-08:00
2011-12-09T23:56:43-08:00
Diamond Dave is not the only one singing Panama
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</p><p>if you think the U.S. government has any compassion or places any value on human life just look at the many atrocities it perpetuated against innocent Panamanian civilians in 1989. i know i know none of this is supposed to "count" anymore because after all it was <span style="text-decoration:underline">TWENTY WHOLE YEARS AGO</span>. i know it's a proverbial millenium of light years away. fuck did they even have indoor plumbing back then ???</p>
<p>since we reside with so many worthless sleepwalking drones next door, in our government, in the media, even in our own homes most probably could not even tell you any story at any great length about what President (Daddy) Bush perpetuated in Panama....against Noriega a man who was on his C.I.A. payroll for years ($100,000 of OUR tax dollars each year). Daddy Bush never had any problem looking the other way regarding his drug business as long as he was helping him trade the Sandanistas guns for drugs (that they brought back to the states & sold for profit right through Clinton's state & beyond by the way). Bush didn't have a problem with Noriega until he as well as EVERY other central American leader throughout the region stopped "playing ball", met, & decided enough was enough with American interference in their region. Also they were not going to allow America to renege on the treaty PRESIDENT CARTER signed to give them back the Panamanian canal region at noon on December 31st 1999.</p>
<p>so what did Daddy Bush & our Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney order ??? they sent 20,000 troops down to a tiny country to destroy & loot the place. they even used experimental weapons like lazers & other over-the-top methods in terms of absolute unneeded brute force. you look at pictures of some of the victims & they were literally melted like butter.</p>
<p>At the time the U.S. government (& the media who sucked their cocks) tried to claim that there were <em>only</em> 250 Panamanian civilians killed when the United Nations (with the lowest reported number) estimated that it was at least 2500......not forgetting that ONE is too many. more realistic estimates based on missing persons reports by people who actually lived there were 4000+. in other words at least as many or MORE THAN 9/11. the scary part is those are "small" time figures for America when we add Korea, Viet Nam, & Iraq to the mix. Let's never forget all the Indians & African Americans who lost their lives right here in the "land of the free" either.</p>
<p>the Association of the Dead in Panama identified at least 15 mass graves....people who were hastily rounded up & piled into ditches by U.S. military before camera crews could document what was going on. Later after the insurgence and after the U.S. had raped their homeland TO GET ONE "BAD" GUY Panamanian citizens had to dig up these bodies themselves. In those graves they found numerous children & teenagers, pregnant women, & senior citizens 60 years of age & older. within the bodies were found people in casts, people with their hands handcuffed behind their backs, as well as multiple victims who died as a result of gunshots to the back of their heads.</p>
<p>if you think it was just one isolated incident you're a fool or a liar with an agenda. the graves were found throughout the ENTIRE country spread out in every region possible. in fact they could not investigate any of the other suspected mass graves because they were on land occupied by our military bases.</p>
<p>Multiple witnesses told stories of OUR military driving tanks over the dead bodies in the streets.</p>
<p>NO RESPECT but we should give some inbred cousin fucker named Joe-Bob from Texas "respect" because he has a gun & a G.I. Joe outfit he never grew out of ?? what would you want to do to a Panamanian soldier if he came here to "get" Bush & along the way murdered your relative ?? how about if it was someone that didn't even vote for or support Bush ??? how much more could one spit on a grave ??????</p>
<p>the Panamanian survivors of the "minimal collateral damage" (a.k.a. 20,000 people who lost their homes to bombs & fires deliberately set by our troops) were rounded up & placed in huge hangers where they were "provided" a 10 X 10 cubicle consisting of 4 boards & some cots for families of 4-5 or more. a bulk of the people "resided" there for more than a year. even the poorest of those people went from 2-3 meals a day to 1 if they were lucky besides that quickly forgotten thing called WHERE DO THEY COOK IT & HOW ??? what about water ?? what about going to the bathroom ?? changing a baby's diaper ?? also go take a poll of the health issues of all of your neighbors. just start on your street & the couple around you & figure out how they will be taken care of in a setting like that. does anyone need insulin ?? a humidifier ?? allergies ???</p>
<p>sounds JUST LIKE KATRINA DOESN'T IT ???</p>
<p>i guess it's <strong><em>like father like son</em></strong> for those cocksucking bastards.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/b23d6526292938b676c014c1d6835e8aeff05bd8/original/panama.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDQzeDQ1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="450" width="443" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063806
2011-12-07T16:00:00-08:00
2011-12-08T18:23:23-08:00
The Art of the Bluff
<p>this video reinforces <span style="text-decoration:underline">FOUR</span> concepts:</p>
<p><strong>1)</strong> know your enemy</p>
<p><strong>2)</strong> more times than not the modern police officer is a bumbling out-of-shape fool who in typical American fashion chooses to <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">not</span></strong> know his job inside & out (in this case the law) & stand around & do nothing as much as possible & still get paid. this video is no different than if we were watching a video of a doctor who does not know the true function of every section of the heart perform surgery on it. it's RIDICULOUS. the common widespread physical & mental inferiority of these individuals needs to be CONSISTENTLY monitored for the complexes that will go through a brain attached to a body like that & will NATURALLY result in widespread abuses of power (that old saying "they're only human after all" works for much MUCH more than apologies & excuses)</p>
<p><strong>3)</strong> the modern American has been taught the <em>Art of the Bluff</em> from the moment he/she is born. he/she will get away with <em>anything</em> imaginable which of course will include debating political & legal concepts they have taken no time to research. </p>
<p><strong>4)</strong> we need a <strong>SERIOUS</strong> makeover of the word <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">LEADER</span></strong> because it now widely includes people who are told what to do as well as another group of people who really do not know what to do or how.</p>
<p></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063805
2011-12-06T16:00:00-08:00
2012-11-19T15:36:33-08:00
You, Me, The A.C.L.U. & the National Defense Authorization Act
<p> </p>
<p><strong>i originally wrote this for the A.C.L.U. website but i didn't want to be stuck in 100% politically correct language so i'll put it here: my house my rules</strong></p>
<p><strong>find this (*) towards the bottom if you just want to watch the movie intead of read the book</strong></p>
<p>Obama <em>claims</em> he'll veto the National Defense Authorization Act because it's an election year but watch him sign it "quietly" anyway.</p>
<p>i particularly like the word "defense"....defense of what ????<br></p>
<p> </p>
<p>"civil disobedience" & voting is not going to stop any of this. (i make this next statement not directed at the A.C.L.U. because i have in fact raised money for it for many years but i mean this in general) i think that i have run into no greater irony in my entire adult life than seeing such a large group of (well-meaning) citizens of a country built on revolution, war, & the dollar think they are going to uproot it with anything but the same. it's no different than a boxer who gets in a ring & thinks he's going to win by throwing no punches because he's SO smart or such a "good" person. never forget what THIS game is really about. if you do not want to play it <strong>DO NOT PLAY IT</strong>. give me someone who cites Gandhi & a story about salt & i'll give you a fool. i state that not to be combative or haughty or any of the sort. i say it because i care about this country. i've recently started describing this subject like a mother talking to her troubled daughter. "i do not hate you America. i love you very much actually. what i HATE is your behavior."</p>
<p>(BUT) i still need to know why she's so inclined to be that way.</p>
<p>look up the history of the last 100+ years of Eugenics in this country. find out where Hilter REALLY got his inspiration for <em>Mein Kampf</em> as well as all of his Eugenics-based laws. look up Madison Grant's book <em>The Passing of the Great Race</em>. discover what it meant to Hitler. know about the "fan" letter he wrote to Grant about how his book was his "bible". while we're on the subject of "fans" make sure you know all about Hitler's "fans" like Granddaddy Prescott Bush, Rockefeller, Carnegie, & all the others. Don't forget about Thomas J. Watson a staunch admirer of Hitler's who also owned I.B.M. & sold the Nazis the machines to keep a prisoner count...ya know like 1 for good worker 2 for bad 3 for gassed 4 for shot in the head 5 for joy division....as well as serviced those machines at the concentration camps. Those tattoos that survivors had = I.B.M. identification numbers. I.B.M. had used those same Hollerith punch card numbers in a Jamaican race crossing (or mix) study in 1928. it's a fingerprint of guilt. always keep in mind the 1st computers were invented by a Eugenicist <em>for</em> Eugenics. other "fans" include U.S. Eugenicists Laughlin, Davenport, & Gothe who went to Germany to help Hitler "fine tune" what he was doing to the Jews, the handicapped, & anyone else deemed socially inadequate. when you walk down the beverage aisle of your local grocery store see the Fanta on the shelves which was specifically created so that Coca-Cola could profit in Nazi Germany without ruining its "good" name as well as use Hitler's slave labor to boost the bottom line. realize how "tyranny" & "scientific rationale" have historically been shown to be compatible bedmates for elitist propaganda & how it fits perfectly into control of a monetary system. look up the LEGAL definition of "income" as used in the 16th Ammendment & figure out how you have been paying an illegal income tax that does nothing but pay off the interest on our loan from the Federal Reserve and leaves us with trillions of dollars of debt from the money that disappears and the associated waste . know why your government thought it would be a GREAT idea to take out that loan & pay interest in the 1st place instead of skipping that & printing its own money. look up the Grace Commission & see for yourself. read their words. see where that "income" tax goes. know the long list of other legal taxes that pay for all the things many assume are paid for by a government that is dipping its hands in your pocket before you even have YOUR paycheck in YOUR hands. if you foolishly think "they need that income tax money to function" ask yourself how they made all of that happen from 1776-1912 before this new Federal Reserve "system" set up by the wealthiest private bankers ??? read how the Supreme Court has ruled that <strong>WAGE</strong> is your private property & how it believes that a government taking any of it is a totalitarian act....that that is NOT democracy & it never has been or will be no matter what anyone taught you or tried to sell you including yourself. discover why you have been taught/trained to incorrectly use the word "income" instead of the proper word <strong>WAGE </strong>so that you read that 16th Ammendment about <span style="text-decoration:underline">CORPORATE INCOME</span> & think it's about you. ask yourself why you probably do not know that that tax is COMPLETELY voluntary to any WAGE-earner & absolutely not required in any context of the actual law no matter what ANYONE tells you. these are the facts. many never even bother to ask <em>why</em> they pay it. they just pay it & never ask WHAT AM I GETTING FOR THIS financial "duty" of the so-called good citizen ??? if you can't come up with an answer we move to if you work hard so that your government can take money out of that to pay the vig on a loan to a bunch of mobsters straight out of a bad Godfather story then WHY PAY IT ??? listen to the nonsense of the "others" who pay up to 40% or more of their total wages to all of those taxes & fees & tickets & surcharges when all is said & done, do nothing about it but all of a sudden have the biggest mouth on the block if anyone dares to mention the word <span style="text-decoration:underline">SOCIALISM</span> because some group of mentally impotent retards taught them to do so. find out why the dollar is actually worth about 4 cents now. travel outside of the U.S. & find the places that have stopped exchanging for that deliberately devalued dollar (most give up the bulk of their time for) because it is literally worthless to them. in other words hit this from all sides. the only true positive that can come from having to take the time to combat something as dangerous as the National Defense Authorization Act is that it furthers the discussion & perhaps a few people from this commentary will go off & find things they did not know about & learn how it all ties into the big picture....<em>including me</em>.<br></p>
<p>The National Defense Authorization Act is about all this & more. Occupy is about all this & more. The debt you were encouraged to take on as if it's "normal" is about all this & more. Your not knowing about every single thing i have mentioned here & why your news is not talking about it every single day is about all this & more. there is no "tangent" long enough to explain it. do not listen to your neighbors who double as morons when presented with any of these subjects & want to waste your time with endless uninformed debate. they are actually the scariest part of all of this because each person can only climb the mountain with so much weight on his back...no matter how strong. it's basic physics. as in any battle some of the mortally wounded (in this case by poor life decisions & sitting their fat lazy asses on a couch in front of a TV instead of educating themselves) will need to be left behind to figuratively die. if their news didn't warn them...well....the internet did for what has been the bulk of at least the last 5 years. only 1 out of those 1825 days was required for them to make an "extra" effort & simply <strong>WAKE UP.</strong> what's that saying ??? <em>Ignorantia juris non excusat</em>. that's <em><span style="text-decoration:underline">ignorance of the law does not excuse</span></em> to you & me. them's the breaks. i just presented the shortest yet most detailed outline possible most of you have ever read on this subject. fill in the gaps so you know it rather than being spoonfed every last crumb. run with it and/or teach me more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>(*)</strong> some people prefer to watch the movie instead of taking the time to read the book. that's fine. it's each individual's choice or preference. well here's the (super) quick screenplay of everything outlined above.</p>
<p>[fade in to young girl skipping rope as her dad washes the family car]</p>
<p>for the 1st hour of the movie we see how much she ADORES her father. he's her hero. she writes an essay for a Father of the Year contest. she talks about how he's "the most honest man she has ever known"...all that shit. She grows up to be <em>just like her dad</em>. She lives to make him proud. She plays the sports he plays. She studies the things he likes in school. She earns a scholarship to go to college in Europe which she has always dreamed about ever since watching her dad's favorite movie <em>Casablanca</em> but goes to the state university instead to be close to him. She looks for a man just like him to marry. She names her 1st born child after him. Towards the end of the movie she finds out that her dad is a lying murderer who also steals for a living & had another wife & kids on the side the whole time. when she confronts him he finally admits that he's never been sure if he's really her father or not because her mother (now dead) used to be a prostitute. he knows this because he was her pimp.</p>
<p>woman weeps & pulls out a picture with her dad in front of the car from that day at the beginning of the movie. her tears fall on the picture. her father puts his hand on her shoulder but she aggressively shrugs it off, stands up, takes a deep breath, wipes away the tears, utters an emotionless good-bye, & moves on with the rest of her life with her eyes fully open.</p>
<p>[fade to black]</p>
<p>credits roll with <em>Papa Was A Rolling Stone </em>in the background.</p>
<p>the end.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>UPDATE 1: </strong>today after i posted this a friend of a friend asked why the American public & media is not freaking out about this more. i say: <span class="commentBody">i think a good portion of America needs an evil looking man standing on a podium speaking very aggressively in a foreign language to groups of people in perfect lines to get it. they don't read the book. they just watch the movie.</span></p>
<p><span class="commentBody"><span class="translatedBody"><strong>UPDATE 2</strong>: just hours after i posted this the House passes a the Regulations From the Executive in Need of Scrutiny Act to give the Senate veto power over the White House requiring the Senate to sign off on "any new rule stimated to cost over 100 million dollars." (which is fine if that's all it's <em>really</em> about) </span></span> </p>
<p> Regulations From the Executive in Need of Scrutiny -- or REINS -- Act</p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063859
2011-11-30T16:00:00-08:00
2014-06-16T00:50:10-07:00
Nazi Who ??
<p></p>
<p>The Patriot Act was 300 pages long & weighed as much or more than a baby. It was printed at 3AM & it was required that representatives vote for it that same day at 11AM. Why ?? If someone <strong>REALLY</strong> cares about "patriotism" wouldn't they want everyone to take the proper time to <strong>REALLY</strong> absorb this document. Look up Naomi Wolf the author of the book that this documentary is based on. Great Lady. Oh & <strong>ALL TEN</strong> steps the Nazis implemented in Germany to change course are in full swing here & if you think that's some great big coincidence you truly are a waste of a thinking human being.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Random fact of the day: one of the all-time FAVORITE Nazi words = <strong>HOMELAND</strong></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
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<p>people have great misconceptions about Nazi Germany. In the early '30s you still would have found Gay & Women's Rights organizations. torture was illegal. there were <strong>MANY </strong>newspapers & media outlets. they had more than their fair share of celebrities. it was a thriving very modern society even more so than America. It was not some deserted wasteland that needed saving. Hitler was not the all-encompassing figure of <strong>EVIL</strong> a movie wants to sell you. By most accounts he was highly intelligent & charming & if everyone did not trust in that he never would have been able to get away with the things he did. The Devil is most devilish when respectable.</p>
<p>i think the other thing that needs to be added to this is that the common sleepwalker of today has this line of thinking that goes something like this ===> if we don't end up with a guy who reminds us of Hitler & some poor group of people are being led to slaughter in gas chambers then we could not POSSIBLY be "like" Nazi Germany. Those vapid vessels seem to forget that people who want to make these modern changes happen were taking notes & they must have made one particular one that read kinda like:</p>
<p><strong>DON'T LOOK LIKE MURDERING BAD GUYS (NOT GOOD)</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/caaaf66ae9008b388826a8626a3c97473e64b5cf/original/ten-steps-to-fascism.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM4NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="384" width="600" /></strong></p>
<p>keep in mind (just) one of the answers to number 3: <strong>BLACKWATER</strong>. that company is making a <strong>FORTUNE</strong> from our government & has been for years. don't be surprised if you start hearing that name along with abuse of Occupy protesters. they are (amongst so many other things) a highly trained organization of hitmen i.e. murderers assembled from around the world. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /> </p>
<p><strong>here's Naomi talking about her book. this is not the documentary.</strong></p>
<p></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063855
2011-11-28T16:00:00-08:00
2011-11-29T06:15:10-08:00
2011 or 1984 ???
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/94881625396fae3cf1efb68a5aeb0fbfecb034d0/original/the-real-cunt-punt-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDM4NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="384" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063858
2011-11-23T16:00:00-08:00
2015-06-11T19:18:13-07:00
Avril & Usher's Happy Endings
<p></p>
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<p> <strong>MEMORIES:</strong> honestly i was a bit wasted backstage during this performance. that crowd noise is fake. gotta love TV. </p>
<p>anna nicole smith & velvet revolver were there, pamela & tommy lee, michael douglas, kanye, usher, alecia keys, outkast, whoever else. one of the interesting things to see was how Pamela Anderson ceased to exist the moment Anna Nicole made her entrance. she had just lost the weight. she was GIANT. i saw her flip that switch that she turned on when there was an audience. suddenly it all made sense to me. she was our Marilyn complete with the head back now i put on my sexy mouth with one high heeled leg exposed thing she did. she was a true show(wo)man. of course following her around like a puppy was that Howard Stern lawyer guy. </p>
<p>whitney houston was crack is whacked out of her mind but made an UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE recovery once that camera was on her. one minute she was freaking the fuck out on some P.A. for a Coke (a-cola) & the next minute she was singing her ass off. this show was supposed to be the catalyst for her great big comeback but that never came to be because she's a nightmare. </p>
<p>anyway i gained a new respect for Avril that night. i just watched this again to see if it was as i remembered & for the most part it is/was. i kind of felt bad for her because everyone was ignoring her that night. she's a more than decent singer & can pull it off without the backing track security blanket of many of her peers but unfortunately everyone just treated her like a kid...probably still do...and JESUS is she tiny. her guitar wasn't plugged in though but i'll give her a pass on that one. </p>
<p>this was the 1st year the awards were in Las Vegas. They were always held in Monoco but the wife of the president of the awards company that ran these shows & the emmys & whatever else made some drunken joke on stage the year before about wanting to dyke out with the princess of Monaco. she was a cool lady....the drunk one i mean. fuck Monaco & that twat princess if she couldn't take a joke....but going from Monaco to Las Vegas was like going from the palace to the gutter which is probably best. </p>
<p>i called one of the production manager chicks a cunt (because she was) & she fucking started crying....with this shaky lower lip "you think i'm a cunt?" thing.... i kinda felt bad for a minute....thought maybe i might get gonged until a group of people including Dick Clark's son one of the production company's higher ups came & patted me on the back while cracking up. i found out noone else was a fan either. </p>
<p>i really liked Usher's limo driver. he had given me a ride earlier to go pick up some tacos. later i went out back & got stoned with him in the parking lot behind the Thomas & Mack center. he told me Usher was in the car getting blown by a hooker on the way over from the airport only problem is the airport is across the street so he must have (hopefully) needed a little more time. he had supposedly just started dating Naomi Campbell. i think that lasted about a couple minutes. wonder why ??</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline">T</span><span style="text-decoration:underline">RUE STORY EVERY FUCKING WORD</span> with a <strong>hahafuckin'ha</strong> to boot noting that one of the things i've witnessed with my own 2 eyes over the years is that the "stars" like to play the public into believing that everything in the <em>Enquirer</em> is complete fiction when most times it's true or not far from it i.e. facts are stranger than fiction. at times you can't make this shit up or more like there's no reason to. they'll come up with something better than what you/i/we could have imagined. the bad parenting handbook reverberates everywhere regardless of income, background, or media hype.</p>
<p>the rest of the night was 10x's more fun even though the specifics seem to elude me at this point....DAMN i miss that town. dr feelgood will trade you a prescription pad if you'll just find someone to get him some cocaine on the down low. what a blur.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e80001da423118b7bd454c5273863db0d2160a6a/original/usher.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="400" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063856
2011-11-21T16:00:00-08:00
2011-11-29T06:31:34-08:00
Occupy This
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/eacd95a3e3cdf5da685d1155abd4e37f1b28be96/original/occupy-this-smedley-butler-by-carella-ross.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc1MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="752" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063824
2011-10-17T17:00:00-07:00
2011-10-19T12:24:18-07:00
Occupy Yourself
<p>
</p><p><strong>comments are disabled</strong></p>
<p>before i begin. don't get me wrong. i <strong>COMPLETELY</strong> support the progressive movement/unrest that is brewing right now. but there's <strong>SO</strong> much more to it (including what the "other" side has to say about it as well). anyway.....</p>
<p>i'm hearing ALOT of chatter about Corporate this Corporate that but not nearly enough about people getting their own shit in line. there's an irony to anyone out there protesting if they have a credit card in their pocket and are saddled with an endless line of debt that cripples their freedom (unless of course someone forced your hand while signing off on each and every one of those frivolous "purchases".) I'm not saying those people should not be there because i'd be willing to bet that credit served as a crutch to try to offset the general public being screwed by a "democracy" that is anything but at this point. <strong>BUT</strong> without mincing ANY words....leave it to the American "rebels" to yap and yap righteously while they've got Visa/Mastercard's cock(s) in their mouths.</p>
<p>quit your job and do your "protesting" on a timeline that isn't convenient for you. you wanna make a difference ?? say no to your mortgages, your car payments, your credit card bills, your college loans. REALLY blow the fucker up. oh wait you can't because because because because [insert list of excuse after excuse].</p>
<p><strong>YEP</strong>.</p>
<p> </p>
i'm leaving to go do just that for awhile for the sole reason that i want to visit a few different places to bear witness to these times with my own eyes.
<p>back to the shit(e)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>this isn't just about corporate America. we're also in this MESS because of Americans charging their lives away. PERIOD. every one of those deadbeats is a burden on EVERYTHING. YOU are the ones who (along with those pariahs everyone is demonizing) hedged the stability of our future. i'm 14 years from cutting up my last Citibank credit card so i can speak freely. as a 20-something in 1998 i was smart enough to get the fuck out then and there. i KNEW where it was heading. don't get me wrong there were a few REALLY shitty years since when i could have used a credit card to make things EASIER. i was royally fucked but i suffered the hell of that and came out the other end without that financial burden to boot.</p>
<p>at times Americans are real good at the blame game rather than looking in the mirror and admitting how the roots of the problem begin with them right in their own home where their poor decisions rot and while following other people's rules because they gave up their ability to simply say NO to simply say FUCK YOU because they didn't have the GUTS to take the path less traveled.</p>
<p>"The artist needs to stand alone to see the crowd."</p>
<p>the arts taught me a COMPLETELY different value system and maybe if more were exposed to that they would be in a different position today. i've lost my way with it. everyone's been there. but i fought like a <em><strong>MOTHER FUCKER</strong></em> to get it back..</p>
<p>in America the numbers actually DO lie......<strong>PATHOLOGICALLY</strong>.</p>
<p>the real question is: which ones ?????</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/76152c4af52b5662c038c64b44bc6e8a0fe9e9aa/original/truth-its-the-new-hate-speech.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTQ2eDMzMiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="332" width="546" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063822
2011-10-02T17:00:00-07:00
2016-11-18T06:33:12-08:00
The monkeys get paid while the rest pay for it
<p> </p>
<p>this is the sheer essence of how genius is treated so often in the present tense meaning at the time it's happening. let's just take three key words (<strong>monumentally unimaginative movie</strong>) out of a review of Stanley Kubrick's <em>2001: A Space Odyssey</em>. there were many reviews like this at the time BTW because men like Stanley Kubrick threaten the <em>shit</em> out of the <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>drearies</strong></span> as they always have and always will. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/57a056426d815364f1e9af5512e0b72497dc7311/original/kubrick-2001-a-space-odyssey-review.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="285" width="600" /><br><br>this review begs that one obvious question: <strong>what could possibly be MORE unimaginative than not recognizing sheer audacity and guts ???</strong><br><br>i honestly don't know who wrote that review but i want to be a fly on his wall. i want to live in his head. i want to listen to the dogma he must have fed his children. i want to watch him fuck. i want to meet the sad pathetic woman who actually spread her legs for him and decided that it would be a good idea to procreate and pollute the universe with his sub par seed. i want to see the most intimate details of his life with transparency so i can come to some/any understanding of how boring and shitty this man must have been that he would come to such a conclusion.<br><br>the film <em>2001: A Space Odyssey</em> showed us that up in the sky there is enough space for each and every one of the <strong>ONE HUNDRED BILLION</strong> humans who have walked Planet Earth during its entire existence to have enough space to have an entire planet all their own. <br><br>but that's "unimaginative".<br><br>(cue Jane's Addiction's Pigs In Zen) </p>
<p><strong><em>some people should die that's just unconscious knowledge</em></strong><br><br>now go find a <strong><em>Thinning the Herd</em></strong> thesis and read it: <strong>TWICE</strong>.<br><br>not to mention that in 1968 we had no idea what the Earth looked like from any great distance so Stanley Kubrick had to make all those space visuals happen using his imagination. that famous shot that astronauts took of Earth that everyone instantly recognizes on sight had not yet been published. to this day those visuals he depicted still look completely stunning <strong>43 FUCKING YEARS LATER</strong>. let's just forget about his use of Strauss' waltz when we travel through space which was franchised by every airline and car commercial for the next 20 years and beyond. let's just forget that George Lucas used the exact same model techniques to stun the world with <strong><em>Star Wars</em></strong> almost <strong>TEN</strong> years later.<br><br>there's only one reason why (no matter how diplomatic i desperately try to play it at times) i despise mediocrity. with it comes an excess of opinions and "values" based upon being threatened and/or scared of something they yes THEY do not understand. perhaps the truth is they understand damn well but to publicly admit that will be certain social death and an admission that they are less than another (even though everyone already knew that beforehand).</p>
<p>they don't realize how much "ahead of your time" costs every one of those pioneers at the time it's happening....this while the "behind the times" mother fuckers are all taking home paychecks for basically being pathetic at just about everything they do. they'll always be "safe" as long as what they see in the mirror is sitting on the other side of the desk doing the hiring.<br><br>and the monkeys get paid while the rest pay for it. </p>
<p><strong>THERE's</strong> the "free" ride. <strong>THERE's</strong> the "welfare" as well.</p>
<p>Occupy <strong>THAT</strong> mother fuckers.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/1f590f2f666516d486c7a4f67f6d823bce224bd1/original/kubrick-2001-space-odyssey-monkey-opening-scene.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="400" width="600" /></p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063843
2011-09-11T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T10:27:25-08:00
*SLAP*
<p>i've seen it so many times but it's still so SO odd. i go to this nice little restaurant across from my building & the older retired jewish couples who live in their deluxe apartments in the sky greet me with "Hi Carella. How are you doing Carella ?? How's the music Carella ?? The usual Carella ???" then i go to some themed night at this bar that's supposed to be this Bowie T Rex thing & you'd think i just walked into the Jersey Shore in drag with a "<strong style="font-size: x-small;">ALL YOU BLOWOUT GUIDOS ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING FAGGOTS</strong>" banner flashing in bright neon like a KISS concert. these entitled (for no reason) white American male meatballs act like a bunch of fucking troglodytes. it makes no sense especially since they're franchising a house that my kind built. but then again leave it to them to fuck up anything cool.</p>
<p><br>i NEVER mind the war. i MIND its predictable nature.<br><br>this has been a REALLY great year so my attitude is fuck it & fuck them BUT a nice little Jewish lady with a last name that makes me want to spit after pronouncing it continually shows me the power gained the grace the understanding that comes with being a foreigner who was probably treated like shit at some point in a way i'll never see. <br><br>i've got a MOUTH. period. it will never stop. it's P-R-I-N-C-I-P-L-E. but if someone was to look at the people it rails upon they would find a never-ending theme. i'll skip typing the explanation because it's pretty obvious. but i will add...................<br><br><strong>QUESTION:</strong> turn the other cheek ??<br><br><strong>ANSWER:</strong> fuck that<br><br>*SLAP*<br><br>(now turn the other cheek so i can slap it again ya fuckin' cunts)</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/d73ff8eaf9a91cef167db9190850acb2dda4310d/original/slap.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDkweDQ0OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="449" width="490" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063841
2011-09-05T17:00:00-07:00
2016-05-31T18:25:58-07:00
Me and MY Sanctity
<p>i'll tell you all about the "sanctity" of most marriages. it can be defined by one very evident very relevant ABUNDANTLY COMMON aspect of most marriages. the general rule goes like this for most: once you've got that ring on the finger you no longer have to make any effort to be attractive. you're now free to look like shit, gain as much weight as you want, & generally be a pale version of that former self that showed up on that 1st date way back when.</p>
<p><br>or so you think.................... <br><br>it's a real simple formula. you give no respect = you get no respect.<br><br>that's EXACTLY why so many fail at it.<br><br>no one REALLY wants to fuck you.<br><br>YOU don't even want to fuck YOU.<br><br>have you looked in the mirror lately ?????<br><br>a major part of loving you on the inside is ABOUT what's on the outside. you either know that as fact or you've fallen victim to the lies those ugly bastards around you spew. they obviously filled that fat head of yours with butterball drivel. if only Hostess would increase the size of your brain as it has your waistline you might have made some progress in this...that...CRUCIAL department.<br><br>to think that all this time (for the women) you were just a few make-up strokes away from an entirely different existence. it's one pair of $30 heels from Target for a better fuck last night. 1/2 hour of doing your hair instead of pulling it back in a scrunchie to get that rose on a non-holiday. (for the men) it's a few hours a week less of sitting your ass on a couch & spending it in a gym to get better head in the morning. more attention spent to not dressing like an over-sized boy so she doesn't have to starfuck that douche bag on her favorite stupid vampire show. <br><br>it's all right there within easy realistic reach but instead you choose to walk like a throw-away & then have the audacity to wake up one day wondering why you were thrown away.<br><br>since all this is nothing but true why do SO many of you desperately try to use that so-called "sanctity" as the main reason why gay couples should not be allowed to marry ?????<br><br>there is no "sanctity" because there really is no "YOU".<br><br>i don't THINK you're garbage....<br><br>i KNOW it.<br><br>isn't it ironic that most people would never allow their house to look like <strong><em>they</em></strong> do because all their neighbors would think they're a ghetto loser ??? somehow they fail to realize how that concept translates accordingly across the board as well as in their bedroom & beyond.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/9f80b005f8c8ffe5d41ae87b65dc3e3e2a17e7bb/original/worst-wedding-photo-ever.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDMwNCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="304" width="500" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063840
2011-08-17T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T10:44:36-08:00
What's good for Freud is good for a gander
<p>as Freud suggested we all have suppressed emotions whether they be mental, verbal or even sexual & that we should in essence blurt them out with zero regard for censorship. inside that realm the "civil" may actually be ludicrous & the "tactful" simply cowards. i'm sure it is easy to comprehend that it takes an open mind to appreciate and/or embrace the bizarre but it begs the question what is bizarre ?? we all have our own personal definitions.</p>
<p><br>(for instance) bizarre to me is the fake blank glare smiles i see in typical American family photos. the emptiness in the eyes is striking. it's like a lucite saddlebag of "happiness" & the dry stale resin is dripping off the photo paper. ironically i would most likely see the horror within less if they were not "smiling". i understand the lack of composure part of the equation but it's the sacrilege of the act of that baffles me.<br><br>sacrilege ???<br><br>YES.<br><br>those people in those photos are so caught up in appearing the way they THINK others think they should appear that they could never give a natural presention of themselves. in fact they're so busy trying to pretend at so many things that i think they're most likely too lost to know who they truly are & how that person might appear in a photo. it's as if they would need to see it up on a movie screen, attempt to absorb it, & then take college courses (with a capital S) on how to fulfill it with of course no refund for failure. they might not ever be worthy of that "forbidden" landscape or perhaps it could never be more than a superficial or synthetic mask.<br><br>impunity should of course only be reserved for royalty.<br><br>perhaps i'm being paranoid which is perfect since that's an essential tool in the manifestation of any reality especially when you're dealing with a minion of plank walking fantasy seekers gulping down quarts of repression & unfulfilled dreams.<br><br>there's really only 2 types of people in this world. the fork in that road is drawn through one simple question. what do you really want to do with your life ?? the larger group needs to sit & think about it for a while. the smaller group says "i'm doing it". that group is alive. the other group is dead or monkeys or sub-humans or perhaps trogolydytes if that sits more politely with you. you know......far far FAR left on the chart below because true civility really begins with self-awareness & how could one EVER achieve that if they don't even have the balls to do/be what they want ???<br><br>so that's why when someone asks "what do you do ??"<br><br>ANSWER: Me.<br><br>my job is Carella.<br><br>i'm the CEO (bitch).<br><br>know what that means ???<br><br>it means no one can tattle on me for being "harsh".<br><br>a.k.a. you can't blackball a black ball.<br><br>in the words of Ms. Dinsmoor ====> chicka-<strong>BOOM</strong></p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8d4268bef95e6f7db4db143d42a10d3369b7a696/original/evolution-chart.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDg0eDYwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="600" width="484" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063839
2011-08-09T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T10:49:19-08:00
True Middle Class Rut
<p><strong style="font-size: small;">QUESTION:</strong> Who was the one band that packed CBGB's more than any other other band in its entire history (not to mention the longest lines around the block that the place would ever see) ???</p>
<p><strong>ANSWER:</strong> The Plasmatics.<br><br>the middle class version of every story is ALWAYS suspect.<br><br>that's crumb 101.<br><br>do you need a refresher course ???</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/3648d12a528a88cfda60d9b492b625ba9c988d11/original/wendy-o-williams.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDU4MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="582" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/068b361a95394ac34b2230ed41c7f4255f0965c8/original/wendy-o-williams-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDU3NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="577" width="600" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8cfeffeb3a1e125fd09f6192773d45900f1cef73/original/wendy-o-williams-3.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDU3NyJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="577" width="600" /></p>
<p> </p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063838
2011-08-08T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T10:51:57-08:00
One Life to Live to Slay You, Your Friends, & Send You All to the General Hospital
<p>so i'm at this party in west hollywood. in walks this typically predictable white chick slingin' the low waist jeans with the slightly belled (& of course slightly long) bottoms, some lacy black top with the spaghetti straps, & heels that are obviously an inch or three higher than the flip-flops, flats, or sports shoes she's used to wearing when the camera isn't on. yep she's got her unoriginal like all the other white American cunts uniform on: check, check, & check. </p>
<p><br>the Lifetime Network says she's "edgy without being slutty" so who the fuck am i anyway.........<br><br>not too long after she walks in someone i didn't ask informs me that "she's on some soap opera" which means nothing to me because i work with bigger "stars" than that on a television show that i don’t even watch. so anyway i'm in the kitchen grabbing a drink trying to surmise if anyone has any K which i doubt since we're in California & this is probably a coke/meth crowd while wondering if i should run outside & grab my Shout At The Devil disc in my friend's car.<br><br>i was staring out the window mentally scrolling through what would be a better song than the one we were listening to when soap opera chick swanks in: joins conversation.....makes some statement that she'd rather be "leaning up against a motorcycle listening to the Kinks because she's more rock n roll than the music playing" etc etc etc. this makes me want to throw up in my mouth. i don't know why. let's just call it instinct. i turn like a shark who just smelled blood in the water. i ask, “oh yeah you like the Kinks ?? what's your favorite album ??" <br><br>YES my loyal readers.....i know i know that's a trick question. they only had LIKE 30 ALBUMS about 10 of which had "Kinks" in the name but i'm going to continue my ruse.<br><br>is it a spoiler to say that we might have a complete coose in our midst ??? actually the director just told me "no that's just foreshadowing" so we're all good.<br><br>[FADE IN....i enter stage left no make that right & narrate directly into the camera]<br><br>little does this cunt know she's trapped in a corner with a rattlesnake. there's no way out but through. there's only one apple she can bite right now to make quick friends with that serpent. BUT if she's playing an honest card she will only see this cowboy once & will safely be on her way in a matter of moments. all pre-judgments will be kicked to curb. i'll even figuratively "buy" her a drink. OR ===> She’s the wizard behind the curtain right now. All she needs to do is come clean, reveal her true self, & all will be forgiven. An "I don't know why i just said that because i don't really know" will feed the beast & he will be on his way. but if she continues to play the gloom & doom mask up on the movie screen well let’s just say that she’s gonna need to pray the devil back to hell if she doesn’t really mean it. don’t climb in the ring & expect to never get punched. i mean FUCK WE'RE NOT IN IOWA HERE. she's in the "business". she should know.<br><br>she of course fumbles because she realizes Classic Rock hits of the 60's or Jock Jams 5 is not going to float as passable answers. as she continues to peddle through 20 seconds of silent searching seems like eternal damnation i decide to throw her a bone...a get out of jail free lifeline bonus question if you will. "OK what are your 3 favorite songs then ???"<br><br>i figure the bitch should probably be able to name You Really Got Me & Lola. All she needs to do now is come up with All Day & All of the Night or Where Have All The Good Times Gone or Set Me Free or even Tired of Waiting for You (which Green Day covered) & she's home free. hell she might have even picked up Well Respected Man from the Juno soundtrack which in that case the bell will ring DING DING DING & Bob will excitedly ask the announcer "What do we have for our big WINNER !!".<br><br>Of course she comes up with the 1st 2 & desperately tries to come up with a 3rd before i let her in on a little secret: "Look if you a need a naughty gimmick you can't buy in a store to show that you're something cooler than that safe lower middle class from the Valley background your hair, make-up, & bad taste in heels stamps on your forehead play it a little better next time. if you're gonna belly up to the bar at least be prepared for the party at hand. at least Wikipedia that shit 1st like a good lil cracker fake before you open your mouth & try to pretend you're something that you're not.....we all know who WE are.....why don't you figure out who YOU are."<br><br>[cue Chopin's Funeral March]<br><br>let me just close with this. if you have not smoked someone else's cigarette butt off of the ground, or eaten their leftovers, done drugs in public, slept on a park bench, been homeless, shared a drink from the same bottle with a bum, lived in ANY state with no family or immediate friends to help you out, been called a faggot, any and/or all of the above ====> there's absolutely NOTHING "rock n roll" about you so try on another costume. it takes A LOT more than name checkin' a band or buying a leather bracelet. now why don't you go irritate some cool people with that gay-ass phone of yours, text emoticons to all those fair-weathered dildos you call friends, & buy a soy caramel latte with your credit card like all the other safe something to fall back on butt-fucks.<br><br>OK ?????????<br><br>*KISSES*<br><br><br>disclaimer: sorry in the 2nd to last paragraph that was "pretend YOUR something YOUR not"<br><br>(wouldn't want anything to get lost in translation for the morons)</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a11d6b84b9fff5b1fdd8732336be912f54e178f/original/gaga.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDUweDM5MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="391" width="450" /></p>
<p> </p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063837
2011-08-03T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T11:00:04-08:00
The Power of FRUMP Compels You
<p>women (mostly American) are supposedly in an "uproar" over this 10-year-old appearing in French Vogue. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/eea0579b6fee8c94b88eb1ed35154dbac344dcdf/original/french-vogue-1.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMzOCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="338" width="600" /></p>
<p>let's not forget that her two VERY SUCCESSFUL non-sexually repressed parents of course fully approved. i've heard a lot of so-called questions about this typically feigned concern but why has this one been conveniently left out: do these women have a problem with this little girl because she looks like more of a woman than they do ????<br><br>i never mince words so let's just let this shit fly in plain english that everyone & that's EVERYONE can easily understand. the average "modern" American woman looks like <strong>COMPLETE SHIT</strong> with her frumpy, skirt-less, heel-less, make-up-less, pony-tail agenda that she has donned like a sheep walking to a no one really wants to fuck her slaughter. she desperately needs a non-Oprah show influenced fashion renaissance. that American woman has NEVER looked worse. if she thinks she's pulling off some "i've got the power to wear pants & i'm liberating myself" Coco Chanel-chic something something she is SORELY mistaken. yeah that USED to be a statement 40 years ago: now it's as simple as <strong>YOUR PURE LAZINESS HAS BACKED YOU INTO A CORNER CALLED I CAN'T NATURALLY PULL-OFF FEMININITY ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M SO OUT OF PRACTICE</strong>....then you throw on a pair of heels & we all watch the bull in the china shop. <br><br>we have eyes. everyone sees. you're not fooling anyone. <br><br>in fact so many woman today are so pathetically inept at "female" they probably SHOULD take a few tips from this 10-year-old.<br><br>PRETTY SAD. <br><br>there's absolutely nothing "sexual" about these pictures & why are un-properly fucked "women" who look & dress like men (boys actually) trying to extol the profound truth about that subject anyway ???????<br><br>so shut-up ya cunts. don't you have a soccer game you should be at or at least some hairy butterball you should be sucking off to get those window treatments you want ?????<br><br>yeah get busy with that & let the rest of us worry about the grown-up stuff.<br><br><strong>*KISSES*</strong></p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ace4bdf28d35ab7120b2ce1a8bf13b46e9769a06/original/french-vogue-2.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDY1NCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="654" width="500" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063836
2011-08-01T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T11:41:09-08:00
No...not HOT for teacher
<p>i was lucky to have this incredible mentor when i was 19. not only was it a woman but she was close to 60 years old at the time. i met her the day i walked into her class in my 2nd year of college. she only taught that one class because she owned a legendary recording and rehearsal studio. she was also a political columnist writing with a jewish nom de plume because "she always wanted to be jewish". i'll skip stating her name because of part of the story. these teachers were different. they didn't walk the those that can do & those that can't teach cliche. my music business instructor was the president of capitol records at the time so when these people spoke i <strong style="font-size: x-small;">REALLY</strong> listened.</p>
<p>the female teacher i had mentioned 1st was not only one of my favorite teachers of all-time but she is/was one of my all-time favorite people as well....simply put one of the coolest mother fuckers i have ever met with an articulate tongue like a god damn merciless razor to match. it's funny now that i think about it the one unpopular teacher that everyone hated didn't like her & would even say so often. pretty telling. i can only imagine now that he probably wanted to fuck her & she probably ignored him or better yet maybe she verbally bitch slapped his ass. i wish i would have asked because she would have told me yet another priceless story. <br><br>after she was my instructor i got to know her better. no not like THAT. there wasn't any teacher fucks student scenario. basically she was just honest with me in that i know i REALLY got to know her. when did i find out most of these things ??? while we were hanging out at her place getting high. yes weed. mary jane. reefer. the pot. <br><br>i was part of a small elite club with this woman. i know this because the last student she let in like that was about 5-6 years older than me......an impressive female as well who assured me that i "won the golden ticket" & went on & on about how much she loved this teacher. it's cool that they're still business partners to this day.<br><br>so back to her.........<br></p>
<p>keep in mind that what i'm about to type came from the mind & mouth of a woman who had been married to her soul mate for over 40 years. to this day i can't say i've ever met a more perfect couple as far as seemless compliment of one another. i would have guessed they were twins separated at birth if i didn't know the story. </p>
<p><br>i was thinking today about one of the many great conversations we had. one day she was going off about this whole "don't let some stupid little bitch girl trap you with the petty offering of real life bullshit" (or something to that extent) she advised me to keep a close eye on the ways people will deliberately misuse concepts like "security" & "normal" to trap people like me into doing what THEY want me to do....not because it's what's best for me but because that might be one of the only ways they'll get me to stick around if i'm really GOING somewhere....anywhere in this life.....& at any time within it to boot. she stressed how everyone has a different timeline & journey. i specifically remember her citing what a great much more respected career Dan Akroyd had evolved into mainly after he'd gained a bunch of weight as well as an older appearance which allowed people to forget the SNL guy who used to star in B-list movies like Dr Detroit & move up the ladder to Driving Miss Daisy. she said "giving up jokes for that man would have been like a bimbo giving up her tits if he didn't have any talent....but he did so......"<br><br>she was basically talking about how there's no right or wrong path but the one you're supposed to be on.....but make sure you're on it because you can get really REALLY lost on any detour.</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5faa20ee2c71a8fab444db27887c85df8fbaadc0/original/hot-for-teacher.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzI3eDMyOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="329" width="327" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063835
2011-07-27T17:00:00-07:00
2011-07-27T17:46:13-07:00
A Pig Without Wings
<p><strong>comments are disable</strong><br></p>
<p><strong>TO THE SMALL PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO GET THEIR PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER WHAT I WRITE:</strong> here's how it works.....i make ANY reference to being FAT & out pop the 3 little piggies (if that) who think they're gonna huff & puff & blow my house down....except in REAL life outside a fairy tale the wolf rips you to pieces & moves on with its day without missing a step. the ONLY reason you get angry with my writing is projected insecurity which is why i do it. it's a PHENOMENAL filter nothing to beat it. you are nothing more than a rat in that cage a pig without wings.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/513f9d853dd915fbb3acd0ec3074ceb639680f27/original/pig-with-wings.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzEweDMwMyJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="303" width="310" /><br></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063834
2011-07-25T17:00:00-07:00
2016-11-17T17:36:03-08:00
The Real Cunt Punt
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p>see here's the REAL cunt punt:<br><br><strong>if i have a problem with you = YOU ARE A PROBLEM </strong></p>
<p><strong>and that is NOT my problem it is YOUR problem.</strong><br><br>don't confuse justice with preoccupation. i'll be back in my powder room before you even fully realize what just happened.<br><br>it's a very short list of people that i have serious issues with i assure you all. those (unfortunate) worthless cunts that i DO have a problem with always try to play the <strong>SAME EXACT CARD WITH ME</strong> over and over again like a stale broken record: that i have a problem with them because i hate everyone and everything. </p>
<p>any intelligent person who truly understands hate knows this much: in order to <strong>REALLY</strong> hate another person you have to make them more important than yourself. instead of conducting your business you virtually flip the open sign to closed and cease to function in the red. </p>
<p>and if any of those worthless cunts think i'm <strong>EVER</strong> going to participate in that they are simply <strong>OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS =======> PERIOD.<br></strong><br>know what this all means ?? i can't name <strong>ONE</strong> person i truly <strong>HATE</strong>. <strong>NOT ONE</strong>. so why would a weak simpleton dolt try to play that convenient self-serving card with me ??</p>
<p> i just decorated it with <strong>Carella-flavored frosting</strong>.<br><br><strong>and it tastes DE-FUCKING-LICIOUS</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/86b924ed7108703e9cf0ea46b0bf470a7c75ade6/original/a-carella-signature-too.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTQ3eDExMSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="111" width="147" /></strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e6e0b4dd55ac36f9479700c21494de22ec3b694d/original/cunt-punt.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDc1MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="750" width="600" /></p>
<p> </p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063833
2011-07-24T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T13:20:42-08:00
One of the Only Lessons You'll Ever Need to Know
<p>and it's a quick one ===></p>
<p>As a general rule........upper tier way WAY cooler people are never ever EVER "regulars" at any bars or clubs....that's for non-leader followers who were never bored by the book Walden while still retaining the obvious commentary on the plight of routine</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline">routine is a security blanket for the gutless</span></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/43ea772c417d4109822f7addf42d3200863e82bc/original/chicken.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDAweDYwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="600" width="400" /><br></strong></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063802
2011-07-19T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-20T04:16:27-08:00
Thank GOD for Eno
<p>Unlike Brian Eno Lady Gaga is the purr-fect Ameri-con foil. she's not pretty enough to threaten the women. as far as the guys go well they fuck such god-awful women that almost ANYONE is hotter & more appealing than that. plus Gaga's kinda clumsy & awkward like a guy. those guy-ish elements certainly never hurt with the gay boys either because she DOES look like a tranny. so she's got all the obvious bases pretty much covered. it's no wonder in an ever-increasing marginal Amerikkka (& world) why she is so beloved.</p>
<p><br>i could not have built a better Franken-try-hard myself. <br><br>it's so ironic to me that Bette Midler recently complained about Gaga stealing her mermaid in the wheelchair schtick from the 80s. i've been saying for YEARS that Gaga reminds me of a Bette Midler train wreck. it's a NYC thing. i don't know if it's because of the Broadway element or what but post-70s NYC people tend to be very wear their "artistic" heart on their sleeve WAY too dramatic showtune corny people when it comes to the arts. they're the type of idiots who will list Cleopatra as a "person who inspires them" on Facebook. THAT shit.<br><br>it's not the 70s there anymore. how do you spell L-O-N-G...G-O-N-E...G-A-M-E...O-V-E-R ????<br><br>Madonna was SO New York. you know that tacky gum chomping Hollywood needed to fix her caterpillar eyebrows while she tells you "i'm a singer wanna hear" & gives you a little demo audition in the middle of the train station even though you never asked. THAT shit.<br><br>but i will add that at least she was good at what she did. the style shit can/could easily be fixed. you can weed-whack some big bush A LOT easier than fix a terrible singing voice.<br><br>the other NYC people today are the opposite of that Madonna. look at most of the NYC ex-MySpace celebritarians. they're all REALLY great at clothes & make-up & standing in front of a camera but whenever they delve into the real arts like music for instance the results are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ATROCIOUS. also they need EVERYTHING choreographed because if you leave anything to natural-land it will go to shit quicker than you can say cut. they need way WAY too much help making their shit go as well. they could not "produce" themselves out of a bag if left to their own devices. they always need some behind the scenes geek squad to show them how to do it.<br><br>i could list off the top 5 NYC criminals in a second but i'll skip it because i honestly have nothing against any of them personally. they're amusing in a harmless way anyway. they all tried to play that Jeffree Star cunt card years ago & when that didn't work each & every one of them is trying to be super swell "i really love all my fans" now. i guess they probably suck more because of their lack of conviction than anything else.<br><br>that & it ain't the same lower east side anymore.<br><br>soho's fucked too.<br><br>REAL up & coming artists can not afford those places which is why NYC's artistic output sucks the same giant bloated cock as west hollyhood.<br><br>before i go let me finish with doing what i always do with my Miss Gaga commentary. i like her. i think she's talented but as far as the reasons behind the level of popularity she has achieved i simply call it like i see it because if you REALLY think about it....if she really WAS cool she would tell that shitty part of America that she grovels for with Born This Way to suck her clit, shove their George Bush's straight up their asses, & that each & every one of them can deep-fry their lazy, fat, bigoted asses in a fuck you batter......<br><br>besides if little kids like sesame street AND you you're sesame street.<br><br>even Marilyn Manson was cooler than that.<br><br>you know why Brian Eno is so cool besides that you'll <strong>NEVER</strong> see him on American Idol ???<br><br>go ask your family who he is.<br><br>now go ask EVERY SINGLE TOP INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN THE ARTS.</p>
<p><strong>EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM</strong>.<br><br>DONE.<br><br>thank GOD for Eno.</p>
<p><strong>that outfit in the picture below was born about 15 years before Gaga's daddy blew his load.</strong></p>
<p>in Satan's name we PREY,<br><br>AMEN. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8da078cda7e9880e6bf5cee05471002ebecb5061/original/eno.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzUweDQ2MiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="462" width="350" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>P.S. Gaga....Bjork already covered the Alexander McQueen shit in 1997 and her music doesn't sound like a 90s Tampax commercial either</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/76ad0b57e2f01c50e091601ffb55e55e37bf564d/original/bjork.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MjIweDIyMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="220" width="220" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063821
2011-07-10T17:00:00-07:00
2011-07-10T20:57:37-07:00
Liam's (so-called) Cunt Smells Pretty
<p><strong>comments are disabled</strong><br></p>
<p>On the student riots: "I loved it, man. I'm into the violent side of it. I thought it made for fucking great TV. I still think they should get a fucking job, though. But I'm into people getting wound up about things. It's better than being fucking dead, innit?" (NME, December 2010).<br><br>On the Scissor Sisters: "Bright colours and fucking weirdos on stilts? I'm more entertaining than that shit." (NME, 2005).<br><br>On his emotions: “I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, ‘What a good-looking fuck you are.’” (NME, November 2006).<br><br>On Franz Ferdinand: "You look at [Alex Kapranos] and the singer from Right Said Fred. It's the same person! he's just gone on the Atkins diet and grown his hair." (NME, 2005).<br><br>On Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong: "Fuck right off. I'm not having him. I just don't like his head." (NME. August 2009).<br><br>On Coldplay: "Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What's all that with writing messages about Free Trade? If he wants to write things down I'll give him a pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students." (NME, 2006).<br><br>On Pete Doherty and Tom Chaplin: “Posh boys can't take drugs, man, they're lightweights. They have one little line, and they're in rehab". (The Observer, November 2006).<br><br>On conquering America: “Americans want grungy people stabbing themselves in the head onstage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don’t get it.” (NME, November 2006).<br><br>On what the public thinks of him: “Loudmouth blagging gobshite from Manchester…and they’d be totally correct.” (The Times, August 2008).<br><br>On Keith Richards and George Harrison: “They're jealous and senile and not getting enough fucking meat pies.” (The Sun, October 1997).<br><br>On Victoria Beckham’s literary aspirations: “She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.” (NME, September 2001).<br><br>On being soft at heart: “I am a tender, beautiful and loving guy that happens to slap a photographer now and then because they get in my way.” (Sky.com, July 2005).<br><br>On Coldplay and Radiohead: “I don't hate them, I don't wish they had accidents. I think their fans are boring and ugly and don't look like they're having a good time.” (The Guardian, August 2008).<br><br>On the Beatles Vs God: “It's got to be being in the Beatles. When<br>was the last time God made a decent record?” (Rolling Stone, October<br>2008).</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a037d37f4cf5926b7d3b56a65a2f99450b0f0242/original/liam.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDM3NSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="375" width="500" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063820
2011-07-09T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-20T04:25:22-08:00
Hittin' The Pipe With My Man Jesse
<p>being around me & expecting me to have zero commentary about modern <strong>Amerikkka</strong> & its minion of fat, ugly, shitty purveyors of the "dream" is like inviting Jesse Jackson over for Sunday brunch & expecting him to never once mention God.</p>
<p>it leaves only one valid pertinent question: are <strong>YOU </strong>out of<strong> YOUR</strong> fucking mind ????</p>
<p>i mean seriously: what crack are you smoking ?? you would <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>have</strong></span> to be a lazy piece of shit to actually sit around like a useless drone & allow the outside world to sputter along with nothing to say about it. you may think you're playing some moral high ground but i assure you you mixed it up with the powerless loser card in the deck.</p>
<p><strong>"Guilty men murmur. The innocent shout to the rafters."</strong> (douche bag)</p>
<p>google "blinded by self-serving fallacy" & get back to me chump ====></p>
<p> </p>
<p>if i did not start questioning who the real devils are after each & every scenario like that i would have to be a moron (perhaps just like you).<br></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/7187131f2388e97aee71d21c2656a672aca52646/original/jesse-jackson.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTUweDg0OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="849" width="550" /><br></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063819
2011-07-08T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T13:17:58-08:00
AMEN: Mr. Gallo
<p>Vincent Gallo: Uh-huh. I have no publicist, no agent, no manager, no lawyer, no assistant, no helper, no stylist, no intern, no maid, no gardener, nothing. Oh, I have a dentist. I had a shrink but he died 9 years ago, right when I needed him most. As for friends I have one. She’s a girl. I like her a whole lot though she is a passive aggressive, makes a lot of excuses, and plays dumb.</p>
<p><strong>====================</strong></p>
<p>I think the liberal mainstreamers in the press may be trying hard to eliminate antagonism and they may not have a sense of humor. In any case they seem to react harshly to things I say that they feel are offensive racially, religiously or regarding sexual preference. What is so odd to me is that if we are all equal and truly connected which I believe, then my remarks make no sense other than as humor. Yet my comments enrage so many who pantomime sensitivity in this regard. No hate group of any kind has ever reached out to me yet pet testing protesters, tree huggers, gay pride marchers and a few dark skins have threatened my life with hate like I have never known.</p>
<p><strong>====================</strong></p>
<p>Chloe (Sevigny) is not a very exciting person to hear speak so I am ok with not having her reflect on my film. As she is so self-serving, she probably chose to distance herself from the film since the Cannes pressure. Soon after Cannes she refused to do press with me and had the film removed from her bio. She must see something in distancing herself from me and my film that will bring her in favor with the mainstream.</p>
<p>~ <em>from an Independent Film Quarterly interview</em></p>
<p><strong>====================</strong><br></p>
<p><strong>(NY POST)</strong></p>
<p>When we asked if he enjoyed working with Ricci, Gallo growled, "It was OK when she wasn't drunk on the set. I think she's an alcoholic - it was either that, or she was on cough syrup the whole time. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> "I don't like her," Gallo continued. "She's an ungrateful cunt. But it was OK. She's basically a puppet. I told her what to do and she did it." </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Gallo also sniped about the voluptuous Ricci's fluctuating weight during filming: "She lost 17 pounds, and that was because I only let her eat one whole pizza pie every day."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/ec19505caf5fe7fe9c03a54d16e86b2d34c4c3e4/original/vincent-gallo.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDM2OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="369" width="500" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063818
2011-07-07T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T13:16:19-08:00
No Thanks Dead Girl
<p>no thanks. i do not want to be in your tagged Fagbook photo at the bar making stupid faces with the rest of the useless morons. i do not want to be in your video at the show either. i want to watch it. enjoy the moment. if i want to pretend i'm a cameraman for an afternoon i'll go on a tour of a film school (or some shit) or better yet: i'll actually BE one & cash the check. </p>
<p><br>i just don't want to relive every fucking moment of my life.....i guess for a person who knows tomorrow isn't really going be THAT much different last night's recap will do the trick.<br><br>if you're one of those people with 500 of the same club photos over & over & over my 1st & last word on you as a subject is ==========> NEXT.<br><br>you, your cell phone, AND that list of half-rate losers you give your number out to can take a FUCKING hike.</p>
<p>(but) you DO need to meet two of my best friends: MYSTERY & his hot sister MYSTIQUE after you stop the double-dippin' in douche-baggery (of course).</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/53c49845652ee08794f03d60a37b07bb0cd1aaeb/original/dead-girl.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTc1eDQ1MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="451" width="575" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063817
2011-07-06T17:00:00-07:00
2016-05-16T23:45:54-07:00
The Problem With Heroin
<p>What is heroin? It amounts to a concentrated, injectable form of opium. Opium drips right out of the seed pods of the opium poppy when incised a few days in their growth cycle after their petals fall. A simple process discovered in the early 19th century isolates morphine from opium, and another simple process, discovered late in the 19th century, makes heroin from morphine. Morphine is about ten times the strength of opium, and heroin is about four times the strength of morphine. Opium was legal, freely available, and widely used in both the U.K. and the U.S. until the early part of the 20th century. It's been an indispensable medicine wherever it has been known throughout human history. It is referred to as the "joy plant" in Sumerian texts 6000 years old. In 19th century Britain it was the drug indicated in the treatment for any pain from infant teething to rheumatism, as well as for sleeplessness, diarreah, coughs and colds, and depression. It was and is very effective against all these complaints. It is in fact the cure for the common cold, or all its symptoms. It was largely self prescribed, since medical care for the mass of people was still mostly a matter of traditional remedies, and it was as popular as aspirin is now. Every home had its bottle of laudanum -- opium dissolved in alcohol --, and in areas where living and working conditions were their worst, shop counters on Saturday market day would be laden with two or three thousand vials to meet the demand for the week. None of this caused alarm, in fact it was so much taken for granted that it is hard now to know how many people were physically addicted. That term "addiction" has become so loaded for us who have been force fed the image of the drug "fiend" that it takes some effort to imagine a society where widespread addiction is tolerated, but it was true of both England and America just 150 years ago. At worst it was regarded as a bad habit, an unfortunate weakness, like laziness. It was neither a crime nor a disease. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The transformation over the course of the 19th century of this view of the substance as a highly valued, widely used, general palliative into it's present status as a death dealing, insanity inducing, instrument of depravity has been traced expertly by Virginia Berridge with Griffith Edwards in their book <em>Opium and the People</em>. There was a public health movement with legitimate complaints about the wholly unregulated marketing of opium products which resulted in a certain number of accidental overdoses, etc.; there was the emergence of organized societies of doctors and pharmacists whose interests were served by claiming the right to control opium dispensation; there were class tensions leading the nervous, paternalistic middle classes to condemn the drug's use among the working class as ignorant and degenerate (heroin use is still pretty much regarded as criminal among the poor and just sad -- diseased -- among the privileged).</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>That rainy afternoon I had a meeting with P. He's a journalist one of whose special fields of interest and expertise is heroin. We had an interesting conversation in a chain pizzeria. He was unlike anyone else I talked to. Intense, pockmarked, skinny, late 20's, a little paranoid, a little haughty, very detached, determined like a scholar or diplomat to be fully understood on every point and not to be mis-quoted. Others wanted to share their information, he wanted to make his points.<br><br> Amidst much hedging, he predicted a major cultural shift, a re-evaluation of our position vis-à-vis drugs worldwide that would possibly replace truly dangerous addictive drugs such as alcohol and tobacco ("If you want to talk about death penalties for drug pushers start with the executives of tobacco companies." --Andrew Weil) with the mildest, crudest forms of presently illegal substances: coca leaves rather than cocaine, and opium rather than heroin. And then he presented his analysis -- in the terms of modern linguistic theory as applied to psychoanalysis -- of where the immediate appeal of heroin lies and why it's so offensive to society. (With apologies, I'd summarize his take as follows: Heroin simulates the oceanic ecstasy of the original pre-language state. Language springs from the urge to name one's desire, but because a word is not the thing it names, one actually puts oneself further and further from one's desire with every new word. It's this constitution of displaced desire as language that supplies all social motivation, so to short circuit oneself back to the original motivationless state via heroin is the ultimate transgression against society.) (In other words, heroin makes you a big baby -- which is definitely true.) <br><br> There's a way in which writing itself can be seen as a giant step in the decline of humankind. Writing codifies existence, it reduces it to laws (as Levi-Strauss described). It's a system, a tool, of oppression. In Narcotics Anonymous the first step is acknowledging that heroin is bigger than oneself and that is certainly true for a writer on the subject. <br><br> I felt both frustrated and stimulated by my conversation with P. What he mostly supplied were opinions -- fascinating, sophisticated opinions, but they didn't contribute much to my research. What our talk really brought home to me was the difficulty of the subject. Everyone throws around the term heroin "problem." Is the problem that people want to do it? If so, why? It does not damage one's health. Is addiction to it somehow inherently psychologically / socially harmful? How? Many other equally addictive drugs, from tobacco to barbiturates are legally available and much more widely used. (Alcohol causes many more deaths and valium is more difficult to withdraw from.) Heroin use is growing worldwide. Why? Is it the profit motive? Is its legal status the problem? If so, how can it be improved? These questions are all hard, especially in the present climate of irresponsible political and financial profiteering in the fear and fascination with the drug, but the suffering that is resulting from the evasion and / or misrepresentation of these issues makes it necessary to face them.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>England is a good place to start, because for 40 years (1920-60) it was the envy of the world for its benevolent, successful system for dealing with and containing addiction. Then something happened. In the sixties the number of users increased suddenly (though still remaining very low), the laws were made stricter (in 1969), and the number of users, stable for 40 years, just leapt off the graphs. What was going on? What did it mean, and what could be done about it? I walked back to my hotel in the rain feeling like the reporter in <em>Citizen Kane</em>, asking person after person: Who is Mr. Heroin? What did he do? What did it reveal about him? Poppybud.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>All societies have their acceptable and taboo drugs. The drugs that are generally acceptable in a given society have usually been in use there for long enough that, no matter how dangerous to the individual and the society they might be when used in concentrated doses and / or at frequent enough intervals, they are used wisely and with care, whereas, as we can see in England now with heroin or, for instance, as happened with Native Americans first exposed to alcohol, when an "alien" drug is introduced to a susceptible society it tends to be abused.<br><br> There are quite a few cultures where opium use is tolerated and addiction does not present a problem. The moment its use is obstructed, as happened in Pakistan in 1979, a market is created for the far more easily concealable and powerful and dangerous heroin (physical addiction to which occurs within two weeks daily use, while it's likely to take months of opium use). Pakistan, which had virtually no heroin addicts in 1979, now has over 200,000. All indications are that prohibition of a drug for which a demand exists leads only to crime and the chanelling of funds to criminals. Opiates aren't magically irresistible. It is ignorance and the fear created by ignorant and self-serving propaganda that fosters that idea. Even here and now there are far more people who occasionally use heroin in the U.S. than are addicted to it. In 1978 the White House Office of Drug Abuse Policy estimated there were 500,000 addicts and as many as 4,000,000 people who had used the drug during the preceding year. It has been established that every addict reaches a plateau level of quantity required and that a limited, low, number of the population are psychologically susceptible to addiction. It has also been established that heroin use in itself does not provoke acts of crime. (Alcohol does.) It is only the artificially inflated price created by its illegal status which leads to crime. <br><br> Virginia Berridge points out that valium and other mild tranquilizers have taken over the role that legal opium played in the 19th century -- 8.6 per cent of adults in the U.K. will, during a twelve month period, take such anxiety-relieving drugs for four weeks at a stretch.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I woke up this morning feeling like a drug addict. I woke too early, alone, with just this pale blue-grey light worming its way through the shutters, and I had this dreadful feeling of being behind, just behind. In every department: puffy eyes and muffled brain from being awake too soon; alone -- no "friend" whom I didn't owe, emotionally and financially, and was way behind in paying; behind in my resolutions to work; and far short of being the person I imagined and presented myself as being in my illusorily prouder moments. And knowing the only way to begin the day was to start lying. I'd have to lie just to get myself out of bed. Lie to myself that it was alright, that I was alright, that admitting my condition made it alright and that if I could accept that lie for just this morning, I'd be o.k., my confidence would return and I'd manage to begin behaving in such a way that I wouldn't have to feel this way again. As long as I could feel confident again, I'd be able to get what I need and do what I had to and people could believe in me because I'd believe in myself and vice versa and et cetera and ad infinitum. It all came back for a few seconds. Of course when I was addicted to heroin the mechanism was a little different. Because now the feelings of confidence I grope for when I feel lost have some basis, but then, before, when I was a junkie, nothing ever got really better, the fear just got covered for a day, every day, while it grew. I knew it too, but it's amazing what living conditions -- emotional and material -- a human can adjust to, especially when the change is gradual. Like the Jews in '30s Germany. You just focus your mind on the immediate aim. Heroin allows -- insists -- that all your problems are reduced to one simple question of logistics: how to cop today. Every day there's always some way to get that sixty dollars and someone to give it to. And then, to paraphrase Brecht, after we hit up, we can discuss morals.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The term "drug culture" is apt because upon partaking of a drug one leaves behind whatever other ways one may be classified socially / culturally and enters the culture of the users of that drug. The drug supercedes one's other qualities and one becomes drug derived and has more in common with others under the influence of the given drug than with anyone else. There is the country of the drunk, the country of the speed freak, and the country of the junkie. Heroin is the archetypal drug partly because, by inducing such an extreme form of self absorption and by being so highly addictive, it exemplifies this phenomenon -- the country of heroin is the country of the self referring self. The heroin addict needs virtually nothing but heroin. It removes social drives (as the journalist P. emphasized), and solves hunger.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Talking about heroin is like talking about pain: language is inadequate. You can't really learn from someone else's experience. The subject can't be isolated: it alters your whole being, and not only is it incapable of being shared with the non-initiate, but who in his right mind would want to fully grasp another's pain? A saint, maybe. Certainly not a politician. (Heroin, of course, is a pain killer.)</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>There is no "solution" to the heroin problem. (Andrew Tyler: "The solution to the heroin problem lies in individual self awareness.") It is not even possible to clearly define what constitutes the problem. Morality and law are just the places where human nature and societal values intersect. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. What I do to myself is nobody's business. [Weil on how our policies have led to extremely dangerous, but easily-smuggled, cocaine rather than safe coca leaves. Heroin rather than opium.]</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I remember first coming upon the concept of the "vested interest" in an essay by William Burroughs, and how those whose identities are as combatants of social problems therefore have a vested interest in maintaining the phenomenon against which they're pledged to battle. Politicians, of course, are generally tangled skeins of vested interests, the greatest one being their need to offend the fewest number of voters and campaign contributors. Politicians (and the media -- who also benefit from playing on people's fears) are responsible for supplying the general public with most of the information it gets about heroin. Their basic message is that it is a crime to use or traffick in opiates. Why is it a crime? Because it is illegal. "The word 'narcotic' comes from the Greek word meaning stupor...stupid." Is stupidity a crime? It would be if politicians didn't get a lot of mileage out of its use.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>WHO IS MR. HEROIN? This quiet guy with kinda soulful eyes but very small teeth. Wears a big fedora. Very apologetic. Crosses his legs like a girl. (The government like a nasty little chijuajua snapping at his heels.) Has a soul but no heart. He operates -- holds jobs and friends and attains his ends -- by being so good in the beginning, so efficient, creative, selfless, reliable, amusing and sensual as to make himself seem indispensable, creating such a blindingly positive first impression that he can stop working for years before his victim realizes it. He's not a friend at all; he's a self centered manipulator who works by subtle flattery.</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/929f45f512c2c06e5aa735209eac7aca506ec256/original/hell-thunders.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDQ2MCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="460" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063816
2011-07-06T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T13:24:41-08:00
Lydia Lunch on the old Times Square
<p>"<em style="font-size: small;">Times Square was a giant poisoned candy store ripe with whatever contaminant you wanted to pollute yourself with: sex, drugs, or the insane. I remember scoring Placydils – a barbiturate with a 20-minute high – for $1.50 a pop. I was a teenager, it was the mid-'70s, the neon, the marquees, the pimps, and the working girls and boys – it was heaven. Made me feel both really clean in comparison and filthy by proximity.</em>"</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/f29e08fb4df93468d1906f559d35465a5f386c71/original/lydia-lunch.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDMwMCJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="600" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063815
2011-07-05T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-26T06:53:45-08:00
The Problem With Music
<p></p>
<p>Whenever I talk to a band who are about to sign with a major label, I always end up thinking of them in a particular context. I imagine a trench, about four feet wide and five feet deep, maybe sixty yards long, filled with runny, decaying shit. I imagine these people, some of them good friends, some of them barely acquaintances, at one end of this trench. I also imagine a faceless industry lackey at the other end holding a fountain pen and a contract waiting to be signed. Nobody can see what's printed on the contract. It's too far away, and besides, the shit stench is making everybody's eyes water. The lackey shouts to everybody that the first one to swim the trench gets to sign the contract. Everybody dives in the trench and they struggle furiously to get to the other end. Two people arrive simultaneously and begin wrestling furiously, clawing each other and dunking each other under the shit. Eventually, one of them capitulates, and there's only one contestant left. He reaches for the pen, but the Lackey says "Actually, I think you need a little more development. Swim again, please. Backstroke". And he does of course. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Every major label involved in the hunt for new bands now has on staff a high-profile point man, an "A & R" rep who can present a comfortable face to any prospective band. The initials stand for "Artist and Repertoire." because historically, the A & R staff would select artists to record music that they had also selected, out of an available pool of each. This is still the case, though not openly. These guys are universally young [about the same age as the bands being wooed], and nowadays they always have some obvious underground rock credibility flag they can wave. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Lyle Preslar, former guitarist for Minor Threat, is one of them. Terry Tolkin, former NY independent booking agent and assistant manager at Touch and Go is one of them. Al Smith, former soundman at CBGB is one of them. Mike Gitter, former editor of XXX fanzine and contributor to Rip, Kerrang and other lowbrow rags is one of them. Many of the annoying turds who used to staff college radio stations are in their ranks as well. There are several reasons A & R scouts are always young. The explanation usually copped-to is that the scout will be "hip to the current musical "scene." A more important reason is that the bands will intuitively trust someone they think is a peer, and who speaks fondly of the same formative rock and roll experiences. The A & R person is the first person to make contact with the band, and as such is the first person to promise them the moon. Who better to promise them the moon than an idealistic young turk who expects to be calling the shots in a few years, and who has had no previous experience with a big record company. Hell, he's as naive as the band he's duping. When he tells them no one will interfere in their creative process, he probably even believes it. When he sits down with the band for the first time, over a plate of angel hair pasta, he can tell them with all sincerity that when they sign with company X, they're really signing with him and he's on their side. Remember that great gig I saw you at in '85? Didn't we have a blast. By now all rock bands are wise enough to be suspicious of music industry scum. There is a pervasive caricature in popular culture of a portly, middle aged ex-hipster talking a mile-a-minute, using outdated jargon and calling everybody "baby." After meeting "their" A & R guy, the band will say to themselves and everyone else, "He's not like a record company guy at all! He's like one of us." And they will be right. That's one of the reasons he was hired. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> These A & R guys are not allowed to write contracts. What they do is present the band with a letter of intent, or "deal memo," which loosely states some terms, and affirms that the band will sign with the label once a contract has been agreed on. The spookiest thing about this harmless sounding little memo, is that it is, for all legal purposes, a binding document. That is, once the band signs it, they are under obligation to conclude a deal with the label. If the label presents them with a contract that the band don't want to sign, all the label has to do is wait. There are a hundred other bands willing to sign the exact same contract, so the label is in a position of strength. These letters never have any terms of expiration, so the band remain bound by the deal memo until a contract is signed, no matter how long that takes. The band cannot sign to another laborer or even put out its own material unless they are released from their agreement, which never happens. Make no mistake about it: once a band has signed a letter of intent, they will either eventually sign a contract that suits the label or they will be destroyed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> One of my favorite bands was held hostage for the better part of two years by a slick young "He's not like a label guy at all," A & R rep, on the basis of such a deal memo. He had failed to come through on any of his promises [something he did with similar effect to another well-known band], and so the band wanted out. Another label expressed interest, but when the A & R man was asked to release the band, he said he would need money or points, or possibly both, before he would consider it. The new label was afraid the price would be too dear, and they said no thanks. On the cusp of making their signature album, an excellent band, humiliated, broke up from the stress and the many months of inactivity. There's this band. They're pretty ordinary, but they're also pretty good, so they've attracted some attention. They're signed to a moderate-sized "independent" label owned by a distribution company, and they have another two albums owed to the label. They're a little ambitious. They'd like to get signed by a major label so they can have some security you know, get some good equipment, tour in a proper tour bus -- nothing fancy, just a little reward for all the hard work. To that end, they got a manager. He knows some of the label guys, and he can shop their next project to all the right people. He takes his cut, sure, but it's only 15%, and if he can get them signed then it's money well spent. Anyways, it doesn't cost them anything if it doesn't work. 15% of nothing isn't much! One day an A & R scout calls them, says he's 'been following them for a while now, and when their manager mentioned them to him, it just "clicked." Would they like to meet with him about the possibility of working out a deal with his label? Wow. Big Break time. They meet the guy, and y'know what -- he's not what they expected from a label guy. He's young and dresses pretty much like the band does. He knows all their favorite bands. He's like one of them. He tells them he wants to go to bat for them, to try to get them everything they want. He says anything is possible with the right attitude. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> They conclude the evening by taking home a copy of a deal memo they wrote out and signed on the spot. The A & R guy was full of great ideas, even talked about using a name producer. Butch Vig is out of the question-he wants 100 g's and three points, but they can get Don Fleming for $30,000 plus three points. Even that's a little steep, so maybe they'll go with that guy who used to be in David Letterman's band. He only wants three points. Or they can have just anybody record it (like Warton Tiers, maybe-- cost you 5 or 7 grand] and have Andy Wallace remix it for 4 grand a track plus 2 points. It was a lot to think about. Well, they like this guy and they trust him. Besides, they already signed the deal memo. He must have been serious about wanting them to sign. They break the news to their current label, and the label manager says he wants them to succeed, so they have his blessing. He will need to be compensated, of course, for the remaining albums left on their contract, but he'll work it out with the label himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Sub Pop made millions from selling off Nirvana, and Twin Tone hasn't done bad either: 50 grand for the Babes and 60 grand for the Poster Children-- without having to sell a single additional record. It'll be something modest. The new label doesn't mind, so long as it's recoupable out of royalties. Well, they get the final contract, and it's not quite what they expected. They figure it's better to be safe than sorry and they turn it over to a lawyer--one who says he's experienced in entertainment law and he hammers out a few bugs. They're still not sure about it, but the lawyer says he's seen a lot of contracts, and theirs is pretty good. They'll be great royalty: 13% [less a 1O% packaging deduction]. Wasn't it Buffalo Tom that were only getting 12% less 10? Whatever. The old label only wants 50 grand, an no points. Hell, Sub Pop got 3 points when they let Nirvana go. They're signed for four years, with options on each year, for a total of over a million dollars! That's a lot of money in any man's English. The first year's advance alone is $250,000. Just think about it, a quarter million, just for being in a rock band! Their manager thinks it's a great deal, especially the large advance. Besides, he knows a publishing company that will take the band on if they get signed, and even give them an advance of 20 grand, so they'll be making that money too. The manager says publishing is pretty mysterious, and nobody really knows where all the money comes from, but the lawyer can look that contract over too. Hell, it's free money. Their booking agent is excited about the band signing to a major. He says they can maybe average $1,000 or $2,000 a night from now on. That's enough to justify a five week tour, and with tour support, they can use a proper crew, buy some good equipment and even get a tour bus! Buses are pretty expensive, but if you figure in the price of a hotel room for everybody In the band and crew, they're actually about the same cost. Some bands like Therapy? and Sloan and Stereolab use buses on their tours even when they're getting paid only a couple hundred bucks a night, and this tour should earn at least a grand or two every night. It'll be worth it. The band will be more comfortable and will play better. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> The agent says a band on a major label can get a merchandising company to pay them an advance on T-shirt sales! ridiculous! There's a gold mine here! The lawyer Should look over the merchandising contract, just to be safe. They get drunk at the signing party. Polaroids are taken and everybody looks thrilled. The label picked them up in a limo. They decided to go with the producer who used to be in Letterman's band. He had these technicians come in and tune the drums for them and tweak their amps and guitars. He had a guy bring in a slew of expensive old "vintage" microphones. Boy, were they "warm." He even had a guy come in and check the phase of all the equipment in the control room! Boy, was he professional. He used a bunch of equipment on them and by the end of it, they all agreed that it sounded very "punchy," yet "warm." All that hard work paid off. With the help of a video, the album went like hotcakes! They sold a quarter million copies! Here is the math that will explain just how fucked they are: These figures are representative of amounts that appear in record contracts daily. There's no need to skew the figures to make the scenario look bad, since real-life examples more than abound. income is bold and underlined, expenses are not. </p>
<p> </p>
<table style="width: 350px;" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong>Advance:</strong> </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">$ 250,000</span></strong> </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Manager's cut: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 37,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Legal fees: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 10,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Recording Budget: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 150,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Producer's advance: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 50,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Studio fee: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 52,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Drum Amp, Mic and Phase "Doctors": </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Recording tape: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 8,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Equipment rental: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 5,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Cartage and Transportation: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 5,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Lodgings while in studio: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 10,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Catering: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Mastering: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 10,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Tape copies, reference CDs, shipping tapes, misc. expenses: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 2,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Video budget: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 30,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Cameras: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 8,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Crew: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 5,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Processing and transfers: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Off-line: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 2,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> On-line editing: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Catering: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Stage and construction: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Copies, couriers, transportation: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 2,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Director's fee: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Album Artwork: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 5,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Promotional photo shoot and duplication: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 2,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Band fund: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 15,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> New fancy professional drum kit: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 5,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> New fancy professional guitars [2]: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> New fancy professional guitar amp rigs [2]: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 4,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> New fancy potato-shaped bass guitar: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> New fancy rack of lights bass amp: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Rehearsal space rental: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 500 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Big blowout party for their friends: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 500 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Tour expense [5 weeks]: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 50,875 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Bus: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 25,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Crew [3]: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 7,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Food and per diems: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 7,875 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Fuel: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Consumable supplies: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Wardrobe: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Promotion: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong>Tour gross income:</strong> </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">$ 50,000</span></strong> </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Agent's cut: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 7,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Manager's cut: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 7,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999">
<strong>Merchandising advance:</strong> </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999">
<strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">$ 20,000</span></strong> </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Manager's cut: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Lawyer's fee: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong>Publishing advance:</strong> </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">$ 20,000</span></strong> </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Manager's cut: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 3,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Lawyer's fee: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 1,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Record sales: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> 250,000 @ $12 =<br> $3,000,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Gross retail revenue Royalty: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> [13% of 90% of retail]:<br> $ 351,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Less advance: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 250,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Producer's points: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> [3% less $50,000 advance]:<br> $ 40,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Promotional budget: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 25,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Recoupable buyout from previous label: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 50,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999">
<strong>Net royalty:</strong> </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999">
<strong><span style="text-decoration:underline">$ -14,000</span></strong> </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<hr>
<strong>Record company income:</strong> <br> <br>
</td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Record wholesale price: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $6.50 x 250,000 =<br> $1,625,000 gross income </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Artist Royalties: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 351,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Deficit from royalties: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 14,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Manufacturing, packaging and distribution: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> @ $2.20 per record: $ 550,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Gross profit: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 7l0,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" align="LEFT" valign="TOP">
<hr>
<strong>The Balance Sheet: This is how much each player got paid at the end of the game.</strong> <br> <br>
</td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Record company: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 710,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Producer: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 90,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Manager: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 51,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Studio: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 52,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Previous label: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 50,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Agent: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> $ 7,500 </td>
</tr>
<tr bgcolor="#cccccc">
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> Lawyer: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" bgcolor="#999999"> $ 12,000 </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 300px;" align="LEFT" valign="TOP"> Band member net income each: </td>
<td align="LEFT" valign="TOP">$ 4,031.25 </td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p> </p>
<p> The band is now 1/4 of the way through its contract, has made the music industry more than 3 million dollars richer, but is in the hole $14,000 on royalties. The band members have each earned about 1/3 as much as they would working at a 7-11, but they got to ride in a tour bus for a month. The next album will be about the same, except that the record company will insist they spend more time and money on it. Since the previous one never "recouped," the band will have no leverage, and will oblige. The next tour will be about the same, except the merchandising advance will have already been paid, and the band, strangely enough, won't have earned any royalties from their T-shirts yet. Maybe the T-shirt guys have figured out how to count money like record company guys. Some of your friends are probably already this fucked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Steve Albini is an independent and corporate rock record producer most widely known for having produced Nirvana's "In Utero".</em> </p>
<p><a href="/rantings-ravings" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/48cac0a4c9995f5c6c85e785034f344d31711a99/original/more-rantings-and-ravings.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NjAweDI4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="281" width="600" /></a></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063814
2011-07-04T17:00:00-07:00
2013-11-19T13:19:10-08:00
Signed Donnie "go suck a fuck" Darko
<p>i was watching Donnie Darko once again. i can really appreciate the Jesus narrative. the notion of giving his life so that he can save others, namely Gretchen, but also a few other unsavory characters that definitely needed "saving". </p>
<p><br>i think i re-watch this movie on a regular basis to remind myself of the nature of the world outside, how through its genuinely selfish nature it so often (dis)misses shining light on the givers rather than the takers, the teachers rather than the (mostly ungrateful) students. <br><br>i guess that's why within the context of raw humanity i am so curious about all my fellow "dicks, bitches, cunts, cocks, assholes" & any & all other blessedly titled <strong>NON</strong>-ne're-do-well's who figuratively bleed their indignation towards the others who fall so painfully short of the clearly outlined course requirements of this thing called life & chalk up a variety of charming labels along the way.<br><br>(but) it does reveal this facetious yet rhetorical question:<br><br>is there any more pure irony than a land of takers who are not even worth the air they breathe ??<br><br>they need to add modern America = irony to the next edition of the thesaurus......<br><br>signed yours truly,<br><br>Donnie "go suck a fuck" Darko</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/5268b30cb6cc8c1e97e7289f0f89594ba552dccd/original/darko.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDcweDI5OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="299" width="470" /><br></p>
<p><iframe frameborder="0" height="100" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=3477750178/size=venti/bgcol=000000/linkcol=ccffcc/" style="position: relative; display: block; width: 400px; height: 100px;" width="400"></iframe></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063813
2011-07-03T17:00:00-07:00
2014-01-26T06:36:35-08:00
KLF The Manual How To Have A Number One The Easy Way
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>KLF - The Manual</strong> is the famous book by the <strong>KLF</strong> which describes <strong>how to get a number one hit</strong>. Written by Bill Drummund and Jimmy Cauty, who have become famous as <strong>The KLF</strong>, <strong>The Manual</strong> teaches you everything you'll need to know to be successful in the music business. The printed edition is no longer available, but <strong>you can read The Manual right here, right now</strong>, so enjoy it and learn from it.<br></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/43fc56ceef53cb74dfe8561044ccb17c96dc51df/original/klf.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzM4eDQ2OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="469" width="338" /></p>
<p><br> WE GUARANTEE THAT WE WILL REFUND THE COMPLETE PRICE OF THIS MANUAL IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE A NUMBER ONE SINGLE IN THE OFFICIAL (GALLUP) U.K. CHARTS WITHIN THREE MONTHS OF THE PURCHASE OF THIS MANUAL AND ON CONDITION THAT YOU HAVE FULFILLED OUR INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. TO RECEIVE THIS GUARANTEE PLEASE WRITE TO KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP21 7HG, U.K. WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR PURCHASE RECEIPT AND AN S.A.E. YOU WlLL RECEIVE YOUR GUARANTEE WITHIN TWENTY EIGHT DAYS.<br><br> THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF DON LUCKNOW.<br><br> WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK MARIE O'FLAHERTY FOR HER DEDICATION AND HARD WORK ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY AND WITHOUT WHOM WE WOULD NOT HAVE COMPLETED THIS MANUAL.<br><br> --------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br> THE BEGINNING<br><br> "HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE - THE EASY WAY"<br><br> Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor. Be ready to dip your hands in the lucky bag of life, gather the storm clouds of fantasy and anoint your own genius. Because it is only by following the clear and concise instructions contained in this book that you can realise your childish fantasies of having a Number One hit single in the official U.K. Top 40 thus guaranteeing you a place forever in the sacred annals of Pop History.<br><br> Other than achieving a Number One hit single we offer you nothing else. There will be no endless wealth. Fame will flicker and fade and sex will still be a problem. What was once yours for a few days will now enter the public domain.<br><br> In parts of this manual we will patronise you. In others we will cheat you. We will lie to you but we will lie to ourselves as well. You will, however, see through our lies and grasp the shining truth within. We will trap ourselves in our own pretensions. Our insights will be shot through with distort rays and we will revel in our own inconsistencies. If parts get too boring just fast forward - all the way to the end if need be.<br><br> Now, we all know that pop music is not going to save the world but it does, undeniably, create a filing system for the memory banks. In years to come people will stagger home down lonely streets singing your song to the strains of regurgitated vindaloo, all memory of who was behind the song lost. It is you, though, who will be responsible for bringing back those lost tastes, smells, tears, pangs, forgotten years and missed chances. So enjoy what you can while at Number One.<br><br> People equate a Number One with fame, endless wealth and easy sex - a myth that they want to believe and one that the popular press want to see continued. Along with the soap stars, sporting heroes and selected (however distant) members of the Royal Family, pop stars belong to a glittering world of showbiz parties, at one end of the scale, to illicit liaisons, at the other, where their lives are dragged up, dressed up, made up and ultimately destroyed. The celebrated, of course, are apt to fall into a world of drugs, drink, broken marriages and bankruptcy but even this is given the glamour treatment instead of the squalid misery that it is in reality.<br><br> Basically, a Number One is seen as the ultimate accolade in pop music. Winning the Gold Medal. The crowning glory.<br><br> The majority of Number One's are achieved early on in the artist's public career and before they have been able to establish reputations and build a solid fan base. Most artists are never able to recover from having one and it becomes the millstone around their necks to which all subsequent releases are compared. The fact that a record is Number One automatically means the track is in a very short period of time going to become over exposed and as worthless as last month's catchphrase.<br><br> Once or twice a decade an act will burst through with a Number One that hits a national nerve and the public's appetite for the sound and packaging will not be satisfied with the one record. The formula will be untampered with and the success will be repeated a second, a third and sometimes even a fourth time. The prison is then complete; either the artist will be destroyed in their attempt to prove to the world that there are other facets to their creativity or they succumb willingly and spend the rest of their lives as a travelling freak show, peddling a nostalgia for those now far off, carefree days. These are the lucky few. Most never have the chance of a repeat performance and slide ungracefully into years of unpaid tax, desperately delaying all attempts to come to terms with the only rational thing to do - get a nine to five job.<br><br> Even if the unsuspecting artiste doesn't know the above, rest assured most of the record business does but for some lemming-like reason refuses to acknowledge it. They continue to view the act's cheaply recorded, debut blockbuster as striking gold and will spend the next few years pumping fortunes into studio time, video budgets and tour support whilst praying for a repeat of the miracle and the volume album sales that bring in the real money.<br><br> Of course there are those artists that have worked long and hard building personal artistic confidence, critical acclaim, a loyal following (all strong foundations) and then have a Number One, that is that crowning glory. But even then the disgruntled purists amongst the loyal following desert in disgust at having to share their private club with the unwashed masses.<br><br> So what's left? What's the point? What can be achieved when no great financial rewards or long term career prospects allowing for creative freedom can be hoped for, let alone guaranteed? We don't know.<br><br> If this book succeeds in becoming Bert Weedon's "Play In A Day" for some lost month in the late eighties we will be happy. If anybody actually gets a Number One by following our instructions we promise them a night out with The JAMS in Madagascar. We will arrange everything. For those that might be offended please read all "he's", "hims" and "his"' as "she's", "hers" and "hers"'. Being blokes it was easier writing it the way we did.<br><br> So how do you go about achieving a U.K. Number One? Follow this simple step by step guide:<br><br> Firstly, you must be skint and on the dole. Anybody with a proper job or tied up with full time education will not have the time to devote to see it through. Also, being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run. If you are already a musician stop playing your instrument. Even better, sell the junk. It will become clearer later on but just take our word for it for the time being. Sitting around tinkering with the Portastudio or musical gear (either ancient or modern) just complicates and distracts you from the main objective. Even worse than being a musician is being a musician in a band. Real bands never get to Number One - unless they are puppets.<br><br> If you are in a band you will undoubtedly be aware of the petty squabbles and bitching that develops within them. This only festers and grows proportionately as the band gets bigger and no band ever grows out of it. All bands end in tantrums, tears and bitter acrimony. The myth of a band being gang of lads out "against" the world (read as "to change", "to shag" or "to save the world") is pure wishful thinking to keep us all buying the records and reading the journals. Mind you, it's a myth that many band members want to believe themselves.<br><br> So if in a band, quit. Get out. Now.<br><br> That said, it can be very helpful to have a partner, someone who you can bounce ideas off and vice versa. Any more than two of you and factions develop and you may as well be in politics. There is no place for the nostalgia of the four lads who shook the world or the last gang in town.<br><br> Watch Top of the Pops religiously every week and learn from it. When the time comes it is through T.O.T.P. that you will convince the largest cross section of the British public to go out and buy your record. Remember, Top of the Pops is all powerful and has outlasted all the greats (Cliff being the exception to the rule). Taking the angst-ridden, "I'm above all this!" outsider stance only gets you so far and even then takes sodden years and ends up with you alienating vast chunks of the Great British public who don't want to be confronted with Jim Reid's skin problem on a Thursday evening. I repeat, take Top of the Pops to your bosom and learn to love the platform that matters the most.<br><br> YOU CAN BEGIN ANY SUNDAY EVENING<br><br> You can begin any Sunday evening by listening to Bruno Brookes introducing the Top 40 Show between 4pm and 7pm. You don't have to sit down and dissect and study it, just have it on and make the tea. After that do whatever you do on a Sunday evening but before you go to sleep that night you are going to have to come up with a name for your record company. Nothing too clever or inspired. Something that sounds solid. You just want something that's not going to be offensive and people are going to be happy doing business with.<br><br> Monday morning. Check that the company name that you have chosen is still sound. Be up, dressed and out by 9am. You are going to have to get used to getting up earlier; no lying in until noon now. From now on every time you telephone someone on business remember to give them your name and the company you are from (even though it's only you). Don't bother getting headed note paper. People waste a lot of time, effort and money having stationery produced when getting a new business off the ground. People in the late eighties can see through the smart graphics.<br><br> Spend the remainder of the morning amassing the rest of the tools you will need for the job in hand. These are:<br><br> 1. A record player (the crappier the better as long as it actually works). Mass appeal records can always transcend any apparatus they are played on; the exp ensive set up is only for judging coffee table records.<br><br> 2. Copies of the latest in the series of "Now That's What I Call Music" and "Hits" LPs.<br><br> 3. A couple of the most recent dance compilation LPs ("The Techno Sounds of Dagenham Volume Vl", etc.).<br><br> 4. All the 7" singles in your house that ever made the Top 5. (If there are any other records you want to add to the pile make sure there is a very good reason why they should be there and make sure they were never released as indie records or had any punky associations.)<br><br> 5. A copy of the latest edition of the Guinness Book of British Hit Singles.<br><br> 6. A copy of the Music Week Directory. This you will have to send off for. Address your envelope to: Sylvia Calver, Morgan Grampian Plc, Royal Sovereign House, 40 Beresford Street, London SE18 6BQ (telephone 01-854-2200) with a cheque or postal order for �15.00. It will take about ten days to get to you.<br><br> 7. A hard back note book and a fine point, black ball Pentel.<br><br> If you do not already have any of the above, or are unable to borrow them, then we are afraid you are going to have to spend some real cash. Hopefully, this will be the last time in the whole project that you will have to use up some of your Giro, other than the odd bus fare and phone call.<br><br> If you have a telephone where you live and it hasn't been disconnected yet, great. If not, buy a phone card, the more expensive the better. Using coin operated telephones is crap for the obvious reasons: there are usually queues, are often vandalised and the money runs out thus making you look like an inefficient dick head and not a future Number One. Another useful phone hint: never leave somebody else's flat, house or office without first having made and received at least one call thus spreading your overheads on to some of the people who will enjoy basking in the reflected glory once you are at Number One.<br><br> If you have all that done and it's not yet one o'clock, start listening to the "Hits" and "Now" compilation LPs from end to end. Of course, your conditioned brain will tell you it's all a pile of shite and pale into insignificance compared to the Golden Era in Pop, when you were on the cusp of your adolescent years. Dig deeper into your heart and you will know that you are just lying to yourself. All eras in pop music are golden ages, or will be looked upon as such by the only generation that matters at any given time. Not only are all ages in chart pop equal, chart pop never changes, it only appears to change on its surface level.<br><br> Unwrap pop's layers and what we are left with is the same old plate of meat and two veg that have kept generations of pop pickers well satisfied. The emotional appetite that chart pop satisfies is constant. The hunger is forever. What does change is the technology this is always on the march. At some point in the future science will develop a commodity that will satisfy this emotional need in a more efficient way. There was a period in our own prehistory when Top Tens and Number Ones didn't exist, when tea time on Sunday wasn't synonymous with the brand new chart run down. For the time being we have our Top Tens and Number Ones and while science marches to the beat that will finally destroy it all, it also comes up with the goods that will satisfy our other endless appetite, that of apparent change. All records in the Top Ten (especially those that get to Number One) have far more in common with each other than with whatever genre they have developed from or sprung out of.<br><br> The "cool cats" and hipsters of the early sixties might have thought modern jazz was going to finally break through when "Take Five" made the Hit Parade. The blue rinse brigade feared the downfall of decent society when The Pistols made Number One with "God Save The Queen" or the musos predicted real music was about to die because of the 1988 rash of DJ records. Had you played some free jazz to ninety five per cent of the people who had made "Take Five" a smash, they would have run for cover behind the latest release by Pat Boone. The Pistols might have been swearing on T.V. inciting a generation of kids to "Get pissed! Destroy!" but if "God Save The Queen" had not stuck rigidly to The Golden Rules* (*THESE WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER), The Pistols would never have seen the inside of the Top Ten.<br><br> In certain clubs across our nation in 1988, DJs were playing the latest 12" acid tracks to packed houses of the drugged and delirious. If any of these DJs had any ambitions of following in the paths of Tim Simenon and Mark Moore to the top of the charts they have to acknowledge the fact that what they have learned out there behind their Technics can only provide them with the fashionable icing when it comes to the real action inside the Top Ten and the battle for the Number One slot is on. They must also follow The Golden Rules.<br><br> In our lifetime Great Britain has been pretty good at coming up with or reinterpreting a constant flow of entertaining subcults that young people can either lose or find themselves in. With most of these subcults comes some kind of music. Our cult-hungry media grabs whatever it is and splatters it all over the place. Whatever music makers follow in its wake are bid for by the more desperate sections of the music industry. Once signed, a process will begin in an attempt to transform whatever noise that was made by the ensembles into something that will fit The Golden Rules of chart pop. The process involves plenty of trial and error and huge sums of never seen cash.<br><br> So, if one of these ensembles find themselves in the higher regions of the charts and their sights are set on the Top Spot, their fellow subcult members interpret this as the Walls of Jericho finally crumbling, or at the very least, their boys working as moles from the inside. All that in actual fact has happened is, unwittingly or not, the Golden Rules have been adhered to and the nouvelle subcult has attained maximum media exposure. Although the latest subculture might be useful to give each potential chart record its attitude gloss, it must be remembered that this particular attitude might put as many people off the otherwise perfectly acceptable pop record, as be attracted to it. Another useful hint when it comes to subcult attitude gloss: it often helps not to be purists. Water it down. Sugar it up. Some of the above Tony James understood. Some he most definitely did not.<br><br> Of course, there is another argument; "demands are created and appetites stimulated. Pop music is the worst example of this. There are wicked music moguls cynically manipulating the hearts and minds of young teenagers so as to get them to part with their pocket money." This is a worthless argument pursued by those unlucky ones who have never really been moved by the glories of pop music. They may as well have never been teenagers.<br><br> THE RECORDING STUDIO<br><br> DON'T BE TEMPTED TO SKIP THIS SECTION ON STUDIOS. IT MUST BE READ OVER LUNCH - BEFORE BOOKING YOUR STUDIO.<br><br> The recording studio is the place where you will record your Number One hit single. There are hundreds of recording studios scattered across the country, from the north of Scotland to deepest Cornwall.<br><br> THE STUDIO OWNER<br><br> The majority of studios are privately owned by someone who is actively involved in the running of the place on a daily basis. Very few are owned by the major record companies. These owners are usually very enthusiastic and encouraging types who have a long, broad and deep love of all things musical; often they have been musicians themselves but have decided to knock their days on the road on the head and get into what they hoped would be the more lucrative and stable business of owning a studio. Unfortunately for them, this is usually not the case and they will have to spend the rest of their lives seriously in debt.<br><br> The studio owner will often have a very realistic and pragmatic view of the musical business. He will have been through the mill, r idden the rough ride, seen spotty oiks come into his studio hardly able to roll their own and, within what seems a matter of months, become internationally reknowned and respected musicians whose opinions are eagerly sought on anything from the destruction of the Amazon Rain Forests to the continued subsidy of the local bus service, whilst developing an unhealthy appetite for cocaine.<br><br> A fact that is continually on the studio owner's mind is that there are far more studios flogging studio time than there are clients willing to pay for it. This creates a desperate competition between studios to encourage YOU the client to use them. One outcome of this competition is for the studios to continually get themselves as far into hock as their banks will let them go, enabling them to invest in the latest recording studio hardware. This hardware they hope will act as the bait to get YOU the client to book the studio. It also fulfils a secondary role, that of keeping the studio's eager, young, upwardly mobile engineer loyal to the studio and prevent him defecting to a better equipped rival. We will go further into the intriguing subject of the recording studio engineer later on in this book.<br><br> THE STUDIO MANAGER<br><br> The studio manager (as opposed to the studio owner) is the person who looks after all aspects of the smooth and efficient running of the studio. In smaller studios this is often the owner or he has a personal assistant (P.A.) who handles most of the job for him. In large studios these are usually a breed of highly efficient women whose matriarchal presence can be felt in all areas and at all times.<br><br> ENGINEERS<br><br> There will also be a small posse of recording studio engineers on call, from the tea boy who started last Monday and hasn't been sacked yet, to the senior engineer. All engineers start life as tea boys and are officially called "tape ops" (the person who switches the tape recorders on and off). To put it simply, the recording studio engineer's job is to put the noise that musicians create on tape. Large studios will have a maintenance engineer. If any malfunction occurs with the studio hardware it is his job to get it working again - fast. Smaller studios usually have one on call.<br><br> THE STUDIO<br><br> Studios are in the most unlikeliest of buildings and the most unlikeliest of settings. Although all studios want to attract as much business as possible, they do not want to advertise their presence to local thugs who might fancy breaking in and getting their hands on a few thousand pounds worth of gear.<br><br> The simplest classification given to studios is the amount of tracks their tape machines have. This can be either four, eight, sixteen, twenty four, thirty two or forty eight track studios. Four, eight and sixteen track are only used for making demos these days and demos are a thing of the past. You will find engineers everywhere trying to impress you with the fact that "Sergeant Pepper" was recorded on a four track. This is of course is as relevant as the fact that no JCB's were used in the construction of the Great Pyramid.<br><br> A twenty four track is what you will need for the initial recording, thirty two tracks are still pretty rare. Forty eight tracks are where two twenty four track machines are synchronised together. You might need one of these when it comes to the final mixing stages of your future Number One.<br><br> A twenty four track means that your engineer will be working with a multi-track tape recorder that has twenty four separate tracks on which he can have twenty four individual sounds recorded at any one time. At the mixing stage these twenty four separate sounds will be simultaneously channelled through the mixing desk where all these separate sounds are tampered with and (hopefully) enhanced before being channelled out again and recorded for posterity by a two track (stereo) tape machine. This is THE MASTER TAPE.<br><br> The other common way that recording studios are classified is whether the desk is computer assisted or not. For the initial recording you will only need a manually operated desk. A computer assisted desk is used when the recording reaches the mixing stage and the engineer is having to juggle with a minimum of twenty four tracks simultaneously. The computer will assist by giving the engineer at least an extra twenty two hands and twenty four perfect memories - an obvious added bonus in these techno days.<br><br> SSL (Solid State Logic) is still the most common computer assisted make of desk and still the only one to insist upon. But all that could change in the fast moving world of studio hardware. From now on, we will refer to all computer desks as SSL (it's a bit of a Hoover/ Sellotape situation).<br><br> A traditional recording studio comprises of: THE CONTROL ROOM which houses the mixing desk, tape machines, outboard gear, engineers and producers and THE RECORDING ROOM, full of all sorts of strange things to either deaden the live sound or liven the dead sound. This is where the traditional musician performs. There will also be a recreation room with a television, pool table and computer games to keep musicians amused whilst the traditional producer casts his spells without being hindered by the traditional musicians' paranoid presence.<br><br> In your case all the action will be taking place in the control room. The above scenario is almost quaint, but more of all that later in the "Five Days In A Twenty Four Track Studio" chapter.<br><br> Many of the more successful studios have expanded their complexes so as to contain more than one studio. They might have a number of studios offering a range of services, from four track to forty eight track, SSL and manual and, more than likely nowadays, a programming suite replacing the need for a four/eight/sixteen track demo studio.<br><br> The way that recording studios base their rates (what they want you to pay them) can vary from studio to studio. The standard quoted by each studio is their hourly rate; for twenty four track this can range from �20 per hour to �150 per hour.<br><br> If it were only that simple. The studio manager's only way of proving his worth to the world is by transforming all the great tracts of space on his wall chart calendar pinned to the board above his desk into something that is crammed with blue, yellow, red and green little bits of sticky back paper, each signifying another session booked. (Studio managers will hike round a last year's crowded wall chart calendar as a C.V. when looking for a new job.) This is all good news for you. That studio manager will be willing to offer you all sorts of favourable deals just to prevent a day slipping by without the corresponding box on the calendar not having a coloured sticker on it.<br><br> Deals can be based on:-<br><br> 1. INTRODUCTORY OFFER. This will be an obvious one for you.<br><br> 2. DOWN TIME. This is usually the time between when the official client finishes (usually 2am) and starts again (usually 10am).<br><br> 3. BLOCK BOOKING. This would only happen if a client wanted a month or more to record an LP.<br><br> 4. CANCELLATION TIME. This is when a client has cancelled studio time at the very last minute and the studio is desperate to sell it off.<br><br> 5. REGULAR CUSTOMER RATE. Not applicable to you but just for reference. By the time you use the same studio for the third time you should be trying to pull this one.<br><br> 6. LOCK OUT. This is when, although you may be working in a studio for ten hours a day, the studio cannot sell off the remaining fourteen hours as down time to another client. Most lock out deals are based on them being the equivalent of twelve hours. So, if you were to work for a sixteen hour stretch you would be getting yourself four free hours.<br><br> The more expensive the hourly rate a studio charges the better equipped and flash it will be. You won't need an expensive studio. Expensive studios are for major record companies to put their major (or would-be major) artists in, where they can spend as long as it takes to make their internationally-sounding master work, while the decor and amenities of the place neither challenges their ego or standing in the market place. These establishments and the engineers who work in them are only ever interested in the LP that costs at least �150,000 to make, not a cheeky little record like yours that's going to surprise everybody by getting to Number One. What you want is the moderately priced studio whose gear is intact and where all concerned are as hungry and enthusiastic as you are to prove that they can do it.<br><br> Although a Number One single cannot sound like an indie trash record, they do not have to sound like they have cost a million to make, unlike a Number One LP.<br><br> MONDAY AFTERNOON (BOOK THE STUDIO NOW)<br><br> You are going to need to book five consecutive days lock out in a manual operated (non SSL) desk, twenty four track studio hopefully starting from the following Monday. Your local studios can be tracked down in the Yellow Pages under the "Recording Services/Sound" heading. It should be apparent from the way they list themselves whether they are twenty four track or not. If by chance there are none in your area, get straight down to the local reference library where they will have Yellow Pages covering the whole country. Check the neighbouring regions for studios and get some names down in your note book. If the studio you end up using is further than you can travel to on a daily basis, this will be no problem; all studios are only too willing to organise accommodation as part of the over all deal.<br><br> Before you start dialling make a few notes:-<br><br> 1. Pay no more than �40 per hour (exclusive of VAT) for the basic rates.<br><br> 2. Ensure it includes fees for the best available engineer.<br><br> 3. Be aware that you will also be charged for the tape you use and extra gear that is hired in specially for your session. Remember to get the rates for these.<br><br> If you smoke it's time to light up, then pick up the telephone and dial. Ask for the studio manager. Just remember, the studio manager is going to be out to impress YOU the potential client. They won't be thinking: "Who's this dick head calling up who doesn't know what they're talking about?" They will be too worried that you are thinking they are the total dick head and on that basis will book a rival studio. Give him your name and the company you are from and with the information we have already given you start doing your first deal.<br><br> First checking to see they have the facilities you require, the studio will then try to flog you down time or odd days here and there. Hold firm. You have got to have five clear consecutive days and you want to start the following Monday with their best in-house engineer. If they have not got, or are unable to shift any of their other clients to fit you in, tell them you will have to look elsewhere. They will be getting nervous now, as they might be just about to lose anything from �1,000 to �100,000 worth or business. So, when he says they do have the five consecutive days but not starting until the tenth (or whatever date they quote) tell him to pencil it in ("pencil" means provisionally booked) and you will get back to him in a couple of days to let him know either way. It might be worth having a bit of a chat with him about what other clients they have had in lately. Ask if they have had any hits come out of the studio, that sort of thing. This helps you build up a bit of a vibe where the studio's at. Then call the next studio on your list and repeat the process.<br><br> Once you have got through your list of studios in your local(ish) area go and put the kettle on, take a leak and make yourself a cup of tea (coffee if you have to) as the next move you have to make has no simple ABC answer.<br><br> Between you sipping this cup of tea and getting to Number One you are going to be involved with a lot of people along the way and from all these people you can learn a lot. Whether they are just a tea boy or an international super star you bump into down at TV. Centre while doing Top of the Pops, everybody involved in this music game has some sort of insight or angle on it all. Listen to what they all have to say but take nothing as gospel; you are going to have to start building up your own picture of how it all moves.<br><br> When you do meet people that have had some sort of success it will be natural for you to feel impressed and give a lot more credence to what they have to say, rather than to what the tea boy says. Just remember that they in reality will have very little genuine idea of how they arrived at their success or what they should be doing next in their career to prevent it from crashing to the ground. Under what might seem their confident exterior will be lurking a severe paranoia that they will be found out for what they are, a charlatan with a series of lucky breaks. With all these people you meet you must make them feel involved and that you respect their opinion and help. Everybody likes to feel part of a success and you must let them feel that. In doing this we are not trying to encourage you into becoming an obsequious slimey toad, but to make you aware that the enthusiasm and goodwill of all these people is vital to the success of your project. They deserve your respect.<br><br> At times you will be told things, given advice that goes against the grain of the way you have already been thinking. Your gut reaction might be "Sod that! I know what I'm doing!" So before blurting out your condemnation of their ideas, let it filter through you; don't try and over rationalise or look for the logical answer. Let it simmer for a bit and then go with your now more balanced gut reaction.<br><br> Don't hide behind any naive "no compromise" shields, the only thing you must not compromise on is your final goal: that Olympian slot on Top of the Pops.<br><br> Only YOU can make each decision along the way. Don't look for others to make them for you. If something goes wrong remember you are the only one who is ultimately responsible.<br><br> When you have drunk your tea and had a look out the window (just to check the world is still there) you are going to have to decide which of the possible studios you are going to commit to. That decision should not just be based on the studio that can offer you the five consecutive days the earliest and at the best rate. All that should be balanced with something in the tone of the studio manager's voice. The one that sounds understanding. The one that you feel could be on YOUR side. Then make your telephone call and confirm your booking. If it is now after 3pm and you have your studio booked, switch on Radio One and listen to "Steve Wright In The Afternoon". Viewed from a certain angle the man is a genius. Find that angle and view. He is the most popular DJ in the country. He has been the heartbeat of the British psyche since 1985. You don't even have to like him to be awed by him.<br><br> This above paragraph is not an attempt at obvious irony, it is for real. If you can't find that angle then I am afraid you have wasted your money in buying this manual.<br><br> Spend the rest of the afternoon doing whatever you do that gets your mind rolling: a bus ride into town, a stride across the moors, a burn up on the freeway, two hours on the circle line, (whatever it is) and let your mind ponder on two topics: MONEY and A GROUP NAME.<br><br> There will be a group name that will be the obvious one for you. Nothing too long winded or desperately clever, but at the same time one that is just right for the times we live in. Don't try too hard, just let it float up. The other topic, MONEY, we have dedicated the next chapter to.<br><br> MONEY<br><br> Money is a very strange concept. There will be points in the forthcoming months when you might not have the change in your pockets to get the bus into town at the same time as you are talking to people on the telephone in terms of tens of thousands of pounds. Some of the following might seem contradictory but in matters of money they often are. We spoke earlier of how being on the dole gives you a clearer vision of how society works. What it doesn't do is give you a clear idea of how money works.<br><br> After you spend any time on the dole you either resign yourself to the economic level your life is at and cope - or things start to slide. The rent gets into the arrears. The electricity goes unpaid. The gas board threatens to cut you off. When this starts happening a paranoia begins creeping in telling you modern society is geared to working against the individual and YOU in particular. The late eighties reaction to this is invariably to realise that the only way out is for you to become suddenly very rich and none of this will matter any more. You will start to fantasise about becoming very wealthy and how very shortly it will happen to you. You only have to make the smart move, find the right key, make the right contact, be discovered for what you are. Your fantasy will be fuelled by everything.<br><br> Nobody wins the pools. There is no such thing as a fast buck. Nobody gets rich quick. El Dorado will never be found. Wealth is a slow build, an attitude to life. I'm afraid the old adage that if you look after the pennies the pounds will look after themselves is always true. That said, you must be willing to risk everything - that's everything you haven't got as well as you have got - or nothing will happen.<br><br> The reason we say all that stuff above about "there is no such thing as a fast buck" is because we are bombarded with information about eternally adolescent pop stars who have just done deals worth "this much" or have just grossed "that much" on their last U.S. tour. Firstly, the figures quoted (if true) are always the gross sums, not what's left after all the necessary expenses have been taken into account. Secondly they will be encouraged - even pressurised - into adopting life-styles that will eat through whatever is left of the vast sums that have been quoted at us in no time at all. Unless they are able to sustain or repeat at regular intervals their quoted financial luck they will soon be back to a no money situation. We are afraid those on the dole who have let their rent go into arrears, their electricity go unpaid and with the creeping paranoia about this evil society, will be the same ones who if they were to achieve sudden wealth would in no time at all be owing insurmountable back debts to the tax man, have managers demand their percentage long after the money was spent and swapping their paranoia about society for paranoia peppered with bitterness that they had been "ripped off" all the way along the line. Money, as often quoted, is not the root of all evil. We do know WHAT the root of all evil is. That is to be explained in one of our future manuals and if we were to tell you the answer now you would not bother trying to have a Number One.<br><br> We do not expect this chapter on money to have fulfilled in any direct, practical way in making the Number One slot but it might have helped dispel any illusions you might have had.<br><br> BANKS AND THEIR DIRECT AND PRACTICAL FUNCTIONS<br><br> Our age will be remembered in the future as a period in history when banks went to ridiculous and unparalleled lengths to compete with each other to win the allegiances of the young and account free. If future historians were to base their research on what young Britain was like in the late eighties solely on the substance of bank adverts, you would definitely be rated as the most despicable types since we were kicked out of the Garden.<br><br> So please, if you do take any notice of the bank and money ads - forget it. That said, we are afraid you are going to need a bank account and the better the relationship you can develop with your bank the easier things will be. Our relationships with banks have always been fraught with difficulties.<br><br> Banks are in the business of making money by lending it. The more they lend the more they make. They want us, the punter, to become addicted for life to the false sense of security it gives us. Banks will go to extremes thinking up new and ingenious ways of getting us to borrow money from them. First and foremost they want us to get into property: "Buy a house," because with your property as security they can always lend you more and more money. If things were to go badly wrong and you weren't able to keep up the interest payments they can always force you out of house and home and get their money back that way.<br><br> Of course, it would be bad for the banks if they were seen to be throwing too many families onto the street or forcing business' to the wall in order to redeem their loans. They would always prefer to lend more money so as to help pay off the interest on the earlier loans. Banks have spent millions over the past few years trying to destroy the public's old impression of the bank manager in bowler, brolly and pinstripe, to the approachable and amiable sort of chap who will attempt at all times to say "Yes!". They have only done this, not because they like being nicer, but to seduce you into coming in and borrowing more money. Remember, when you are going in to see a bank manager you're going to see a pusher; a pusher dealing in one of the purest, most addictive drugs - money.<br><br> If for some reason you already have some property (or have a family who are foolish enough to indulge your wilder whims and provide you with collateral) you will be at a disadvantage. As you sit there in the sucker's seat in the manager's office he will smell the scent of securities. He will be checking your wrist veins to sink his syringe in and all the time he will be telling you about the Genesis CD he has just bought or how you would never guess it, but he used to be a punk and stills treasures his copy of "Neat Neat Neat" by the Damned.<br><br> So it is best to go in there skint and with no securities. Of course there is no point in asking to borrow any money. Just put yourself in the bank manager's position; some unlikely youth comes in, looking like nothing in their ad campaigns and makes some outrageous request for a �20,000 unguaranteed loan to finance the making of a Number One hit single. Would you let them have the money? If this lad were to start brandishing a copy of this publication by The Timelords, you would advise him that he had been had and should get a refund on the book instantly before going out to look for an available vacancy on a youth training scheme.<br><br> As we said in the introductory chapter having no money sharpens the wits. Forces you never to make the wrong decision. There is no safety net to catch you when you fall.<br><br> If you already have an account with a bank make the appointment with the manger or his assistant. If not, get into any branch (the nearest to where you live will do as long as it's one of the big five). Open a current account and make that appointment. Do this on Monday afternoon while you're out and about. The appointment should be for some time that week. Just tell them you are setting up a small, independent record label - no big plans yet, just aiming to put out the one single and see how it goes. Tell him there will be a couple of times when you will have to issue cheques before others have come in. No big stuff. You will let him know beforehand. The most important thing is to get a rapport going with him; attempt to keep him in touch with what is happening over the next few weeks.<br><br> As well as having the pusher's instincts, the bank manager has the instincts of the old mother hen. The small business accounts are his baby chicks and he loves to watch them grow. If you were to go in and try and convince him of world domination plans he could only be disappointed with whatever results you had. It is necessary that he should feel part of it all when everything starts to take off. It will be then that you will need his serious help. It will be then that you will have to find �17,000 by the end of the week and there is no sight of anything coming in until the beginning of the next month.<br><br> MONDAY EVENING<br><br> Spend Monday evening around at some mate's house. See if he has any records worth borrowing. More importantly, tell him what you are up to and see if he has any great ideas worth using. It is a little known fact but when it comes to creative ideas the majority of people are creative geniuses. Your mate is bound to be one of them. It's just that all these folks never dare to translate their creative brilliance into reality. We guess a couple of libraries could be filled with the reasons why they never attempt it. Something to do with mother and when she first said, "No!"<br><br> That night, don't forget to set the alarm for 8am the next morning. Before you do whatever it is you do before you go to sleep, see what group names are beginning to float up (mates are also a great source of group names).<br><br> TUESDAY MORNING<br><br> The history of pop music has been littered with all sorts of unlikely people plucked from obscurity and chucked on top of the heap. Pop music would be thrown out of the Showbiz Ball if it could not provide its full quota of rags-to-riches stories. We have all heard the old tale about how it was the downtrodden working class background that provided the true grit passion in the artist's work that won the hearts and minds of the masses. The other side of the same coin is that it is because of the down trodden and working class background that the smart middle class machine was able to unwittingly, maybe, but ruthlessly all the same exploit these raw and gullible talents to the full. With each new generation in pop music there comes along some sort of revolution where supposedly the kids are able to get up and do it for themselves: skiffle bands, protest singers, beat groups, punk rockers, U2 and Casio kids. Of course, the kids do very little for themselves. They might believe they are. Their public are encouraged to believe they are. All that is happening is that the new young, waving fields of corn are allowed to grow full and ripe before a very strange combined harvester will come along and pick the few lucky ears of corn while the rest of the field cheer, whither and die. A new harvest is always needed. 1988 saw the latest wou~d-be revolution happen in pop music.<br><br> The DJ, with his pair of Technics and box of records can make it to the top with a little help from a sample machine, squiggly bass line and beat box. Yet again this was interpreted as the masses finally liberating the means of making music from all the undesirables and now terminally unhip. These records were reportedly made for very little money. The common ingredient these records had that was far more important than the icing of "Now" style that covers the age old Golden Rules of Pop, is that they are being made by complete unknowns. No hype. No massive record company advances. No front covers in the rock papers. No loyal following built up over months of solid touring. They have all been released by what is commonly known as Indie record labels (however, this is not the place to define indie). Since the rise of the indie label in the days of post-punk they have provided a healthy means for no hopers, outsiders and terminally angry types to unload their angst. They have also proved rich hunting grounds for the major record companies looking for fresh meat.<br><br> The indie record companies were cottage industries fuelled by enthusiasm, passion and belief. Some grew, became strong and established international links, whilst others withered and died. The strong ones were able to provide plafforms for the artists who were able to build up large and loyal followings to develop and prosper, even have moderate hit single success. The Smiths and New Order on Rough Trade and Factory respectively were the obvious champions in this.<br><br> It was always understood that it was only the major record companies that had the infrastructure, the money, the efficiency, the might, the power and the means of persuasion to take singles all the way to THE TOP. Like the giants of Fleet Street weighed down by ancient union agreements and strapped to out of date means of production, the major record companies are beginning to look like lumbering dinosaurs.<br><br> Over the past ten years anybody with overtly commercial material would never have considered using the indie network. Everybody with an eye on the Top Spot knew that the indie scene was for the spotty and marginal and people who celebrated the glories of being spotty and marginal. The majors were secure in their knowledge of this.<br><br> All through these years, alongside the scratchy and austere indie labels, has grown what might be termed the independent service industries, providing services that previously only the majors could command: numerous pluggers, publicists, sales forces and, most important of all, reliable and comprehensive distribution. All of these independent service industries are now highly organised and competing to cut deals with YOU the much sought after client. Each of these individual services will have a section dedicated to their own peculiar practices.<br><br> However efficient and organised these service industries became, they could only do so much with the spotty and marginal. But it was only a matter of time before something came along from within the indie scene that was neither "spotty" nor "marginal" and had definite mass appeal. That record was "Pump Up The Volume" by MARRS. It was a turning point. That record not only became Number One in the UK it became an international smash.<br><br> The "indie scene" in this country since then has been filled with a new found confidence: everything can be achieved. It was as if having a Number One single was the last bastion of the majors. Certain cynics will point fingers and whinge that the indies of today will be just the majors of tomorrow. Wasn't Richard Branson and his Virgin Records the ultimate hippy ideal in the early seventies? We won't deny that behind the majority of indie labels is a would-be Branson, whose stunted megalomania will undoubtedly be reflected on the way he brings up his children.<br><br> From now on, whether or not the technology makes the traditional musician's craft redundant, the young creative type will become more aware that he is able to control more areas of the way his music is communicated to the masses. The manipulation of this control will become a very important creative form of expression in itself.<br><br> Of course there is a place for the major record company in the future as there is still a place for brass bands, large national orchestras and Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. The precise function the major record companies will play in the music business as we turn the corner into the 21 st century is something we are not going to bother guessing at. One thing they and we suppose all major international companies are good at is moving the goal posts; probably because they owned them in the first place.<br><br> As more and more creators of music begin to realise that it is possible to make records themselves and steer those records in whatever direction they want, at the same time as retaining all the copyright in the product thus a bigger chunk of the action, the attractiveness of signing your soul and its products away from now to eternity (well at least fifty years after the day you die) will become to look rather silly. Nothing to do with ideology, just straight forward business sense.<br><br> Twenty five years ago no unknown artist signing to a major record company would dare demand the right to only record their own material. The success of the Beatles changed that. In the past ten years it has become the trend for the writer (of songs) to retain the copyright of their work and either just get the publishers to administrate it, or have their own accountants do the lot.<br><br> If the rise of the UK indie label can be seen as a positive offspring of punk sensibilities, a very negative one was the cult of the very big advance. This can be traced back to the supposed situationalist shenanigans of Malcolm McClaren. The idea that the major record companies were some how being ripped off and some clever scam was being pulled was totally false. There was no Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle. The four living ex-members of the band have nothing left except fading memories of their glory days, like fuddled old soldiers; a front man trapped by his own cynicism and a corpse forever young. While the record companies and publishers involved are still getting bigger and stronger and the employees are busy negotiating their next rise over the expense account lunch. It's as if Malcolm never understood Faust.<br><br> Another point that we can throw in at this juncture is that down through the history of pop music the cult of the svengali figure has often risen. Svengalis might be very interesting characters but invariably make bad businessmen. They spend too much of their time cultivating their own image and coping with their own creative urges. We repeat, it has only been possible since the beginning of 1988 to single-handedly achieve what this manual is all about. The myth of the major label deal is totally blown. Their might and power is too slow moving. Their seduction techniques threadbare and dated. The barn door cannot be closed. While the new technology might be the downfall of any kinds of standards in the world of television, in both printing and music the future is ours.<br><br> JUST AFTER 1 PM TUESDAY<br><br> Just after 1 pm Tuesday telephone the studio that you have booked and tell them you are going to need someone who can programme, ideally a programmer who can play the keyboards. Every studio can get one for you. This programmer is going to be the person who will provide sample, originate, compute, even play all the music you will need on your record. They usually have a boffin's mentality mixed with the talent of a musical wizard. We are afraid they will not be included in the price of the studio, but the studio manager should be able to sort out the going rate for you and cut the deal with him. Get him booked for the full five days.<br><br> Have a spot of lunch and read the following chapter. It will allay any doubts you might have in your talents as a hit song writer and explains the Golden Rules. Between now and next Monday morning you are going to have to come up with the goods. Those goods are out there waiting for you to find before the others get there.<br><br> THE GOLDEN RULES<br><br> Leiber and Stoller, Goffin and King, Berry Gordy, Chinn and Chapman and Peter Waterman have all understood the Golden Rules thoroughly. The reason why Waterman will not continue churning out Number Ones from now until the end of the century and the others had only limited reigns, was not because lady luck's hand strayed elsewhere or that fashion moved on, it is because after you have had a run of success and your coffers are full, keeping strictly to the G.R.'s is boring. It all becomes empty and meaningless. Some have become emotionally or business wise embroiled with artists whose own ambitions now lie elsewhere and far from merely having Number One's. Lieber and Stoller could walk into a studio tomorrow and have a world wide Number One in three months if they were so motivated.<br><br> The basic Golden Rules as far as they apply to writing a debut single that can go to Number One in the U.K. Charts are as follows: Do not attempt the impossible by trying to work the whole thing out before you go into the studio. Working in a studio has to be a fluid and creative venture but at all times remember at the end of it you are going to have to have a 7" version that fulfils all the criteria perfectly. Do not try and sit down and write a complete song. Songs that have been written in such a way and reached Number One can only be done by the true song writing genius and be delivered by artists with such forceful convincing passion that the world HAS TO listen. You know the sort of thing, "Sailing" by Rod Stewart, "Without You" by Nilsson What the Golden Rules can provide you with is a framework that you can slot the component parts into.<br><br> Firstly, it has to have a dance groove that will run all the way through the record and that the current 7" buying generation will find irresistible. Secondly, it must be no longer than three minutes and thirty seconds (just under 3'20 is preferable). If they are any longer Radio One daytime DJs will start fading early or talking over the end, when the chorus is finally being hammered home - the most important part of any record. Thirdly, it must consist of an intro, a verse, a chorus, second verse, a second chorus, a breakdown section, back into a double length chorus and outro. Fourthly, lyrics. You will need some, but not many.<br><br> CAUSALITY PLUS A PINCH OF MYSTICISM<br><br> It is going to be a construction job, fitting bits together. You will have to find the Frankenstein in you to make it work. Your magpie instincts must come to the fore. If you think this just sounds like a recipe for some horrific monster, be reassured by us, all music can only be the sum or part total of what has gone before. Every Number One song ever written is only made up from bits from other songs. There is no lost chord. No changes untried. No extra notes to the scale or hidden beats to the bar. There is no point in searching for originality. In the past, most writers of songs spent months in their lonely rooms strumming their guitars or bands in rehearsals have ground their way through endless riffs before arriving at the song that takes them to the very top. Of course, most of them would be mortally upset to be told that all they were doing was leaving it to chance before they stumbled across the tried and tested. They have to believe it is through this sojourn they arrive at the grail; the great and original song that the world will be unable to resist.<br><br> So why don't all songs sound the same? Why are some artists great, write dozens of classics that move you to tears, say it like it's never been said before, make you laugh, dance, blow your mind, fall in love, take to the streets and riot? Well, it's because although the chords, notes, harmonies, beats and words have all been used before their own soul shines through; their personality demands attention. This doesn't just come via the great vocalist or virtuoso instrumentalist. The Techno sound of Detroit, the most totally linear programmed music ever, lacking any human musicianship in its execution reeks of sweat, sex and desire. The creators of that music just press a few buttons and out comes - a million years of pain and lust.<br><br> We await the day with relish that somebody dares to make a dance record that consists of nothing more than an electronically programmed bass drum beat that continues playing the fours monotonously for eight minutes. Then, when somebody else brings one out using exactly the same bass drum sound and at the same beats per minute (B.P.M.), we will all be able to tell which is the best, which inspires the dance floor to fill the fastest, which has the most sex and the most soul. There is no doubt, one will be better than the other. What we are basically saying is, if you have anything in you, anything unique, what others might term as originality, it will come through whatever the component parts used in your future Number One are made up from.<br><br> Creators of music who desperately search originality usually end up with music that has none because no room for their spirit has been left to get through. The complete history of the blues is based on one chord structure, hundreds of thousands of songs using the same three basic chords in the same pattern. Through this seemingly rigid formula has come some of the twentieth century's greatest music. In our case we used parts from thrcc very famous songs, Gary Glitter's "Rock 'n' Roll", "The Doctor Who Theme" and the Sweet's "Blockbuster" and pasted them together, neither of us playing a note on the record. We know that the finished record contains as much of us in it as if we had spent three months locked away somewhere trying to create our master-work. The people who bought the record and who probably do not give a blot about the inner souls of Rockman Rock or King Boy D knew they were getting a record of supreme originality.<br><br> Don't worry about being accused of being a thief. Even if you were to, you have not got the time to take the trial and error route.<br><br> The simplest thing to do would be to flick through your copy of the Guinness Book of Hits, find a smash from a previous era and do a cover of it, dressing it up in the clothes of today. Every year there is at least a couple of artists who get their debut Number One this way. From the eighties we have already had:<br><br> Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin "It's My Party" Roxy Music "Jealous Guy" Soft Cell "Tainted Love" Paul Young "Wherever I Lay My Hat" Captain Sensible "Happy Talk" Neil "Hole In My Shoe" Tiffany "I Think We're Alone Now" Wet Wet Wet "With A Little Help" Yazz "The Only Way Is Up"<br><br> There are, however, the negative facts in taking this route. Using an already proven song can give you a false sense of security when you are in the studio recording. You can end up under the illusion that the song is such a classic that whatever you do, the song itself will be able to carry it through. You tend to loose your objectivity in the production of your version. The all important radio producers hate nothing more than a classic song covered badly.<br><br> The classic oldy, while fulfilling all the Golden Rules in pop, might have a lyrical content that may only ever relate to one period in pop history. There have been numerous past Number One's where this has been the case:<br><br> Scott McKenzie "San Francisco" The Beach Boys "Good Vibrations" The Beatles "All You Need Is Love" Mott The Hoople "All The Young Dudes" MARRS "Pump Up the Volume"<br><br> Unless there is a revival of the zeitgeist of times past where the lyric in some way makes sense again, these songs should be stayed well clear of.<br><br> Sometimes, almost the opposite can happen. By covering a cleverly picked old song it can be re-recorded in such a way that it is now more relevant to today's new record buyers, both lyrically and musically, than the original was to the past generations of hit makers. Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" and Yazz's "The Only Way Is Up" are both perfect examples of this in 1988. The original of "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tommy Roe and the late seventies cover by The Rubinoos were classics for the discerning but could not compete in the U.K. market place of their day.<br><br> The other negative in doing a cover version is you loose all the writing credit. That means you will earn no publishing money on the record, however many it sells. We will explain later the mysteries of publishing, but for now just take it from us that having a Number One with a cover, as opposed to your own song, is the equivalent of throwing away a minimum of �10,000.<br><br> There is no denying that in picking the right smash from the past and recording it well will result in a sure fire success. The producers of the day time shows at Radio One will have to only hear 30 the opening bars of your record to know that there will be a few slots in their shows for it; "the housewives at home and the husbands on the building site" will be singing along with it immediately. It's not going to take them three or four listens before they decide whether they like the song. That decision was made long before you ever thought of having a Number One. As for the current 7" single buying generation who might have never heard the song before, they will automatically be given the to hear the record three or four times on the radio.</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/43fc56ceef53cb74dfe8561044ccb17c96dc51df/original/klf.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzM4eDQ2OSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="469" width="338" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063804
2011-06-20T17:00:00-07:00
2011-06-25T09:11:32-07:00
Made In (anywhere but) America
<p><strong>comments are disabled</strong></p>
<p>Americans should look at the tags on their clothes right now....mine say:<br><br>SHIRT: made in Mexico<br>PANTS: Hong Kong<br>JACKET: Taiwan<br>BOOTS: China<br><br>they should make it a point to look at the tags of everything else too<br><br>little is made here anymore<br><br>(&) that includes originality</p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063803
2011-06-09T17:00:00-07:00
2016-04-02T20:04:44-07:00
SlutWalk commentary
<p><strong>quick point:</strong> I think part of the stereotype of who & who is not a “slut” is perpetuated by women more than ever as well. The typical body type out there is AT LEAST 15-20 pounds heavier & when I see deliberate rule/game changers like Dove’s campaign for “real” beauty I know that means I’m at the crosswalk for the next set of insecurity-based societal issues….so the more those women cover up the more the other women are going to appear “uncovered”. I’ve seen it time & time again where just being desired in any way shape or form is grounds for being a “slut” at this point. It was not so generally like that 15-20 years ago: not even close.</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/a70ce0f87e5d596d22c1d56c5c85963f6445ee15/original/slutwalk.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NTAweDM4MSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="381" width="500" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063854
2011-05-31T17:00:00-07:00
2015-11-12T20:40:11-08:00
the JUST LIKE ME factor
<p></p>
<p>We desperately need more originality more potent unique voices especially in this Facebook era where the <strong>YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME</strong> factor derails those concepts by which "popularity" has been confused with "you're not much more interesting than i am...therefore not a threat...so i will support you".<br><br>Ever wonder why so many bands are so ugly now ???<br><br>Just look at the audience.<br><br><strong>chicka-BOOM !!!!!!!!!!!!</strong></p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/8245d24f2c4ca7c833173bd5cf974722b63331ca/original/dinsmoor.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzAweDM2NiJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="366" width="300" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063850
2011-05-12T17:00:00-07:00
2016-04-02T20:00:44-07:00
Just Like A Bad Corporation
<p><strong>a</strong>o often we hear all this shit about corporations this corporations that because for most people they have nothing more interesting to say. in other words that's just where all the other sheep happened to be walking while they were playing the "rebel" (too bad they forget their director yells CUT at some point) & they quickly fall back into who they really are.</p>
<p><br>the true irony is that most people are EXACTLY like one of the newer corporate business models in that they do not produce ANY products they produce "brand meaning". another way to say it is the "dissemination of their idea of themselves" is their product. yet another way to say it is they literally do close to NOTHING with their lives. it's SO simple to measure. does the "product" of them stick around when they die or do they just become the next round of anonymous bug food ???<br><br>see how simple that was ?????<br><br>ENTER SITES LIKE FACEBOOK = purr-fect tool for the useless to pull this off a.k.a. pretend like they're accomplishing something ANYTHING of any lasting value<br><br>for the smarter ones who really get that just think about it: the "dissemination of their idea of themselves" is their product. that's the jigsaw puzzle piece that fits PERFECTLY with the present-day internet whore....that's small town white trash with 2,000 "friends" in a nutshell whereby they require an enormously invasive presence & project to find a place in the market.....just like a bad corporation.....like a bunch of bumbling balding fossil fools in suits desperately trying to play the super duper great BIG boss except in the heartland 'o cousin fuckin'.<br><br><strong>I LOVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!</strong><br><br>For a big wad of dough my marketing company will come up with the perfect slogan</p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/e727885a4aefd41ec9e2c975108935fcad8c335e/original/fb.png/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6NDE1eDI3MCJd.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="270" width="415" /></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063849
2011-05-02T17:00:00-07:00
2011-05-03T16:50:12-07:00
2 + 2 = 5 with these idiots
<p><strong>comments are disabled</strong></p>
<p>here's a simple analogy of how propaganda & spin works in modern America: it goes something no make that EXACTLY like this.<br><br>the U.S. government reports that John Smith, a hero to all who knew him even though not one person who knew him will be reported saying anything about him, chokes to death on Jello in an apparent "terrorist attack" by some dark-haired man with a frizzy beard wearing some sort of cloth on his head & body along with any pair of dirty worn-out sandals. they'll show a picture of this foreign man but unlike Kirstie Alley's fat ass on Dancing With The Stars each week we will be unable to ever positively identify who this man is, where he works, where his address can be found in a phone book or some other public record, that his given name matches the photograph provided, or as a general public verify that this person is actually still living, breathing, & roaming the earth somewhere anywhere. even though we'll be able to find out with ease who Ms. Alley might have been dating that week we'll never see any wife or children or parents or any friend who might speak out to defend this man. Not ONE. we will never see ONE person who will verify that this man ever existed....not even that one nosey neighbor that comes out & says, "I always knew he was a crazy fuck...there was something not right about him....he tried to choke <strong>ME </strong>with jello once but i escaped like a ninja" " etc etc etc even though this same American public has even seen Jeffrey Dahmer's poor helpless conservative parents step up to the plate & give up their anonymity in defense of their butt-fuckin' dick-suckin' cannibalistic serial killer son. perhaps we are to assume that foreign man is one of those loner rebel without a cause "can't be tied down to one bird" (with dick swingin') middle-eastern bachelors that are all-too-common these days.<br><br>now beyond ALL THAT independent scientific food experts will universally report that regardless of whether the man in the picture is a terrorist or not.......that no man, woman, child, or any living creature in the history of man has ever died choking to death on jello. they'll break down the weak consistency of jello while comparing it to the strength of human throat muscles & render this an absolute impossibility. they'll show statistics & graphs to help highlight their findings for the general public. they'll express that YES you will cough like a mother fucker like when 7-UP goes down the wrong tube but it could never be fatal. in their logical educated minds they will conclude that at least THAT part of the story is absolutely false & provide that free information for the public at large doing so on their own time with no motive for profit or glory.<br><br>[meanwhile at the social networking sites] every nobody loser in North America (with no original material of their own) is already pontificating on what "we" should do to the bearded man that doesn't exist & what a hero non-existent John Smith is on cyber repeat of course sending out their they-don't-even-go-to-church "prayers" & "thoughts" for his "family" & "loved ones" & whatever other meaningless emtpy bullshit that will get them a bunch of "like"'s from all the other nobodies just like them who have nothing original to say either. a small percentage of wiser souls on these sites will express their doubts regarding the story of course receiving zero "like"'s from all the nobodies. the nobodies will do their convenient math & think that because they're part of the worthless mass a.k.a. the bulk of this nation that the numbers do not lie i.e. the largest number always wins i.e. they MUST be right & of course ANYONE expressing ANYTHING but their exact empty drivel is wrong. then they'll take it a step further suggesting that anyone who does not believe that John Smith died from choking on jello is an unpatriotic un-American loudmouth traitor with a poor attitude & a wild sense of imagination: this coming from a majority that barely made it out of high school & have problems following instructions on putting together an entertainment center or setting the time on their DVD player...that is if they're not already busy on the Maury Povich show trying to figure out which guy on their high school football team fathered their 2-year-old (& maybe the 3-year-old too) because the last 4 times they were on the show they went home (still) clueless.<br><br>& before they know it enough days will go by that they will forget the whole ordeal & move on to the next piece of drama at hand in between time spent with their ugly spouse, their shitty job, & their loser offspring. <br><br>2 + 2 = 5 with these idiots</p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063848
2011-04-29T17:00:00-07:00
2011-05-01T16:52:48-07:00
My Own Short Attention Span Theatre
<p><strong>comments are disabled</strong></p>
<p>i've really REALLY enjoyed my time alone this year. i'm living alone for the 1st time in years. i've lived a higher more privileged existence this year more than any other in the last 10 years of my adult life. i honestly want for so little. i'm lucky like that at this point. <br><br>it's SO nice (especially) on the weekends when i can just shut the door, lock the deadbolt, & do whatever i want whenever i want. there's no empty bitch around who needs attention or booze or whatever easy-way-out vices used to "pretend" we're having "fun". i can paint. i can listen to whatever music i want. watch whatever i want. like tonight: i watched a couple shows on Lennon in NYC & another about the effect the Beatles had on Russian youth. Then i continued working on a new portrait i've been painting while finally having the opportunity to listen to the last Killing Joke album which i've had forever but have been listening-wise pre-occupied elsewhere....then mixed a couple of my new tracks & watched this PBS Warhol thing i've probably seen 50 times but can never get enough of. All the while i don't have to worry about whatever 3-ring circus the typical cunts need around them to feel like they're not "boring" (when they're boring as FUCK of course).<br><br>these are the days when i soberly look up at the 5-10 untouched bottles of booze standing above my kitchen cabinet & realize how much more they're there for everyone else...so when one of my night prowlers rings my buzzer at 4 in the morning i have a proper libation for their (already drunk) ass....& of course they know this because i'm the one who's always prepared like a boy scout in such matters. <br><br>it's ironic how long i suffered through a horrible personal relationship & trying to make Strap-On Sweetie work with people that it wouldn't work with & once i got rid of both of those pariahs: i've lived like a fucking king & am happier & more monied than ever. it's dark except for the red bulbs that illuminate it & except for the ocassional visit from my cat it's peaceful & silent & requires ZERO maintenance....in fact when the streets quiet down i can hear the waves of the lake crashing onshore & that's all i need.<br></p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063846
2011-04-18T17:00:00-07:00
2023-10-16T07:55:23-07:00
Leading the bull (dykes) to the slaughter
<p><strong>O</strong>K let's 1st dispense with the usual disclaimer: there's no gay-bashing here so read on before you stick those self-righteous ploys in your gloryhole & suck 'em (watch the teeth). </p>
<p><br>violence in America is actually decreasing in every group except for one:<br><br>teenage to early 20-something <span style="text-decoration:underline"><strong>GIRLS</strong></span><br><br>i don't think it takes any deeply prophetic mind to understand why it's that way. when it's not polite to hit a lady meets we're not raising "ladies" anymore there's bound to be abuses of power. that's like leaving the keys to the vault on the front steps after closing & wondering why you return to the scene of a crime the next morning. or how about it's like a bunch of kids sitting on their asses all day at school & then coming home to sit on their asses even more in front of computer & cell phone screens....then wondering why so many of them are so fat...& why in turn that might create (maybe) a few resulting behavioral disorders.<br><br>i'm not sure when realizing the obvious was 1st swept under the carpet in America. it seems to be a general rule that apple pie & baseball might be two of the only things that receive more attention than the tantrum ploy for attention.<br><br>yelling, screaming, & hitting tends to get the job (somewhat) done for the under-developed. i'm sure for most on the receiving end there's little to gain trying to fight it after the reality of that image staring back from the mirror sets in.<br><br>what are they going to gain ?? what's the fucking point right ?? nothing is going to change so why try ? i can see where a bag of cheetos & a couch in front of a TV can become quite appealing.<br><br>i'm <strong>SO FUCKING GLAD</strong> i'm not a parent. i don't know what i would do if i was stuck with one of those baby-breeding loudmouth Grimace shaped teenage "girls" in skinny jeans. it would require more than a few of those mother's little helpers i assure you.....& that would just be for her. i would probably need something more along the lines of a lobotomy.<br><br>forgive & forget right ??</p>
<p><strong>it's either that or become a child abuser.</strong></p>
<p><strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/6a8666d040555d71ea18e502a45150a81d5ccb36/original/a-carella-signature.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MTMzeDU4Il0%3D.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="58" width="133" /></strong></p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/393702/021c62b0ae1fb2069531a1c941a7b13c74d7c6fc/original/fat-girl-skinny-jeans.jpg/!!/b%3AWyJyZXNpemU6MzUweDQzOSJd.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="439" width="350" /></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063845
2011-04-15T17:00:00-07:00
2016-04-02T20:03:37-07:00
Be The Peacock
<p><strong>i</strong>'ve been around a variety of bands lately because my building is mostly inhabited by "artists". nearly every evening i hear them practicing downstairs attempting to polish their wears. most of them are average to below average but that's nothing new. it's always been that way & will always be. call it the nature of any beast that allows anyone to participate in any given form a.k.a not ALL elitist views on society are "evil". ANYWAY....the one thing i'm most struck by is how bad they look.....before anyone goes off on some "it's just practice" tangent i'll counter with they look exactly the same way in their flyers & on their visually crippled internet pages so let's just forego any deliberately distorted and/or exaggerated interpretation. Before i move on there's only one word that fully describes their plight: GUTLESS. EVERYONE wants to stand out but it's a two-fold case of whether you can pull it off & whether you can stand the heat that it will bring. Since most exist on the lower rungs it shouldn't be too difficult to understand that. Just look at your own behavior & there's your answer.</p>
<p><br>i know this isn't just a midwest thing (even though that doesn't help). i've seen this same shit scour parts of the hollywood scene. just go to Spaceland in Silver Lake & you'll find band after band that make Silversun Pickups look like a bunch of overly self-conscious debutantes.<br><br>it makes zero sense to me. it's not like they don't have role models. i mean Jack White isn't exactly guyliner boy but at least he has style. besides the here & there event of Mr Cobain playing dress-up he was still a visually striking individual. i don't seem to recall too many woman referring to him as "ugly". <br><br>it's too bad that so many try to laugh off the peacock element (& we're all supposed to pretend it of course has NOTHING to do with inadequacy). those people forget that it's fun to dress up. fun is pure. just like it is on halloween. isn't it ironic that the number one average chick costume is dressing up like a slut ?? i think band boys need to think about that concept more than a bit & run with it like banshees out of a true fucking hell. <br><br>it begs an obvious question: if there's no difference between who's on the stage & who's in the audience why is there any stage at all ??? let's just skip it & invest the time in some other more worthwhile process...leave the faking to annoying theatre folk. they're much better at the British accent anyway.<br><br>being able to play an instrument isn't enough any more. i was a music instructor for almost ten years & i can easily state that a dildo who can play a guitar is usually little more than a dildo who can play guitar.....& in fact he/she has the ability to look like an even BIGGER dildo by walking down the street with it as if that seperates them from anyone else. you might as well pull your dick out & start beating off on the street corner: that would retain much more mystique...would be far FAR more potent in the originality department of "i'm such a rebel" ploys.<br><br>i think we can list SO many positive things the modern world brings to the table but one of the definite negatives is shining any light on those that truly do not deserve it via the internet & other platforms i wish Andy Warhol could have seen come to full fruition so he could have laughed at the irony of a world of non-stars thinking they're stars because they're the equivalent of fat girls sitting at McDonalds...super-sizing....& discussing everything under the sun except: their true WEIGHT.<br><br>who's to say who is a star ?? ANSWER: each & every one of you. start with yourself. raise your head from the bathroom sink & look in the mirror for 5 seconds & you KNOW the answer...in fact you knew it 5 seconds before you ever raised your head. you knew it the night before when your head was laying on your pillow & every night before as well as after.<br><br>the word "star" IS pretty lame but it's a figure of speech to highlight a more important point.<br><br>you knew.<br><br>you KNOW.....& if you need any rock 'n roll breastfeeding about a subject such as this you're in the WRONG racket i assure you.<br><br>why am i investing any time on this subject ?? because i respect the form & when people shit on this (or any) form i hold dear i do what SHOULD be done: i speak THE FUCK up. i'm not a FagBook pussy desperately trying to say the right thing to get the bone. most already have that all sealed up anyway. i'll go after a bigger piece of another pie thank you very much.<br><br>the line is WAY shorter at the peacock buffet. the food is better too. you might like to pretend it doesn't have a stiff upper lip & does not put up with a lot & keeps going anyway....but you know.<br><br>you knew.<br><br>you KNOW.</p>
Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063844
2011-04-11T17:00:00-07:00
2022-06-18T18:39:47-07:00
why Fagbook REALLY took over
<p>c'mon do we <strong>REALLY</strong> need to lie about it ?? i mean it's pretty fucking obvious. </p>
<p>initially Facebook is where all the boring shineless drearies went to run & hide because they couldn't compete on <strong>MySpace</strong>. too many beautiful men & women...too much potency with which to compete...too many profiles with an original look...no limit on the amount of friends you could have. you couldn't even post a stupid fucking picture of the goulash you just cooked & have a dozen other boring dildos <strong>JUST LIKE YOU</strong> "like" it & give something of absolutely zero value praise. </p>
<p>your pictures look worse than a bad chinese menu by the way (or make that <strong>BTW</strong> for all you clones out there...i know how you chumps just <strong>LOVE</strong> your acronyms).</p>
<p>oh & this is where you tell me how much <strong>BETTER</strong> it is to have all the music, art, & true creativity that built the house of <strong>MySpace</strong> flushed down the toilet in exchange for a bunch of worker bees who create nothing with their lives except for the walking <strong>STDs</strong> they call offspring. let's also not forget how <strong>GREAT</strong> it is to have our parents on the same site ready to pinch our cyber cheeks. at least they avoided MySpace because they knew they would look like <strong>COMPLETE</strong> assholes. that was a good thing for those of you who did not notice.<br><br>the <strong>ONLY</strong> reason i finally gave into having a <strong>Facebook</strong> profile (late 2010) is because there was nowhere left to terrorize. Oh how i miss those simple fresh as a summer's breeze days of entering (as a group) the <strong>Backstreet Boys</strong> chat room & setting the god damn place on fire.<br><br>needless to say i am eargerly awaiting the next change of guard & i hope i <strong>HOPE</strong> it is the polar opposite rebellious reaction...same as what happened with <strong>Facebook</strong> just down a different yellow prick road. it's like when a bunch of <strong>90s</strong> rocker guys come in looking & dressing like shit sooner or later it's time to get back to some glamour & (at least the tiniest lil shred of) beauty....& in <strong>1998</strong> in prances the movie Velvet Goldmine to save that putrid day.</p>
<p>cunt just doesn't express it enough besides the fact that the <strong>REAL</strong> cunts are the <strong>EXACT</strong> people who don't like that word.......ya know ?? who besides a complete cunt wouldn't like cunt ??????? 2nd only to fuck in word history.</p>
<p>it's ironic that all the idiots sold themselves on this whole <em><strong>Facebook is for grown-Ups</strong></em> fallacy when it's really a safe place for overgrown children who aren't even free enough to not use that cyber-fag spelling technique for their dirty f*ck words.</p>
<p>i.e. <strong>Facebook</strong> is 1st & foremost for the gutless & that's why it took over because that's most of the world. don't think so ?? just look at all its "rules". they're all specifically set up to appease that 2nd-class society. that "like" shit is the <strong>PERFECT</strong> tool to fool losers. it's like the cyber equivalent of a pat on the head for the good lil puppy who shit in the right corner. </p>
<p>i never said it was not <strong>genius</strong>. evil genius.</p>
<p>dontcha think ???</p>
<p><strong>LOL LMFAO</strong> or something like that....right????? </p>
<p><strong>====> you fucking <span style="text-decoration:underline">air-wasting douche bags</span>.</strong></p>
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Carella Ross
tag:carellaross.com,2005:Post/6063842
2011-04-04T17:00:00-07:00
2014-06-20T08:24:51-07:00
Pass The Cheetos Charlie (this show is WAY better than yours)
<p>i worked (acting not crew) on a television show at Warner Brothers Studios where Two & A Half Men shot as well for almost 5 months & Charlie Sheen's burgundy Porsche was outside their soundstage EVERY day & on time to boot. i walked by it on time never late once as well so i know. those are 7 AM i'm ready at 7:01 call times for all the 9 to 5er's who have to rush to make it on time. REAL hollywood gets up before them & is already in motion before their asses sip the 1st gulp 'o starbucks. also time is relative so shove the time zone analogies straight up that proverbial YEP</p>
<p>i saw it with my own two eyes because i'm not a nobody who can't get behind those gates. that "nobody" part IS crucial because it fully accounts for the discrepancy between my story & the one on the "news"......as well as the interpretation & before you get your panties in a bunch this has nothing to do with whether anyone has worked behind the gates of Warner Bros. call it a figure of speech but did i just suggest that i'm a "somebody" because i have ???</p>
<p>chalk it up as ===> SURE DID (i have tiger blood too)</p>
<p>see: i don't have to make shit up about shit i've never experienced. experience always trumps assumption as has been widely reported since the beginning of time</p>
<p>"tabloid" is fodder for boring LOSERS with no life so they have to live through the drama of others... a drama they LOVE to create & mold into any/every image that suits their plight.....like ANYTHING could be worse than their sub-par spouses, shit worker bee jobs, drowning in debt bill-paying procedures, & hotdog water stinkin' bastard offspring = figure it out</p>
<p>i know i know they're ALL such a bunch of righteous champs</p>
<p> i'm SO jealous.............</p>
<p>i say if you're going to be a fat ballerina you better hide your tutu in the back of the bottom drawer until you're ready to pull it out or know your true existence on the lower rungs of the ladder of life & shut the fuck up...one or the other NOT you suck at your life AND you get to pass judgment on others.....people may be born equal but they certainly do not end up that way unless you live your life in a Barney-like bubble</p>
<p>see it goes something like this: if Paris Hilton IS a complete fucking idiot why does she still have more than most & don't say her parents because whether you like it or not that chick makes her own money. So if she gets a pet name what does that make most of the rest ???? What do we call them ??? What's the stinging pet name for <em>those</em> roaches ??? Don't fret. They'll find more than a few in this one "note" (a feature most on here NEVER use go look....because no matter why they claim that's so it's because they really have absolutely NOTHING of any real value to say & could not articulate it with any originality if they tried....cue the tabloid)</p>
<p>ugly people sell ugly because that's what ugly people buy & that's exactly why they don't "buy" my unrelenting promotion of more/better than that. give me an overweight population & i'll serve up Dove's "campaign for real beauty" it's REALLY simple as well as obvious & hey if it is all just maybe-it's-this maybe-it's-that semantics than there should be no problem with me re-naming that a "campaign for fat ugly housewives who need to stop depleting the cotton reserves for self-serving coverage & you all might want to try that Nair stuff down there don't forget the treasure trail & your upper lip too you disgusting back roll Jackson 5 bush sausage casing slobs that nobody in their right mind wants to fuck so that's why you have your Hollywood crushes & your husband beats off to porn"</p>
<p> (or something like that)</p>
<p>that Dove thing is/was about as potent as me selling prosthetic beer-belly's for a "campaign for real male virility" but that would be repetitive since those guys already have those you'll get this pussy if you drink this beer commercials during football while adding if you do not want to be treated as a second class citizen do not act like one or buy into the bullshit they try to sell</p>
<p>and if you do: prepare to be sliced like a butterball</p>
<p>but that's exactly the bulk of what's being offered up in the world outside</p>
<p>farce KNOWS dollars & believe me dollars KNOW (make that munch the carpet of) farce. in the dictionary it's listed as a FARROW (look it up learn a new word)</p>
<p>which poses a variety of questions but none more than this: has "taking things at face value" been conveniently morphed into having a "bad" attitude or needing some rehab of the crumbs ????</p>
<p>i guess my point is.......................</p>
<p>what's worse: an unmarried guy that fully admits to snorting blow & fucking hookers and/or porn stars or some "normal" married chump who plugs his secretary at lunch & then goes home to tuck his rugrats in bed before laying down with his doesn't-know-the-truth wife. that is MOST DEFINITELY more common than the Charlie Sheen's of the world. why is THAT average nobody rarely on the evening news ?? Is Mr. McFuckingNobody's story of behind-the-back antics not as entertaining..........is that it ???????????? or is this more of a changing the names of the guilty fodder that serves those everyman nothings who reign in the numbers department ???</p>
<p>ahhhh i think Jed just hit some of that bubblin' crude</p>
<p>(that's the beverly hillbillies for the slow denses dumbfucks out there)</p>
<p>typical common American = i have a severe problem with the truth & i'm going to whine about it like a little bitch on a tantrum bender & if all the other losers just like me agree because it's socially profitable for ME ME ME it should be signed into law & suck the big fat cock of the court of public muffin-top opinion</p>
<p> Americans live in a fantasy world & try to teach their children the same the irony being that it's all really nightmare induced dogma</p>
<p> if you watch the documentary Waiting For Superman about American public education you'll see how American children rank #20-something behind the bulk of all the other countries that matter on Earth in proficiency as it relates to education but when asked how well they "think" they did they ranked #1 in the dillusion that they did a great job</p>
<p> sorry but shit doesn't work that way or maybe SHIT does</p>
<p> monkey see = monkey do</p>
<p> or perhaps shit breeds shit</p>
<p> welcome to life as we know it in 2011. if you think anything is going to get "better" you definitely are a foolish lost soul who does not understand the statistical real-life ramifications of "freedom". "freedom" = the less-than's will eventually breed like rabbits making the population pool so pathetically inept that they will have to be lead like sheep thus assuring that everyone will be forced to ride their human garbage assembly line like an out-of-control tsunami</p>
<p> maybe that sounds like some elitist Nazi propaganda to the feel-good-hit-of-the-summer lot but</p>
<p> a wave is a very VERY powerful force especially when that fucker is husky & deep fried</p>
<p> it's mother nature's finest destructive hour. HER way HER will.......NOT mine</p>
<p> that lot is so stuck in always desperately trying to say & do the right thing for the approval of the "others" that they've rendered themselves impotent anyway. just watch them on this site. watch all their trivial little colloquialisms & how many idiots will "like" it on here. Give people substance...something serious that has some true societal weight & it will be publicly (which means they're still watchin' sneakin' 'round whether they admit it or not) ignored unless it's served up on a stroke-them gently platter</p>
<p>pass the cheetos charlie (this show is WAY better than yours).</p>
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Carella Ross